RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/22 - Revision history

Noxigar: RIFF

2011-11-04T02:27:05Z

RIFF

Noxigar: Before I riff the hell out of this episode... I shall...uhm... nevermind

2011-11-04T02:11:13Z

Before I riff the hell out of this episode... I shall...uhm... nevermind

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== Summary ==
Don Skull starts a controversial radio show.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' "I hope our president ''fails.''" '''SKULLB:''' "Don't get me started on those nappy-headed hoes" '''CHWOKA:''' "I'd like to strangle every kitten personally."</blockquote>

'''Cast: Im a bell, Sarah, Mature Bling, Tracy, Don Skull, Howard Stern, Hugh Hefner, Harvey Birdman, Yog Sothoth Bellstrom, Bailiff, Foghorn Leghorn,'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' I say I say I say, boy, this is awful</blockquote>

'''Jury Member'''

'''Places: Bling's Living Room, Radio Station, Courtroom'''

'''Episode Information: 404-Soundboards Make the Dumbest of Jokes Seem Like Comedy Gold'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' once i saw a borat soundboard and i made him say "borat is evil" it was '''awesome'''</blockquote>

'''Insult: random foreshadowing'''

'''Credit Joke: The Brothers Chaps'''
== Transcript ==
''{open to Bling's living room. Bell is sitting on the couch}''

'''IM A BELL:'''''{humming Tetris Type A}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' This one time I played Tetris too long and I started seeing pieces drop when I closed my eyes. It's like with this, and how when I close my eyes I see nothing but suck.</blockquote>

...Huh? Oh. Umm... There's no cold open this time. ...G-go away.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' Gladly!</blockquote>

''{cue theme song, cut back to the living room. Everyone is there except for Don Skull}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...Hey, you know what would be fun?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' everything but this?</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' What?

'''IM A BELL:''' If we all-

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' - commited group suicide?</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:'''''{drives in}'' HEY, GUESS WHAT!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Despite the fact that he's a car, he can still derail just as well.</blockquote>

'''MATURE BLING:''' ...What?

'''DON SKULL:''' I'm gonna host a radio talk show!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "I had literally no reason to do so, but whatever!"</blockquote>

'''TRACY:''' ...So?

'''DON SKULL:''' Well, isn't that great?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' television killed radio</blockquote>

'''TRACY:''' ...No. This episode is likely being to as horrible as The Cleveland Show was,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' ...what '''SKULLB:''' NO DON'T YOU GET IT IT IS THE FUTURE AND TRASRKHADGFASFKALHF</blockquote>

before it was canceled five minutes into the premiere.

'''DON SKULL:''' What makes you say that?

'''TRACY:''' Cleveland was the least popular main character on Family Guy, and likely so are you.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Oh now I wonder why ''that'' would be Mr. Ku Klux Klanime</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' ...Don't you even want to know what it's called?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Nope.</blockquote>

'''MATURE BLING:''' Sure. Amuse us.

'''DON SKULL:''' Skull In The Morning.

''{OOC: Yeah, I see wut u did thar, SkullB}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' wait no i don't get it '''SKULLB:''' But I didn't even do anything</blockquote>

'''MATURE BLING:''' ...That's about the most BORING name for a radio show I've EVER HEARD.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "NPR? Now THAT'S a RADIO staTION!"</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' Quiet, you. Anyways, I need someone to help with reading the news. I was thinking Sarah.

'''SARAH:''' ...Why me?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Because God hates you. Amen. </blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' Why do you think?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' because of ''misogyny'' '''SKULLB:''' Women have no place in are workplace</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' ...It's radio, dumbass.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' you've obviously never seen the that 70s show episode with "hot donna"</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' ...What's your point?

