RiffText/B&D - Revision history

Noxigar at 20:08, 7 January 2013

2013-01-07T20:08:36Z

Noxigar: and good riddance

2013-01-07T20:08:25Z

and good riddance

Noxigar at 23:06, 7 February 2011

2011-02-07T23:06:00Z

New page

=== Adventure 1 ===

''{Dylan is sitting on the couch reading the paper. Brooks comes in from the front door with several grocery bags.}''

'''BROOKS:''' I'm ho-ome!

'''DYLAN:''' Did you get the milk?

'''BROOKS:''' ..whoops, I forgot.

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I purchased some magic beans instead!</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

'''the end'''

=== Adventure 2 ===

''{Dylan is using the bathroom in his and Brooks' apartment. He hears his front door open.}''

'''BROOKS:''' Dylan? Where are you?

'''DYLAN:''' I'm taking the browns to the super bowl!

'''BROOKS:''' I get it!

''{There is a pause}''

'''BROOKS:''' Hey, is it okay if we get a cat?

'''DYLAN:''' Dude, bills are enough as is. We can't afford a cat right now.

'''CAT:''' meow

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Translation: "Problem, Dylan?"</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

'''the end'''

=== Adventure 3 ===

''{Dylan and Brooks are looking at their new cat}''

'''DYLAN:''' What should we name him?

'''BROOKS:''' I'm not sure...

''{The cat barfs up some loose change.}''

'''BROOKS:''' I got it! We'll name him Coin!

'''DYLAN:''' Hey yeah, that's a swell name!

'''COIN:''' baw

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

'''the end'''

=== Adventure 4 (FAN ADVENTURE) ===

''{Dylan and Brooks are watching TV together. They are sitting in different chairs because they're not gay okay?}''

'''DYLAN:''' Man, I haven't watched TV ''this'' exciting in a long time!

'''BROOKS:''' Yeah, this is pulse-''pounding''!

''{Coin gets on Dylan's lap.}''

'''DYLAN:''' Aww, hey Coin!

''{Coin sits on the remote control and changes it to Oxygen.}''

'''DYLAN:''' COIN GET OUT OF HERE

'''BROOKS:''' ''COIN GET OUT''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''DAMN'' you're harsh to the cat even though it has so few lines of dialogue and so little screentime.</blockquote>

''{Coin leaves and cries.}''

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

''the end''

=== Adventure 5 ===

''{Dylan walks in the apartment, with a loosened tie. He has a goofy grin on his face.}''

'''DYLAN:''' Hey, Coin! That was a great first date I just went on! Where's Brooks? Broo-oks?

''{silence}''

'''DYLAN:''' Oh, well. Hey, my date is probably about to call me and invite me out for a second time! I can't wait!

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''Or'' the more realistic scenario is that you will be banished to the Friend Zone by the lack of a call and ''Brooks'' will call instead.</blockquote>

''{Dylan walks over to the phone and sits next to it. Time passes. One hour later, the phone rings.}''

'''DYLAN:''' Yes! ''{picks up the phone}'' Hello?

'''BROOKS:'''
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' TOLD YOU.</blockquote>

I totaled
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''totalled''</blockquote>

the car.

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

'''the end'''

=== Adventure 6 ===

''{It is Sunday morning. Dylan is asleep in bed, and Brooks is all dressed up.}''

'''BROOKS:''' We're going to church!

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

'''the end'''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' So far, this is the only Adventure convenient enough to make Dylan's catchphrase funny, and only in an ironic way.</blockquote>

== Adventure 7 ==

''{A charming young man with a >:I face walks in the doorway. He is wearing gingham and Adidas shoes.}''

'''bluebry:''' i think this sucks

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I agree with you.</blockquote>

''{Dylan and Brooks look at each other.}''

''{They bukkake''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''Bukkake'' is '''not at all''' familair to me. Probably because I don't know Japanese.</blockquote>

''all over bluebry.}''

'''bluebry:''' ''gosh darnit''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' YAY, THE ENDING CHANGED.<br>
''{Noxigar realizes that ''Gosh darnit'' is simply a fake swear identical twin of}''<br>
'''NOXIGAR:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''</blockquote>

=== Adventure 8 ===

''{NachoMan is at his computer. He logs on to the HRFWiki and sees that it is boring and populated exclusively by dirty thirdies. He shakes his head.}''

'''NACHOMAN:''' Oh, wiki. Where did we go wrong?
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Let's start at the beginning.</blockquote>

''{Super Sam barges in.}''

'''SUPER SAM:''' Fear not, I have re-opened the WUW to escape the boringness of the HRFWiki!

'''NACHOMAN:''' G--- :)

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' A legitimate change in<br>
''{Noxigar realizes that the smile is simply sarcasm code for}''<br>
'''NOXIGAR:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''</blockquote>

=== Adventure 9 (FAN ADVENTURE) ===
''{Brooks is sitting on the couch with a girl, watching TV. They are not holding hands that would be sinful.''
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' THAT IS BLASPHEMY. THAT IS MADNESS.</blockquote>

''Dylan walks in with a video tape in his hand.}''
<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{imitating Dylan}'' ''GOD DAMMIT'' they caught me trying to sneak a tape of them having a fling OH DEAR HOW AM I GOING TO PAY THE BILLS NOW?!</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' Hey, Brooks! Who's the girl?

