Skub: New page: == Overview == '''Episode 35: Internet Hate Machine''' After being abducted, Casey and Jerry must traverse the internet to get him back. '''CAST:''' Skullbuggy, Jerry, Casey, Clerk, Cuil...

2008-08-09T11:41:48Z

New page: == Overview == '''Episode 35: Internet Hate Machine''' After being abducted, Casey and Jerry must traverse the internet to get him back. '''CAST:''' Skullbuggy, Jerry, Casey, Clerk, Cuil...

New page

== Overview ==
'''Episode 35: Internet Hate Machine'''

After being abducted, Casey and Jerry must traverse the internet to get him back.

'''CAST:''' Skullbuggy, Jerry, Casey, Clerk, Cuil, The Griefer

'''PLACES:''' The Living Room, The Lobby, Streets of Silicon City, Lair of the Griefer, the Plains of Safari, a forest, a desert, Mt. Mozilla

'''PAGE TITLE:''' The SkullB Show!

== Transcript ==
''{Open: the Living Room. SkullB is reading the paper. Jerry walks in.}''

'''JERRY:''' Hey, Skully. What're you reading?

'''SKULLB:''' It says here that five people were horribly burned when their house exploded. It also says that they're fine now.

'''JERRY:''' When will people learn not to mess with explosives? They can kill!

''{Pan over to show SkullB lighting about twenty cigarettes in his mouth at once.}''

'''SKULLB:''' ''{muffled}'' You said it!

''{Cue theme song.}''

''{Cut: the Living Room. Jerry and Casey are on the couch.}''

'''CASEY:''' So. It's been kinda slow, hasn't it?

'''JERRY:''' Ugh, you tell ''me''. I haven't seen ''any'' action in weeks!

'''CASEY:''' Well... how about a little action right ''now''?

'''JERRY:''' Oh, you are reading my ''mind''!

''{The two lean toward eachother to kiss. Suddenly, SkullB pops up between the two.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Hey, guys!

'''CASEY:''' ''AAAH''!

'''JERRY:''' ''Skully''!

'''SKULLB:''' You'll never guess what I did today!

'''JERRY:''' ... ''WHAT''.

'''SKULLB:''' I bought a new computer!

''{SkullB points offscreen. Pan over to show an impressive computer on a desk.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Can you believe I only had to pay a thousand dollars for it?

'''CASEY:''' A thousand- a ''thousand''-

'''JERRY:''' A thousand dollars?!

'''SKULLB:''' Yeah, so?

'''JERRY:''' ''{sighs}'' Does anybody we know have more than one kidney?

'''SKULLB:''' ''Psyche!'' It was free!

'''CASEY:''' ... Free?

'''JERRY:''' The bad part is that I feel more scared thinking about ''how'' you got it.

'''SKULLB:''' I won a contest! Albeit I was the only one who entered, but still!

'''JERRY:''' ... Oh. That's not suspicious at all!

'''CASEY:''' Jerry, how about we take this upstairs?

'''JERRY:''' Alright!

''{The two run upstairs, giggling.}''

'''SKULLB:''' ... Egh. Looks like I'm wearing earplugs tonight. Anyhow... new computer time!

''{SkullB goes over to the computer. He presses a key on it.}''

'''COMPUTER:''' Congratulations for purchasing this computer! ''Assimilate''!

'''SKULLB:''' Wait, wh-

''{Wires fly out of the computer and latch onto SkullB's head.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Ow! Stop that! That tickles!

''{Cut: the Living Room, the next day. Jerry and Casey walk down the stairs.}''

'''JERRY:''' Hey, Skully, I... Skully?

'''CASEY:''' He's still at his computer.

'''JERRY:''' ''Skully''! Get up and do something! Today's the day where we watch cop shows until we can't hear the word "crime drama" without groaning!

''{Pause.}''

'''JERRY:''' Skully? Skully, what's wro- Aaaah!

'''CASEY:''' What is it, Jerry?

'''JERRY:''' ... He's dead!

''{Pan over to show SkullB with blank white eyes. His jaw is slacked, and wires are strapped to his head.}''

'''SKULLB:''' ... Not... dead.

'''JERRY:''' Aaah! Even worse! He's a zombie!

'''SKULLB:''' Help... me... please...

'''JERRY:''' What do we do, unplug the computer?

'''CASEY:''' No! Doing that would kill him!

'''JERRY:''' ... How-

'''CASEY:''' I've watched some sci-fi before. Anyway... the way to save him... is to go into the computer!

