Conchris: Notice how longer the emails have gotten as time went on?

2008-08-07T15:19:53Z

Notice how longer the emails have gotten as time went on?

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[[Image:Conemailseason4.PNG]]
== Summary ==
''Cruroar takes over the show and realises he won like a million dollars, but soon, he notices that it ain't real.''

'''Cast:''' Conchris, Cruroar, Voice (Voice Only), Bubs, Pom Pom (Easter Egg)

'''Page Title:''' Spam 'mails suck. They deserve to be baleeted...

== Transcript ==
''{Pause, Conchris walks in}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Err... Look, I don't have a computer, why don't you ask Cruroar to see what today's email is...

''{Quick Camera pan to Cruroar}''

'''CRUROAR:''' Let's see what email Conchris has for today...

<blockquote class=email><div>Subject: Congratulations!</div>
To the E-Mail User, "Conchris"<br />
YOU HAVE WON 1 MILLION BUCKS! SERIOUSLY! PASS IT ON AND NEONE CAN GET 1 MILLION BUCKS<br />
JOE</blockquote>

'''CRUROAR:''' Who's this Joe dude? But seriously, a million dollars? If only if...

'''VOICE:''' Do it, Cruroar. It's beckoning you to do it...

'''CRUROAR:''' NEVER! It's fake!

'''VOICE:''' Just do it. Nobody may never know...

'''CRUROAR:''' Okay! Fine! I'll do it.

<blockquote class=email>Forward to conchrisnospam@spamsucks.com</blockquote>

'''CRUROAR:''' THERE! Happy?

'''VOICE:''' Yes.

''{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' ...and that is why I need a computer.

'''BUBS:''' Well, we have this slightly shotgunned Compy here...

'''CONCHRIS:''' No, it looks stupid.

'''BUBS:''' How about the broken Tandy that the King gave back?

'''CONCHRIS:''' I'm not going to trust the company who made that computer.

'''BUBS:''' Well... umm... How about the Lappy?

'''CONCHRIS:''' ARE YOU KIDDING? I don't want to have the same compy as that Strong Bad guy.

'''BUBS:''' Well how about the crushed and exploded Smandy...

'''CONCHRIS:''' The Smandy was old, it doesn't deserve a second... err... third chance.

'''BUBS:''' Well, I can't help you.

'''CONCHRIS:''' Okay then. ''{pulls out a phone out of nowhere}'' Hello? Smandy is dead? Can you redirect me to the new Smandy? What? It's called Owndy now? Thanks. ''{chucks phone offscreen}''

'''BUBS:''' Why didn't you do that before?

'''CONCHRIS:''' Because I wanted to. Anyway, my Owndy 777 will be in my computer room right...

''{Cut to the computer room, a computer pops in out of nowhere, cut back to Bubs}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' ...now. I'd better go.

'''BUBS:''' Well, you owe me 5 dollars for just standing there.

''{Conchris pulls a 5 dollar bill out of nowhere and gives it to Bubs, while he is examining it, Conchris runs off, cut back to the computer room}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Let's try it out.

''{The Owndy 777 starts up}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Cool! It works!

''{A sprite that looks like Rather Dashing walks on screen with the words in a box}''

<pre>Hello! I am your email assistant!
I help you check email and find spam and BURNiNATE them.
What shouldst thou dou?</pre>

'''CONCHRIS:''' I never seen one before... Not even on a Smandy compy. Meh whatever, I'll just turn him off for now and open up the email client manually.

''{Conchris right-clicks on the sprite and selects 'LEAVE ME ALONE PATHETIC THING THAT GETS IN THE WAY!' and the sprite's head asplodes and disappears}''

'''CONCHRIS:''' Wow, that was new, anyway, let's see what I have...

<blockquote class=conchris>
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Email || Subject || Date of receiving
|-
| Cruroar@cheatnet.com || FW:FW:FW:FW:CONGRATULATIONS! || 31 July 2006
|-
| Owndy@Smandy.com || Thanks for keeping up with us! || 31 July 2006
|-
| cruriroar@concrewownsyou.com || ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! || 28 July 2006
|-
| cooksar@notacookreally.com || Hey there stupid! I brought you this stuff! || 16 July 2006 (Nearing Baleetion)
|-
|}<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
</blockquote>

'''CONCHRIS:''' Okay, let's see... Let's check the top one.

<blockquote class=conchris><div>Subject: Congratulations!</div>
To the E-Mail User, "Conchris"<br />
YOU HAVE WON 1 MILLION BUCKS! SERIOUSLY! PASS IT ON AND NEONE CAN GET 1 MILLION BUCKS<br />
JOE</blockquote>

'''CONCHRIS:''' You can't catch me out you fake spam of an email! I knew Cruroar can be easily fooled! BALEETED!

<blockquote class="email" style="background-color: blue"><big><big><big><center>BALEETED!</center></big></big></big></blockquote>

'''CONCHRIS:''' And with that, I'm gone. ''{Conchris gets up}''

{{thepaperconchris|wittyremark=NO PATHETIC ASSISTANT CAN REPLACE ME! I AM THE ALL POWERFUL THE PAPER!}}

== Fun Facts ==

== Easter Eggs ==
*Click on the Owndy 777's screen to make the assistant appear and say something
**The assistant may say:
***Hello! I am an annoying assistant! May I destroy your document that you worked so hard on?
***Hello! I am an annoying assistant! Watch me as I block your screen with mindless images of spelling, my way.
***Hello! I am an annoying assistant! You spelt 'a' wrong. It's supposed to be 'q'

*Click on the assistant to view [[Con_email.exe/110#Easter Egg Transcript 1|Cruroar talking to Pom Pom.]]

=== Easter Egg Transcript 1 ===
''{Cut to The Field}''

'''CRUROAR:''' Pom Pom, I forwarded an email and I didn't get what I was promised. Should I stop listening to my voices in my head?

'''POM POM:''' ''{bubbling}''

'''CRUROAR:''' Yeah, I should probably do that.

'''VOICE:''' Do what?

'''CRUROAR:''' ''{close up, with a burning background, Cruroar's eyes turn red and his voice is distorted}'' DESTROY YOU ALL! ''{cut to view the entire field again, Pom Pom has a confused expression}'' Oops, I mean, ignore you, you stupid voice.

''{Cut back to the computer room}''

== Author's Comment ==
3/5 - Introduction of a new computer and a simple 3 character email. Guess it's back to basics then.

Con email.wue/110 - Revision history

Conchris: Notice how longer the emails have gotten as time went on?