Noxigar: Easiest. Riff. Ever.

2012-12-17T22:23:27Z

Easiest. Riff. Ever.

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The school student school gets a rise in popularity.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Followed by a steady decline, and then stagnance once enough of the School Student School consists of about two, three people a day on average, maybe four active people each week tops.</blockquote>

== Movie ==

''{JCM walks to the Homestar Runner Fanstuff School. It is nothing but a door. The door has a note on it.}''

'''JCM:''' "Closed for the purge." Oh, come on! I've been gone for a month, now!

''{JCM tears the note off the door and another note behind it is revealed.}''

'''JCM:''' "You don't have to be so bitter."

''{JCM sighs and walks offscreen.}''

'''JCM:''' Now where am I supposed to go?

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Prance?<br>
'''NAMINE:''' You could be a star in Prance, since School User School treats you almost as poorly as your parents.</blockquote>

''{JCM walks past the school student school with a sign saying "Here!" in front of it. JCM doesn't notice.}''

'''JCM:''' What can be a good replacement for the fanstuff school until after the purge?

''{JCM walks past a sign saying "You just passed it, moron". He doesn't notice that, either.}''

'''JCM:''' If only-

''{JCM walks into a pole with a sign saying "GO TO THE SCHOOL FREAKIN' STUDENT SCHOOL!" JCM falls onto the ground and the sign falls onto his face.}''

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' And now we have plot.</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' Well, you don't have to yell.

''{Cut to the school student school. JCM walks in.}''

'''JCM:''' Hmm, this place seems trustworthy. Oh, look, a snack machine!

''{JCM runs to the vending machine and puts a dollar into the slot. A note comes out.}''

'''JCM:''' "Hahafail"...

''{Cut to the School Student School auditorium. JCM walks in.}''

'''JCM:''' It seems that this place has become a copy of the fanstuff school. I like it!

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' And that's why you like School User School!</blockquote>

'''COLOR PRINTER:''' ''{offscreen}'' Who are you talking to?

''{Zoom out to show Color Printer sitting in a chair next to JCM.}''

'''JCM:''' You? There's no one better to talk to than a returning oldie, right?

''{Color Printer rolls his eyes and scoots offscreen.}''

'''JCM:''' Now, I wonder where the principal of all this is.

''{Super Sam walks onto the stage.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Hello, everyone, it's me, the principal of the school! And my little co-builder.

''{Super Sam takes out Clamburger. It immediately flies to JCM and bites him where his nose would be.}''

'''JCM:''' Who would've known that the truth hurts?

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' If this were a Hannah-Barbera cartoon, you could justify that sentence. Since this isn't...</blockquote>

''{JCM faints and the Clamburger jumps back to Super Sam.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Nice to meet you, new student!

''{Cut to the hallway. JCM walks down it.}''

'''JCM:''' Time to meet the new teachers! Now, let's see-

''{JCM walks past classrooms with signs saying "Mr. Bluefox", "Mr. Lexon", and "Mr. Scythe".}''

'''JCM:''' Those names look familiar. Maybe Mr. Sam will know what's going on.

''{JCM walks down the hall and sees a sign above the door next to the principal's office saying "Mr. Evil".}''

'''JCM:''' Hey, I know that name from somewhere too! But where?

''{Aussie Evil comes out of the room with an Aldi bag.}''

'''AUSSIE:''' Who are you?

'''JCM:''' My name's JCM. Spelled J-C-M.

'''AUSSIE:''' Your parents must hate you.

'''JCM:''' Hey, what's the bag for?

'''AUSSIE:''' I'm holding it for Super Sam. He says he has some unfinished business to take care of.

''{Cut to Aldi. Super Sam walks to the cash register with a receipt and large box.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Excuse me, sir, I'd like a refund for this box of Aldi Brand Cola.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' HSRFWiki product placement, Batman!</blockquote>

'''CASHIER:''' ''{Napoleon Dynamite accent}'' ...Why?

'''SUPER SAM:''' Because, I specifically asked for Aldi Brand ''Diet'' Cola. This is regular.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Why do you want Diet? Are you diabetic?</blockquote>

'''CASHIER:''' There's no difference.

'''SUPER SAM:''' Your manager does not pay you to argue.

'''CASHIER:''' I'm barely paid at all.

'''SUPER SAM:''' Just give me the stupid money. You obviously don't know anything about the delicacy of Aldi Brand.

'''CASHIER:''' Fine. Gosh.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' The dialogue from that transaction! It's... too robotic!</blockquote>

''{Cut back to the student school.}''

'''JCM:''' Oh, OK. Bye, Mr. Evil.

''{JCM walks away.}''

'''JCM:''' Wow! My friends as teachers and previous teachers as principals. This is the happiest day of my life!

'''GAVINO:''' ''{offscreen}'' Mine too!

''{JCM turns confused to find Gavino standing behind him.}''

'''JCM:''' Hey! I remember you...I think.

'''GAVINO:''' I was one of the escapees from the school in France.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' What happened to Prance?</blockquote>

I got my mom to get me a ticket to Wiki City so I could go to school with our hero!

'''JCM:''' Well, that's great, then! The more, the merrier!

'''GAVINO:''' I also changed my name to Raiku because it's a more Wikian name.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' For some reason I prefer "Gavino" as a name.</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' Good for you! I've got to go, now.

'''RAIKU:''' But wait! Aren't you going to show me around?

'''JCM:''' I'm sorry. I don't know this place any better than you do. It was built a month ago, after all.

