JCM: this easily tops as my most hated episode

2010-11-27T23:29:05Z

this easily tops as my most hated episode

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== Synopsis ==
Noxigar, Cow Puncher, Badstar, and Im a bell team up when Homsar44withpie runs amok in Homestar's universe. Cyrus, Garzel, and Shwoo join the bandwagon as H44WP wreaks more havoc. ''{NOTE: This is writable by Noxi, Badstar, Cow Puncher, and Im a bell. Otherwise, don't touch the transcript}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Great. Four times the stupidity. Wake me when it's over. ''{falls asleep}''</blockquote>
== Transcript ==
'''H44WP:''' Hi, cat... bell... thing... Blah-dee-blah!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' ''{wakes immediately}'' WAH! Oh, screw it.</blockquote>
How would you like to be half of a demon?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Ugh, I get emails asking me that EVERY DAY.</blockquote>
'''BLING:'''''{monotone}'' No comment.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Specifics are important, especially for two word phrases.</blockquote>
''{cut to a computer. Im a bell is downloading something.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I wonder what it is.</blockquote>
the computer starts smoking}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Doesn't the computer know that's bad for its lungs?</blockquote>
'''BADSTAR:''' Duuuuuude... Something's seeeeeeriously wrong with your computer.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Make sure to eeeeeemphasize your vowels as much as poooooosible.</blockquote>
''{the computer inflames}''

'''IM A BELL:''' WHOA!!!!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Gnarly, dude.</blockquote>
'''ALPHA CRAM:''' Hi guys. Yeah, uhh, your catbell was kidnapped by question marks. Yeah.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' ???</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' Well... I suppose we should get a bunch of random HSR characters so we don't break rule 1.6!

''{cut to Bubs'. A limo appears out of thin air}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' How? Was it...magic?</blockquote>
'''HOMESCHOOL:''' It's done!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Wait, is Homeschool in the limo or</blockquote>
''{cut to a cliff. The limo is driving off of it. It is pulled back onto ground}''

'''IM A BELL:''' We're here!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Wait, is he in the limo or</blockquote>
'''BADSTAR:'''''{voiceover}'' WRONG'd!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So he's pulling the limo off the ground?</blockquote>
'''BELLSON:''' The right cliff's over there!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So you're going to push the limo off that?</blockquote>
''{a ship appears}''

'''ANTI-BLING:'''''{redneck accent}'' Yeeehaw! Ya' guys need a lift?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' What the crap is going on?</blockquote>
''{Cut to Noxigar, who was at Bubs' watching.}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That watching sure was a blast.</blockquote>
'''NOXIGAR:''' Hi, Bellstrom. Anyway,
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He was going to say something after the greeting, but he forgot.</blockquote>
H44WP came here and I've been sent by Shwoo to see that he doesn't ruin the universe.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Like Noxigar did when he created this.</blockquote>
''{Homestar watches all this from his window in his room}''

'''HOMESTAR:''' Hey, what makes this look weiwd? I'm intwewsted...
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hey, what order are these events in, if any? I'm intwewsted...</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:'''''{to Noxigar}'' Sure. Say, You need a lift from four question marks dash five question marks?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Say, Can you use one number dash no numbers?</blockquote>
''{cut to a warehouse. Ll e bami
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It's a crying shame, I'll tell you.</blockquote>
swallows Bling}''

'''LL:''' Look, I need to do a bunch of random things to reach a demonic form, so, get me tea, dangit! You can use this Banhammer'''TM'''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I trademarked that word in hope you'd stop using it. It didn't work, apparently.</blockquote>
while you wait.

'''H44WP:''' Yays.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, kill me.</blockquote>
Say hello to Blockination, Homestar Tiger! ''{walks away}''

''{Cut back to Noxigar and Im a bell}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' Uh, sure. I will not let H44WP mess with my furniture.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why do you keep cutting back in mid-conversation? It's not clever, it's just freaking annoying!</blockquote>
''{Noxigar gets out the HST chair and points at it.}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That's the only piece of furniture he has.</blockquote>
'''NOXIGAR:''' On a half-related note. I'll join your quest.

