RiffText/MFT3K/The Adventures of Domo and T Pedo/cool - Revision history

Noxigar at 13:36, 17 December 2012

2012-12-17T13:36:21Z

Noxigar at 13:35, 17 December 2012

2012-12-17T13:35:00Z

Noxigar at 13:21, 17 December 2012

2012-12-17T13:21:38Z

Noxigar: Look up "GameGrl (Original 1993 Mix)" 4nd l1st3n to th4t during th3 3nt1re r1ff b3for3 you 3v3n TH1NK 4bout g1v1ng m3 your s4ss

2012-12-17T13:20:55Z

Look up "GameGrl (Original 1993 Mix)" 4nd l1st3n to th4t during th3 3nt1re r1ff b3for3 you 3v3n TH1NK 4bout g1v1ng m3 your s4ss

Show changes

Noxigar: LET'S DO THIS until Lex and Chaos return to being online again

2012-12-17T12:35:23Z

LET'S DO THIS until Lex and Chaos return to being online again

New page

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Okay, Skub, I'm giving you plenty of forewarning here: The following is everything bad about Records of Bell and Bell Quest, but stripped of any intention of being read and enjoyed by other people. It switches between terrible concepts at a schizophrenic pace. It is probably intentionally bad, but it's unintentionally bad at being intentionally bad ANYWAY. ''{Skub begins to preemptively dry heave, but Chwoka stops him.}'' '''CHWOKA:''' However, I want you to refrain from vomiting as much as possible. Save some for the rest of us this time, okay? '''SKUB:''' ''{swallowing a big load}''<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' THATS WHAT SHE DID</blockquote> I'll... I'll try.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' ''{is being carried by Lemon}'' OH GOD PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO TO AMERICA JAPAN IS MY HOME DAMNIT

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''- Bellstrom'' '''BLUEBRY:''' the animation is so ''weird'' and there isnt any cartoon sex '''NACHOMAN:''' this became shitty faster than anything I've ever read</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' Baby.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' baby baby oooooooh</blockquote>

''{Cut to: America with T Pedo and Bell}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Aww, what a cute couple!</blockquote>





'''IM A BELL:''' Look, I know you don't want to leave,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' hahaha yeah right</blockquote>

but you're scaring our cats.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "I mean, no other reasons. I'm certainly okay with you having sex with minors in my house!"</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' But-

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Butts are for horses!</blockquote>

''{Bell roundhouse kicks T Pedo''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' chunk norriss...........................</blockquote>

''onto the street in Japan where the airplane to America is.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' This is somehow worse than I remembered it being.</blockquote>

'''Lemon and Domo are there}''

'''DOMO:''' O HAI THAR.

<blockquote class="mft3k">''{Skub gags a little bit.}''</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' Domo, I think your friend landed on my shoe. Anyways,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' nobody talks like this</blockquote>

who the hell are you?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{sing-screaming}'' AAAAAAAAAA-WHO-THE-FUCK-AH-YOU</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' Oh hey! I'm Timothy Alvin Pedo.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "But my friends call me 'creep'"</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' HAY WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Which is ''definitely'' the right thing to say to a man who admits to you that he's a registered sex offender.</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' OKAY

'''DOMO:''' LAWL LET'S SHARE A SMOOTHIE

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' This is what should replace waterboarding.</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' SORRY, I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM THE SMOOTHIE SHOP

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "ALSO ANY AND ALL PUBLIC SCHOOLS SO, UH, NOT A WHOLE LOT OF OPTIONS FOR ME"</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' OKAY HAVE THIS INVISIBLE SUIT ''{puts an invisible suit on T Pedo, but it malfunctions and he can't take it off}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr '''NACHOMAN:''' I think Chwoka's broken. '''SKUB:''' Don't worry, it's happened before to me. I was a robot car at the time, but still.</blockquote>

AND PLUS THIS IS A JAPANESE SMOOTHIE SOP

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' So, you weren't talking about the same smoothie shop he was banned from?</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' ...THEN WHY DID I NEED THE SUIT GET IT OFF I WANNA BE SEEN AT THE SOP

