Poodlemuffin at 03:03, 24 September 2008

2008-09-24T03:03:48Z

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''{The episode starts off with Gilligan in his kitchen. He appears to be cooking a grilled cheese sandwich on top of his stove.}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' I'll give it some time to cook. ''{Walks off}''

''{An hour later...}''

''{Gilligan is sleeping on the couch. Smoke and fire is coming from the kitchen. The fire quickly spreads through his whole house. Gilligan wakes up}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Yawn}'' That was a nice nap... ''{Looks around}'' ...Since when did I live in a house made out of fire? ...Oh. AW, CRAP!!! I WISH TRACY WOULD COME IN AND CONVIENTLY SAVE ME!!!

'''TRACY:'''''{bursts through the door dressed as Kirby and riding a Dragoon}'' Sorry. I was at a Kirby convention. ''{starts putting out the fire}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Runs out of the house}'' Whew... I'm safe... ''{Turns around}'' OH MY GOD!!!

''{camera swings around to show a slightly charred mailman}''

'''MAILMAN:'''''{hands Gilligan a letter}'' Here you are sir.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Oh, thanks. ''{Looks at his house}'' OH MY GOD!!!

''{Gilligan's house is almost completley destroyed}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:'''''{runs out}'' Don't worry, I-Wait a second. ''{runs back inside the house}''

'''TRACY:'''''{runs out}'' Don't worry. I can fix it. ''{claps hands twice, the house reforms itself}'' Anyways, what's that thing? Looks like an unemployment check.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Dare I ask what that is?

'''TRACY:''' It a check people without jobs get from the government once a month to help pay for stuff.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Hmmmm... maybe I should get a job to replace the stuff that got destroyed in the fire!

'''TRACY:''' Um... I pay for all your important stuff. But, you should get a job. I'd suggest trying to get one where I work. You rarely have to do anything. It's pretty much a place to hang out.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Then whats the point?

'''TRACY:''' Then we can hang out more during the day. And you get a lot of money to waste on crap.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Sounds like a plan! What are you supposed to do at work, anyway?

'''TRACY:''' You kill miscellaneous things. My and my stepmom are basic angels of death. My dad's a galactic cataclyst, my grandmother's an angel of electronic death, and my grandfather's a planet-devourer.

'''GILLIGAN:''' You have a very homicidal family tree.

'''TRACY:''' I know. Isn't it GREAT?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Uh... yes?

'''TRACY:''' Correct. You get a cookie. ''{hands Gilligan a chocolate chip cookie}'' Now, let's go. Fortunately, My dad's a friend of the boss, so you'll likely get a job.

''{Cut to Malifact and Malifact}''

'''TRACY:'''''{walks in with Gilligan}'' The boss is on the top floor. ''{enters the elevator}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Enters Elevator}'' Who is the boss, anyways?

''{the camera swings around to show Chaos at a desk. Raiku is standing in front of him}''

'''RAIKU:''' So? Do I get the job?

'''CHAOS:''' Yeahhhhno. ''{presses a button on the desk}''

''{a trapdoor opens under Raiku, and he falls through it}''

'''TRACY:''' Hey, boss!

'''CHAOS:''' Hi. What do you want?

'''GILLIGAN:''' I would like a job!

'''CHAOS:''' Sure. ''{reaches under desk, pulls out a book labeled "Bibble."(The spelling error is intentional. Don't fix it), tears out some pages from it, hands them to Gilligan}'' Here you go.

'''TRACY:''' He means he wants a job.

'''CHAOS:''' Oh! Well, I'm not so sure about that. Even though he IS your friend, he unnecessarily capitalized words.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Pulls out a laptop and edits this episode}'' There! All fixed!

'''CHAOS:''' Ooh! Retconning! That'll get you the job! So, what do you plan to do here?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Umm... kill things?

'''CHAOS:''' Yes, but besides that. ...Anyways, how are you going to get to them? Tracy's told me that you don't want your mind corrupted via conscious warping, and I can tell you've already lost half of your brain cells.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Well, I can fly.

'''RAIKU:''' ''{still falling}'' How long is this going to last?!?

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Pulls out his grenade launcher and fires grenades down the pit}'' SHUT UP, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!

'''RAIKU:''' BUT I AM IMMORTAL AND CHAO'S GOD BROTHER!!!

'''CHAOS:''' I'LL KILL YOU DEAD FOR THAT IDIOTIC GRAMMATICAL ERROR!

'''GILLIGAN:''' So do I get the job or not?

'''CHAOS:''' Yep. You can be a low-ranking shinigami, just like Tracy.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ... Low-ranking? Well, better then nothing I suppose.

'''CHAOS:''' Look, kid. You have to be VERY skilled in the field of death. Even Charles Manson got a low-ranking job.

'''GILLIGAN:''' I AM very skilled! I once made Tracy's dad disenagrate!

'''CHAOS:''' ... Okay... About how long did it take?

'''TRACY:''' Gilligan, they pay VERY well. Even for my job. And it's not because I'm Bell's son. Besides, all low-ranking shinigami are kept on one floor, so it's likely you won't see me much during work.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Not paying attention to Tracy}'' About 10 seconds.

