Noxigar at 22:00, 14 February 2011

2011-02-14T22:00:41Z

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== Summary ==
Malifact & Malifact find Bell.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' ''{singing}'' We're Marley and Marleeeeey...</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{singing}'' Our hearts were painted ''black''</blockquote>

'''Cast: Tracy, Im a bell, Mature Bling, Sarah, Don Skull, Cloaked Figure 1, Cloaked Figure 2, Chaos'''

'''Places: Bling's Living Room, Tokyo, Outside Of Bling's House'''

'''Episode Information: 306-Always Inform Your Superiors That You're Moving Halfway Across The World Lest They Find You
'''

'''Insult: unimaginative insult'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' the usual, eh</blockquote>

'''Credit Joke: NO'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' '''GIRLS ALLOWED'''</blockquote>

== Transcript ==
''{open to Bling's living room. Bell and Tracy are there}''

'''TRACY:''' Hey, dad.

'''IM A BELL:'''''{monotone}'' Insert many, many innuendos here.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' you first</blockquote>

'''TRACY:''' ...No.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' They don't even care any more. '''SKULLB:''' ''I'' don't even care any more.</blockquote>

''{cue opening theme. cut back to Bling's living room. Everyone's there except MB. He then walks in, holding some mail}''

'''MATURE BLING:''' Hmm... Bills, bills, bills, latest issue of Penthouse... ''{throws to Tracy}'' H-Manga catalog... ''{squints}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Instant eye problems!</blockquote>

Hellish Miniskirts Monthly?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' For when you just don't feel guilty enough wearing a mini-skirt.</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' Yo.

'''MATURE BLING:'''''{throws to Sarah}'' There's one more letter. ''{reads envelope}'' It's for Bell. ''{throws to Bell}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' The envelope actually ''did'' say "THIS IS FOR BELL" on it. Damndest thing.</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Oh god. Malifact & Malifact. I completely forgot. Well, it's too late for me to retcon

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' I don't-I don't even know what this is supposed to be</blockquote>

in another paid vacation. ''{opens letter, reading}'' "We're here."

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' WE'RE QUEER</blockquote>

''{stops}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{old-timey voice}'' WE'RE HERE STOP ''{clears throat}''</blockquote>

What an odd thing to-

''{two cloaked figures break down the door. Chaos walks in}''

'''MATURE BLING:''' ...You're paying for that.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' They're ''desperately'' trying to be witty but it just comes off as them being assholes. '''BLUEBRY:''' Uh I think they're just assholes '''SKULLB:''' Yeah, you've got a point.</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' Imothy Bellstrom, Sarah McAllister, Tracy Bellstrom, you three are hereby arrested by the Malifact & Malifact Police.

'''IM A BELL:''' Police? Since when did you have police?

'''CHAOS:''' We always had them.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' GESTAPO</blockquote>

We just don't tell our employees about them.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' NA DANN HALT DIE FRESSE UND KOMME MIT ''KOMME MIT''</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Well, uhh... What's the charge?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' $8.50. '''SKULLB:''' Negative.</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' You know what the bleeding charge is,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' my hospital billed me a "bleeding charge" once ''{RIMSHOT}''</blockquote>

you idiot. You three were only going to stay on vacation for a month. It is against our regulations to extend a vacation without prior announcement.

'''IM A BELL:''' Just for the record, we only did this because I married Sarah.

'''CHAOS:''' Personal relationship with your coworkers. Also against the rules.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' That's the most nonsensical rule I have ever heard. '''SKULLB:''' Oh, you're complaining about ''that''. '''CHWOKA:''' Just wait.</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I'd be more puzzled as to how Sarah and Bell coincidentally worked at the same job and ''didn't know it'' than I would be about some idiotic rule.</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' I... Uhh... ''{kicks Chaos in the nuts, runs out the door}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Reality-bending powers. REALITY-BENDING POWERS. '''SKULLB:''' Huh. I guess you were right.</blockquote>

Y'all stay here! DS, come with me!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Bell only cares about his video games. '''SKULLB:''' LEAVE THE PSP it's a piece of crud</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' OBJECTION! 
'''NOXIGAR:''' Wait, what was I objecting? 
''{Crickets}'' 
'''NOXIGAR:''' Nevermind.</blockquote>

''{Don Skull follows Bell}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' "I never told ''you'' to follow me!"</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' Why you... Guards! Make sure they don't escape! ''{runs after Bell}''

'''CLOAKED FIGURE 1:'''''{grabs Tracy}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' An entire line of dialogue for an action. '''SKULLB:''' COME ON</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Hey, Raven, say "Nevermore". 
'''NOXIGAR:''' Quoth the Raven, 
'''NOXIGAR:''' "Fuck you".</blockquote>