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Congratulations for consistency, I guess? '''BLUEBRY:''' i actually laughed at this, no joke</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' Why don't you just TAKE it off?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' 'Cause I want what I like and I like what I see— '''SKUB:''' You're not f '''SKUB:''' '''unny'''</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' BECAUSE I LIKE YELLING

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Hahaha, ''really'' now?</blockquote>

''{tries to pull the suit off}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I'm sorry, we didn't order the Breakaway model, try pulling the zipper or something.</blockquote>

IT WON'T COME OFF AND OH GOD THERE'S A RAT IN IT

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Haha, enough joking around. Take off the suit.</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' OH HOLY HELL

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' No seriously, just take off the suit already.</blockquote>

''{whacks the rat''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' lemon is a mob boss, whichever rat he says dies, dies.</blockquote>

''but misses}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''Try anything that's not just yanking on it. Anything.''</blockquote>

HOLD ON I'LL PUT SOME WATER ON YOU

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''That doesn't count how would that even help.'' Come on, there's got to be a better way out! Just think! Use a knife or something that could actually ''help!'' It's like the characters read the premise and decided to just go with it. '''BLUEBRY:''' hold up a sec i gotta put some water on my mouth</blockquote>

''{throws some water, but it gets worse''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' The Adventures of Domo and T Pedo: "but it gets worse"</blockquote>

''and makes T Pedo fall into the water and drown}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' The water he just threw? '''BLUEBRY:''' "then he died the end."</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' HOLY ASS DIPPED IN DAMN ACID. ''{jumps into the water and does CPR on T Pedo}''

'''T PEDO:''' BLARGH! ''{claws extend from the suit, and he starts scratching up Domo's face}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' so um is anything happening other than two guys shouting</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' AHHHHH HOLY HELL IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THIS ROOM

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Is there a lawyer in tha house?</blockquote>

'''JAPANESE LADY:''' Watashi gozen ato dokutoru!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Moe moe baby</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' ONE THAT SPEAKS ENGLISH?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Hawkeye Pierce, at your service."</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:'''''{mouth grows giant}'' WAIT! I CAN USE MAH MARY SUE POWERS! STICK THESE ''{pulls out two Babelfish}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Fr-from where? '''BLUEBRY:''' from mary sue</blockquote>

BABBLEFEYESH IN YOUR EARS.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' If there's one thing that unfunny nerds like it's DOUGLAS, ADAMS</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' OKAY. ''{sticks them into his ears}'' SAY IT AGAIN.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' MAKE IT FUNKY, MAKE IT FUNKY, MAKE IT FUNKY</blockquote>

'''LADY:''' Watashi gozen ato dokutoru!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' So you are a doctor?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' That's ridiculous, women can't be doctors! You must be the nurse, go find me a real doctor.</blockquote>

'''LADY:''' Sayou.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ev'rybody sayou '''EV'RYBODY:''' TWO! '''CHWOKA:''' flash! two times! '''GRANDMASTER FLASH:''' g-goodt, good times</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' She said yes.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' We're getting married!!!</blockquote>

So, since you are a docter,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Docter, docter, give me the news, I got a bad case of spelling blues.</blockquote>

My friends drowning. DO CPR.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Meanwhile, the Baywatch lifeguards are running to Pedo's rescue, off-screen, and have been running for the last 15 minutes. '''BLUEBRY:''' "I sense a disturbance in glorious Nippon!~"</blockquote>

'''LADY:''' Watashi iyoku. ''{Leans onto T Pedo and does CPR}''

'''DOMO:''' She said "I will".

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NOID:''' that's one of my favorite radiohead songs</blockquote>

''{takes out Bablefish}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' This dialogue is a mess. It's like I'm... ''Lost In Translation''!!!!! '''BILL MURRAY:''' hey guys 'sup</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Good.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' no, trust me kid. nothing about this is good</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' I have a seahorse in America.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I've heard of summer homes and bank accounts in other nations, but this is ridiculous!!!</blockquote>

Let's go before the plane leaves. ''{a plane to america with the American flag on it pulls in}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' But but but they were already in America '''NACHOMAN:''' why do they capitalize America in one place and don't in another fuggin commies</blockquote>

Just on time. Let's go.

