Noxigar: I'm back~

2011-02-06T23:06:49Z

I'm back~

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''{Fade in to the theater}''

'''CHWOKA:''' ARGLE BARGLE that was horrible!
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Ah, the times where I can sympathize with the statement.</blockquote>

'''SKULLB:''' I am dead on the inside

'''CHWOKA:''' What do you think the worst part is?

'''SKULLB:''' That's like trying to pick the best-looking clump of crap in a horse pen.

''{The yellow light lights. The curtains open. Dr. Brainfreeze is standing there.}''

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' Hello, rats.

'''CHWOKA:''' Hello, ''Newman''.

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' The new Robot Master is Newman? Aw, hell. They've dun goofed for the last-Oh wait, this isn't Megaman.</blockquote>

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' How did you know my first name?

'''SKULLB:''' I dunno. Newman's a bit of a douchey name.

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' You can't say that on television!

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' '''OBJECTION!'''<br>
'''NOXIGAR:''' They can!<br>
</blockquote>

'''SKULLB:''' Wh-

''{SkullB is doused with green slime.}''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' SURE IS NICKOLODEON IN THERE.</blockquote>

'''SKULLB:''' If this stuff is radioactive so help me God.

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' You're a robot, it doesn't make much difference. Besides, this gives you a perfect opportunity to test out my Derraddiating Shower and that foamy soap.

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{cough}''De-radiating.''{cough}'' Damn it, where are my cough drops?</blockquote>

'''SKULLB:''' yey foamy soap BUT I DIGRESS! Why are you holding us here, creepy frosty man?

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY! YOUR GRAMMAR IS JUST AS HIDEOUS AS YOUR VOCABULARY!</blockquote>

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' If I find the worst piece of writing, I can kill anyone who thinks it is bad, thus dooming the human race! You are one group of many.

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''Fascist piece of shit''</blockquote>

'''CHWOKA:''' So, why are you talking to us?

''{Dr. Brainfreeze slams a large cardboard box on the table.}''

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' You will make puppets. I need to see what kind of effect this has on your minds. Wait, where is Bluebry?

'''CHWOKA:''' Taking the Polar Plunge.

''{SkullB uses his +5 Potion of Scissordry to create a small puppet.}''

'''SKULLB:''' I made a cat!'

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY!'</blockquote>

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' Bling is seeping into your brain...

'''CHWOKA:''' Is that Froompsy the somewhat dead cat?

'''SKULLB:''' No, it's Oompsy the almost dead cat. Good guess, though!

'''CHWOKA:''' Still stressed over the Froompsy fiasco, eh?

'''SKULLB:''' ... ''{sobbing}'' YE-E-E-ES

''{SkullB wipes the tears from his optic sockets.}''

'''SKULLB:''' I need a big glass of Ve-zhe-rot to help me forget.

''{Chwoka makes a puppet from a paper bag. The puppet is a wine bottle labeled "Vegerot". He hands it to SkullB.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Oh, thank you... HEY! This isn't Vegerot! This is cheap knock-off Vegerot! I want mine straight from the vineyard, damnit!
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Because we definitely have a vineyard!</blockquote>

''{Chwoka draws a grape bunch on a different bag, then tears it up and stuffs it inside the Vegerot bag.}''

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' This is getting ridiculous.

'''SKULLB:''' ... So should we get back to the theater now?

'''DR. BRAINFREEZE:''' We still need to see what Bluebry does.

''{fade to commercials}''

''{fade in. Chwoka is standing, hands behind is back. The cardboard box has been made into a makeshift table.}''

'''CHWOKA:''' Many of the characters in this program are utterly useless - or so it would seem! Bluebry, Skully, and I have composed a puppet show about what those seemingly non-existent characters are doing in the meantime.

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Cool story, bro.</blockquote>

With...

''{Chwoka raises his hands, to reveal Homestar and Ebeneezer puppets}''

'''CHWOKA:''' ...''puppets!''

''{Chwoka crouches down under the box, and all the puppets raise}''

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Homeschool}'' I'm so torn. I can't decide which SPOOK CLIFF I'm going to jump off of!

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{as Homestar}'' This is boring. I don't know why I ''{pause for thought}'' came with them.

'''BLUEBRY:''' ''{as Ebeneezer}'' Who the hell am I?

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Homeschool}'' I am... I am unsure. Perhaps you are a vengeful spirit???

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{as Homsar}'' DaAaAaAaAaA! You're a lanky prayin' mant-issssss maaaaAAAAAn...
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I forgot I was the only person to make Homsar in character, and was congratulated by Im a bell on this notion alone.</blockquote>

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Neo-Stinko-Whatever}'' I think they forgot about us, guys!!!

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{as Homestar}'' Nobody shall forget about us! Let's make everyone do what WE want them to do!

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Homeschool}'' Yeah! I think that we should harm them! ''{breaking character}'' No, seriously, I'd like to ram a stick covered in fire ants right down this Bell guy's throat.

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{as Homestar}'' Don't forget Badstar! We should prolong their current suffering, just to teach them a lesson! ''{as Homsar}'' DaAaAaAa! I'm two zeroes and a sevennnnnnn...

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Neo-Stinkomech}'' I have legs! I should kick them! In their ''{pause for thought}''
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ASS</blockquote>

butt!
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY!</blockquote>

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{as Homsar}'' DaAaAaA! I'll take the high road... ''{as Homestar}'' I agree with Homsar - we should simply manipulate them into doing our dirty work ''for'' us!

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Homeschool}'' Yes, indeed! I'm apparently the smart one, so I'll make a hovercraft?

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{as Homestar}'' No, make a mind-control ray!!!!!!!

'''SKULLB:''' ''{as Homeschool}'' OKAY

''{SkullB takes out a small contraption. It sparks and catches the Homeschool puppet on fire.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Woah, woah, woah, fire, fire, fire.

'''CHWOKA:''' Speaking of things that end in -ire, how are you holding that puppet when your hands are tires?

'''SKULLB:''' Bubble gum. That's how. I kinda stick it to the tires.

'''CHWOKA:''' well, lucky thing then - bubble gum deletes fire!

''{The fire ceases to exist}''
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' THE ACTION STOPS</blockquote>

'''BLUEBRY:''' Hey guys, I'm going to say a line every now and then to make sure we don't have characters that say nothing. What fic am I in?

'''CHWOKA:''' MFT3k Host Segment 2 Episode 1!

'''BLUEBRY:''' No no, Bell Quest! ''{goes back to obscurity until a few chapters ahead}''

'''COMMERCIAL SIGN:''' ''{flashing}'' Commercials commencing

'''CHWOKA:''' ''{turned to the camera}'' We'll be right back.
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I'd rather you didn't come back.</blockquote>

''{fade out}''

RiffText/MFT3K/Bell Quest/Segment2 - Revision history

Noxigar: I'm back~