Poodlemuffin at 02:31, 2 July 2008

2008-07-02T02:31:27Z

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''{The episode starts off with Gilligan's apartment. Gilligan and Tracy are watching TV.}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' And thats how I saved you from that elephants stomach!

'''TRACY:''' Huh. I could have gotten out of the myself, though. ''{pulls out a machete}''

'''ON TV:''' Now in theaters! Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 57!

'''GILLIGAN:''' Why they decided to devide the seventh movie into 100 parts, I'll never know... Hey, we should go see it!

'''TRACY:''' One; Likely to cheat customers out of their money. Two; Sure. I have money to spare. ''{pulls out a five dollar bill, drops it onto the ground. It explodes a la Aqua Teen Hunger Force}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Okay... that doesn't usually happen. ''{Pulls out ten bucks.}'' Lets go! ''{Gets off couch and walks out followed by Tracy.}''

'''TRACY:''' Say, there's always something I wanted to ask you. Why do you live in an apartment?

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Walking down the stairs.}'' Cause It makes me feel free! Sure the pipes get broken half the time, I have rats crawling through my floorboards, and the landlord keeps barging in EVERY FREAKING DAY!!! But other then that its fine.

'''TRACY:'''''{follows}'' I could buy you your own house, you know. ''{gets out a roll of 1000 dollar bills}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Nah, thats okay.

''{The landlord appears right in front of Gilligan}''

'''LANDLORD:''' BLAH BLAH BLAH RENT BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

'''GILLIGAN:''' ...Ya know what, nevermind. Gimme the money.

''{A few seconds later...}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Gets in his red ferrari.}''

'''TRACY:'''''{gets in alongside him, hands him a blank check made out to him}'' It doesn't matter what the price is.

'''GILLIGAN:''' Thanks, buddy! ''{Puts check in pocket. Starts car. Drives off.}''

''{A half hour later...}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' I think we're almost to the theater.

'''TRACY:''' Good.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Drives into the parking lot.}'' It shouldn't be too hard to find a parking space.

''{One hour later...}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' We...are going... to die here!!!

'''TRACY:''' Um... I can do this. ''{points upward. a nearby parked van explodes}'' That help?

'''GILLIGAN:''' ...You scare me sometimes. ''{Parks in the space.}''

'''TRACY:''' Mwahaha.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Gets out of car.}''

'''TRACY:'''''{gets out of the car and walks up to the from of the theater}'' Yes, two tickets for the Harry Potter movie, please.

'''TICKET GUY:''' Sorry, all sold out.

'''RICH PERSON:'''''{walks up with small child}'' Two tickets for the Harry Potter movie, please. ''{hands the ticket person two hundred dollars}'' Keep the change.

'''TICKET PERSON:''' Yes sir! ''{hands the rich person two tickets}''

'''TRACY:''' Hmph.

''{cut to the concession stand. Tracy and Gilligan are there. blood is seen splattered on the door exiting the theater. There are policemen outside the door questioning the rich man}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{In line with Tracy}'' Did you see that guys face when we pulled out his spleen? ''{Laughs}'' Priceless...

'''TRACY:''' Yeah, and I can't believe the police thought the rich guy's kid did it! ''{laughs}''

''{Gilligan and Tracy are actually first in line}''

'''CONCESSION STAND GUY:''' ''{Staring at Gilligan and Tracy wide eyed}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' You didn't hear anything......

'''CONCESSION STAND GUY:''' But-

'''TRACY:'''''{sets own hand on fire(black flames}'' This burning hand says you heard NOTHING.

'''CONCESSION STAND GUY:''' O-okay... ''{Gulps}'' So... what would you like?

'''GILLIGAN:''' One extra-large popcorn, two medium sodas, one 7-up and one Coke, and 3 packs of gummy worms. Oh, and two packs of M&Ms.

'''TRACY:''' Erm... a large popcorn with blood and cheese on it, a large soda, and... um... ''{bends down to look at candies}'' What the- ''{stands up}'' And that box of fried rice down there. Er, and another large drink. Soy sauce.

'''CONCESSION STAND GUY:''' I'm sorry, but we don't serve soy sauce as-''{looks at Tracy's still-burning hand}'' Er, right away.

''{A few minutes later...}''

'''TRACY:''' So, where's the movie, Gilligan?

'''GILLIGAN:''' Our tickets say the movies playing in gate 16.

'''TRACY:''' Okay. ''{camera shift to doors marked the number Tracy says}{mumbling}'' One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen... ''{normal}'' Six- ''{camera shift to a tunnel marked "16"}{unenthusiastic}'' -teen. Why they built a tunnel leading to a theater, I'll never know.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Opens door to tunnel. Walks down stairs into the theater.}''

'''TRACY:'''''{follows Gilligan}'' Okay, let's find seats. Oh! How about THAT one! ''{points to two empty seats}''

'''FAT GUY:'''''{is sitting next to the two seats and is surrounded by buckets of popcorn}'' START THE MOVIE ALREADY! ''{chugs a bucket of popcorn}''

'''TRACY:''' Er, nevermind.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Points to two really good seats near the top row.}'' How about over there?

'''TRACY:''' Yeah, that'll work. And, if anyone sits in from of us with really large hair, I've come prepared. ''{pulls out shears}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Walks to the seats}''

'''TRACY:'''''{follows Gilligan}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Sits down}''

'''TRACY:'''''{does the same}''

''{trailers start}''

'''NARRATOR:''' Coming soon to a theater and/or YouTube near you...

''{A baby behind Gilligan and Tracy is crying really loudly.}''

'''TRACY:''' GRR... ''{puts muzzle on baby}''

'''MOTHER:''' HEY! You-

'''TRACY:''' Shut up. ''{puts muzzle on the mother}''

''{A guy enters the theater and sits down}''

'''GUY:''' A PREVIEW!?!? I DON'T WANNA SEE A PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''MOVIE SCREEN:''' S is for silence. Please be quiet during the following presentations.