''{Noxigar enters the limo, with the HST chair}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' We better get going, or else Stephen Colbert is going to kill The Cheat.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That makes sense.</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' I think he already did. ''{points to The Cheat chair}'' Say, you got another of those HST chairs?

'''NOXIGAR:''' There's only one HST in existence, if that answers your question.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well, there was one HST in existence, anyway.</blockquote>
''{Cut to a picture of Stephen Colbert in his office. The "Threat Down" thing
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I love how sophisticated your vocabulary is.</blockquote>
pops up and a picture of the Cheat is below.}''

'''STEPHEN COLBERT:''' Hmhmhmmm. Meh THAT!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' This sounds exactly like Stephen Colbert.</blockquote>
''{Shwoo pops up behind Stephen Colbert and kills him by thwacking him in the head with a pretzel stick.}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You can resolve anything with a pretzel stick.</blockquote>
'''SHWOO:''' Hmmhmhmmm. Meh THAT!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' This sounds exactly like Shwoo.</blockquote>
''{Cut back to Noxigar and Im a bell}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Whoa. Shwoo-

'''VEGEROT:''' Unnecessary line!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That describes every line on the page.</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' -totally reverted him!

'''NOXIGAR:''' Hey, where are your other friends?

'''IM A BELL:''' Uhh... well... I'm a n00b, so,
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He doesn't have any other friends.</blockquote>
they're here, but
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' They're fake characters.</blockquote>
we don't let them talk. I think they're just here for filler.

'''NOXIGAR:''' Filler, you say? Reasonable...

''{Cut to H44WP, in his office, with the Banhammer}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' WHERE IS THAT TM</blockquote>
'''H44WP:''' Dang it! HST's now a piece of furniture in Noxic Gas' pile o' stuff!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I love how sophisticated your vocabulary is.</blockquote>
Now I'm getting sick of the entire wiki. The Subpage Deal and everything ruined the usefulness of Rule 1.6! Order must be restored to the throne!

''{Cut back to Noxi an Im a bell}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Noxi is an Im a bell? That explains so much.</blockquote>
'''NOXIGAR:''' Anyway, where are we going? I spot a Burger King nearby. Mind if I get a Bruger King mask?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why would they give Bruger King masks at Burger King?</blockquote>
'''COW:''' ONG WEWE GOIN TA A CANDAH LAND LOLOL!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Cow is officially my favorite writer.</blockquote>
'''NOXIGAR:''' Proper English please?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Or English good enough for the page, anyway.</blockquote>
''{Garzel appears, apparently having known HM-02 Fly.}''

'''GARZEL:''' Methinks she is saying we're going to Candy Land?

''{Garzel enters the limo by using Aqua Jet.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Aqua Who?</blockquote>
Noxigar is all wet.}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' It's a good thing my jacket is hydrophobic.

'''GARZEL:''' It's a lipid?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Great job using the script to show what you've learned in science class today.</blockquote>
'''NOXIGAR:''' Uh... no.

''{Cut to Bling, being tied up. Ll e bami grins as he ties up Bling.}''

'''BLING:''' Why am I always kidnapped?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Because you don't know how to run.</blockquote>
'''LL:''' It's part of a cliche, that's why.

'''BLING:''' But I'm not Princess Peach.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You're not?</blockquote>
'''LL:''' So what? Your physique is strikingly similar.

''{Cut back to Noxigar and Im a bell}''

'''IM A BELL:''' ...Is it just me, or did it feel like a lot of the wiki was destroyed? ''{eats burger}'' Where are we eating anyway?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Nobody reads the actions anymore.</blockquote>
''{Vegerot points to a sign saying "Candy Land'''TM'''A Subsidiary of Burger King"}''

'''IM A BELL:''' :Weirded Out:... Pathooie!!!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It was bad for his colons.</blockquote>
''{spits out burger}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' Well I like Burger King! And what's wrong with Candy Land?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Besides the fact that it sucks.</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' Uhh... Nothing...