'''SARAH:''' I-Nevermind.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' New from Apple: The iNevermind. '''SKULLB:''' "Yah trick now go make some sandwiches"</blockquote>

''{cut to a radio station.''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Is RoB trying to be Fraiser?</blockquote>

''Don Skull is doing the show}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Hey hey hey HEY let's keep this PG-13</blockquote>

'''SARAH:'''''{offscreen, pissed}'' This just in, Don Skull is a idiotic pervert with a heart of black.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Now is there something ''wrong'' with that, honkey</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' Oh yeah? Well Sarah, YOU are a- ''{long bleep}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' oh dear</blockquote>

''{pan over to Sarah}''

'''SARAH:''' ...I QUIT. ''{walks off}''

'''DON SKULL:''' Screw you, ya ''{bleep}''!

'''SARAH:'''''{offscreen}'' Shut up!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Records of Bell: Misogyny Never Tasted So Sweet</blockquote>

''{cut to the next day}''

'''DON SKULL:''' Hey, welcome to Skull In The Morning! Today we have two people here who I consider the two greatest living m-

''{cut to Sarah, listening to the broadcast and holding a cup of coffee}''

'''DON SKULL:'''''{from radio}'' -en here on Terra...

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' wait whoa was that a reference to latin and not to japan? '''SKULLB:''' You're giving him WAY too much credit here, Blue.</blockquote>

'''SARAH:'''''{takes a sip of coffee}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Well, you see, it has to do with her mouth. That's why it's an entire line of dialogue.</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:'''''{from radio}'' ...Howard Stern and Hugh Hefner!

'''SARAH:'''''{cue spit take}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "Spit take? You're out in five!"</blockquote>

''{OOC: Yeah, apparently those two are still alive after a few hundred years. Oh, and, don't say anything about factual errors involving Howard Stern. Don Skull is not going to be a clone of Don Imus in this episode.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' yeah that reference got dated fast '''SKULLB:''' I love how he presumes we care</blockquote>

''{cut back to the station}''

'''HOWARD STERN:''' Hey, it's nice to be here.

'''HUGH HEFNER:''' Yeah, I love Skull In The Morning.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' isn't this like, the second broadcast? '''SKULLB:''' Don't question Hef when he's done SO MUCH FOR YOU</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' Hey, thanks! And, I see Hugh has brought two beautiful ladies with him!

'''HUGH HEFNER:''' It's too bad this is radio.

'''DON SKULL:''' Huh? Why?

'''HUGH HEFNER:''' ??? ''{looks at Howard}''

'''HOWARD STERN:'''''{to Hugh}'' Just ignore it.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Oh Howard if only that was so easy</blockquote>

'''HUGH HEFNER:''' 'Kay.

'''DON SKULL:''' Anyways, what do you think of my theory that-

''{cut back to Sarah. Now she has no drink, and Bell is there}''

'''DON SKULL:'''''{from radio}'' -if you two fused, you would form a being greater and more powerful than God and Chuck Norris combined?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' chuck norris got old too '''SKULLB:''' Heck if this thing's timeline is correct then he should be dead.</blockquote>

'''SARAH:'''''{spit take on Bell}''

'''IM A BELL:'''''{notices Sarah has no drink}'' ...Ew.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "EW COOTIES GET AWAY ''{passionate sex}''"</blockquote>

''{cut back to the station}''

'''HOWARD STERN:''' In my personal opinion, I think you're a brain-dead marionette puppet.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' AND THE CORPORATE WHITE MALE IS PULLING THE STRINGS</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' Well, technically that's true. I'm manmade, and have no brain. ...Er, wait. Was that a compliment?

'''HUGH HEFNER:''' ...You are the most SEXIST, STUPID, AND IGNORANT PIECE OF JUNK ''THAT HAS EVER EXISTED''!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' wait, i thought you loved his show '''SKULLB:''' And that's coming from Hugh Hef-</blockquote>

'''HOWARD STERN:'''''{wide eyes}'' ...

'''DON SKULL:''' And this is coming from HUGH HEFNER! ''{presses a button}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' OH I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU TOOK MY JOKE</blockquote>

''{canned laughter}''

'''HUGH HEFNER:''' ...God, I hate you. C'mon, girls. ''{walks out with the two women he brought}'' C'mon, Howard!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' this-what</blockquote>

'''HOWARD STERN:''' Right! ''{follows Hugh}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Wait, since when is Howard Hugh's lackey?</blockquote>

'''DON SKULL:''' ...Crap. Um... Well, that's it for today's show. Bye...