'''JERRY:''' ... ''What''?!

'''CASEY:''' There was an episode of Futurama like this. All we need to do is get in there and stop whatever's got SkullB like this. Got it?

'''JERRY:''' ... ''Really''?!

'''CASEY:''' Yes. Really.

''{Casey presses a button on the keyboard. Some wires shoot from the computer and grabs her head.}''

'''CASEY:''' Got it! You do it now!

'''JERRY:''' ''{whimpers}'' Do I ''have'' to?

'''CASEY:''' DO IT.

''{Jerry presses the button and is similarly wired.}''

''{Cut: a strange room. It looks like the lobby of a hotel, but green and vector-like. Jerry and Casey appear, both as strange technicolor versions of their real selves.}''

'''JERRY:''' ... How did I get so... blue?

'''CASEY:''' Don't ask me.

'''JERRY:''' So this is what the internet looks like. A lot like TRON.

'''CASEY:''' How retro!

''{Jerry walks up to the front desk of the "Lobby". An avatar of a clerk digitizes behind it.}''

'''CLERK:''' Hello! Welcome to Silicon City, home of the American internet! Please enjoy your stay!

'''JERRY:''' Hi. Can you-

'''CLERK:''' Hello! Welcome to Silicon City, home of the American internet! Please enjoy your stay!

'''JERRY:''' ... Damn chatbots.

'''CASEY:''' ''{sighs}'' Looks like we'll have to find Skully ourselves.

''{The two leave the lobby. When they exit, they see an amazing city with giant buildings everywhere.}''

'''CASEY:''' Wow. Isn't this breathtaking?

'''JERRY:''' It just makes you think--half of that is porn.

''{The two walk along the sidewalk. As they walk, they pass many merchants.}''

'''MERCHANT:''' good deal on animes BUY NOW!!!!

'''OTHER MERCHANT:''' 1960 DESOTO GOOD CONDITION SLIGHT WATER DAMAGE

'''THIRD MERCHANT:''' roms 4 download - snes gba nes gb sega

'''JERRY:''' Don't listen to them, Casey. They promise nothing but shattered dreams.

'''CASEY:''' Yeah, I know.

''{Suddenly, a man jumps in front of the two.}''

'''MAN:''' DO YOU WANT TO STOP POP-UPS! CLICK HERE!

'''JERRY:''' ... Is that a ''bomb'' strapped to his chest?

'''CASEY:''' Just keep going.

''{Cut: an internet prison. SkullB is there, pacing. Suddenly, a person walks into the room, shrouded by a cloud of darkness.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Oh, hey- hey? Can you help me?

''{Pause.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Hi, Skullbuggy. Internet superstar? Yeah, that's me. Say, you don't know how I either got here or can get out, do you?

''{Pause.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Can you talk?

'''???????:''' Of course I can, newbie! I just didn't want to answer your questions!

'''SKULLB:''' Ah. Gotcha. Listen, I need to get out of here. Fast.

'''???????:''' No way. You're staying here until I'm done with you.

'''SKULLB:''' ... Done with me? Does that mean...

'''???????:''' It means the exact opposite of that, thank you.

'''SKULLB:''' ... Hey, can I ask you something?

'''???????:''' Go ahead.

'''SKULLB:''' Is there anything to stop me from just ''shooting'' my way out of here?

'''???????:''' ... You know what? No. I never thought of that.

''{Pause.}''

'''???????:''' So, what? You going to shoot your way out?

'''SKULLB:''' That's what you'd ''want'' me to do! I'm smarter than that!

'''???????:''' ''{under his breath}'' Damn! He's right. It looks like his artificial intelligence ''is'' a match for mine!

''{The shadowy figure clears his throat and turns to the door.}''

'''???????:''' Okay, then. I'll be out on a Dorito run. You stay in there or a firewall's going to raise. Got it?

''{The shadowy figure leaves.}''

'''SKULLB:''' ''{yelling}'' Yeah, go get some Doritos! Fatty fat fat!

''{Pause.}''

'''SKULLB:''' ''{yelling}'' And get some for me!

''{Cut: the streets. Casey and Jerry are sitting on a bench, resting up.}''

'''CASEY:''' It's been an hour, and we still can't find him!

'''JERRY:''' It looks like he's not in this city.

'''????:''' You wish to see your friend?

''{A man in robes appears in front of the two.}''

'''JERRY:''' AAH! Who are you?