'''NOXIGAR:''' We better hurry before H44WP becomes as bad as Roxas!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It's funny because it's a Kingdom Hearts reference.</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' Right. Everyone! Me, CP, Noxi, Badstar, and Vegerot will find H44WP! Everyone else, go do random stuff. Ebeneezer, go drown!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Ebeneezer, what the crap?</blockquote>
''{Im a bell, Noxigar, CP, Badstar, and Vegerot run off. Cut to Namine.}''

'''NAMINE:''' Hello. I'm sure you know me from the previous episode, or from the Kingdom Hearts series. I'm Namine. I animate and Shadow Scythe is co-animator. I'm the main wiki admin, with Joey Day being one of my many puppets. I can draw anyone to do what I tell them to. So, I went to talk to H44WP and asked him about Rule 1.6 and if anyone was following it. He went to enforce Rule 1.6, albeit not in the style I had in mind. Thus, I punish him by having his most hated enemies kill him.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' tl;dr Nobody cares about the animator.</blockquote>
''{Pan out to show Bellson standing beside her}''

'''BELLSON:''' ...Nice monologue.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Too bad no one's ever going to bother to read it.</blockquote>
'''NAMINE:''' Uh... thanks?

'''BELLSON:''' I'm... gonna leave... because of Im a bell's Shipping-phelia... ''{runs away}''

'''NAMINE:''' Shipping-phelia? O DER.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' This is so serious I can't spell the words out.</blockquote>
Wait, I'm talking like the tentacle guy.

''{Shadow Scythe pops up}''

'''SHADOW SCYTHE:''' These are '''not''' tentacles. These are grappling hooks.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You learn something new every day.</blockquote>
''{Shadow Scythe runs offscreen}''

'''NAMINE:''' Let's go help Noxigar again. Hopefully Im a bell's as judgmental as he is a shipping-
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Pedo</blockquote>
phile.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I know what you were downloading.</blockquote>
'''BELLON:''' Right. Fortunately, he only ships Acidgrrl. Sometimes me... ''{leaves}''

''{Namine gets a weirded
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The weird dads never stop coming.</blockquote>
out look on her face.}''

'''NAMINE:''' Let's hope he doesn't pair Noxigar with Acidgrrl. That'd make me lonelier, as then drawing this would be ruined.

''{Goofy pops up}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' For the love of</blockquote>
'''GOOFY:''' Hey, how bout I get paired with Acidgrrl instead, hyuk?

'''NAMINE:''' ''{smiles}'' Yeah, that'd work!

''{Im a bell appears}''

'''IM A BELL:'''''{just a translucent head}'' NO! Look, I'm layin' off the shipping for a while. Unless... With Bling?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm sure you'd like that.</blockquote>
No, that wouldn't work.

'''NAMINE:''' I don't even really care... about you.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The feeling is mutual... from everyone.</blockquote>
''{Namine draws Noxigar and Im a bell again}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Ever have the feeling you have two heads?

'''NOXIGAR:''' Not sure. Why?

'''IM A BELL:''' I don't know. Does my head look clear?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Of brains? Yes.</blockquote>
'''NOXIGAR:''' It should be clear.

'''IM A BELL:''' It's not? Hmm...

'''NOXIGAR:''' There's several blue spots occurring, like little dabs of ink.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Wait, what was this episode about, again?</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' I can see that. Here comes one right now!!! ''{becomes completely dark blue}''

''{Cut back to Namine, whose blue pen is bleeding.}''

'''NAMINE:''' Good thing I have this red marker to replace it.

''{Namine throws the bleeding pen into the garbage.}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The same garbage where Noxigar gets his ideas?</blockquote>
'''NAMINE:''' Let's start over from a new page.

''{Namine turns to a brand new page, and draws all the characters from before}''

'''IM A BELL:''' First I was blue, NOW I'm covered in blood!

'''NOXIGAR:''' And most of these characters are dead.

''{Noxigar points at Bling, Alpha Cram, Bellson, Acidgrrl, and Ll e bami all dead.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That's a quick development.</blockquote>
Cut to H44WP.}''

'''H44WP:''' Soon, Rule 1.6 will become a deity and I will be king! Oh, crap. HST's still alive. Banhammer
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Tee Emm!</blockquote>
hit!!!

