Noxigar at 15:31, 11 August 2016

2016-08-11T15:31:18Z

Noxigar: Created page with "'''SSXMail 1. The Grand Beginning'''
'''Created On''' 15:37, 28 Sep 2005 (MDT)
'''Cast (in order of appearence):''' X On Fire, HRWiki:Strong B..."

2016-08-11T15:30:15Z

Created page with "'''SSXMail 1. The Grand Beginning''' '''Created On''' 15:37, 28 Sep 2005 (MDT) '''Cast (in order of appearence):''' X On Fire, HRWiki:Strong B..."

New page

'''SSXMail 1. The Grand Beginning''' 
'''Created On''' 15:37, 28 Sep 2005 (MDT) 
'''Cast (in order of appearence):''' [[User:X On Fire|X On Fire]], [[HRWiki:Strong Bad|Strong Bad]] 
'''Locations:''' Dark Area, Strong Bad's Computer Room, X On Fire's House, Bathroom 

XOF starts off with a quest...
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' '''''WHAT''''' IS YOUR QUEST?</blockquote>
to be finished in email 50.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' '''''WHAT''''' IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I sometimes forget Monty Python being replicated in the good ol' post-2010 era of the WUW was still largely a thing.</blockquote>
 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Uh, France? No, I meant Brit- 
''{Mr. Cloud is cast into the gorge of eternal peril.}''</blockquote>
He also talks about his hair, for some reason. Weirdo...
<blockquote>''{Mr. Cloud drops back into his seat}'' 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Wait, I'm back here? Lightning Guy, you tease, you!</blockquote>
== Transcript ==

''{Static appears, which slowly fades into a pitch-black room,''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Mr. Cloud, we've gone blind! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' And we can't see anything, either! 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' :I</blockquote>
''and X On Fire's outline can be seen.}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' Hello. My name is X On Fire. I have been trapped in Free Country for a week now. Many of you may consider this a dream come true,
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It'd be a dream come true to see anything. Turn on the damn lights!</blockquote>
but I have more important things to deal with.
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' You were going to "deal with" us for wanting you gone? For some reason I don't feel intimidated.</blockquote>
An evil force who was created to destroy, named Dark X, has trapped me here, with only one way of escaping. If I ever want to go home, I must find a ship called the "Omega Starcarrier." It is the only ship powerful enough to survive the trip. If I do not get home soon, Dark X will completely destroy my entire home planet. Unfortunately, all traces of the Omega Starcarrier have been lost for millions of years. I may be here for a while.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh well. Wanna get a drink? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Fo sho.</blockquote>
''{The darkness fades away, and reveals that X On Fire is in Strong Bad's Computer Room. The Lappy is gone, and X On Fire is using the "Type-Zap 9000".}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' ''{jumps up, looks at the email summary}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' ''''WHAT''''' IS YOUR QUE-Whoa, déjà vu.</blockquote>
What? I'm not staying here for 50 emai- er, I mean, days...Yeah, let's go with that...
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' So are we doing that bridge of death thing or what?</blockquote>
''{X On Fire jumps back down, and looks at the screen.}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' Hey everybody. According to some ''jerk'', not mentioning any names, I'm going to be here for a while. Well, I gue- Wait. Who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you watching me? AAAAHHHH! ''{runs offscreen}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh no, our cover's blown! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Mr. Exoeff, tear down this wall!</blockquote>
''{Cut to the side of Strong Bad's house. X On Fire runs on from the left.}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' Woah, that was a clo- Ahhh! They're following me! AAAHHH!!! ''{runs away, and heads back inside his house, and locks the door}'' LEAVE ALL ME ALONE!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It's no use running. The black man always dies first. All him.</blockquote>
''{Cut to a techinical difficulties screen, which disappears after five seconds. X On Fire is back in SB's Computer Room.}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' Sorry about that. Now, let's get to the email thing.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{runs in from the left, angry}'' HEY! THE EMAIL SHOW IS MINE! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOut.. ''{notices X On Fire is there}'' Err, I mean, about time you started answering emails! Well, I have to go on a mission to the moon for an undisclosed period of time. Bye! ''{runs away}''
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Pretty anxious about a talking candle. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I don't blame him. Have you seen those things dance? 
http://images.starpulse.com/news/bloggers/637254/blog_images/beauty-and-the-beast.jpg 
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I don't see how. Also, I thought the quality dip was SSX's doing initially.</blockquote>
I crapped my pants
<blockquoute>'''NAMINE:''' Translation: ''jizzed and turned it into a bar of soap''</blockquote>

just looking at that.</blockquote>
'''X ON FIRE:''' Well, I guess I should give you a tour of my house.

