Conshow/71 - Revision history

Conchris at 18:49, 4 January 2015

2015-01-04T18:49:30Z

Conchris at 18:49, 4 January 2015

2015-01-04T18:49:19Z

Conchris at 17:44, 4 January 2015

2015-01-04T17:44:26Z

Conchris: WIP

2015-01-01T23:05:34Z

WIP

New page

'''WORK IN PROGRESS'''
== Summary ==
''Jake tries to find a new job, but keeps getting shut down. Will he find one to support his girlfriend AND his friends?''

== Transcript ==

''{Open: Jake and Katie's House (heretofore referred to as The House) - Living Room, Jake is lying on the couch watching TV. An excerpt from [[Animalia Investigatus/1|Animalia Investigatus]] is playing in the background, Katie walks in, carrying a pile of clothes}''

'''KATIE:''' Jake, sweetheart. Think you could help me carry this?

'''JAKE:''' Eh...

'''KATIE:''' Jake... I know you're feeling very demotivated but that's no reason to be--

'''JAKE:''' Eh...

'''KATIE:''' Jake... Don't make me get the killer robot out.

''{Forest bursts in, arm cannon primed}''

'''FOREST:''' The killer robot is already out, you bi-

''{A giant laser shoots out of the arm cannon, engulfing both Jake and Katie, cue [[Conshow/IntrosandCredits#Season 7|opening]]}''

''{Open: The House - Jake and Katie's room, an alarm clock beside the bed starts beeping wildly with Jake retaliating with a thwack, sitting up}''

'''JAKE:''' Guh...

''{Cut: Kitchen, Jake is eating cereal while Conchris and Forest talk in the background}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Blahblahblahblah--Dark Side--blahblahblahblah--Force--blahblahblahblah--Never forget--Bla-

'''FOREST:''' STOP YOUR STUPID BLABBERING BEFORE I END YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!

'''CONCHRIS:''' ''{feebly}'' ...okay...

''{Cut: The Streets, Jake is walking along}''

'''CHILD:''' ''{voice}'' Look mommy, it's the carrot man!

'''MOTHER:''' ''{voice}'' Now, now, dear. We all know that he looks like a carrot but that's--

''{Cut: Supermarket, Aria and Mr. Person are pushing a shopping cart along. They are about to reach the last can on the shelf until a blur speeds by, leaving nothing but a trace}''

'''ARIA:''' What?

''{Cut: Supermarket - Checkouts, Jake is scanning in groceries at a self-checkout, placing items in the bag and presses something on the screen}''

'''SELF CHECKOUT:''' Please wait for assistance.

'''JAKE:''' Augh, son of a--

''{Cut: The Streets, Jake is getting increasingly annoyed}''

'''MAN:''' Hey! Hey youse! Ya wants some watches? Sells them cheap! ''{beat}'' Okay, good talk.

''{Cut: The House, living room. Jake kicks the door open, throws the bags onto the ground and collapses onto the floor, waking Katie up who was sleeping on the couch}''

'''KATIE:''' Muh? Oh... Jake, you're home! How was your day?

'''JAKE:''' ''{muffled}'' Oh you know, awful.

'''KATIE:''' Pardon?

''{Jake picks himself up, dark rings under his eyes}''

'''JAKE:''' Same old, same old... ''{sighs}'' I don't think I like the unemployed life very much... but nobody wants me.

''{Katie slides over to Jake, placing her hands on his arms}''

'''KATIE:''' Of course people want you! I want you! Conches wants you. Aria and Mr. Person want you, too. I'm sure the job people who keep turning you down are just jealous of your accomplishments!

'''JAKE:''' I suppose... ''{places a finger on his chin}'' Hey, you think my week-long experience working at a run-down pizzeria as a night guard would count as experience in the security field?

'''KATIE:''' Uh... I suppose? Why? What entailed there?

'''JAKE:''' ''{nonchalantly}'' Oh, you know, watching the cameras, making sure everything is where they are... closing the doors, shining the lights, the works.

'''KATIE:''' Oh. Was it bad?

'''JAKE:''' Nope! And I still have the nightmares to prove it!

''{Conchris suddenly pops up from behind the pair of them}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' That's nice and all but, listen, Jake, is it okay if I use the house's power to supply my amusement park?

'''JAKE:''' Uh... I don't see why no--''{glares at Conchris}'' YOU BUILT A WHAT NOW?!

'''CONCHRIS:''' An amusement park! You know! For kids! And adults that are like kids! And... everyone really.

'''JAKE:''' ...what... prompted you...

'''CONCHRIS:''' I just felt like it. Oh, by the way, I went ahead and did it without your--

''{Screen suddenly goes dark, leaving naught but their eyes on-screen}''

'''JAKE:''' Great. Everyone hold still.

'''KATIE:''' Why?

'''JAKE:''' Just... stay... still...

''{Footsteps can be heard, followed by a music box playing which cuts out after five seconds, followed by more footsteps}''

''{Beat}''

'''JAKE:''' Okay, I think we're--

''{A loud scream is heard, cut short by the jump cut to the job agency}''

'''MAN:''' I'm sorry sir but you're underqualified for quite literally every job that I could think of, save for a couple. I'm of the belief that you probably hadn't been trying very hard at school, haven't you?

'''JAKE:''' ''{bruised, injured}'' Uh... I've did very well at school, Katie can vouch for me.

'''KATIE:''' That he did, sir.

'''MAN:''' Uh... huh... listen... a week's experience at a pizzeria, a single day of escorting a very important person, two years experience of tv show acting isn't going to cut it in this field.