''{cue montage of Don Skull yelling at random people on his show. He appears to be getting drunker and drunker. Finally, this happens}''

'''DON SKULL:'''''{to a woman}'' YOU, sir, are a member of the endangered species of lagomorph called the-''{falls over}''

''{OOC: I dare ya to guess what he was going to call her!}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' the fire ant '''SKULLB:''' The beeyotch</blockquote>

''{record scratch. Cut to a courtroom. One one side, there is Harvey Birdman''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' what '''SKULLB:''' No no no you are NOT ruining that for me</blockquote>

''and Don Skull. On the other, there is Sarah and Im a bell}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Hey, Sarah? Who'd you get as our lawyer?

'''SARAH:''' Don't worry.

''{the courtroom door opens. A man walks out, but is obscured by shadows}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...You got HIM as our lawyer?!

'''SARAH:''' Yeah. Is there a problem?

'''IM A BELL:''' YES there's a problem! He's-

''{camera spins around to show the shadowed lawyer. Light hits him, revealing he is Yog Sothoth Bellstrom}''

'''IM A BELL:'''''{offscreen}'' -my older brother.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' family discount! '''SKULLB:''' THE GOAT WITH A THOUSAND MOUTHS IA! IA!</blockquote>

'''YOG:''' So, who am I-

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Egg Yog.</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' Us!

'''YOG:''' Huh? Oh. Okay-''{sees Bell, is amused}'' You? On the PLAINTIFF'S side? Please tell me this is a joke.

'''SARAH:''' No. We're trying to shut down a rather adult radio show.

'''YOG:''' ... ''{laughing}'' Okay, this HAS to be a prank! Where are the hidden cameras?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' there, there, and there!</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' What's so funny?

'''YOG:''' Bell is the biggest pervert I have ever known! And that's kinda creepy coming from his brother.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Is there such a thing as conversational dissonance?</blockquote>

Why would he be trying to-

'''IM A BELL:''' One; She's my wife. Two; He insulted her on air.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww '''SKULLB:''' bawwwwwwwwww</blockquote>

'''YOG:''' ...Okay, okay, this has gone FAR enough. Bell couldn't get a girl if his life depended on it!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' man speaks the truth '''SKULLB:''' Good God he's said something right</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' What about my-

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "-unborn baby?!"</blockquote>

'''YOG:''' That was an accident!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' See that's why you use protection</blockquote>

besides, she died less than a year after you married her! But seriously, this is just stupid. This is obviously a joke. I'm outta here.

'''IM A BELL:''' ...IT'S NOT A ''{BLEEP}''ING JOKE, JACKASS.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Just a regular one!"</blockquote>

'''YOG:''' ...Oh. Umm... Sorry about that.

'''IM A BELL:''' Shut up and sit down.

'''YOG:''' ...Right. ''{sits down}''

'''BAILIFF:''' All rise.

''{everybody stands up}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "Now sit down again."</blockquote>

'''BAILIFF:''' Honorable Judge Leghorn presiding.

''{Foghorn Leghorn walks in wearing a robe and sits down in the bench}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' ''{sighs}''</blockquote>

'''FOGHORN:''' Y'all may be seated.

''{everyone sits down}''

'''FOGHORN:''' So, what's yer problem?

'''SARAH:''' Your honor, my husband and I are trying to shut down a radio show. Skull In The Morning.

'''FOGHORN:''' Skull'n The Mornin'? I LIKE that!

'''SARAH:''' ...This is gonna be a LONG case...