'''TRACY:''' I could kill you, but I don't want to stain the walls with blood as poor as yours.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' don't make fun of poor people '''SKULLB:''' HA HA HA! HE'S SO WITTY !!</blockquote>

'''CLOAKED FIGURE 2:'''''{reaches for Sarah}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' NO MEANS ''NO''</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' HEY!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{singing}'' HEY HEY! THAT'S WHAT I SAY!</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' And what you say is only for horses.</blockquote>

''{kicks Cloaked Figure 2 in the stomach}''

'''CLOAKED FIGURE 2:'''''{grabs Sarah by the upper arm, grunts}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''{moaning}'' braiiins...BRAAAAAINS! '''SKULLB:''' Oh, my. He's quite randy.</blockquote>

'''SARAH:''' Eh-DAMMIT, CLICHES!!!!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Bell's best friend turns against him in this installment! And he's not going down without a fight!!! '''SKULLB:''' Can they make it out of the all-women bathhouse before Subspace erupts?!?!</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' You mean to tell me ''you'' guys haven't had absurdly stupid plots? How about that one plot involving a ''hat'' being the center of attention?</blockquote>

''{cut to a street inside Tokyo. Bell runs in}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Don Skull! Flight mode!

'''DON SKULL:''' Wh-''{transforms into a pair of metal''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' \m/</blockquote>

''wings with his skull on the back. they latch onto Bell}'' EHH?!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' YOU HOSERS</blockquote>

''{the golden Bass flies in and transforms into a metaL''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' \m/ SO METAL \m/ '''CHWOKA:''' Well, he ''is'' a bass.</blockquote>

''exoskeleton on Bell. The skull upon the wings detaches and attaches to Bell's face}''

'''IM A BELL:''' This is another piece of technology I designed within your body. It's called the Flightskull.

'''DON SKULL'S VOICE:'''''{echoey}'' Huh. Can ''I'' use it?

'''IM A BELL:''' It requires a body. I'll make a metal

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' OH MY GOD \MMMMMMMMMMMM/</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Someone explain to me what \m/ is. Because I don't.</blockquote>

dummy when this is over.

'''DON SKULL'S VOICE:''' Okay, then.

''{Chaos warps in behind Bell}''

'''CHAOS:''' Zanmato.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' w-what?</blockquote>

''{preforms a zanmato''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' DOMO ARIGATO, MR. ZANAMTO</blockquote>

''on Bell}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' Is-Is this another innuendo?</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Tell me what ''bukkake'' means.</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' ...Ow? Was that supposed to hurt or something?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Did... did he just get raped?</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' You smartass.

'''IM A BELL:''' I know.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' Great, a self-aware douche.</blockquote>

''{right arm becomes a trigger gauge. Bell flies into the air, charges it, and fires it at Chaos}''

'''CHAOS:'''''{dodges}'' It's not THAT easy!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' ''{singing}'' It's not un-uuuu-su-AL to be stabbed at any time...</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{singing}'' It's not unusual to find references of mediocre artists...</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' Oh YEAH? ''{flies at Chaos, stabs him in the face}''

'''CHAOS:''' ... ''{pulls trigger gauge out of face}'' ...That was the stupidest move I have ever seen.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' yeah, that pretty much applies to everything here</blockquote>

'''IM A BELL:''' It was to distract you from THIS! ''{fires a charged blast from the trigger gauge right into Chaos' face, temporarily destroying his head.'''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' <big><big>'''''WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU JESUS CHRIST'''''</big></big></blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{singing}'' Shout, shout 
LET IT ALL OUT 
These are the things I can do without 
COME ON 
I'm talking to you 
COME ON 
</blockquote>

''Bell flies off}''

'''CHAOS:'''''{head reforms}'' You've won this round, Bell, but I'll be back!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' head reforms... "i'll be back"... this is another terminator copy</blockquote>

''{cut to the outside of Bling's house. Bel''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.</blockquote>

''lands and opens the door}''

'''IM A BELL:''' I'm ba-OH MY GOD!

''{cut to inside the house. The two cloaked figures are mutilated, the walls are covered in blood, and Mature Bling and Tracy are laying on the ground, severely injured. Sarah is nowhere to be found}''

'''IM A BELL:''' What the hell happened here?!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKULLB:''' I'm thinking her period! ''{rimshot}'' '''BLUEBRY:''' yeah that was f***ing disgusting</blockquote>

'''MATURE BLING:''' Yakuza... Kidnapped Sarah... Nintendo

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' aaaaaaaaand all credibility flew out the window</blockquote>

Inc. Building... ''{falls unconscious}''

''{the words "to be continued..." appear onscreen. cue credits}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' A TWO-PARTER of Records of Bell? I have never been so excited.</blockquote>
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Of course you have, you're not fooling anyone.</blockquote>

RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/18 - Revision history

Noxigar at 22:00, 14 February 2011