''{they all walk in}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...Now what?

'''LEMON:''' Sit down, Captain Obvious.

''{they sit down and enjoy some peanuts}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' They all choke and die. The end. ''{NachoMan gets up to leave but is sat back down by Skub. A single tear rolls down both of their cheeks}''</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' Wait, if I'm invisible, how did that doctor... Nevermind.

'''DOMO:''' Oh crap. She could have been making "sexy sex sex" if she missed. ''{shutter}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Not ''sex''! '''CHWOKA:''' just for the shutterbuggs</blockquote>

Well, at least she was hot.

'''T PEDO:''' And asian.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' as if a stupid baka western woman would be able to be hot</blockquote>

''{somehow wellfaces, even though he's invisible}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Chwoka I ''know'' you asked me not to throw up but this is getting really hard. Not even halfway through this goddamn transcript and I already wanna dump stomach all over this theater floor. '''CHWOKA:''' ''{shaking in rage, trying not to vomit himself}'' Conserrvation, Skub. Vomit is not a renewable resource. ''{Chwoka dry heaves}''</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' Those girls are hot. YEAAAHH.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' '''''WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS''''' '''LIL WAYNE:''' YEAH</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' And everything's smaller in Asia.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' ahahahahahaha</blockquote>

Therefore, nobody will make fun of your... I think you get my point.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "My 2-inch when aroused point."</blockquote>

''{The airplane crashes}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' '''''Minimalism!'''''</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' ... ''{sarcastic}'' Well, THAT was an interesting crash.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "WE'RE ALL DYING BACK HERE OH MY GODDDD" '''NACHOMAN:''' "Well that's neat!" '''SKUB:''' "OH MY GODDDDDD WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EAT THESE OTHER PEOPLE TO SURVIVE" '''NACHOMAN:''' "Neato!"</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Quiet, T Pedo! We ran out of lampshades

<blockquote class="mft3k">''{Chwoka starts blinking really really really fast and staring at the word "lampshade"}''</blockquote>

back when we were on the Island of Tropus!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' tropus of capricorn '''BILL MURRAY:''' I went to the Island of Tropus once. Beautiful place, beautiful ladies. Anyway, when I got back I discovered I had accidentally left my talent behind, and that's how both the ''Garfield'' movies got made.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' ...How were we the only one on this plane?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Yes, I would like some plane tickets. I'll take all the ones on the left side, and all the ones on the right side. A private jet? Oh no, I don't think I ''have'' that kind of money. '''BLUEBRY:''' you just got '''I N C E P T E D'''</blockquote>

And how did we just land on an island?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Because you crashed.</blockquote>

Wait... ''{reads plane}'' '''Plane to Amercia!?'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' BUT IT SAID IN THE ACTION BRACKETS '''BUT IT SAID IN THE ACTION BRACKETS'''</blockquote>

Amercia must be the name of the island we're on OH CRAP IS THAT A SHARK

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{nasally}'' Land shark! '''BILL MURRAY:''' That's it, I'm out of here. ''{Bill Murray up and leaves.}'' '''BLUEBRY:''' the shark that killed his partner</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' O DER.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' rrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR</blockquote>

BUT YOU ARE DOMO YOU CAN EAT THE SHARK WITH YOUR DOMO-MOUTH

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Or, in English, his Thank-mouth. Must come in handy around November.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' GOOD POINT GEET IN MAH BELLEH SHARK ''{eats shark in one bite}''

'''T PEDO:''' BAWWWW WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE SOME FOR ME I'M A DOMO-THING TOO APPARENTLY

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' yeah what are you?</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' THERE'S ONE ON YOUR LEG. DIG IN.

