https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=RiffText%2FRTOD%2FKirbychu_emails.pie%2F3_TrialsRiffText/RTOD/Kirbychu emails.pie/3 Trials - Revision history2026-06-01T23:08:03ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.28.2https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?title=RiffText/RTOD/Kirbychu_emails.pie/3_Trials&diff=190256&oldid=prevNoxigar: Created page with "== Summary == Some zoo down the road asks Kirbychu what he would rather do out of three options. <blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' 1. Kill yourself. <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:'''..."2016-08-10T23:40:57Z<p>Created page with "== Summary == Some zoo down the road asks Kirbychu what he would rather do out of three options. <blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' 1. Kill yourself. <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:'''..."</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>== Summary ==<br />
Some zoo down the road asks Kirbychu what he would rather do out of three options.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' 1. Kill yourself.<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I think I stopped finding telling people to kill themselves funny when I read various suicide stories a long time ago.<br><br />
'''NAMINE:''' So, you've never found them funny?</blockquote><br />
<br />
2. Kill me 99. Comedy option</blockquote><br />
Cast (in order of appearance): Kirbychu, Strong Mad, Da Huuuuuuudge, Homsar, The King of Town, Homestar Runner, Homeschool Winner.<br />
<br />
Places: Kirbychu's Computer Room, The Field, Da Huuuuuuudge's cage, The Alligator pit, a volcano, The Jail.<br />
<br />
Date: February 24, 2008<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' ''{opens outlook express}'' My laptop's still here and an e-mail's so near.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="email"><br />
Dear atchoo,<br />
:Would you rather dive into a pit of lava, fight off 5 alligators at once, or try and beat strong mad up? please tell me what would happen.<br /><br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br /><br />
That zoo down the street... 977<br />
</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
''{He says bless you after atchoo, and reads the name as "the 977 zoo's down the street".}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Wow. It took 977 zoo's full of people and animals<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why would there be people in cages? They're so difficult to clean up after.</blockquote><br />
to write 1 email. That's kinda depressing, really.<br />
<br />
''{clears screen}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Well Zoo977,<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Zoo977 is well, I presume.</blockquote><br />
they all sound equally terrible, so I'll do them all in reverse order to see the outcome of each one!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Can't you just do them all in regular</blockquote><br />
''{Cut to the field. Strong Mad is there. Kirbychu walks up.}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Hey Strong Mad, want to fight?<br />
<br />
'''STRONG MAD:''' YOU WON'T WIN!<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' How do you know?<br />
<br />
'''STRONG MAD:''' I'M BIGGER!<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' I'll still win.<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I JUST WILL<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' What made that kind of retort funny?</blockquote></blockquote><br />
''{Strong Mad punches Kirbychu, causing him to go flying. He eventually lands on top of Da Huuuuuuudge.}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Well, at least I'm at the zoo.<br />
<br />
''{He gets off of Da Huuuuuuudge and walks to the alligator exhibit}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Okay alligators,<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The alligators are okay, I presume.</blockquote><br />
be prepared to die at the hands of...''{thinking}'' wait, what am I doing? I can't wrestle a pack of alligators. ''{normal}'' ... uh, HOMSAR!<br />
<br />
''{Homsar waddles up to Kirbychu.}''<br />
<br />
'''HOMSAR:''' AAaaAAaaAAaaAA! What is it, Yeller Spike?<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Let's see how he messes this one up.</blockquote><br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' ''{Sigh}'' In you go!<br />
<br />
''{He picks up Homsar and throws him in the alligator pit.}''<br />
<br />
'''HOMSAR:''' AAaaAAaaAAaaAA! I'm the king of all crocodiles!<br />
<br />
''{The alligators suddenly drop dead}''<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That's why you can't touch the king.</blockquote><br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Wow. Just... wow. I guess I should just jump down and take a picture of myself holding a dead alligator It'll<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Totally make up for that missing dot there.</blockquote><br />
look like I did it! ''{He does so}'' Okay, now for the last trial. TO THE VOLCANO!<br />
<br />
''{Cut to a volcano. Kirbychu is standing on the edge of the caldera.}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' 1, 2, 3, GERONIMO! ''{He jumps into the volcano. A splash is heard.}''<br />
<br />
''{Cut back to Kirbychu's computer room. Kirbychu walks in completely burnt and black}''<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Darn. Now you can't use our water fountains.</blockquote><br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' ''{typing slowly}'' Well Zoos 1-977, I did everything you wanted me to do. I'll even upload a picture of me fighting a gator to prove it. ''{He uploads the picture of him and the dead alligator.}'' Well that's the end of my show!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well that's, please come soon.</blockquote><br />
Now to go get...<br />
<br />
''{The King of Town bursts into the room, followed by the Poopsmith dressed as a trooper}''<br />
<br />
'''KING OF TOWN:''' ''{interrupting}'' You're under arrest for killing all of the alligators at FCUSA County Zoo!<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Word travels fast. The KoT travels slower.</blockquote><br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' WHAT! That wasn't me, it was Homsar!<br />
<br />
'''KING OF TOWN:''' Then what's with that picture?<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It was his good twin brother.</blockquote><br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' ...Oh, dang... ''{gets dragged away by the Poopsmith.}''<br />
<br />
''{Cut to a jail. Kirbychu is locked in a cell.}''<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' Whoever sent that e-mail is ''so'' going to pay when I get out!<br />
<br />
''{Homeschool Winner walks up behind Kirbychu.}''<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You better have metal underwear on.<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Is metal underwear a fetish? I hope not.</blockquote></blockquote><br />
'''HOMESCHOOL:''' If you get out, that is.<br />
<br />
'''KIRBYCHU HR'D:''' HELP!!!<br />
<br />
''{The DS comes down. It reads Click here to <s>help break Kirbychu out of jail</s> e-mail Kirbychu}''<br />
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Kirbychu never gets out, and ends up married to Homeschool the next month.<br />
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Why? I'm pretty sure Homeschool's not in jail.</blockquote></blockquote><br />
== Trivia ==<br />
<br />
*This e-mail was updated on December 1st 2009.</div>Noxigar