''{X On Fire walks out of the room, revealing that the room he was just in was in a small box, in a huge mansion. X On Fire's voice echos as he talks.}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' Pretty sweet, isn't it? Oh, and if you're wondering why SB's Computer room is here, well, we made a deal. If he gave it to me, I would not kill him that day.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' with his invisible whip remember that</blockquote>
''{walks back into the computer room and sits down at the Type-Zap 3000}''
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' You'd imagine that a tour of a huge mansion would be a bit longer.</blockquote>
What, did you expect me to sing some stupid rap?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Not sure you can "sing" a rap.</blockquote>
''{clicks on an "OPEN DOS" icon, and types the following}''

<blockquote class=ssxonlappy>
a>open file_ssxmail.exe█ 
 
Hey X Man, 
Have you ever dyed your hair? Or do you not even 
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' pause for effect</blockquote>
have hair? 
A'ight, 
Lunar Jesty 

| </blockquote>

'''SUPER SONIC X:''' Well, Lunjes...I...well...I don't. Since I'm an X, I have no need to. But, there was that one time when I got that system virus...
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' We're gonna get one of these
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I think it's just a flashback episode ''for a reason.''</blockquote>

every day, aren't we? Aren't we?! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hold it together, Lightning Guy! I haven't finished setting up your life insurance yet.</blockquote>
''{Fade to one of X On Fire's memories. He is in a bathroom, with hair jel in his hand.}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' Well, since I am obviously a living creature,
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' That just happens to be completely made up of flames.</blockquote>
and not a robot, let alone a virused robot,

I see no harm in dyeing my hair. ''{opens the hair jel bottle}''

''{Hair jel spills all over X On Fire's X.''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' ''{whispering}'' His X is his naughty parts.</blockquote>
''Sparks begin flying out.}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He must have had a wild night.</blockquote>
'''X ON FIRE:''' KKKkkaZZZZrlloo... ''{falls onto the ground}''

''{Fade back to present day}''

'''X ON FIRE:''' AUGH! THE PAIN! THE MEMORY! IT SHALL HAUNT ME FOREVER! WHY DID I TRY TO DIE MY HAIR?
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm pretty sure your hair has no idea why you tried to die. Perhaps you should see a therapist instead.</blockquote>
''{returns to normal, speaks sarcastically}'' Well, thanks, Lungeman. Now I have to erase my memory ''again''. I hope you're happy. ''{walks off}''
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' JUST GONNA BE WALDIN' OFF NOW</blockquote>
''{The Paper comes down. It reads, "Hello, people. Please don't tell Strong Bad I'm helping XOF." More of it prints out, reading, "Click here to email X On Fire at fireman@genericwebsite.net."}''

==Easter Eggs==
*Click on "XOF" on the paper to see the following scene:
:''{X On Fire is in a room with large screens all around him. He takes out a small wire. His X is open, and he begins hitting it with the wire.}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That's...not a pleasing image.
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Because your mind ''has'' to go in the gutter.</blockquote></blockquote>
:'''X ON FIRE:''' Arg! Ow! AH! ''{the wire gets stuck}'' AAAAHHHHH! ''{shuts down, and then immediately turns back on}'' Em pleh ydobemos nac, ylsuoires?
== Fun Facts ==
===References===
*None yet.

===General Fun Facts===
* None yet.

@@ Line 55: / Line 55: @@
 <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I don't see how. Also, I thought the quality dip was SSX's doing initially.</blockquote>
 I crapped my pants
-<blockquoute>'''NAMINE:''' Translation: ''jizzed and turned it into a bar of soap''</blockquote>
+<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Translation: ''jizzed and turned it into a bar of soap''</blockquote>
 just looking at that.</blockquote>

RiffText/RTOD/SSXMails/The Grand Beginning - Revision history

Noxigar at 15:31, 11 August 2016

Noxigar: Created page with "'''SSXMail 1. The Grand Beginning''' '''Created On''' 15:37, 28 Sep 2005 (MDT) '''Cast (in order of appearence):''' X On Fire, HRWiki:Strong B..."

Noxigar: Created page with "'''SSXMail 1. The Grand Beginning'''
'''Created On''' 15:37, 28 Sep 2005 (MDT)
'''Cast (in order of appearence):''' X On Fire, HRWiki:Strong B..."