'''CUIL:''' I am the great sage Cuil, training under the great wizard Google. I have heard your plea. Tell me, who is it that is missing?

'''JERRY:''' A good friend of mine. His name is Skullbuggy, I was wondering if-

'''CUIL:''' Say no more, say no more.

''{Cuil closes his eyes and glows red. A few seconds later, it stops.}''

'''CUIL:''' Using my seeing powers, I have found that your friend is at the top of Mt. Mozilla, just past the Plains of Safari and the Dunes of Explorer.

'''CASEY:''' ... You serious?

'''CUIL:''' My name means "knowledge". Wouldn't you trust me?

'''JERRY:''' He's right. And with as many hits as Google on the launch, you can't lose!

'''CUIL:''' Thank you. Now hold still--I shall teleport you to the Plains of Safari.

''{The two hold still as Cuil glows red once again. The two disappear into thin air.}''

'''CUIL:''' Gates-speed.

''{Cut: the Plains of Safari. It is a large expanse, with trees sparcely scattered around. All across, strange animals walk the ground and ocassionally eat from the trees. All this still looks vectored. Jerry and Casey appear.}''

'''JERRY:''' Woah. It's neat here.

'''CASEY:''' Quiet, man! We have to find Skully, quick! To an exploration montage!

''{Cue [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMa0aOHxTEk this] music.}''

''{The two start running across the plain. As they do, they pass all manner of animals. Suddenly, Casey stops. She hops on a nearby elephant and ushers Jerry on. Now on the elephant, the two are carried slowly across the plain.}''

''{Cut: a forest. Jerry is cutting vines away with an e-machete while Casey follows behind. Suddenly, men in tribal masks attack. Jerry fights back and they are fragged.}''

''{Cut: a desert. Casey and Jerry are riding a strange-looking sand worm across the sands. Casey is having fun, while Jerry is holding onto the worm tightly, trying not to fall off.}''

''{Cut: Mt. Mozilla. The two are climbing up the mountain. Jerry suddenly slips, and falls onto a nearby ledge. He gets up, dusts off and continues. A silhouette is shown of the two climbing the mountain. Eventually, Jerry and Casey reach the top to see a large building.}''

'''JERRY:''' Wow... this must be it.

'''CASEY:''' A-duuuh, really?

''{Pause.}''

'''CASEY:''' Too much rhetoric?

'''JERRY:''' A little.

''{The two enter the building. Music stop.}''

''{Cut: SkullB's cell. The shadowy figure from before walks in.}''

'''???????:''' Hello, Skullivan. I trust you've been well?

'''SKULLB:''' Out with it--who are you?

'''???????:''' Oh, did I forget to mention?

''{The shadows dissipate to show a fat, pimpled man. He is short, stocky, and has an upturned nose, not unlike a pig. He wears a shirt reading "LONGCAT IS LOOOOONG".}''

'''GRIEFER:''' I am the man who was created solely to cause misery! If you go on a forum, I shall be there to insult you! If you go on Youtube, I shall have a snide video reply! I am the essence of assholery on the internet! I rule the net with an iron fist! I am Anonymous... I am... THE GRIEFER!

'''SKULLB:''' ... So all you do is make people angry and sad? All day?

'''GRIEFER:''' Exactly. ''{smirks}''

'''SKULLB:''' So you're the kind what got picked on in high school gym class, and decided to take it out on other people?

'''GRIEFER:''' Ye- wait, what?

'''SKULLB:''' And instead of lead a ''normal'' life, you have to stay butthurt about this? You have to take out all your pent-up rage on the one place that ''doesn't'' matter?

'''GRIEFER:''' STFU, dood! You have no-

'''SKULLB:''' Did I ''say'' I was done?

'''GRIEFER:''' >:(

'''SKULLB:''' What gets me is that you get a kick out of being a bully. On the ''internet''. Because you feel like showing people what you had to go through, you're nothing but a worthless sack of crap, a lump that gets off to seeing other people cry. You get your jollies from seeing people get angry. You're what we in the ''real world''--ever heard of it?--call a mental midget. In fact, you're probably still ''in'' high school.

'''GRIEFER:''' STFU DOOD ITS NOT FUNNY I WAS PICKED ON IN HIGH SCHOOL I HAVE A CONDITION-

'''SKULLB:''' Let me stop you there, buddy. There's nothing that ''makes'' you act like an asshole. You choose to be one. Because of this, I urge you to either get off the internet or let me go. 'Cause I do ''not'' want to deal with you. At all.