'''T PEDO:''' ...THAT'S NOT MY LEG. ... ''{passes out}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' but they JUST MADE A SMALL PENIS JOKE come ONNNNNNNNNNN</blockquote>

''{The doctor lady rushes in and brings him to life}''

'''T PEDO:''' ...GET THE GODDAMN SHARK OFF MY DI-

''{passes out again}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' haha he was going to say a dirty word that's the joke</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' ...DAMNIT T PEDO THERE IS NO SHARK ANYWHERE ON YOUR BODY. IT'S LAYING NEXT TO YOU.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' but then why did he pass out</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' ...OH OKAY

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' And now he's conscious again. This show... this fucking show...</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' NOW DIG IN OR I'LL EAT IT.

'''T PEDO:''' OKAY, MOM ''{eats the shark, which looks really disturbing considering he's invisible}''

''{The island they're on explodes.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "Our vacation to Bikini Atoll was, in retrospect, not very well timed."</blockquote>

''Domo, T pedo, Lemon, and Bell somehow survive.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">''{Chwoka becomes an alcoholic, and starts coming home late, instead staying at the bar and wondering where it all went wrong as he cries into his Jack Daniels, but then he remembers this and cries even harder and beats his wife when he gets home.}''</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' OW... I GUESS

''{Pan out to see a man with only one eye in his underwear dancing with some TNT}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' i definitely saw this in a nyquil dream</blockquote>

'''MAN:''' WEEEEE

'''T PEDO:''' GO STICK THAT TNT UP YOUR ASS

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' How do you even write this? This is... this is ''unholy''.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' Who the hell are you talking to?

''{The man disappears and music from Phantom of the Opera plays}''

'''T PEDO:''' ...BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' <big><big><big>'''ERIK FORCES CHRISTINE TO MARRY HIM OR HE'LL BLOW UP THE THEATER, SHE KISSES HIM TO STOP HIS PLOT AND HE BECOMES OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION AT HIS FIRST KISS AND LETS HER GO'''</big></big></big> '''BLUEBRY:''' spoiler alert ^^^</blockquote>

''{Michael Myers comes out of nowhere}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Hey guys, I've been culturally irrelevant since Austin Powers!" '''BLUEBRY:''' chwoka he's talking about the person from the halloween movies. but youre onto something...</blockquote>

'''MICHAEL MYERS:''' ... Hey guys. I'm here to kill... ''{looks at card}'' Timothy Alvin Pedo, is it?

''{T Pedo walks behind Michael Myers and is unseen because he's invisible}''

'''T PEDO:''' SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' LONG LIVE THE GLORIOUS SOUTH '''NACHOMAN:''' ''{unenthusiastically}'' texas hell yeah</blockquote>

''{pulls out a butcher knife, starts hacking Michael Myers into pieces}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' what the FUCK</blockquote>

''{Freddy Krueger comes out of nowhere}''

'''T PEDO:''' ...I'M NOT A CHILDRENS AND I'M AWAKE HAHAHA YOU CAN'T KILL ME

'''FREDDY:''' ... AW DAMNIT. ''{Warps away}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Okay, at this point I've just given up on riffing. Seriously, what the FUCK?</blockquote>

''{Jason Voorhees comes in}''

'''T PEDO:''' GO BACK TO YOUR LAKE, VOORHEES.

''{A single tear drops down Jason's face.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' He only wanted to go to prom with you! Way to break his heart.</blockquote>

''He disappears. Leatherface appears}''

'''T PEDO:''' ...You know your chainsaw is on fire, right?

'''LEATHERFACE:''' ...Is this the Evilcon? I heard Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers would be here.

'''T PEDO:''' ...Oh. Sorry, I thought they were trying to kill me. Umm... ''{points to the pile of body parts}'' That's what's left of Myers. I scared the other two off.

'''LEATHERFACE:''' HI MICHAEL HI MICHAEL

'''REMAINS OF MICHAEL MYERS:''' GET OUT OF HERE BACKSEAT KILLER.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' He's like a backseat driver, always telling him when, where, and how to slice up his victims.</blockquote>

''{Leatherface warps away and Domo feeds Michael Myers to that crazy man}''

'''LEMON:''' AHAHA NICE GOING DOMO

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "HIGH FIVE BROSKIHEIMS"</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' I'D WELLFACE BUT MY HEAD APPEARS TO HAVE IMPLODED

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' There is no way. There is no way I can get through this goddamn episode.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' HEY LOOK IT'S A SUPER POWERED TRAMPOLINETM AND A PLANE RIGHT OVER IT. SHOULD WE JUMP, MACINTOSH?