'''JAKE:''' Well, give me any job! Any! Job. I'll do it! Even if it means...

''{Cut: Clark's Gift Shop, Clark is asleep at the counter before suddenly waking up to chimes being heard as an unseen door opens}''

'''CLARK:''' Wha? Oh! Uh... welcome to my gift shop! We got-- WHAT THE?!

'''WORK IN PROGRESS''

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:49, 4 January 2015
Line 141:		Line 141:
	'''CLARK:''' WHAT A BADASS!		'''CLARK:''' WHAT A BADASS!

−	'''~~WIP~~'''	+	''{Jake flexes his (lack of) muscles for a few before trundling on into the next room. Clark laces his fingers together, glaring evilly at the camera}''
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' Fool, now that Jake is under my command, I'll have him make a website and people will FLOCK to my store! And they'll buy my overpriced merchandise! And I'll become the richest man in all of Reedsen! WAHAHAHAHAH-
		+
		+	''{Clark's evil laughter is interrupted by Jake poking his head in from off-screen}''
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Hey, uh, what kind of font should I use for the header? I mean, I ''could'' use Helvetica Nui but that one's already taken... so's Arial Black... ''{glances down}'' ...in fact, I think the only font we have left is Comic Sans.
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' ...oh... well... use it anyway! WAHAHAHAHAHA!
		+
		+	''{Jake shrugs while Clark is frozen in his laughter, arms raised and all}''
		+
		+	'''JAKE:'' Well, it works... ''{unpeeks}''
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' ...soon people will come flock to my store, and I'll be rich! And famous... and I'll have a spaceship! MY VERY OWN SPACESHIP! HAHAHAHAHA--
		+
		+	''{Clark is suddenly startled by a sudden voice coming from the left side of the screen, the camera pans over to reveal that it is none other than...}''
		+
		+	'''CONCHRIS:''' Hi, yes, I'd like to buy this toaster. ''{places a toaster on the counter}'' Don't ask me any questions, Carl, I'd just like my appliance for... mechanical... reasons...
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' ...It's Clark, Conches... ''{narrows his eyes}'' What are you doing here anyway?
		+
		+	'''CONCHRIS:''' What? Oh, I heard about your store on the internet and I came to check it out... ''{looks around}'' ...not many people come here, do they?
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' Well... I have a website...
		+
		+	'''CONCHRIS:''' Also, you're a butt.
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' I REFUSE TO SERVICE YOU! GET OUT OF MY SHOP!
		+
		+	''{Cut: The House - Living Room, Conchris is working on something lying on the couch as Jake enters}''
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Oh... Conches... what are you doing on our couch?
		+
		+	'''CONCHRIS:''' It's... a thing.
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' A thing, huh? Not a toaster by any ch--
		+
		+	'''CONCHRIS:''' IT'S NOT A TOASTER! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
		+
		+	''{Beat}''
		+
		+	''{Cut: The Streets, Jake slams the door on Conchris, who is standing outside}''
		+
		+	'''CONCHRIS:''' Oh... guess I should look to see whose house it is before yelling that.
		+
		+	''{Timecard: One Week later, Cut: Clark's Gift Shop, Clark is slumped over the counter until a phone rings}''
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' Hello? Oh... uh... just one second.
		+
		+	''{Clark opens the door to the work room, Jake is watching cat videos on the computer which he hastily minimizes as he hears Clark}''
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Oh! Uh, hey, Clark, uhm, I just got the... parabulas... working...
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' Uh huh... do you anything about this free hotdog with every purchase of our microwaves deal?
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' I... uh... yeah?
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' Well... I just wanted to say... YOU'RE FIRED!
		+
		+	''{Cue credits, music is instead [http://savestates.bandcamp.com/track/deadly-space-action-why-did-that-happen-again-s2-credits-1 Why Did That Happen AGAIN? - Savestates]}''
		+
		+	<pre>
		+	Conshow Episode 71
		+	Written and Directed by Conchris
		+	Conchris, Jake, Katie, Clark, Mr. Person, Aria, Forest as themselves
		+	Phone Guy as Man on Phone
		+
		+	Next Episode:
		+	It Came From The Shallows</pre>
		+
		+	{{:Conshow/season7}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:44, 4 January 2015
Line 123:		Line 123:
	'''CLARK:''' Wha? Oh! Uh... welcome to my gift shop! We got-- WHAT THE?!		'''CLARK:''' Wha? Oh! Uh... welcome to my gift shop! We got-- WHAT THE?!

−	'''~~WORK IN PROGRESS~~''	+	''{Cut to reveal Jake, eyes half-lidded as he glares at Clark while holding up a newspaper ad}''
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Yes. Hi. I'm here to enquire about a job opening at this gift shop? ''{runs a finger on one of the aisles, dust collecting to his fingertip}'' People don't come by very often, do they?
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' They totally do! I, uh, well... ''{camera cuts to an isometric view of the shop}'' I guess people stopped coming here since last season...
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Huh... well, if you're hiring, I c-
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' You're hired.
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Wh- really? Well, uh... when do I start?
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' ''{points to the door beside him}'' Now. In there. I want a website, you good with computers?
		+
		+	'''JAKE:''' Are you kidding me? I'm a wiz at computers! ''{stands proudly}'' I'll have you know that I know all FIVE HTMLs!
		+
		+	'''CLARK:''' WHAT A BADASS!
		+
		+	'''WIP'''

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-'''WORK IN PROGRESS'''
 == Summary ==
 ''Jake tries to find a new job, but keeps getting shut down. Will he find one to support his girlfriend AND his friends?''