NachoMan: riff

2011-04-08T16:05:38Z

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== Summary ==
It's

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' A BEAUTIFUL DAY</blockquote>

been

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ONE WEEK SINCE YOU LOOKED AT ME, COCKED YOUR HEAD AND SAID "I'M ANGRY" '''BLUEBRY:''' did somebody say cocks</blockquote>

a

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' LOOOONNNNGGGGG DECEMBER, AND THERE'S REASON TO BELIEVE</blockquote>

year,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME. "HAPPY CHRISTMAS," I WRAPPED IT UP AND SENT IT, '''NACHOMAN:''' shut up, chwoka</blockquote>

since the World blew up.

== Transcript ==
'''SEPHIROTH:''' It's been a year, since our

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' last English class. Maybe more.</blockquote>

planet was blown up,

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' oh really</blockquote>

and billions have been killed.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "After the world explosion, I mean.</blockquote>

On the bright side though, we have enough Curry, to last us for 100 years!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "On the other hand, no refridgeration." '''SKUB:''' Wouldn't they just have the stupid little space powder stuff</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' And I just got my medical degree online with one of those online college courses. Well, actually, it was my G.E.D.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' 100% "legal" order today!!</blockquote>

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Chaos. You are a brilliant doctor. You may have a habit of killing the patient when something goes wrong, but, still.

'''CHAOS:''' Yes. ''{shifting eyes}'' a '''''Coincidental''''' habit. Not because I need their organs or anything.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' their delicious organs</blockquote>

''{The hologram of CC comes up}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' guys im riffing this trash at school and the friday announcements are on tv and holy shit they are so bad we should riff them instead of this</blockquote>

'''CC:''' Good morning Sephiroth, Chaos.

'''CHAOS:''' Good morning test subje-CC.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' this doesn't even work because he's a hologram</blockquote>

Do you want some curry?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Curry? My curry! ....You can have some.... BUT NOT ALL!!!!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' is this a joke</blockquote>

'''CC:''' Uh, Chaos, I'm a hologram.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' "Holograms love curry!"</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' Let's say I needed to make some spicy food in the wee hours of the morning to pour on someone's lap to make their skin dissolve so I can dissect them.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Dude, at least earlier you were covert abut your organ harvesting.</blockquote>

Could I use it then?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Or, you could use Acid. Spicy food is mine!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' hahaha that loveable Sephiroth always obsessed with spicy food oh man what a card</blockquote>

But you can have some...

'''CC:''' ''{Sighs}'' It's times like this I'm glad that rouge lawnmower cut my head off.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' i'm so glad that in the future lawnmowers come in pretty colors</blockquote>

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Yeah, but you can't Taste, Feel, or Smell.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' but can he Love???</blockquote>

And you have a "H" on your forehead.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' For Hadultery.</blockquote>

For Hologram. Doesn't that bother you?

'''CC:''' Yeah. Dang watermarks.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' they stole cc from stockholograms.com</blockquote>

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''I think it does.Since you can change it to a target symbol!''{Pulls out gun}''Hold still.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' DON'THATEME'CAUSEMYSPACEBARISBROKEN.</blockquote>

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Good thing he can't feel. But don't harm my CURRY!!!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' curry ''can'' feel :(( '''CHWOKA:''' OKAY YOU GUYS, I HAVE MY ONE JOKE, CAN I JOIN NOW</blockquote>

''{CC's robot wheels under the hologram generator pushes him to a pod. He uses robot arms to open it. Inside is a malfunctioning lawnmower}''

'''CC:''' Some day, I'll get my revenge.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' Against all the lawnmowers that taunted me in high school.</blockquote>

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''How did he get to be captain, Chaos?

'''CHAOS:''' Let me take out your jugular, and I'll tell you!