''{Domo pulls out a Macintosh computer labeled "Big Mac" and hugs it}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' "Do you guys want to see pictures of my fixie"</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' BLAAAGH MACS ''{pulls out an axe, chops up the Mac}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' That bracketed action sounds like the beginning to a sweet freestyle rap. '''CHWOKA:''' Pull out the axe, chop up the Mac, smokin up the crack cuz I got big stacks. '''BLUEBRY:''' word</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED BIG MAC!

''{Domo pulls out an invincible Macintosh also labeled Big Mac}''

'''IM A BELL:''' BLAAAGH INVISIBLE MACS ''{pulls out an invisible axe, chops up the invisible Mac}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Well, at least it isn't "unseeable."</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' ... IT WAS INVINCIBLE NOT INVISIBLE YOU IDIOT.

'''IM A BELL:''' ...BLAAAGH INVINCIBLE MACS ''{pulls out an axe that can destroy anything and attempts to chop up the invincible Mac.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' I feel like repetition is the comedic strategy that the makers of DomoPedo are banking on. Unfortunately, they were wrong and it was terrible. '''CHWOKA:''' What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object? Who cares?</blockquote>

''{THE ALMIGHTY APOCALYPSE occurs.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' IT'S ARMAGEDDON AND BELL WAS SPARED FROM THE RAPTURE</blockquote>

''Domo, T Pedo, Lemon, and Bell crawl into a secret chamber labeled "APOCALYPSE SAFTEY! hidden in sand and dust.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' It's not actually hidden in sand and dust, it's just written on the door that it is.</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' HEY I HAVE AN IDEA. ''{pulls out a calculator, types in "80085". it looks like "BOOBS".

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''The characters die in the fiery explosion of the Apocalypse, their final thoughts being how bitchin' that BOOBS thing was.}''</blockquote>

''T Pedo can fly now}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' wh '''CHWOKA:''' wh</blockquote>

'''LEMON:''' BOOBS.

'''T PEDO:''' BOOBS.

'''DOMO:''' BOOBS.

'''IM A BELL:''' ...BOOBS DAMNIT.

''{Everyone grows boobs}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' W-what '''CHWOKA:''' THE ADVENTURES OF DOMO AND T PEDO: "W-what"</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' ...DAAAAAAANG.

'''DOMO:''' ...LOOK AT THOSE HONKERS ON T PEDO. Oh wait he's invisible.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' WHY CAN'T THIS SHOW CARRY INTERNAL LOGIC FOR ONE SPLIT SECOND</blockquote>

Carry on. HEY BELL CHECK IF THE APOCALYPSE IS OVER AFTER 5 SECONDS.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' wow. I literally have nothing to say about any of this. I'm just staring blankly as I scroll down the page waiting for something to jump out at me, and nothing does. it's all just the same random wacky humor in all caps, and apparently it's trying to be bad on purpose, but it's just BAD. like, I am seriously getting a headache right now. Even shit like Spirit, where it was long as hell and Japany and stupid and cliche, at least there was stuff to make fun of! '''CHWOKA:''' Nacho, you're rambli-- '''NACHOMAN:''' riffing on this is like, it's like picking on a retard. I just-- I, what is this supposed to be? What is happening here? Did they really think any of this stuff was funny? I mean they must have, but god! Holy I mean my god jesus this is sickeningly awful. '''NACHOMAN:''' I... I don't know if I can go on with this. You know what I would rather do than read this? I would rather have every single piece of literature I ever read from now on be horrible furry scat porn. I would rather lose my ability to comprehend written text. I would sacrifice a newborn child if it meant that horrible writing like this would never be allowed to exist. Okay, I... I'm done. Continue.</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Umm... ''{walks out, comes back in with his head charred}'' Nope. It's still goin' on.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''There's A Riot Goin' On''</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' ... We'll be in here for a while.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Hey, speaking of, if there on a deserted island, why is there an underground shelter?</blockquote>

So we should put stuff in it.

