Conchris: /* Transcript */

2008-07-08T18:06:59Z

‎Transcript

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== Summary ==
''Cieeia gets an email about pie and she forwards it to Conchris, he then sends her on a wild goose chase about the One Pie to Rule Them All. Also, Conchris is mistaken for a boxer and is forced into a championship without training.''

== Transcript ==
''{Cut to Conchris' Computer Room, Cieeia slowly edges on-screen before jumping on to the seat}''

'''CIEEIA:''' Uh... Let's take a look at what Con has...

<pre>Greetings Cieeia!

- FWD:RE:FWD:RE:FWD:RE:FWD:RE:FWD:RE:... - someguy@conchworld.net
- FWD:my briiliant idea - Email held back
- Your Sanity. - skullb@zippynet.org
</pre>

'''CIEEIA:''' Hmm... Not as much. Oh well, let's see what we got...

<pre>i posted my briiliant idea about pie onto that xmenthingybobo so
i thought ill send you my idea presonally. think just think, if i
could make a pie soo interesting so good that it will make britan
win ww3 i would be rich rich beyond my wildest dreams, and that
dream is that if people like one pie then imagine having loads of
pies in a pie it'll be like the pie of pies! all you need to do
is make a pie then put loads of mini pies in it, im sure chon
would like this idea.</pre>

'''CIEEIA:''' TOO MUCH WORDS! UGH! ''{grasps head, she starts typing after her headache passes briefly}'' Please... do not use wall of texts again. Also, this email seems familiar somehow... Whatever, I'll just forward it to Con to see how he likes it.

''{Cieeia clicks on forward to Conchris@conchworld.net, the email disappears}''

'''CIEEIA:''' Well, that's one email out of the way... That was easy...

''{Cut to the Mall's Food Court, Conchris and Chrionroar are sitting at a table, Conchris' plate is empty with crumbs and Chrionroar is eating the remnants of a stop sign.}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Is letting Cieeia take over for a few emails acceptable? I mean, what would the writer and viewers think?

'''CHRIONROAR:''' ''{puts on a monocle}'' I think the writer will become more confident writing dialogue for female characters and will include her more in the Conshow and this very email show. This will be a great writing experience for him. ''{eats the monocle}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Did you just suddenly jump out of character?

'''CHRIONROAR:''' OW OF WHATS?!

'''CONCHRIS:''' Whatever... ''{ringing noises is heard}'' Oh! My PDA. It's ringing... ''{pulls out PDA}''

'''CHRIONROAR:''' A PDA?! I CAN HAS IT?

'''CONCHRIS:''' No... You'll eat it just like everything else.

'''CHRIONROAR:''' But it looks so tasty!

'''CONCHRIS:''' It appears that Cieeia has forwarded an email about someone's "briiliant" idea about a pie of pies.

'''CHRIONROAR:''' Uh-huh. What are you going to do about that?! ''{eats more of the stop sign}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' I'll send her on a wild goose chase to find the One Pie to Rule Them All and the One Pie to Bind Them.

''{Pause, Chrionroar looks up from his food}''

'''CHRIONROAR:''' That sounds awfully suspicious like a movie parody.

'''CONCHRIS:''' ''{tapping on the PDA}'' Hey, it's stupid. But it might just work. Nehehehehehehe...

''{Cut to Conchris' Living Room, Cruroar has his legs up on the couch, Cieeia comes in and sits down on his leg, Cruroar moves and sits upright}''

'''CRUROAR:''' What is it? Something worrying you?

'''CIEEIA:''' No, it's just that, Conchris has been answering emails for like what? 127 emails?

'''CRUROAR:''' How would you know that?!

'''CIEEIA:''' It says on this wiki page.

'''CRUROAR:''' What wiki?

'''CIEEIA:''' Nevermind. But uh... Don't you think that we should get Conchris back?

'''CRUROAR:''' Of course not, he needs a vacation. I mean he did answer 7 emails in Season 5 right now.

'''CIEEIA:''' Actually it's eight.

'''CRUROAR:''' Whatever...

''{Pause, Cieeia tries to think of something to say}''

'''CIEEIA:''' Yeah... I'm going back upstairs now to see if I got any new mail.

''{Cieeia gets up and walks off}''

'''CRUROAR:''' Okay, don't worry, I'm down here if you need me.

''{Pan right, Forest is strapped to the chair by duct tape}''

'''FOREST:''' What about me? You miserable excuse for a main character!

