JCM: ahem

2009-01-02T02:12:26Z

ahem

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''{Cut to a beautiful man with long, flowing hair, bearing a lamb in his arms. He is surrounded by a wonderful landscape of clouds.}''

'''BEAUTIFUL MAN:''' Hello, ''{pets the lamb}'' I am your narrator of sorts. Today, this edition of "doggie email" will feature a noticeable amount of drama.

''{JCM pops up through one of the clouds}''

'''JCM:''' Did someone say drama?

'''NARRATOR:''' Oh, JCM. ''{chuckles}'' When will you learn?

'''JCM:''' Someday, Mr. Narrator. ''{shrugs and looks at the camera, while a "WEH WEHHHHHHHH" sounds effect plays}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{as JCM exits the scenery}'' So long for now, young JCM. Well, without further ado, I give you...doggie email.

''{The crowd applauds as the introduction for doggie email plays. Cut to doggie writing in his journal}''

<pre>
Dear journal,
I really can't describe how I'm feeling.
It's just rather stressing on a young doggie
to have...you know, such a beautiful</pre>

''{After a chill runs up his spine, instinct kicks in as doggie looks over his shoulder. Kittie is standing there.}''

'''KITTIE:''' ''{inquisitively, motioning toward the journal}'' Meow, purr.

'''DOGGIE:''' ''{flabbergasted, he is unable to speak. He notices her catlike eyes for a brief moment. He tries to even stammer or stutter, but cannot, as he is too dumbfounded.}''

'''KITTIE:''' ''{becoming a bit annoyed at doggie not communicating like they used to}'' Meow, purr.

'''DOGGIE:''' ''{looks down at his paws and gulps. He is frustrated that he cannot thoroughly express himself.}''

'''KITTIE:''' ''{Her voice, slowly rising from a low, almost sultry voice, increasing into a more angered voice. Noticing his troubled appearance, her voice lowers back into a sympathetic tone.}'' Meow, purr.

'''DOGGIE:''' ''{he opens his mouth slowly, as if to say that he needs to be alone. Kittie cuts him off.}''

'''KITTIE:''' ''{as if to say that she understands, giving a reassuring nod}'' Meow, purr. ''{Kittie walks out}''

'''THECHEESE:''' ''{offscreen}'' NachoMan!

''{Doggie turns his head, wondering why TheCheese yelled}''

'''NACHOMAN:''' ''{offscreen}'' Stop yelling at me!

''{TheCheese and NachoMan run onscreen, yelling at each other.}''

'''THECHEESE:''' Look. I know you stole my girlfriend.

'''NACHOMAN:''' Dude, we're just friends. I promise you, it's cool.

'''THECHEESE:''' No, no, I don't even want to hear it. I helped you from getting evicted, man. ''{Tears begin to well up in TheCheese's eyes}'' I took you into my home, man! ''{he chokes up for a moment}'' I'm sorry...I just...care about you. I want you to understand that.

'''NACHOMAN:''' ''{taken aback}'' Look...Cheese. We didn't do anything. But, I'll respect your wishes and won't talk to her anymore. Can you forgive me?

'''THECHEESE:''' ''{fighting back the wall of tears behind his eyes}'' Of course. Can you forgive me?

'''NACHOMAN:''' I already have. ''{TheCheese and NachoMan stare into each others eyes for a moment. TheCheese looks away and blushes slightly. NachoMan glances away quickly.}''

'''THECHEESE:''' Well, thank you. ''{TheCheese and NachoMan share an embrace.}''

'''DOGGIE:''' ''{walking over, he begins to open his mouth to say that he appreciated both of them. He is cut off by TheCheese as he is noticed through tear-filled eyes.}''

'''THECHEESE:''' Oh. Doggie. Sorry you had to see me and NachoMan fight.

'''NACHOMAN:''' Yeah. No dog should ever have to see that.

''{Doggie gives a small nod.}''

'''THECHEESE:''' Well, I'm gonna go talk to Bluebry. He needs a friend right now.

'''NACHOMAN:''' ''{understanding and sympathetically}'' Okay. Send him my love.

''{Dinoshaur walks in carrying with him a poster of Jenny Corset McJiggles and places his bawls firmly on her face.}''

'''DINOSHAUR:''' Ungh! Mah bawls in yo face!

''{TheCheese walks off as the scene fades to black.}''

''{Cut to Bluebry's room. Bluebry is sitting on the bed, body curled in such a way as to exclude the entire world. TheCheese is lending a comforting hand on his shoulder.}''

'''THECHEESE:''' ''{seriously, looking into his eyes}'' Bluebry, I'm going to help you through this.

'''BLUEBRY:''' But you weren't there, man. I saw some things.

'''THECHEESE:''' All I know is that I care about you.

'''BLUEBRY:''' ''{thinks for a moment, then smirks}'' Thanks, man. I needed that. ''{TheCheese and Bluebry look at each other for a moment and at last, after what seems like an eternity, they hug.}''

'''THECHEESE:''' ''{after a brief moment of silence}'' Well...now what?

''{TheCheese's and Bluebry's legs fly up as they fall back onto the bed flailing}''

'''THECHEESE:''' What was that?

'''BLUEBRY:''' I don't know.

''{Doggie appears from under the bed, smiling his trademark smile.}''

'''THECHEESE AND BLUEBRY:''' ''{approvingly}'' Doggie.

''{The scene fades to black. Cut to doggie writing in his journal. The activities of the day have him a bit floored, so he only writes, unable to speak.}''

<pre>Well, these events have really done a number
on me. There's always some drama at this house.
But, we all love each other, and that is why
we always pull through it. I suppose it's time to
check some another email from my adoring fans.
(I have an influx of emails as I had a cameo as the Joker
in the new Batman movie).</pre>

''{Doggie walks over to his computer and types in "Doggiemail.exe" and the email pops up shortly:''

<blockquote>
dear doggie<br>
arf<br>
another doggie<br>
</blockquote>

'''DOGGIE:''' ''{Reads the email silently. He scans it again, to make sure that he read it right. Doggie's eyes widen, and he looks at the screen in horror.}''

'''NACHOMAN:''' ''{walking in}'' Hey, doggie. Checking email? ''{NachoMan throws doggie a bone, but it simply falls to the floor unnoticed}'' Let me...see what you have there. ''{He reads the email}'' Oh...doggie. ''{sympathetically}'' Do you think that it really is...

'''DOGGIE:''' ''{tearing up, unable to speak, he nods}''

'''NACHOMAN:''' ...Your real father.

''{The screen fades to black. "To Be Continued..." appears.}''

Doggie Emails/drama - Revision history

JCM: ahem