https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Brooks%3A_A_Life_in_Five_ActsBrooks: A Life in Five Acts - