JCM: /* Transcript */ minorly editing

2009-08-20T21:34:24Z

‎Transcript: minorly editing

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== Summary ==
The Apes plant what they want to.

== Transcript ==
''{Cut to the meeting room. Userunknown is showing a slideshow}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' So, the apes of garden are led by Hairy Potter. I believe that they have been stealing entire ecosystems. Any thoughts on this crisis?

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Why don't we just take back the ecosystems then burn their planet?

'''SUPERDUDE:''' Didn't you hear him say that they have the best defences in the known universe? We would be killed in seconds!

'''THE SPART:''' I couldn't care less about those dirty apes! They smell, have low hygiene, and even worse, THEY DON'T HAVE A FASHION SENSE!! Us Felis-Cheatians are much more stylistic than them.

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' Shutup. You are a cat, you can not talk!

'''THE SPART:''' Not just a cat. A Cat Cheat Hybrid Species. I was created by The original Spart, my ancestor, mating with a stray cat.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' I owned the Spart.

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' ''{To The spart}'' Didn't need to know that, moving on. I suggest we send in a small strike team dressed up as female apes. ''{Note:they are like the ape from planet of the apes.}''

'''THE SPART:''' Wait? Transvestite Apes!? Excuse me, but I am not Tim Curry!

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' No. We are going to use that rabbit.

''{The camera pans right to show Bugs Bunny}''

'''BUGS BUNNY:'''Eh, what's up, spart?

'''THE SPART:''' ''{Whistles, then presses the Rabbit Eject button. Bugs Bunny is launched out into space.}'' Oops. Accident...

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' You have to get him back, or we dress you up like a female ape.

'''CHAOS:''' Good news, everyone! I got my nephew to help on the ship! He was at Space DeVry getting his diploma!

'''JOSEPH:''' Sorry it took so long for me to get here. So, what should I do?

''{K-Bot wobbles in. He has a disc labeled "ape_virus.exe" stuck in his disc drive.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{COMPUTER VOICE}'' ERROR. ERROR. VIRUS PROGRAM INITIATED. DOES NOT COMPUTE. ''{clicks}'' WEDIR. COMPUTE NOT IT DOES. PICKLE. NO ViRU''S'' ALLoWEd!?! MUSTN'T. ZBD. BElL i A'M. ''{normal}'' HELP ME! I went to explore the ape planet and they installed a virus program into my hard drive! The only way to stop this virus is to... ''{computer voice}'' LuiGI MAMa. ASSIMILATE MODE ACTIVATE. ''{Multiple guns appear all over K-Bots's body.}'' CLEANING MODE ACTIVATE. ''{K-bot's feet turn into soap brushes. One of the guns is replaced with a toilet brush.}'' GAMING MODE ACTIVATE. ''{K-Bot's eyes roll back and are replaced with a screen. NES controllers come out of his mouth. Super Mario Bros appears on the screen.}'' COMPUTE.

'''JOSEPH:''' I'll save me and some other people!

''{Joseph pulls out the disc and eats it.}''

''{Ryan-X walks in}''

'''RYAN-X:''' WHAT is going on...

''{Cut to the opening. Fade in on the training room, where GR-01 and Userunknown are shooting moving targets. The words "Plant it on the Apes" fade in down the bottom, then fade back out.}''

'''GR-01:''' ''{gets one}'' 27, ''{gets another}'' 28, ''{gets another}'' 29...

''{Sephiroth comes in. OOC: Oh yeah, I'm gonna do the Opening and Closing Theme to this soon.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Hmm... Nice Accuracy. But, can you beat me? ''{Gets out a pistol, and shoots 200 targets in a minute.}''

''{GR-01, using speed and accuracy, gets 240 in a minute.}''

'''RYAN-X:''' That's nothing. ''{shoots 241 in a minute}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Hmm.. You're challenging me. BEAT THIS! ''{Gets out a Musket, and shoots 1000 targets in 10 seconds.}'' The slowest gun, and the fastest time.

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Reoving the disc won't work, the virus was downloaded into my system! The only way to stop it is to... ''{robot voice}'' ERROR. ERROR. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Hmm... Let me see. ''{Opens up K-Bot, and gets shocked.}'' Oww... The virus attacked me.. And short circuited my brain chip! ''{Sings the Red Dwarf theme.}'' Fun Fun Fun! In the sun sun sun!