'''GUY:''' SILENCE!?!? MORE LIKE "SUCKS"!!!!!! Ooooohhhh....... that burns!!!

'''TRACY:''' GRAAAH!!!! ''{attacks the guy, realizes it's Im a bell}'' Er... Oh. Um... Hey, dad, there's a corpse outside this theater!

'''IM A BELL:''' Hoorah! I was feeling hungry. ''{runs out}''

'''TRACY:''' There. He's gone.

'''MOVIE SCREEN:''' Now for our feature presentation...

''{30 minutes into the movie...}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Squirming in seat}'' ''{Whispering to Tracy}'' Dude, I gotta pee really badly...

'''TRACY:''' Right... ''{pauses time}'' Okay, the movie's stopped. Now go use the bathroom. ''{hands Gilligan a gun}'' Use this if any rats attack you.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Gets up and leaves. Comes back seconds later. Gives Tracy a big dead rat}'' This attacked me in the bathroom. You can have it. Its a present!

'''TRACY:''' Thanks. I was running low on blood for my popcorn. ''{pours rat's blood onto own popcorn, eats remains, restarts movie}''

''{An 9 year old boy behind Gilligan dumps soda on Gilligan's head}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' GAH!!!

'''BOY:''' ''{Laughs}''

'''TRACY:''' What-''{looks behind Gilligan, discovers the kid is the crying baby's brother}'' Wow. Ma'am, you are a HORRIBLE parent. You have a whining baby, a FRIGGING NINE YEAR OLD DUMPING SODA ON PEOPLE'S HEADS, and a teen who I believe is currently snorting cocaine. ...While smoking a cigarette. ...While drinking vodka.

''{the teen Tracy is describing lights himself on fire}''

'''TRACY:''' Oh. Oh my. Erm... I'll be right back, Gilligan. ''{gets up, grabs teenager, runs out. a few seconds later, Tracy and the teenager voip into their seats, but the teen looks like he has quit drugs and both are slightly older}'' There. I made him quit drugs and alcohol. With VIOLENCE. ''{grins evilly}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' I said it once, and I say it again... you scare me sometimes.

'''TRACY:''' Thank you.

''{40 minutes later...}''

''{All of Tracy and Gilligan's food is gone}''

'''BADSTAR:''' ''{Reaches into popcorn bucket}'' ...Huh? ''{Realizes bucket is empty}'' Oh...

'''TRACY:''' Crap. Well, let's get more food. It shouldn't take long, considering the concession stand worker is afraid of us.

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Exits theater followed by Tracy.}'' GAH!!! ''{Falls down on knees covering eyes}'' MY EYES!!!!

'''TRACY:''' What's wrong?

'''GILLIGAN:''' MY EYES!!! They must of been getting adjusted to the darkness. Now the light hurts my eyes.......

'''TRACY:''' Huh. Mine don't do that. I wonder why... Maybe they aren't working correctly. ''{pokes left eye, doesn't even flinch}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' Okay, I think I'm better now... ''{Gets up and walks to stand. Badstar is behind the concession stand. He looks the same, except his hat and boxing gloves are gone}'' Dad!? What are you doing here!?

'''BADSTAR:''' Making a cameo!

'''TRACY:''' Crap. This shall likely take longer than last time to get our food. I can't threaten my best friend's father...

'''BADSTAR:''' So, what would you like?

'''TRACY:'''''{gets out a tape recorder, presses play}''

'''TAPE RECORDER:'''''{Gilligan's voice}'' One extra-large popcorn, two medium sodas, one 7-up and one Coke, and 3 packs of gummy worms. Oh, and two packs of M&Ms. ''{pause}{Tracy's voice}'' Erm... a large popcorn with blood and cheese on it, a large soda, and... um... ''{pause}'' What the- ''{pause}'' And that box of fried rice down there. Er, and another large drink. Soy sauce.

'''TRACY:'''''{presses stop, puts away taper recorder}''

'''BADSTAR:''' Okay! But we don't serve soy sauce as a drink. Sorry.

'''TRACY:''' Um, okay then. I'll just get it myself. ''{summons a cup of soy sauce}''

'''BADSTAR:''' ''{Gives Gilligan and Tracy their food}'' There ya go! Enjoy the movie!

'''TRACY:''' Thanks. ''{walks ovver to theater 16, notices that there's a janitor standing in front of the cave}'' Um, could you move, please?

'''JANITOR:''' ...No.

'''TRACY:''' ...''{warps the janitor away. The janitor reappears stuckto the ceiling. Tracy walks through the cave}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Follows Tracy. Walks to their seats.}''

'''TRACY:'''''{sits down}''

''{a naked fat guy runs in and smashes into the movie screen}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ...WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!????!!!!!!!??????

'''TRACY:''' Hmm... ''{gets up, runs toward the fat guy}''

''{Im a bell runs toward the fat guy along with Tracy. They both grow large fangs and devour the fat guy. Bell disappears and Tracy warps back to his seat}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ... O_o

'''TRACY:''' I'm sorry you had to see that. ''{wipes blood off of his mouth}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ''{Looks at the broken movie screen.}'' Um... well, I guess the movies over...

'''TRACY:''' Considering everyone else ran out in terror, I'd say you're correct.

''{an army of naked fat guys run in. Tracy runs to them, and Bell reapears at thm. They both devour the fat guys}''

'''GILLIGAN:''' ...I'll go start the car. ''{Runs off}''

'''ITS OVER!!!'''

Gilligan 'n' Tracy/Ep1. - Revision history

Poodlemuffin at 02:31, 2 July 2008