''{A Pacman machine, an HD TV, a shrine dedicated to Domo III (1852-1901 we will never forget), an infinite amount of pies in a pantry, and an EAIaEASS (Emergency Apocalypse Inside an Emergency Apocalypse Shelter Shelter) appear.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "Thank God Brookstone was still open!"</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' Why would we need a-

''{A spider drops down from the ceiling. Its mouth grows huge, and many, many {{well}}s spew out of it}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' '''SKUB:''' '''SKUB:''' '''SKUB:''' '''SKUB:''' '''SKUB:''' '''SKUB:'''aaaaaaaaaa</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' OH GOD

'''LEMON:''' QUICK! INTO THE EMERGENCY APOCALYPSE INSIDE AN EMERGENCY APOCALYPSE SHELTER SHELTER!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' This is ''exactly'' how they would say it on Bonus Stage. Just throwing that out there.</blockquote>

''{They run into the shelter. Every piece of furniture from the other shelter is in here and there are no spiders

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''that aren't hungry for the flesh of sinners''</blockquote>

.}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...Please tell me there isn't a Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Shelter Shelter Shelter.

'''DOMO:''' Hm... ''{looks down for a second}'' Yes.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Damn it, Domo, is Bell gonna have to slap a bitch up again?</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Urgh. I hope we don't have to use it.

''{A hurricane starts.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ...inside. Okay, just go wtih it. Whatever.</blockquote>

''They climb into the shelter. It looks just like the other ones, minus the spider and hurricanes.}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...I shouldn't mention the Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Inside An Emergency Apocalypse Shelter Shelter Shelter Shelter, but I will. ''{wellfaces}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Repetition is the most sophisticated form of comedy there is. '''SKUB:''' '''''THE ACTION NEVER S''''' '''CHWOKA:''' Truly, the next Catch-22 or Arrested Development.</blockquote>

''{A cage falls out of the sky, onto Im a bell.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ...inside. There's a sky, inside, three basement levels dowm, when the first one shouldn't exist in the first place, because it's on a deserted island nobody's ever been on before. It's like this story was written by the guy from ''Memento'' and he can't look back at what he's already written, so he has to keep placing reminders about where the characters are and what they're doing or else he'll forget ande move onto something entirely different. Deep breathes, self, deep breathes... Okay, let's move on.</blockquote>

''Domo then pulls out Big Mac the Macintosh Computer and turns him on.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' BUT THEY DESTROYED THAT TWICE. I WILL MURDER YOU. I WILL MURDER YOU. I WILL MURDER YOU WITH A RUSTY KNIFE THAT I'VE ALREADY USED TO MURDER YOU WITH. THEY WILL HAVE TO CONVICT ME OF DOUBLE HOMICIDE WHEN I'M DONE WITH JUST YOU.</blockquote>

''Various clicking sounds are heard. Soon, Domo springs up.}''

'''DOMO:''' ...THE APOCALYPSE IS OVER AFTER AN HOUR.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' "THATS WHAT IT SAYS ON MY NEWSFEED AT LEAST"</blockquote>

YAY. ... Now how do we get up, Big Mac?

'''BIG MAC:''' ''{robotic voice}'' Well, you can use your boobs to make the hurricane and spider distracted.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' I honestly thought that breasts were for, you know, sustaining infant health through the passing of vital nutrients and fat, but no I guess they're for inclement weather and insect distraction.</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' YOU RULE. ''{turns off Big Mac the Macintosh Computer and takes Bell out of the cage. Everyone's boobs grow.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' <big><big><big>''HOW''</big></big></big></blockquote>

''They put on attractive wigs and go of the shelter and out of the shelter and out of the shelter, unharmed. The Apocalypse is now over. Yay.}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...WHY DO I STILL HAVE BOOBS

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Please say it's all just a dream and the whole thing is inside a snowglobe and the entire show is just a product of some autistic kid's stirring thoughts. '''CHWOKA:''' Well, Bell's basically fufilling the roles of Sarah AND Bell at the same time. Now that's efficency!</blockquote>