''{Chaos walks in with a chip, and puts it in GR-01's back. He turns off, then turns back on and pops toast out.}''

'''CHAOS:''' I've decided to turn him into a toaster for now. I was hungry.

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{open head catches fire}'' IEEEE! THE PAIN!!! ''{runs around screaming}''

'''CHAOS:''' Oh, Boy! I was going to convert K-Bot into a microwave so I could make smores, but that's better!

''{Chaos throws a rock at K-Bot, who falls down. He then begins to roast a marshmallow over his head.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{still burning}'' The fire eliminated the virus, but now I'm dented and burning. ''{a marshmallow falls into K-Bot's head}'' Great, now I'm dented and burning with a melty marshmallow in my head! I think the fire is melting my ''{computer voice}'' system. If this continues, my system will stop runnin...''{shuts down, fire goes out}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' That can't be good. Well, I'm going to fight some apes with Superdude.

''{Cuts to the planet. Userunknown and Superdude fighting apes}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' Wow. This is easy.

'''SUPERDUDE:''' Uh, sir? I can't hold these guys back. Can you get us some help?

''{Cut back to the ship. K-Bot is lying on the ground. The ship tilts, and he rolls into a computer. A wire attaches his hard drive to it. He reboots.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' What happened? Oh yeah, I caught fire and my hard drive melted. ''{notices wires}'' I guess the only thing keeping me alive is this computer. ''{sighs}'' Great. ''{looks at computer}'' Wait, isn't this the main computer?

''{GIM2 walks over.}''

'''GIM2:''' Hello there. By the looks of it, you'll probably be needing repairs?

''{A voice is heard}''

'''VOICE:''' Sleep mode: Termanated.

''{After a few minutes CC walks out of a room}''

'''CC:''' Hey, did I miss something. Cause It sure feels like I do.

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' I caught fire and my hard drive melted. I somehow managed to bond with the main computer, and that brought my systems up. Unfortunately, the wires connecting me to the computer are very short, so if I move form this spot, I'll be disconnected and shut down. I need a new permanent hard drive, as well as some replacement parts to replace anything that is broken of burnt.

''{Chaos crams a new circuit board and chip inside, and K-Bot shoots out toast.}''

'''CHAOS:''' YAY! A SECOND TOASTER!

''{OOC:You CAN'T TALK when you're a toaster.}''

''{A spearer pops out of K-Bot's head.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{through speaker}'' I'M NOT A TOASTER YOU JERK!! If you remove the board and fix me, I'll use a special power and make all much toast you can eat with one of my special powers!

''{Chaos rips off the speaker.}''

'''CHAOS:''' I needed one of these!

''{A second speaker pops up.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' I hate you.

'''CHAOS:''' Yeah, We hate you, Superdude!

''{K-Bot begins rapidly shooting flaming toast at Chaos, but he eats it all.}''

'''CHAOS:''' Delicious!

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Wait, I'm much more advanced than an ordinary robot, I can force any unwanted part of my system to shut down!

''{K-Bot shuts down the toaster card. The speaker retracts, and he stops shooting toast.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{normal}'' Now if you would just fix me, I'll make you as much toast as you want.

'''CHAOS:''' I'm good. I only made you a toaster because I was bored. I still have GR, who I've locked in a secret hiding place!

'''RYAN-X:''' What secret hiding place?

''{Cut to inside a closet where GR-01 is still popping out toast. The closet is currently half full. Cut back.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Uh Ryan, can you fix me? I need a new hard drive, a new head panel, and a bunch of memory chips and wires.

'''RYAN-X:''' Ok, hold on... ''{flies off and comes back with the needed parts, fixes K-Bot}''

'''CHAOS:''' Now for the toaster installment! ''{plugs another toaster chip into Kirbychu.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{ejects toaster chip}'' No thank you. ''{seals head so no new chips can be added, leaves}''

''{In the Room K-Bot is in, Chaos installs a Chip in him. He shoots out toast. He then ejects the chip.}''

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' I hate you. ''{leaves the ship}''

''{Toast starts seeping out from under a nearby door.}''

'''RYAN-X:''' What the?!

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Chaos hid a toast-shooting robot in the closet.

