Noxigar: Created page with "== Summary == Amidst terrorist threats, Jose gets more than he bargained for.
'''NAMINE:''' Amidst confirmed rumours of Dan and Lex trying to replace me with Vani..."

2015-12-05T21:48:53Z

Created page with "== Summary == Amidst terrorist threats, Jose gets more than he bargained for. <blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Amidst confirmed rumours of Dan and Lex trying to replace me with Vani..."

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== Summary ==
Amidst terrorist threats, Jose gets more than he bargained for.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Amidst confirmed rumours of Dan and Lex trying to replace me with Vanilla Ice, I get more than I bargained for.</blockquote>

== Transcript ==

''{Open to a dark office lit by lone desk lamp. Jose is seated alone in an office chair smoking a cigarette}''

'''JOSE:''' (v/o) Much has changed in the past two years.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' So, you've gone the Gainax route. 
'''LEX:''' Good thing, or bad? 
'''NAMINE:''' Bad. 
''{Short pause.}'' 
'''LEX:''' I see.</blockquote>

''{Jose pulls open a curtain, revealing a porthole looking over the vast emptiness of space.}''

'''JOSE:''' (v/o) Civil War. El Pueblo de Cuerno de Carnero wanted their 15 minutes of fame. They wanted 1 billion frayed Spacebux injected to their Mexicredit account. And they'd do anything for it.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Looks like I'm going to have to go to El Pueblo de Cuerno de Carnero to settle the score.</blockquote>

''{Pans to newspaper clipping on wall. "SPACE MEXICAN GOVERNMENT RECIEVES TERRORIST THREATS"}''

'''JOSE:''' (v/o) I don't negotiate with terrorists. But they won.

''{Newspaper clipping, "WEALTHY POLISH IMMIGRANT CHAOS MALIFACTOVICH ASSASSINATED IN SPACEMEX CASINO"}''

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Malifactovich? 
'''LEX:''' Rolling with the punches helps you not ask too much of the plot. What little plot there is, at least. 
''{Namine shrugs.}'' 
'''NAMINE:''' Very well.</blockquote>

'''JOSE:''' (v/o) They took Chaos first. The new guy. And then the rest.

''{Clippings flash in order of murder. "MATHEMATICIAN NOXIGAR GUADALUPE FOUND COMATOSE IN SPACEMEX ALLEY", "TRUST FUND KOOK LEXON DARKHEART FOUND DEAD, SUSPECTED SUICIDE BECAUSE HE'S CRAZY", "PLUMBING CEO CD-I MARIO DEAD"}''

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Convenient. Bloody convenient. 
'''LEX:''' I thought you were going to say "incorrigible." 
'''NAMINE:''' What? Why?</blockquote>

'''JOSE:''' (v/o) At the end, it was me, AVGN, D'arque, and Honeydew. They saved the worst for us. Honeydew got thrown in the middle of an asteroid belt. D'arque was dropped from a helicopter into a volcano. AVGN... my SON... kidnapped unless I paid the billion. Presumably, they killed him. I wouldn't know, because they put me here.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' I'm sure Mr. Poop-on-Game would be on the news if he died.</blockquote>

''{Jose opens a drawer and pulls out a handgun.}''

'''JOSE:''' I hope he outlives me.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' He might. Bugs Bunny might also be screwing your son's wife. 
'''LEX:''' How do you know about Bugs? 
'''NAMINE:''' I have approximate knowledge of many things. 
''{Short pause.}'' 
'''LEX:''' Noxigar told you, didn't he?</blockquote>

''{Cut to a view outside, uprooted office room floating through space. A gunshot is heard. Fade to black.}''

The End.

''{It is revealed that this is not actually the end, as news reporters flock to the scene and open the door cautiously, hearing the gunshot echo through space. They find Jose shooting a gun into the floor.}''

'''JOSE:''' Thank god you guys came! I'm moving to Space USA!

'''SHELDON COOPER:''' Bazoiple!

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Oh, that's just swell. So I have to travel to Space USA for answers.</blockquote>

RiffText/Jose/s1e02 - Revision history

Noxigar: Created page with "== Summary == Amidst terrorist threats, Jose gets more than he bargained for. '''NAMINE:''' Amidst confirmed rumours of Dan and Lex trying to replace me with Vani..."

Noxigar: Created page with "== Summary == Amidst terrorist threats, Jose gets more than he bargained for.
'''NAMINE:''' Amidst confirmed rumours of Dan and Lex trying to replace me with Vani..."