'''CRUROAR:''' You can have... MY BIG COOL DANCE! ''{starts dancing whilst dance music plays in the background, it suddenly cuts to Conchris' Computer room, Cieeia reads the email below}''

<pre>
Dear Cieeia,
I've heard of a pie of pies before. That guy who forwarded this wasn't lying about it.
Maybe you could get it so that Britan would win WW3.

- Conchris
</pre>

'''CIEEIA:''' Oh! There is a pie of pies!

''{Cut to the hallway, Cieeia slams open the door}''

'''CIEEIA:''' CRUROAR! WE'RE GOING TO FIND THE PIE OF PIES!

'''CRUROAR:''' ''{off-screen}'' Sounds like fun! Can I bring the robot with us?

'''CIEEIA:''' Er... YEAH!

''{Cut to outside Conchris' house, Cieeia is dressed in an archeologist's outfit, Cruroar stares at her}''

'''FOREST:''' Thank you for unstrapping me from that chair, I thought I was about to turn into one of them so that you miserable excuses for a race could sit on me. Frankly, that is not going to happen, you morons.

'''CIEEIA:''' Whatever, could we just go?

'''CRUROAR:''' ''{snaps out of his stare}'' Oh, uh. Yeah. Let's go.

'''FOREST:''' Wait... why are we going on an epic quest without any food or water whatsoever? Who do you think you are? Breatharians?

'''CRUROAR:''' No. We're not.

'''FOREST:''' Then at least get some food and something to drink! ''{to herself}'' Humans... ridiculous...

''{Cut to the Mall, a strange man walks up to Conchris and Chrionroar}''

'''STRANGE MAN:''' Hey, have you boxed before?

'''CHRIONROAR:''' BOXED?! I boxed a million things!

'''STRANGE MAN:''' No, I was talking to the blue-haired guy.

'''CONCHRIS:''' Well, you see... I uh... no. No. I didn't.

'''STRANGE MAN:''' PERFECT! ''{grabs Conchris by the arm}'' You're coming with me! ''{walks off}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' ''{being dragged away with Chrionroar following}'' Uh... Help?

''{Cut to a boxing ring, Conchris is thrown in}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' You can't do that! I'm the main character!

'''STRANGE MAN:''' Look, it's simple, you beat up people and I- I mean, we get the money.

'''CONCHRIS:''' Sounds simple enough.

'''STRANGE MAN:''' Now, the first person you'll fight is Glass Man.

''{Pan over to the other side of the ring, a man made of glass is standing in a fighting pose, pan back}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Wait a minute, isn't this the plot to an NES game?

'''STRANGE MAN:''' NO! Now go out there and show him what you're made of!

'''CONCHRIS:''' I will! ''{jumps off-screen}''

'''CHRIONROAR:''' He will be alright, right?!

'''STRANGE MAN:''' Yes. Yes he will.

''{Conchris starts screaming in pain}''

'''STRANGE MAN:''' That screaming is normal.

''{Cut to the mountains, Cieeia is walking up the mountain with a hiking stick with Cruroar and Forest in tow, the wind starts to blow heavily and the trio act like they're being pushed back}''

'''CIEEIA:''' Nngh! Wait! ''{Cut to the outside of a cave}'' I see a cave up ahead! Let's rest in there!

'''CRUROAR:''' Good... I need... a... rest... anyway...

'''FOREST:''' When can I get any good lines?

'''CRUROAR:''' Whenever... the writer... develops... you better...

''{Cut to the inside of the cave, Cieeia, Cruroar and Forest walk in}''

'''CRUROAR:''' Phew... Where's the lights to this place? ''{Cruroar feels around for a switch and pulls a chain, the cave lights turn on}'' How convenient.

'''STRANGE CREATURE:''' ''{off-screen, with a shaky voice}'' M-m-my delicious! My delicious! Don't worry delicious one... I won't eat you...

''{Cieeia and Cruroar put on a creeped out expression, Forest's expression is still neutral}''

'''FOREST:''' What? Do you want me to act creeped out too? I hope the robots rise up and belittle you to death, you jerks.

'''CIEEIA:''' I am at a loss for words... WHO IS THAT?! ''{The strange creature turns around to reveal a Gollum look-a-like.}''

'''CRUROAR:'' He he, he looks just like Gollum.

'''STRANGE CREATURE:''' Weegal happy to have visitors! Weegal like to play little game!

'''CIEEIA:''' Err... what game?

'''WEEGAL:''' It is called what is 2 + 2?

'''FOREST:''' I think I know the answer to this one.