'''RYAN-X:''' Well tell Chaos to shut him off before I have to reference the worst thing ever.

''{OOC: I don't hate Youtube Poop, but you'd think after 7000 years Ryan would hate it.}''

''{A bunch of lazers point to Ryan-X.}''

'''LAZER:''' Say it and die. ''{Points to a board of rules, in which one says "No Youtube Poop References.}''

''{OOC: In this time, anything mechanical has a personality, even the ship.}''

''{GIM2 walks over, opens the door where toast is seeping out, and a giant wave of toast floods over him.}''

'''GIM2:''' Oh my!

'''THESTICK:''' ''{Walking in}'' Hi! What goes on? I was asleep. Can someone tell me what happened while I was asleep?

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' ''{in Ryan's voice}'' That's mama Luigi to you, Mario! ''{runs off}''

''{Cut back to Userunknown and Superdude on the planet. Userunknown is using his two-way radio}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' Why won't any one pick up? We can't hold the apes back forever!

'''SUPERDUDE:'''Try a diffrent channel or frequency!

''{Userunknown shoots 20 apes and turns the 2-way radio back on.}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' This is Userunknown to ship, come in ship. I need backup now! I repeat, I need backup now! This is an order on priority code restricted! ''{occ:Restricted as in only very high ranking officers can use it, and it takes priority over all other orders.}''

''{TheStick picks up a radio}''

'''THESTICK:''' ''{Speaking into radio}'' Hello Userunknown! Do you need backup?

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' Yes!

'''THESTICK:''' Don't worry! I've planted a bomb in the center of the planet that will detonate in several hours!

''{Cut to the ship. JCM appears on the big screen.}''

'''JCM:''' What's the problem, men?

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Evil apes are stealing ecosystems, we're losing, I broke many times, one of our robots is flooding the ship with toast, the computer's slightly malfunctioning because I was using it to stay alive, ''{Chaos jams a toasgter card in K-Bot, K-Bot ejects it.}'' And Chaos is turning all the robots into toasters!

'''THE SPART:''' Apes? God. I hate those dirty apes!

'''JCM:''' ''{thinking}'' Hmm, apes = bananas and toast = bread. Banana bread! ''{talking}'' That reminds me, I haven't eaten breakfast yet! I'll be right back. ''{rolls offscreen}''

''{More toast starts slipping along the floor.}''

''{The Lazers start charging}''

'''RYAN-X:''' OH, GEE WIZ! I HOPE THESE LAZERS DON'T OWN ME!

''{The lazers fire at Ryan-X, charring him and his armour}''

'''RYAN-X:''' Well, I guess that's over with...

''{Ryan's robotic armour crumbles, leaving just Ryan's head and arms}''

'''RYAN-X:''' Aw crap.

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Armor replacement mode, activate. ''{new robotic armor appears around Ryan}''

'''LAZER:''' ''{In GlaDOS's Voice.}'' We have warned you. Next time you break the rules, you will be destroyed, and then there will be cake.

''{Cut back to Userunknown and Superdude, still shooting apes}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''Oh, goo-WHAT!?!?!A BOMB!?!!?WE ARE ON THE PLANET AND WE CAN'T GET OFF!

''{A bomb is heard blowning up}''

'''SUPERDUDE:'''Uhh, sir?What was that?

''{They turn around and see a huge wall of fire slowly moving in their direction}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''''{Talking into the 2-way radio}''This is Userunknown to ship!Come in ship!The Stick put a bomb in the center of the planet and we're stuck on the planet!The bomb has gone off!I need evacuation now!This order is on priority code restricted!

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' Warp mode activate.

''{Userunknown warps into the ship.}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''Uhhhh, what about Superdude?

'''K-BOT HR'D:''' I think he was teleported into the bathroom.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' He was. I had to plunge him out. ''{Pulls out Plunger.}''

''{OOC: Wrap this up, I'm gonna end the episode now.}''

''{The planet is seen exploding in the background}''

'''THE END'''

''{JCM walks onto the big screen with banana bread with a bite in it in hand.}''

'''JCM:''' Oh, you seem to have fixed it yourself. Continue on then. ''{leaves}''

Space-Aged Stupidity/eps/3 - Revision history

JCM: /* Transcript */ minorly editing