Noxigar at 21:33, 5 February 2011

2011-02-05T21:33:02Z

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''{cut to the large red room from the final scene in the last episode.}'' 

'''BLUEBRY BULLETS:''' Heinrich! I should've known you were behind all this... 

'''HEINRICH:''' Don't be too hard on yourself, you have a lot of enemies! 

'''NUCLEAR NOID:''' Cut the crap, Heiny. 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Guess it's time for the plot to ''ketchup''.</blockquote>

'''BROOKS JAXXON:''' Yeah, just give us Mu. 

<blockquote>''{Noxigar moos like a cow.}''</blockquote>

''{Charging Chwoka and Greaser come running into the room, huffing and puffing.}'' 

'''CHARGING CHWOKA:''' Hey guys, sorry we're late, we were in the vents and then there was this whole- 

'''GREASER:''' Who's the slimy guy? 

'''HEINRICH:''' Ahh, I see the Armageddon Team has picked up a new member! I was wondering when you were going to replace the dead one... 

'''GREASER:''' Dead one? 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Kid, you were only promoted from K.P. because someone in the platoon died.</blockquote>

'''NUCLEAR NOID:''' You shut your mouth! 

'''HEINRICH:''' Is that anger I sense? Crying for your war buddy? 

'''CHARGING CHWOKA:''' Don't go there. ''I'' even remember that. 

'''BLUEBRY BULLETS:''' I swear to God, if you mention- 

'''HEINRICH:''' What? Mention what? Your dead buddy? 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' OH SHIT SON, IT'S ON!</blockquote>

''{Bluebry Bullets springs forward, slashing with his fists at Heinrich. He picks him up by the collar and throws him into a wall. Something cracks. Heinrich's wounds slowly heal themselves, and he pops his head into place. He then gets up.}'' 

'''HEINRICH:''' Are we done with the games yet? I really don't think your friend Mu is enjoying his current, ah, ''situation''. 

'''DINOMYTE:''' You're telling me where Ma is right now or I will snap your face in four pieces! 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' "Ma, Ma! Where's my Pa?"</blockquote>

'''HEINRICH:''' Why waste your time? Although you are very good at it... 

'''NACHO:''' Just tell us where Mu is, Heinrich, and you're free to go. 

'''HEINRICH:''' I didn't think you negotiated with terrorists! 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Implying they have much of a choice given the scenario.</blockquote>

'''BROOKS JAXXON:''' The terrorist is right, Nacho, we don't negotiate with terrorists. 

'''HEINRICH:''' There's still an annoying protocol guy? I thought I killed him...oh well, another day. 

'''NACHO:''' Listen, Brooks. I've been knee deep in Germans for 6 hours, and I am just sick of it. I'm getting too old for this! 

'''HEINRICH:''' ''{chuckles}'' And the catchphrases! You really are all quite predictable. 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Ba dum tish!</blockquote>

'''DANZAL:''' Yah? Vell, I'm predictinz that youz vill be going to Hell when we're through. 

'''BROOKS JAXXON:''' Now ''that's'' a notion I can get behind! 

'''HEINRICH:''' All of you, just a bunch of walking cliches! 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Note-to-self: In a crappy movie, always root for the antagonists because they are well-written where the protagonist isn't.</blockquote>

'''NACHO:''' Hey, Mr. Gruber, you have no room to talk. 

'''HEINRICH:''' Tick tock tick tock tick tock... 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{singing}'' Tick tock, on the clock, but the party don't stop, no. Woah-ah-oh-ah-oh-OH, Woah-ah-oh-ah-oh-OH.</blockquote>

'''NUCLEAR NOID:''' Alright, everybody, shut it! Now, for the last time, where are you keeping Mu? 

'''HEINRICH:''' Who ever said I was keeping your comrade prisoner? 

'''DANZAL:''' It vaz very heavily implied. 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Implying anything was implied.</blockquote>

'''CHARGING CHWOKA:''' Yeah, I don't think anybody didn't get that idea. 

'''HEINRICH:''' Well, you know what happens when you make an assumption... 

''{Heinrich pulls out a small remote and presses a button on it. The center of the room explodes in flame, making wall of fire that divides them, snarling and flaring. Heinrich punches out the glass window.}'' 

'''HEINRICH:''' You end up trapped in a collapsing building at your arch nemesis's hand! 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' No, no, no. That wasn't it! It was- Bah, who cares?</blockquote>

''{Heinrich laughs and jumps from the window. Dinomyte starts cursing loudly.}'' 

'''CHARGING CHWOKA:''' Yeah, I agree with the drunk, we're screwed unless somebody has a plan. Nacho, you're old, you have experience. 

'''NACHO:''' You get experience from stuff that happens, and does it look like I've been dead in a burning building with the ceiling about to collapse on me? 

'''BROOKS JAXXON:''' Noid, what's the plan? 

'''NUCLEAR NOID:''' There isn't one. Stick it out. Anything we get, walk it off. 

'''GREASER:''' You want us to just sit here and let the roof fall on us?! 

'''NUCLEAR NOID:''' You got a better plan? 

'''MU:''' ''{voice}'' I think I have one! 

''{Flame extinguisher shoots out at the flames and contains them. A helicopter hovers outside, with Mu (not visibly) inside.}'' 

'''MU:''' Now everybody get their asses in before I have to bury you! 

''{Everybody runs inside the helicopter. Cut to the inside.}'' 

'''BLUEBRY BULLETS:''' Mu, are you alright? 

'''MU:''' Why wouldn't I be? 

'''GREASER:''' The whole reason we went to Hell Plaza was to bust you out! 

'''MU:''' I was never in Hell Plaza...who did you see? 

'''BROOKS JAXXON:''' Heinrich. 

'''MU:''' Dammit! I didn't think we were through with him. He must've hacked through the lines and sent a fake hologram to lure you here... 

'''BLUEBRY BULLETS:''' I don't care how he did it, I just want him to pay. Be sure to look up cloning technology, we think the Germans might have some. 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' It was never explicitly asserted that they had cloning tech throughout the '''entire''' episode. Holograms are '''not''' clones!</blockquote>

'''MU:''' Sure thing. 

''{Mu opens a door and walks through. Greaser follows him. The tiny room is almost all a computer, which Mu is typing at.}'' 

'''GREASER:''' Hey, Mu, got a question. 

'''MU:''' Shoot. 

'''GREASER:''' Was there another person on the team? Like, before me? 

''{Mu looks up from typing and swivels his chair around.}'' 

'''MU:''' How do you know about Colt? 

'''GREASER:''' Colt? Is that his name? Heinrich, that guy, he was talking about killing or torturing somebody and the others were really mad and- 

'''MU:''' Listen. You don't need to know about Colt. You don't want to know about Colt. Tucker and Briggs quit because of what happened...you don't need it, rook. 

'''GREASER:''' ...alright then. 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Kid, sometimes minding your own business will save your ass.</blockquote>

''{cut to the skyline of Los Angeles. A helicopter flies away from a crumbling and burning building, off into the horizon. A few seconds later, the words "THE END" come up on the screen.}'' 

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Only two more legit episodes to go. But, around four parts of this thing left. I'm going to go eat lunch and come back to watch the rest.</blockquote>

RiffText/NukeNoid/3 - Revision history

Noxigar at 21:33, 5 February 2011