https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=RiffText%2FRTOD%2FSSXMails%2FBHZ%2FThe_X_2RiffText/RTOD/SSXMails/BHZ/The X 2 - Revision history2026-04-19T18:20:32ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.28.2https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?title=RiffText/RTOD/SSXMails/BHZ/The_X_2&diff=190287&oldid=prevNoxigar: Created page with "WILL BE FORMATTED LATERCoach Z turns on the tv in his room, and lays down in his bed. <blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY AND MR. CLOUD:''' The action never stops!</blockquote> Comme..."2016-08-11T14:39:29Z<p>Created page with "WILL BE FORMATTED LATERCoach Z turns on the tv in his room, and lays down in his bed. <blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY AND MR. CLOUD:''' The action never stops!</blockquote> Comme..."</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>WILL BE FORMATTED LATERCoach Z turns on the tv in his room, and lays down in his bed.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY AND MR. CLOUD:''' The action never stops!</blockquote><br />
Commercial announcer: If you are watching this commercial, you have just won a million dollars! Just enter the following string of numbers on your telephone and talk to an intern for up to 6 hours and 21 minutes!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' This couldn't possibly be a sham!</blockquote><br />
Coach Z: I've gorttar gert a pern and perper!<br />
<br />
Coach Z runs out, and the number (54392) 123-456-789-1011-1213-1415 appears on the bottom of the screen.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Nope, not a sham at all.</blockquote><br />
Coach Z: Harve any orf you gurys seen my pern and perper?<br />
<br />
SSX: No.<br />
<br />
Gir: Loser.<br />
<br />
Coach Z: Storp fading me!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Not to fade you or anything, but the joke got old when you first used it.<br /><br />
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What do you mean, Lightning Guy? Old jokes are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience.<br /><br />
''{Steve Martin gives a thumbs up.}''<br /><br />
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, I get it.<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I don't, but what else is new?</blockquote><br />
Because he's an ''old joke''.<br /><br />
''{Steve Martin slumps off in shame.}''</blockquote><br />
Coach Z returns to his room. He quickly copies down the phone number on the screen,<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Who would've figured that the pen and paper was sticking out of his ass the entire time?</blockquote><br />
and runs into another room to a phone. Coach Z punches in the phone number on the paper.<br />
<br />
Intern: Hello, welcom to the U.S. Ar-<br />
<br />
Coach Z: I'll accerpt irt!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Sorry, sir. We speak English in this country.</blockquote><br />
Coach Z hangs the phone up, and runs back into his room.<br />
<br />
3 hours later...<br />
<br />
Someone arrives at the house. He presses the doorknob,<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm pretty sure you put keys in doorknobs, not your fingers.</blockquote><br />
and SSX gets it.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The doorknob? I can't really picture that well.</blockquote><br />
The man at the door: Hello. My name is Mr. GuyWhoPicksPeopleUpToBringThemToBootCamp.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Poor man must have been tortured by classmates.</blockquote><br />
Have you seen this man?<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I ain't seen nuttin', coppa!</blockquote><br />
Mr. GWPPUTBTTBC shows SSX a picture of Coach Z.<br />
<br />
SSX: He's in the health risk zone.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Harsh, man.</blockquote><br />
Mr. BootCamp guy: Thank you, sir.<br />
<br />
That Mr. guy heads to Coach Z's room. He takes COach Z<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' ''{screaming}'' CO-''{normal}'' ach Z.</blockquote><br />
outside.<br />
<br />
Coach Z: Are you the gury who girves me thre mirllion dorrlars?<br />
<br />
The person: Ummm.... No.<br />
<br />
You-know-who stuffs Coach Z into the back of his truck. Long-name man drives Coach Z to a local boot camp.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It was a sham after all? What a freaking surprise!</blockquote><br />
Later, at the high-security boot camp place...<br />
<br />
Lutennant: Alright, vollunteers! Listen up! You will be going under intense training and even more intense crawling under barbed wire!<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' ''Intense''.</blockquote><br />
I wi- Hey, where's that funny-talkin guy?<br />
<br />
Coach Z: I'm rigrht herrrrrre!<br />
<br />
Lutennant: Why aren't you wearing the U.S. army's boot camp's clothing?<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It didn't match my eyes.</blockquote><br />
Coach Z: What? U.S. arrrrrmy? Get me ourrta herrre!<br />
<br />