'''CHAOS:''' ...That'd get you a job as a galactic cataclyst. Since you can't teleport, I'll give you a spare Tardis so you can transport yourself everywhere. What do you want it to look like?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Hmmm... light blue.

'''CHAOS:''' Okay then. ''{snaps fingers, a light blue Tardis appears}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' YAY!!! Isn't this great, Tracy?

'''TRACY:''' It'll be even better when he tells you your salary.

'''CHAOS:''' It's $10,000 an hour.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ............................. Please cover your ears.

''{Cut to a shot of earth from space. Gilligan yelling "WHOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" can be heard. cut back. Tracy's head has exploded and Chaos' eyes and ears have popped out of their sockets and are bleeding, respectively}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' So, when do I start? ...Hey, are you okay?

'''CHAOS:'''''{pops eyes back into head}'' Yeah. You start... Mmm... Now.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Yay! So, where am I supposed to go?

'''CHAOS:''' We'll tell you when you get a mission. Galaxies rarely are in need of cataclysms.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Oh. Okay. ...So, what do I do now?

'''TRACY:''' Mess around, play pranks, make chauvinistic comments to women, etcetera, etcetera.

'''CHAOS:''' It's all outlined in this Employee Handbook. This has all of the Raise information, Job Facts, yadda, yadda, there's a test on it for you on Friday.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Okay! TIME TO MESS AROUND!!! ''{Jumps out window}''

'''TRACY:''' I'll get the pot and the roman candles! ''{poofs up a bag of pot, and some fireworks, jumps out the window}''

'''CHAOS:''' ''{Heads over to window;Yelling}'' DON'T FORGET I WANT THAT ARTICLE OF CATACLYSMIC HYBRID CELL DESTABILIZERS ON MY DESK BY 5, TRACY!

'''TRACY:''' OKAY! I'LL BE SURE TO RETCON IT THERE!

''{On friday...}''

'''TRACY:''' Hey, Gilligan. I just remembered. On ridays we get to kill whoever we want. Think of it as a casual friday for death.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Sorry. Can't kill anybody today. I have to take a test.

'''TRACY:''' Oh. Okay then. See ya! ''{runs off}''

''{Later...}''

''{cut to Gilligan taking the test}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Murderous weapon of choice? Grenade launcher! ''{Writes something on the test}'' There! All done!

'''TRACY:'''''{hanging from ceiling}'' Good. Give it to Chaos and let's go kill some hobos.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Okay! By the way... I have something to show you! ''{Warps away, then warps back, but without the test.}'' TA-DA! I learned how to warp!

'''TRACY:''' Neat. ...Odd. You don't SEEM corrupt.

'''GILLIGAN:''' I'm THAT awesome!

'''TRACY:''' Er, okay...

''{cut to Bell, dressed as a nerd, typing on a computer}''

'''IM A BELL:''' You're just getting a delayed reaction, methinks. ''{nerdy laugh}''

''{cut back}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Anyway, I- ....... SDGJSDGOSHGSPHJPDHJ!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY MIND IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ''{Runs out window}''

''{cut back to Bell}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Bawww, my epileptic tree has been disproven.

''{cut back}''

'''TRACY:''' ...Now you know how ''I'' felt.

''{OOC: If you don't understand Bell's last line, let me direct your attention to [[Wild Mass Guessing/Unholy Parenthood|this]]}''

''{OOC: I already saw. I wrote that to prove that part to prove that wasn't the reason that Gilligan dissapeared}''

''{OOC: Ah. I see}''

''{The next day...}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Gets in an elevator.}'' Well, bye man. I've gotta get to the galactic cataclyst floor! See ya! ''{The doors close and the elevator goes up}''

''{cut to the galactic cataclyst floor. Gilligan exits the elevator}''

'''IM A BELL:''' Hey, you're Tracy's friend, aren't you? You got THIS job? Sweet. How much did Tracy bribe Chaos to get you this?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Actually, Chaos didn't get bribed. I just told him how you got disenegrated by a certain 13, now 18, year-old cathuman.

'''IM A BELL:''' That's... Nice. Um, so, what've you been up to for the past five years?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Oh, the usual. Getting into wacky antics with Tracy, stuff like that.

'''IM A BELL:''' Huh. Interesting. I've been doing this and continually mourning the loss of my wife.

''{OOC: [[Records Of Bell/Records|Records of Bell]] takes place during the time between when Tracy and Gilligan went their separate ways and when Tracy became Unholy Tracy.}''

''{OOC: Odd... I thought G&T takes place before all that...}''

''{OOC: That what I meant. G&T takes place right before RoB does.}''

''{OOC: Oh. Okay.}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Um... good for you?

'''IM A BELL:''' Not as bad as you may think. I get a reason to beat up my son. I say he's matricidal.

''{Chaos' Voice some on over a monitor.}''

'''CHAOS:''' Remember, Bell, You lost your Family Insurance when you Sweared at Epharim, the plucky young male accountant over at Mortal Stock Investments. Beating Tracy up too much could prove you a fatal and moronic move.