''{cut to a few hours later}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' seems like a short case to me :S</blockquote>

'''FOGHORN:''' Has that there jury reached a verdict?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "Your honor, we find Tom Robinson guilty of all charges." '''CHWOKA:''' Wow. That was a classy joke! '''SKULLB:''' Oops, sorry. ANIME ANIME STUPID KID ''{raspberry}''</blockquote>

'''JURY MEMBER:''' We have your honor.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' And we're not giving him back!</blockquote>

We find the defendant... Guilty.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' wait, do we even know the charge '''SKULLB:''' Woman bawwwwwwed and purple me has to pay???</blockquote>

'''FOGHORN:''' Hrm... Well, as much as it pains me to say this, Skull'n The Mornin' must be canceled immediately. ''{bangs gavel}''

'''SARAH:''' We did it! WE DID IT! HAHA!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' He said they had to cancel Skull'n The Mornin', not Skull in the Morning.</blockquote>

'''YOG:''' Yes. Yes we did.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{Ben Stein impersonation}'' I am so happy right now I could cry.</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Well, congratulations, brother. You've earned my respect. For the next few minutes at least.

'''DON SKULL:'''''{sighs, drives out}''

''{fade to black. cue credits}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' toot</blockquote>

@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' I say I say I say, boy, this is awful</blockquote>
 '''Jury Member'''
@@ Line 41: / Line 42: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' - commited group suicide?</blockquote>
 '''DON SKULL:'''''{drives in}'' HEY, GUESS WHAT!
@@ Line 61: / Line 63: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' ...what<br/>'''SKULLB:''' NO DON'T YOU GET IT IT IS THE FUTURE AND TRASRKHADGFASFKALHF</blockquote>
 before it was canceled five minutes into the premiere.
@@ Line 81: / Line 84: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' wait no i don't get it<br/>'''SKULLB:''' But I didn't even do anything</blockquote>
 '''MATURE BLING:''' ...That's about the most BORING name for a radio show I've EVER HEARD.
@@ Line 95: / Line 99: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' because of ''misogyny''<br/>'''SKULLB:''' Women have no place in are workplace</blockquote>
 '''SARAH:''' ...It's radio, dumbass.
@@ Line 113: / Line 118: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Hey hey hey HEY let's keep this PG-13</blockquote>
 '''SARAH:'''''{offscreen, pissed}'' This just in, Don Skull is a idiotic pervert with a heart of black.
@@ Line 163: / Line 169: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' isn't this like, the second broadcast?<br/>'''SKULLB:''' Don't question Hef when he's done SO MUCH FOR YOU</blockquote>
 '''DON SKULL:''' Hey, thanks! And, I see Hugh has brought two beautiful ladies with him!
@@ Line 191: / Line 198: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "EW COOTIES GET AWAY ''{passionate sex}''"</blockquote>
 ''{cut back to the station}''
@@ Line 203: / Line 211: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' wait, i thought you loved his show<br/>'''SKULLB:''' And that's coming from Hugh Hef-</blockquote>
 '''HOWARD STERN:'''''{wide eyes}'' ...
@@ Line 209: / Line 218: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' OH I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU TOOK MY JOKE</blockquote>
 ''{canned laughter}''
@@ Line 219: / Line 229: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Wait, since when is Howard Hugh's lackey?</blockquote>
 '''DON SKULL:''' ...Crap. Um... Well, that's it for today's show. Bye...
@@ Line 257: / Line 268: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Egg Yog.</blockquote>
 '''SARAH:''' Us!
@@ Line 283: / Line 295: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' man speaks the truth<br/>'''SKULLB:''' Good God he's said something right</blockquote>
 '''IM A BELL:''' What about my-
@@ Line 315: / Line 328: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' ''{sighs}''</blockquote>
 '''FOGHORN:''' Y'all may be seated.
@@ Line 331: / Line 345: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' seems like a short case to me :S</blockquote>
 '''FOGHORN:''' Has that there jury reached a verdict?
@@ Line 339: / Line 354: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' And we're not giving him back!</blockquote>
 We find the defendant... Guilty.
@@ Line 349: / Line 365: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' He said they had to cancel Skull'n The Mornin', not Skull in the Morning.</blockquote>
 '''YOG:''' Yes. Yes we did.
@@ Line 361: / Line 378: @@
 <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' toot</blockquote>