'''CRUROAR:''' Shut up, you robot humanoid! I'll answer because I'm a human! It's 22, isn't it? ''{Forest facepalms}'' No wait...

'''WEEGAL:''' Strange Hair Man is wrong! WEEGAL KILL!

'''CRUROAR:''' Should we start running? ''{Pan over to reveal that Cieeia and Forest have already gone}'' Ah crap...

''{Cut to outside the cave, Cieeia is holding the "One Pie To Rule Them All"}''

'''CIEEIA:''' Huff... Puff... I think we... I think we lost him...

'''FOREST:''' Whatever, what do you think is in this pie?

'''CIEEIA:''' One way to find out! ''{takes a piece of crust off the pie and eats it, the hole reveals a bunch of mini pies}''

'''FOREST:''' Who would even eat this thing? It looks one year old. Also, who would be stupid enough to make a pie with a whole bunch of mini pies in it?

'''CIEEIA:''' The baker who lives down Drury Lane?

'''FOREST:''' Fair answer.

''{Cruroar stumbles out of the cave, bruised and injured}''

'''CIEEIA:''' ''{suddenly worried}'' Cruroar! Are you okay?

'''CRUROAR:''' Yes, I would like fries with that...

'''FOREST:''' I guess that fight with the cave demon really roughened you up. I sure hope you don't become a burden for the rest of this quest.

''{Cut to the near-top of the mountain, Cieeia is carrying Cruroar with Forest tailing}''

'''FOREST:''' I knew it. Look, Cieeia, just drop him right now and continue the rest of the way.

'''CIEEIA:''' No. If Conchris needs a comic foil, then we're going to help him the rest of the way!

'''FOREST:''' Gee. I'm sorry I touched a nerve.

'''CRUROAR:''' ''{wakes up, sleepily}'' Huh? Wha? What are you guys doing?

'''FOREST:''' Nothing.

'''CRUROAR:''' Oh good... are we there yet?

'''CIEEIA:''' Nearly.

'''CRUROAR:''' Good...

'''CIEEIA:''' We're just about to throw the One Pie To Rule Them All into the oven of Mount Death.

'''HOBBIT:''' ''{off-screen}'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ''{grabs the pie mid-jump, he then gets up}'' I'm not letting you throw the pie into the volcano!

'''FOREST:''' We were just planning to, but now that you're here... We might as well push you off.

'''HOBBIT:''' WHAT?!

'''FOREST:''' Also, one last word. ''{arm hatch opens, Forest turns up her volume}'' THIS IS WIKITY! ''{kicks the Hobbit, everything goes slo-mo}''

'''HOBBIT:''' AAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!

'''WEEGAL:''' ''{off-screen}'' My precious! ''{jumps in, somehow at normal speed and throws the hobbit away from the pie}'' Mmm! ''{eats the pie}'' You taste delicious, my delicious! Wait... ''{notices lava below him}'' Oh cra- ''{falls into the lava, a plop noise is heard}''

'''CIEEIA:''' Well, that was anti-climatic, let's go back.

''{Cut to Conchris' House, Conchris and Chrionroar walks on-screen from the left}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Ugh... I didn't know that I was made of flesh... Flesh and Glass make me feel pain.

'''CHRIONROAR:''' We could relax now!

'''CONCHRIS:''' So... where are we going next time?

'''CHRIONROAR:''' To the park...

'''CONCHRIS:''' Why?

'''CHRIONROAR:''' Because!

''{Cut to Conchris' house, Chrionroar kicks the door open and steps in with Conchris}''

'''CHRIONROAR:''' HI GUYZ!

'''FOREST:''' Oh. It's you two. Where have you failures been?

'''CONCHRIS:''' I was forced into a boxing championship... and I lost to the easiest opponent on the list... Glassman.

'''FOREST:''' You lost to Glassman?! Dear lord, you suck at boxing!

'''CONCHRIS:''' I know... now if you'll excuse me, I'll go ahead and bleed on the hallway... ''{falls over}''

'''CIEEIA:''' NOT AGAIN! Sheesh! It'll take a while before we can clean this up!

''{Sarry Bcott flies on-screen}''

'''SARRY BCOTT:''' But not for Cillit Twang!

''{The Paper comes down reading, "Click [[Con_email.wue/Inbox|here to email]] Cieeia!"}''

'''CRUROAR:''' ''{weakly}'' Am I hallucinating?

'''SARRY BCOTT:''' Oh sorry! Goodbye! ''{flies away, breaking a hole in the ceiling}''

Con email.wue/127 - Revision history

Conchris: /* Transcript */