'''BROOKS:''' Oh, this is just my girlfriend!

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{still imitating Dylan}'' How convenient for the tape, then!</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' Oh, lucky!

'''BROOKS:''' Hey, uh, Dylan, what were you going to do with that video tape?

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{still imitating Dylan, but in sing-song}'' ON THE R-OAD TO NOWHERE</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' Oh, I was just going to watch some home movies!

'''BROOKS:''' Well alrighty then, I bet my girlfriend wouldn't mind!

''{Dylan puts on the tape.}''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Oh, so the tape isn't empty. Well that is a convenient cover-up if there ever was one.</blockquote>

'''PBTC THE CHEAT:''' ''{reading email}'' Yes I know, what do you think of Family Guy? Crapfully yours, A penguin. Well, Pengy. To be honest, I have never ever seen or heard of Family Guy. Now, hang on. ''{The Cheat pulls out a cell phone}''

'''BROOKS:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' It's not like your girlfriend was gonna give a shit.</blockquote>

''{Suddenly the tape cuts to a video of baby Dylan in the tub.}''

'''BROOKS' GIRLFRIEND:''' What a tiny baby penis!!

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Wait, so Brooks' girlfriend is actively looking at baby Dylan's penis. ''{starts to laugh}'' What is this, I don't even know?</blockquote>

'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''

<blockquote>''{Noxigar cackles madly, unaware that Dylan's catchphrase is tired-out at this point}''</blockquote>

'''the end'''

<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{laughing in between each word/phrase}'' That. Right there. Is Brooks' swag.</blockquote>

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:08, 7 January 2013
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	''the end''		''the end''

−	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''and good riddance</blockquote>	+	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''and good riddance''</blockquote>

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:08, 7 January 2013
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	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{laughing in between each word/phrase}'' That. Right there. Is Brooks' swag.</blockquote>		<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''{laughing in between each word/phrase}'' That. Right there. Is Brooks' swag.</blockquote>
		+
		+	== adventure 10 ==
		+
		+	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' And he tried to sneak one past me a while after I finished riffing this sitcom. Nope.</blockquote>
		+
		+	''{Dylan's at his laptop checkin out some pornography when he decides to go browse the wuw for the first time in what seems like forever.}''
		+
		+	'''DYLAN:''' It's true! Here I...
		+
		+	''{...}''
		+
		+	GO!
		+
		+	''{Dylan clicks on the very first link on the wuw recent changes.}''
		+
		+	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''Dylan suddenly realizes how barren the place is. He wants no part in most of this, so he resumes what he's doing, doesn't do his incredibly stupid one-liner - ending the series on a high note - and thusly also ensures he can resume porno checking''</blockquote>
		+
		+	626 237 2020
		+	http://pricelesscomputer.com
		+	Cell Phone and Smart Phone Repair and Unlock in San Gabriel Computer Store. Sale and Service 626 237 2020
		+	Computers have most definitely become a necessity for anyone and everyone in today�s world. Due to the constant technological advances being made in computers, improvements will continue to progress and further create newer, faster, and more convenient machines. Most likely, the more advanced the computer, the higher the price.
		+	What people don�t realize is that their older computer can be refurbished and made new again. That is what Priceless Computers is all about. They specialize in all kinds of computer repairs and sell refurbished computers at very reasonable prices. For example, they have a deal on an Intel Pentium 4, with a 40 GB hard drive, CR-Rom drive, Windows XP Professional, MS Office, and an anti-virus system for only $69. They even sell printers, you can buy an HP Laser Printer with Toner for $29.99. In need of computer accessories? They have wireless keyboards, mouses, web cams, head phones, monitors, speakers, and much more.
		+	In terms of repairs, the computer techs at Priceless are all very knowledgeable and helpful. Their priority is customer satisfaction. Owner Sultan Salahuvdin states, �I put in all my energy here, I won�t let the customer be disappointed.� And how could anyone be disappointed? The prices are unbeatable, PC Repair prices are $25 an hour and Diagnostics are only $35. Salahuvdin explains, �my prices are better than anybody. That�s why we say, it�s no fix no charge. When somebody brings in their computer, we give them a price and if we cannot fix the problem, we do not charge them.�
		+	Next time your computer crashes and you are on the verge of a meltdown, go to Priceless Computers. They will do their best to fix your machine. The store is in San Gabriel at 6913 Rosemead Blvd. Call (626) 237-2020 with any questions or see www.pricelesscomputer.com
		+	Cell Phone and Smart Phone Repair and Unlock,iPhone Repair,Computer laptop and desktop Repair Service,Computer Store. Sale and Service,Virus and Spyware Removal in Pasadena,Temple City,San Gabriel,Arcadia,Rosemead
		+
		+	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Oh right, you're checking WUW on your phone. That helps me understand this entire wall of text right here.</blockquote>
		+
		+	'''DYLAN:''' ''GOD DAMMIT''
		+
		+	''the end''
		+
		+	<blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' ''and good riddance</blockquote>