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''Let me remove your life and soul first.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' oh, why must they fight so!</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' Oh, they're in glass jars in my room.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' next to the tee-ball trophies</blockquote>

Now, everyone to the meeting table!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Or should I say... SURGERY TABLE. Or should I say... MURDER TABLE."</blockquote>

''{They all press buttons''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Any button will do. They all do the same thing anyway.</blockquote>

''and teleport to the meeting room, with a round table, but their haeds are on backwards, like in Spaceballs.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' OHHHH, so THAT'S what you meant by "heads on backwards." I was a bit confused until you referenced the movie, now it's like a photograph in my mind. ''NACHOMAN:''' they were all wearing shoes, much like the characters in Raiders of the Lost Ark</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' Oh, dear. Everyone port back!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Now starboard forward! '''CHWOKA:''' they're crew of a spaceship okay, they HAVE to know what it means</blockquote>

''{Everyone teleports back,''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' actually, they teleported ''into'' someone's back, it wasn't very pleasant</blockquote>

''and just walks into the next room via the door, and sits at the table.}''

'''CHAOS:''' Good news everyone! I've invented a french-speaking ninja chimp!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' what does this have to do with anything</blockquote>

'''CC:''' Oh boy.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' Four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' The problem is...

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' "it spends all it's day smoking and bitching about 'ennui'"</blockquote>

it's really small.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' that's what ''she'' said</blockquote>

''{Chaos puts a cage the size of a coffee mug on the table. A ninja monkey is inside.}''

'''MONKEY:'''''{irish accent}'' Oy, this is a mighty predicament I've gotten meself into!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' they're after his lucky charms</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' And I could only make give him an irish accent.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' But you said it spoke French '''NACHOMAN:''' it's all Europe, who cares</blockquote>

''{CC waves his hand through the cage}''

'''CC:''' What you gonna' do about this?

'''CHAOS:''' The monkey? Eh, I'll probably just scrap him and reuse the vital organs tha I don't damage.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Or, you could throw him in the room of.... THE WIBBLES!!

'''CHAOS:''' No, I fed them on my way to the bridge.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Number one rule of Improv: never say "No."</blockquote>

''{GIM2-B4RD walks in.}''

'''GIM2-B4RD:''' ''{sounding really depressed}'' Hey guys. Looks like the Wibbles need feeding again.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''Number one rule of Improv: never say "No."''</blockquote>

They almost tore off my leg.

''{Zoom in on GIM2's leg where a few circuits are poking out from where the leg is connected to the main body. Zoom back out.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' The Wibbles always attack Robots. They think they're made of Candy. For Humans, they're okay. Like me!

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' '''Number one rule of Improv: never say "No."'''</blockquote>

''{Gets Wibble, which Purrs.}''

''{OOC: In this, Sephiroth is human. This is an Alternate Universe altogether.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' excuse me this episode violates the space-aged stupidity canon!!!</blockquote>

'''GIM2:''' Lucky for you. Starting up tagline program...

''{Lights on GIM2 start flashing and beeping noises start coming from him. After a few seconds, it stops and GIM2's eyes turn red.}''

'''GIM2:''' ''{robotic voice}'' Gee I Am Too BoReD.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''':o)'''</blockquote>

''{GIM2's eyes go back to their normal colour of bright blue.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' So what purpose did that digression serve, then.</blockquote>

''{OOC: Yes, they're blue. - Znex}''

'''GIM2:''' ''{normal voice; ie. depressed}'' Now, thanks to my programming, I now have to ask if you would all like a drink.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Nah, I'm alright. I've had my share of liquor.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Now on to CURRY!!! '''NACHOMAN:''' You drank before writing this? I am shocked!!!</blockquote>

'''GIM2:''' Thank goodness I don't have to get that drink thing out. It's so cumbersome. By the way, what course are we set on?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' No idea. I'll have a look. ''{Looks on monitor. It is going towards a planet made of Titanium.}'' Titanius 14. Wanna go on it?

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''Hmmmmm....what's the pizza like there?