COach Z runs as far away as he can from the boot camp, and ends up back at SSX's house.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' The high-security boot camp place had security so high that Coach Z escaped without the least of a hindrance.<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Because Coach Z ''wasn't a volunteer.''</blockquote></blockquote><br />
Meanwhile, at SSX's computer...<br />
<br />
SSX: Ok, let's see what I can do here. Gir's new computer's kind of weird when it comes to checking email.<br />
<br />
A>Boot_Mail_of_SSX.com<br />
<br />
Dear SSX,<br />
Didn't you used to have some sort of X thing on your head?<br />
Fromly yours,<br />
ChocolateMetal<br />
<br />
A>Boot_text_entering.exe<br />
<br />
A>What? I've always had an X Have you taken a vow of not looking at foreheads?<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' No, he's just taken a vow of not caring.</blockquote><br />
I just spilled invisible paint on it.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Invisible paint that you can't see through.</blockquote><br />
And yes, invisible paint exists. I also don't use my X as much. But it's still awexome. I'm not exactly sure how many powers it contains. I lost count at 15 million.<br />
<br />
Coach Z bursts through the door.<br />
<br />
CZ: Nerver say mirllion agairn!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Mirllior...ner...na. I can't do it. You win this round, Eminem.<br />
<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' I don't think Coach Z could stomach writing multiple "raps" about beating women to death.</blockquote></blockquote><br />
All of a sudden, a huge explosion is heard.<br />
<br />
SSX: Well, this is probably the best time to show that I stil have an X.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' He does so bad on tests that they have to dock him eighteen letters.</blockquote><br />
SSX levitates to the room where the explosion occured. He sees D_R and Teatime lookind<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Loo kind. Loo very kind.</blockquote><br />
around the room.<br />
<br />
SSX: What hppened<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' To the a?</blockquote><br />
in here?<br />
<br />
Teatime: Uhhh.... D_R lit a match, and I burped on it.<br />
<br />
D_R: Yeah. No explosves were invloved.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' But were explosives invloved?</blockquote><br />
D_R uses her telekenectic powers to cover uo a hole in the wall with a drawer.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' Yeah, moving something like a drawer wouldn't shake the floor or anything inconvenient like that.</blockquote><br />
Meanwhile, in HoL's storage closet...<br />
<br />
Poke_Homsar enters the room, and sits down in front of HoL.<br />
<br />
HoL: Hey! get outta here, pudgy! This is my room!<br />
<br />
P_H: I'm just a passing trunkset!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He's probably the most coherent person on the show.</blockquote><br />
HoL: Ugh. I'm not bunking with a stack of white and blue pncakes!<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' This guy easily takes second.</blockquote><br />
P_H: Woaoaoaoah! I'm more than meets the sky!<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in the garage...<br />
<br />
DB walks in to fund his cardboard poses in the trash.<br />
<br />
DB: Ummm, Depressio, why are my works of art in the trash?<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Your works of art are as essential to the trash as the trash bags themselves.<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I feel like you just facelifted a Roger Ebert quote without a suitable punchline set-up.</blockquote></blockquote><br />
Depressio: Because they weren't art!<br />
<br />
DB: Yeah, welll.... Sadmails aren't art, either!<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' And this show is, of course.</blockquote><br />
The trash can smashes into DB's head, and all the poses pour out, along with 4 cans of cool spray.<br />
<br />
DB: Thanks, roll of fat!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Where did you hear my little pet name for your mother?</blockquote><br />
Meanwhile, at SSX's computer...<br />
<br />
SSX walks up to the computer, to find Gir watching on of the many Zim episodes he downloaded.<br />
<br />
SSX: Hey, Gir, can I finish my SSXMail up now?<br />
<br />
After a short pause, Gr turns the volume up.<br />
<blockquote>'''MR. CLOUD:''' GRR WANT LIGHT BOX</blockquote><br />
SSX(Thinking):Maybe I can prove my X is real on Gir...<br />
<br />
A faint shape representing SSX's X begins glowing on SSX's forehead. Gir falls off the chair, and on to the table.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Am I about to witness a rape here?<br />
<blockquote>''{Noxigar sighs, and facepalms}''<br><br />
'''NOXIGAR:''' It sounds so akin to what John normally says on the regular, that I often wonder how he's been able to ''have'' a "persona" in the first place.</blockquote></blockquote><br />
SSX gets on, and continues the email.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That was as anti-climatic as that boot camp escape.</blockquote><br />
A> Well, that pretty much answers your question, EdibleSteel. Tune in next time to see Teatme lodge a pen up Coach Z's nose!<br />
<br />
The paper comes down.</div>Noxigar