''{The island somehow regrows. A plain for America''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Ah yes, the rolling American midwestern plains. I refuse to believe this makes any less sense than the entirety of midwestern America pulling onto an island.</blockquote>

''pulls in. They get on. After the plain is blocked by clouds,''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' See? Clearly not a typo. They spelled it the same ''twice''.</blockquote>

''it fades to T Pedo and Bell's house. Domo, Lemon, Bell, and T Pedo walk in. T Pedo picks up some mail saying "TO T PEDO, FROM PEDOBEAR (YOUR COUSIN)". T Pedo opens it and reads it out loud.}''

'''T PEDO:''' "DEAR T PEDO, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? I AM FINE. I HAVE KIDNAPPED MANY SMALL CHILDREN. PLEASE DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. -PB".

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Oh you!!! '''CHWOKA:''' Woop woop '''BLUEBRY:''' that's tha sound of tha police '''CHWOKA:''' Woop woop '''BLUEBRY:''' that's tha sound of tha beast</blockquote>

''{Lemon pulls out a cell phone.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Why didn't he use that when he was on the island? '''SKUB:''' Chwoka, you really need to stop expecting things to make any sense at all from line-to-line.</blockquote>

''T Pedo knocks it out of his hands.}''

'''T PEDO:''' HE SAID DON'T DAMMIT

'''HARUHI SUZUMIYA:''' Domo, I am your father.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' See what I mean, Chwoka? No sense at all.</blockquote>

'''ICHIGO KUROSAKI:''' And I am your mother.

'''NARUTO UZUMAKI:''' And I am your cousin.

'''DOMO:''' O RLY?

'''EVERYONE:''' YA RLY!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Can I have it like that? '''NACHOMAN:''' You got it like that.</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' NO WAI

''{Pan out to heaven. Chuck Norris wellfaces. Everyone laughs.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' That's literally one of the most vile things I've ever read. '''CHWOKA:''' THE ADVENTURES OF DOMO AND T PEDO: "Literally one of the most vile things I've ever read."</blockquote>

'''T PEDO:''' ...That's not funny.

''{Chuck Norris starts crying.}''

'''DOMO:''' WHY CAN'T WE STOP LAUGHING AHAHAHAHA

'''ICHIGO:'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' My name is Ichigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to bleeeuaugh.</blockquote>

Can I kill you?

'''DOMO:''' ...NOT ME KILL THAT DALEK.

''{Ichigo rushes off and kills a Dalek.}''

'''HARUHI:''' As it turns out, we were lying.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' About what? Make SENSE, show! Make SENSE!</blockquote>

'{rips skin off, revealing a large snake}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' finally, the reptilian conspiracy ''revealed''. now go back to your snake-mother.</blockquote>

''{Boss music plays. Domo hits the Snake (I'm calling it Snakezon H4R0H1)''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' H3H3H3H3H3H3H3</blockquote>

''with a giant sword.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' It's like my favorite video games~</blockquote>

'''DOMO:''' You go girl!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Can I have it like that? '''NACHOMAN:''' You got it like that.</blockquote>

''{Pause}''

'''DOMO:''' ... UM WHAT WHY DID I SAY THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO

''{Snakezon H4R0H1 summons a Playboy bunny and kisses him.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ...''him?'' Do these people know what a Playboy bunny is? '''SKUB:''' A note to our readers: Please do not answer that.</blockquote>

''Kisses fly around the room. One hits Bell, costing 10 damage.}''

'''SNAKEZON H4R0H1:''' You suck Domo!

''{T Pedo uses WELLFACE ATTACK. Critical Hit! -50 damage!}''

'''T PEDO:''' A-iggght!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{fonz}'' Eyyyyyyyy!</blockquote>

''{Snakezon H4R0H1 uses IT'S A TRAP on Lemon! SUPER AFFECTIVE!''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' i have super affective disorder</blockquote>

''-200 damage! Lemon is knocked out!}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT! MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!</blockquote>

'''SNAKEZON:''' Yay!