'''GRIEFER:''' WHY DON'T YOU COME TO MY HOUSE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE?

'''SKULLB:''' You know what? Just for you, I will. Where do you live?

'''GRIEFER:''' LOL LIKE IM TELLIN YOU LOL

'''SKULLB:''' No, really! I will come over to your house. Or do you not want that?

'''GRIEFER:''' ROFL

'''SKULLB:''' Well?

''{Close up on SkullB's face on a zooming blue background, much like in Phoenix Wright.}''

'''SKULLB:''' If you're really so confident, why don't you tell me where you live? After all, you're such a tough guy, aren't you? Well? ''Aren't you?''

'''GRIEFER:''' I- but- I- no- no- I-

'''SKULLB:''' Now if you ''want'' me to kick your sorry butt, then leave me here. You know, if you want.

'''GRIEFER:''' ... Okay! I give! I give!

'''SKULLB:''' That's better.

''{SkullB leaves.}''

''{Cut: a corridor. SkullB leaves just as Casey and Jerry enter.}''

'''JERRY:''' SkullB! You're alright!

'''CASEY:''' How'd you get ''here''?

'''SKULLB:''' A fat kid trapped me here.

'''CASEY:''' And... you beat him?

'''SKULLB:''' With words, yes. I doubt he's gonna be back any time s-

''{Suddenly, the walls of the room are engulfed in flames. The entrances are blocked by flames as well.}''

'''CASEY:''' A firewall!

'''SKULLB:''' Son of a-

'''GRIEFER:''' ''{offscreen}'' That's right!

''{The Griefer appears in a small, cat-shaped flying machine.}''

'''GRIEFER:''' If you thought you could get away from me with words, you'd be wrong!

'''SKULLB:''' God''damn'' are you persistent.

'''GRIEFER:''' And once I've finished killing you, I'll take the girl for mine own!

'''CASEY:''' ... ''Pfffthahahahahahahaha''!

'''GRIEFER:''' Wh- what?

'''CASEY:''' Are you- hahaha, are you- are you ''serious''?!

''{Casey doubles over in laughter.}''

'''GRIEFER:''' Change of plans! Now I'll kill ''all'' of you!

'''SKULLB:''' Bring it, buddy!

''{The Griefer pushes a button on the console in his machine. Suddenly, a large cannon appears from the bottom of it. On the barrel of the gun are two bulging eyes and a pair of red lips.}''

'''GRIEFER:''' IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER!

'''SKULLB:''' ... That's not funny.

'''GRIEFER:''' STFU AND TASTE MAH LAZER

''{The laser, as promised, fires. SkullB and the gang dodge it. The laser leaves a large hole in the ground. In retaliation, SkullB fires a SkullBeam at the Griefer. The Griefer's flying machine explodes, sending the Griefer into the firewall, defragging him.}''

'''GRIEFER:''' STAY STRONG ANONYMOUS!

''{The rooms starts to shake.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Uh-oh, a load-bearing boss!

'''JERRY:''' ''Load'' is right!

'''CASEY:''' Pfft, he was fat.

'''SKULLB:''' Never mind that! Get in!

''{Casey hops into SkullB and Jerry grabs onto the back. The three drive out of the lair and off the summit of the mountain. In mid-air, wings come out of SkullB's sides and the group flies in the air. The fortress explodes behind them as they land on the ground, safely.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Wow. Epic. I didn't even know I cou-

''{Suddenly, SkullB starts to disappear.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Woo-hoo! We're leaving!

''{Casey and Jerry start to disappear too.}''

'''CASEY:''' Thank ''God''.

''{Cut: the Living Room. Jerry, SkullB and Casey stand in front of the computer, still looking zombified. Suddenly, the color returns to their faces, and the wires fall of their heads.}''

'''CASEY:''' Yes! We're back!

'''JERRY:''' And this just goes to show you... the internet is a horrible place. It's the worst thing for you!

''{Pan over to show SkullB with about fifty cigarettes in his mouth.}''

'''SKULLB:''' ''{muffled}'' You said it!

''{Cue credits.}''

The SkullB Show/35 - Revision history

Skub: New page: == Overview == '''Episode 35: Internet Hate Machine''' After being abducted, Casey and Jerry must traverse the internet to get him back. '''CAST:''' Skullbuggy, Jerry, Casey, Clerk, Cuil...