'''TRACY:'''''{yelling up from low-class shinigami floor}'' WE DON'T CARE!

''{The intercom turns off, and Tracy can be seen being thrown off of the top of the building by Chaos.}''

'''TRACY:'''''{grabs a windowsill, flings himself into the room, lands right beside Bell and Gilligan}'' Yo.

'''GILLIGAN:''' WHY HELLO THAR

'''IM A BELL:''' We do not like your kind up here.

'''TRACY:''' ... ''{punches Bell in the face}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' FALCON... PUUUUUUUUNCH!!!!!! ''{Punches bell in the stomach}''

'''IM A BELL:'''''{jumps up}'' FALCON KICK! ''{kicks Gilligan in the face}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Stinkoman voice}'' CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

''{Chaos comes back on the intercom.}''

'''CHAOS:''' Bell, The workers from the Cincinatti Branch are here to share your Malifact & Malifact Stock Portfolio options for 2009. Go wow them now!

'''IM A BELL:''' Right. ''{warps off}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Well, that fight was less epic then I expected.

'''CHAOS:''' ''{Over Intercom}'' Gilligan, will you please report to my office?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Huh. Wonder what the boss wants.

''{Cut to Chaos's office. Gilligan enters}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' What is it, sir?

'''CHAOS:''' Gilligan, we have confidential security footage of YOU stealing the cookie from the cookie jar!

'''GILLIGAN:''' What!? NO! I WAS SET UP! SET UP I TELL YOU!!!!!

'''CHAOS:''' Then explain...THIS!

''{Chaos presses a button, and a real-life video of a fat 30 year-old man dressed like Gilligan walks into a room and pulls a cookie out of a Trivia Time jar.}''

'''CHAOS:''' The person who sent this in to us said he SAW you committing this crime!

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{In a pheonix wright voice}'' OBJECTION! There is a huge contradiction in that tape! That person looks nothing like me!

'''CHAOS:''' Are you kidding! Just look at that gut! You need to work your Twees more often!

'''GILLIGAN:''' Thats not me! He isn't even part cat!

'''CHAOS:''' He's got kitty ears and a kitty tail...

'''GILLIGAN:''' THOSE ARE PLASTIC CLIP ONS!!!

''{the fat man looks at the camera, panics, and explodes}''

'''TRACY:''' There's even more proof! Gilligan isn't immortal, and I can sense that nobody has brought him back from the dead!

'''CHAOS:''' You can't do that. We got that from the security archives last week.

'''TRACY:''' Hmm... Wait a minute! Look at that! ''{points to a camcorder at the edge of the screen}'' And, now to prove it wasn't Gilligan! ''{pulls out a very similar camcorder, transforms into a fat man dressed as Gilligan, warps away, warps back a few seconds later}'' Done! ''I'' was the fat Gilligan! And I have the video evidence to prove it! Oh, FYI, I hid the cookie in your left pocket.

'''CHAOS:''' You idiot! You two failed the Resilience Check! I can give you half credit if you can tell me why.

'''TRACY:''' I like destroying the fabric of space, one thread at a time?

'''GILLIGAN:''' It's true!

'''CHAOS:''' No. Gilligan started here on Monday. It's friday, four days later, and the security video was shot a week, or 7 days ago.
And 4 minus 7 equals NEGATIVE 3.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ...What are ya, a complete moron or something?

'''TRACY:''' ...Sh-shut up. ''{opens a door, storms into it, slams it shut}'' ...I appear to have locked myself in a closet. Can you help me?

'''GILLIGAN:''' I was talking to Chaos, not you! ''{Mutters}'' Ya moron...

'''CHAOS:''' You're the idiot for not realizing the point of this: If you started here 4 days ago and we have footage of you doing something bad 3 days before you hired, and it wasn't obviously you, you should be able to notice it's too old of a recording to be valid. I even said that it was filmed last week.

'''TRACY:'''''{breaks out of closet}'' THERE WE GO. ...Don't worry, I'll pay for it. ...Hooray, everyone's dead. ''{walks off}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' You know what, Chaos? I QUIT! ''{Walks off}''

''{Cut to Gilligan's house, two weeks later. Tracy and Gilligan are there watching TV on the couch}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Well, I finally got a new job!

'''TRACY:''' Really? Where?

'''GILLIGAN:''' At the airport. I am now an offical private jet!

'''TRACY:''' ...Wh-Nevermind, I can guess what you mean. But, go ahead and explain, so if any idiots are watching, they can understand.

'''GILLIGAN:''' I basically fly people around to places like france. Y'know, that kinda stuff.

'''TRACY:''' Thought so. And for the REAL idiots, he uses his tail to fly. just like Tails.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Well, should we end this episode and begin our epic, super dramatic, two-parter?

'''TRACY:''' Sure.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Okay, on the count of 3... One... Two... THREE!

'''IT'S OVER!!!'''

Gilligan 'n' Tracy/Ep6. - Revision history

Poodlemuffin at 03:03, 24 September 2008