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Crunchy and shiny.</blockquote>

'''GIM2:''' Don't bother asking, there is no pizza. It's just made of titanium. Space pilots often stop by these planets to collect titanium for their ships. There is the Titanius Refill Station which is currently orbiting Titanius Prime, or Titanius 1, but there's no pizza.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' But, they have a fun minecart ride!

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' No, let us not go there.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Let us not tarry!!! '''SKUB:''' let us not CURRY</blockquote>

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Lemme think... ''{5 Minutes Later, and Sephiroth kicks Userunknown in the crotch.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Well he's certainly not CURRYING favor.</blockquote>

Nope, we're going. We running low on Titanium for many uses, including Chaos's Suspicious Experiments, The Ship's Supply, Food for the Wibbles, Upgrades for GIM2, and weapons for me. ''{Cut to the ship landing on the planet.}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' Ha ha, I'm wearing armor.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "I was just waiting for you to finish speaking until I said that." also '''''NEVER SAY NO'''''</blockquote>

''{Pulls out a gun and aims at Sephiroth}'' For that, you gotta get me ammo '''and''' a space ship.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' uh, who says</blockquote>

'''SEPHIROTH:''' No. And if you shoot me, you'll face the ultimate penalty. Murder of the Captain, followed by Death by Firing Squad, and hanging. Now. ''{Grabs gun, and throws it into space.}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:''' Uh-oh ''{Gun explodes,''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' ''it was a bomb the whole time''</blockquote>

''almost destroying the engines}'' Wow.

''{GIM2 sighs and walks over to the engines.}''

'''GIM2:''' Another explosion, another repair.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "If you can't tell, I'm Marvin. ''Siiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.''"</blockquote>

''{GIM2 gets out a sonic screwdriver and starts fixing the engines.}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''Okay, let's go to Titanius after the repairs are done''{ooc:Do you think this is a good time to end the episode?}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''NACHOMAN:''' a good time to end the episode was about fifty lines ago</blockquote>

''{OOC: It's still pretty short. Maybe after like 10 more lines.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' '''EVERY 10 LINES''</blockquote>

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Well, let's go on the minecart! ''{Hops onto the minecart.}''

''{OOC:Can most of the episodes from now start in the meeting room, With Chaos exhibiting a new creation, like in Futurama?}''

''{OOC: Sure!}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''Uh, no thanks.I'll go and look at the hanger.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Look at 'im dangle."'''NACHOMAN:''' the national coat hanger museum is quite interesting, i've heard</blockquote>

''{CC drives the robot body until he falls in the minecart}''

'''CC:''' ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!

''{Everyone else hops in the minecart, and through the tunnel is Chaos' laboratory. He is currently doing something that nobody can see, because he's hunched over, and he does not hear them enter.}''

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''''{Off screen}''Are you okay down there?

'''CHAOS:''' What? Who said that! Oh! Good1 I wanted to show you all what I just made! It's the cure for any disease ever made!

''{Chaos holds up a chicken drumstick.}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''BLUEBRY:''' except heart disease</blockquote>

'''CHAOS:''' I'm currently working on a version that can play music, too!

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''''{Still off screen, he is not in the room}''What did you say?

'''CHAOS:''' ''{Speaking into the drumstick}'' I SAID I MADE A CURE FOR ALL DISEASES! IT WILL SOON BE ABLE TO PLAY MUSIC, TOO!

''{ooc:10 more lines!Let's end the episode!}''

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' OBSESSIVE LINE COUNTS ARE THE QUICK ROUTE TO QUALITY</blockquote>

'''USERUNKNOWN:'''That drumstick?

''{Pans to Chaos, who has eaten the drumstick.}''

'''CHAOS:''' Oh. Yeah. That was the cure.

<blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Now I can never die!"</blockquote>

Well, alls terrible that ends terrible!

'''THE END'''

Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Space-Aged Stupidity/eps/1 - Revision history

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