'''LEMON:''' Wh-whyyyy m-m-meeee...

''{Domo uses Y SO SRS''

<blockquote class="mft3k">''{Chwoka and Skub simultaneously vomit, then look at each other.}'' '''CHWOKA:''' Okay... just that once.</blockquote>

''on Snakezon! Super affective! -100 damage! Snakezon is struggling!}''

'''DOMO:''' Yee-haw!

''{T pedo uses MORE THAN JUST A PIECE OF GUM!''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I don't even get this.</blockquote>

''Knock-out! -900 damage! Snakezon is PURE DEAD!''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{Dave Foley}'' Pure evil. PURE... Evil.</blockquote>

''Fade out to a stage. T pedo is probably there, but we don't know because he's invisible.}''

'''T PEDO:''' This song... 
Was made by MEEEE... 
I star on this show... 
Along with DOMO, LEMON, AND BELLLL... 
Yes we do, on a SHOW PRODUCED BY THE SOS BRIGADE! 

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Is that what Bellon is calling themselves now?</blockquote>

Cue epic guitar solo HEEE-EEER! 
Oh, and, Pedobear is referenced SOMETIMES.... 
Yes he does... 
YEEEEAH! 
I'll go munching on a Philly Burger pretty soon... 
We are the champions... of the world! 
Oh also, directed by Marc Summers! 
Fuh-hen! FIN!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' I need a cold shower.</blockquote>

@@ Line 571: / Line 571: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ...inside. There's a sky, inside, three basement levels dowm, when the first one shouldn't exist in the first place, because it's on a deserted island nobody's ever been on before. It's like this story was written by the guy from ''Memento'' and he can't look back at what he's already written, so he has to keep placing reminders about where the characters are and what they're doing or else he'll forget ande move onto something entirely different. Deep breathes, self, deep breathes... Okay, let's move on.</blockquote>
-<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Chwoka, your rambli-</blockquote>
+<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Chwoka, you're rambli-</blockquote>
 ''Domo then pulls out Big Mac the Macintosh Computer and turns him on.''

@@ Line 369: / Line 369: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' How do you even write this? This is... this is ''unholy''.</blockquote>
-<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I remember this "man with only one eye in his underwear scene and can't help but L4UGH UNCONTROLLABLY.</blockquote>
+<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I remember this "man with only one eye in his underwear" scene and can't help but L4UGH UNCONTROLLABLY.</blockquote>
 '''DOMO:''' Who the hell are you talking to?

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Okay, Skub, I'm giving you plenty of forewarning here: The following is everything bad about Records of Bell and Bell Quest, but stripped of any intention of being read and enjoyed by other people. It switches between terrible concepts at a schizophrenic pace. It is probably intentionally bad, but it's unintentionally bad at being intentionally bad ANYWAY.<br/>''{Skub begins to preemptively dry heave, but Chwoka stops him.}''<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' However, I want you to refrain from vomiting as much as possible. Save some for the rest of us this time, okay?<br/>'''SKUB:''' ''{swallowing a big load}''<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' THATS WHAT SHE DID</blockquote> I'll... I'll try.</blockquote>
-<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' 4W Y34H, WH4T'S UP, R1FF3RS? 1'M R1FFGRL, 4ND 1'M H3R3 TO SHOW YOU THAT GRLS CAN R1FF, TOO!-<br>
+<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' 4W Y34H, WH4T'S UP, R1FF3RS? 1'M R1FFGRL, 4ND 1'M H3R3 TO SHOW YOU TH4T GRLS C4N R1FF, TOO!-<br>
 '''NOXIGAR:''' I can't keep this up. Maybe Lex or Chaos can make a RiffGirl Rap, but I can't.<br>
 '''NOXIGAR:''' Although Chwoka earns brownie points for being nice to Skullbuggy with all these pointers EVEN THOUGH HE WAS PRESENT FOR BOTH BELL QUEST AND RECORDS OF BELL and PROBABLY GOT THE IMPRESSION YOU JUST GAVE HIM</blockquote>