'''HST:''' Why you-

''{H44WP bans HST chair}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' You dare bring light to my furniture? You must die!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well, it was his only furniture.</blockquote>
''{Noxigar electrocutes H44WP}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm guessing with that electric dagger of your?</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' Nice. ''{becomes soul reaper}'' Randim Jibney Death!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He actually managed to ruin Jibney. You, sir, are a monster!</blockquote>
n00b Torture!!!!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Also known as: this show.</blockquote>
''{H44WP is sentenced to be locked in a room, forced to watch every single n00bish thing on the HRFWiki}''
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Wow, that must really suck. You're going to become the most pathetic excuse of s man to ever walk the...oh.</blockquote>
''{Namine turns to an empty page, and continues from there. Apparently Im a bell and Noxigar locked themselfs
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Them selfs be illin'.</blockquote>
in.}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' Major plot twist!

'''H44WP:''' Where there's smoke, they pinch back!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' There's no point trying to catch up with all this.</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' Hmm... My zanpakuto also acts as a Banhammer... ''{Banhammers H44WP}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' Good thing I found a magic balloon!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' How convenient.</blockquote>
''{Noxigar points up and inflates the balloon to fit two people. The balloon breaks the roof of the imprisonment.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That must be one strong balloon.</blockquote>
Cut to Namine again.}''

'''NAMINE:''' What's next on my agenda?

''{Namine gets out her agenda. "A Meat Lover's
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' What kind of screen name is that?</blockquote>
pizza arrives in 10 minutes" is written.}''

'''NAMINE:''' Ah. Good.

''{Cut back to the balloon}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Get in the balloon! I think I can see some sort of sphere heading towards us!!!!

''{Cut back to Namine. She is apparently playing Katamari Damacy.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh course she is.</blockquote>
Noxigar, Im a bell, and H44WP become a part of the Katamari. Cut to the King Of All Cosmos behind Namine.}''

'''KING OF ALL COSMOS:''' That's my boy! Turn those meddling fools into stars!

''{The sphere heads back to Namine's. Noxigar, Im a bell, and H44WP are thrown off it, landing on Namine's sofa.}''

'''KING OF ALL COSMOS:''' My boy! This peace is what all true Katamari warriors strive for!

'''IM A BELL:''' That... was cool.
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Great, great. Are we actually going to continue the plot now?</blockquote>
''{Namine draws a portal, and H44WP runs through it. Before entirely going through, he turns to Im a bell and Noxigar.}''

'''H44WP:''' I'll be back, and next time you won't be so lucky!
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I have no luck to spare.</blockquote>
'''IM A BELL:''' Shut up.

''{H44WP goes through the portal.}''

'''NOXIGAR:''' Well that was odd...
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well That was a masterpiece. You know nothing.</blockquote>
how can a portal just pop up that randomly?

'''IM A BELL:''' Uhh... Global Warming?
<blockquote>'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Global Warming resolves everything.</blockquote>
''{End 'sode}''

== Spot the References ==
=== About Bell Quest... ===
*":Weirded out:"; Apparently, Im a bell can speak ASCII emoticons, usually O_o (weirded out).
*"your catbell was kidnapped by question marks"
**one; "Catbell" refers to the fact that Cyrus described Bling as "a bell kitty thing".
**two;"question marks" rfers to the fact that before Anti-Bling's, H44WP's, and Ll's names were revealed, the letters of their names were replaced with "?"s.
*H44WP being an antagonist is a reference to Bell Quest.

=== Fun Facts ===
* [[Bell Quest]] is a fan fiction.
** Also, they have a sequel at [[Bell Quest II: Cow Quest]]

== Comments==
Yay, a Bell Quest pardorie. {{User:Cow Puncher/octobersig}} 00:52, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
:You, Bell, and Badstar are allowed to contribute, as this is ''your'' fanfiction I'm mocking. [[User:Noxigar|Noxigar]] 00:53, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
::Yeah. I think I can point out a LOT of plotholes. BtW, unless you're also mocking Bell Quest II, it's not really CP's. {{User:Im a bell/hallosig}} 00:58, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
:::OMG, I JUST remembered the Threat Down thing! ''{laughs}'' {{User:Im a bell/hallosig}} 01:02, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
::::Plotholes... let's fill 'em up! ''{readies a cement truck}'' [[User:Noxigar|Noxigar]] 01:06, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
:::::I'll get the forks! Wait... what? {{User:Im a bell/hallosig}} 01:13, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

RiffText/Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/9 - Revision history

JCM: this easily tops as my most hated episode