'''RAIKU:''' Well, what do we do?

'''JCM:''' Well, since this place is basically the same as the Homestar Runner Fanstuff School-

'''RAIKU:''' What's the Homestar Runner Fanstuff School?

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Good question! I'm certain we'll get adequate exposition from JCM's answer!</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' It was the school I went to for a few years now. It's currently being reconstructed because-

'''RAIKU:''' OK, I'm bored now. What do we do here?

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Or... not...<br>
'''NAMINE:''' You know, I kind of prefer Lex's takes on Raiku a lot better.</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' Well, I was going to say that we make fanstuff, which is-

'''RAIKU:''' What's fanstuff?

'''JCM:''' It's your own creations based on Homestar Runner like-

'''RAIKU:''' What's Homestar Runner?

<blockquote>''{Namine gasps}''</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' Homestar Runner is a flash cartoon where-

'''RAIKU:''' What's a flash cartoon?

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' I think the point where asking clueless questions has ''long'' passed?</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' ''{sighs}'' You know what? Why don't you go to the principal about all this?

'''RAIKU:''' I just checked his office. He's not here.

'''JCM:''' ''{whispering}'' Dang! I forgot about his business.

'''RAIKU:''' What business?

'''JCM:''' I don't know. You know what? Why don't you go to one of the teachers about this? I'm sure they can answer your questions.

'''RAIKU:''' OK!

''{Raiku skips offscreen and JCM walks the other way relieved.}''

''{Cut to JCM's house. JCM is in the kitchen wearing an apron and singing "She Work Hard For The Money" while cooking.''

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' ''Suddenly, Lightning Guy changes the radio station and shorts out all the power in the process.''</blockquote>

''Sam The Man walks into the house. A giant anime style sweat drop appears on his head as he sees JCM.}''

'''SAM THE MAN:''' Uh, hi there, JCM.

'''JCM:''' Sam The Man! How are you?

'''SAM THE MAN:''' Good, good. Um, why are you dressed like a maid?

'''JCM:''' So I don't get food on me.

'''SAM THE MAN:''' Why are you making your own food?

'''JCM:''' So I don't starve to death! Could you get to the point?

'''SAM THE MAN:''' Yeah. I'm not going to be here for a while.

'''JCM:''' What? Why?

'''SAM THE MAN:''' I need to go out into the open world more. You know, I'm going into my teen years. I need to focus more on schoolwork and friends.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Oh no, it's the gratuitous message that's been present?</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' You can do all that here.

'''SAM THE MAN:''' JCM, Wiki City is a Neverland.

'''JCM:''' What's a Neverland?

'''SAM THE MAN:''' A place so great, it can only exist in your imagination. I want a real life. And I can only achieve that in a normal place.

'''JCM:''' Wiki City's normal!

''{Suddenly, through the window you see a fire-breathing dragon fly onscreen, terrorizing the city.}''

<blockquote>''{Namine rolls her eyes.}''</blockquote>

'''JCM:''' What? I'm sure that happened every week in the medieval times of your "normal places". It just happens every month here.

'''SAM THE MAN:''' Yeah, I'm not going to pointlessly argue about which is realer. Call me when the purge ends.

'''JCM:''' 'K.

''{Sam The Man is about to leave, when he turns.}''

'''SAM THE MAN:''' Oh, and by the way, where are your parents?

'''JCM:''' In Prance.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' So...<br>
'''NAMINE:''' Are Prance and France neighbors or something?</blockquote>

''{There is a pause.}''

'''JCM:''' It's a long story.

''{Sam The Man shrugs and walks out. JCM resumes cooking.}''

'''JCM:''' ''{singing}'' She works hard for the money. So hard for it, honey. She works hard for the money. So, you better treat her right.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Keep your singing to yourself, please.</blockquote>

''{Suddenly, Raiku's head comes out of the pot JCM's cooking in. JCM screams.}''

'''RAIKU:''' All the teachers kicked me out of their rooms, so I guess it's back to you and me, huh?

''{JCM, stunned, nods.}''

'''RAIKU:''' Great? So you know what-

''{The dragon outside blows out a large burst of fire, obscuring what Raiku said.}''

'''RAIKU:''' -means? One of the teachers said it to me.

''{JCM twitches.}''

''{Cut to the School Student School. Super Sam comes back with his box of Aldi Brand Diet Cola.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' I'm back!

''{Super Sam looks around to reveal the school is closed.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Well, this is horrible.

''{Super Sam takes a can out of the box.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Now I have no one to share this with.

''{Super Sam opens the can and takes a sip.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Oh well.

''{Color Printer slowly scoots onscreen.}''

'''COLOR PRINTER:''' Not having legs is tiring.

''{Super Sam stares at Color Printer awkwardly.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' I'm kind of having some personal time here.

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' Personal. Right.</blockquote>

'''COLOR PRINTER:''' I'm very sorry. This will only take a minute.

''{Color Printer starts scooting again. Fade to a screen with the words "1 hour later". Fade back. Color Printer finally opens the door. Super Sam is sleeping in the box.}''

'''COLOR PRINTER:''' Uh, I'm out!

''{Super Sam continues sleeping.}''

'''COLOR PRINTER:''' Whatever. ''{scoots out}''

<blockquote>'''NAMINE:''' I still don't get it.<br>
'''NAMINE:''' Why does Noxigar like this?</blockquote>
''{The End}''

RiffText/JCM-MOVIES/11 - Revision history

Noxigar: Easiest. Riff. Ever.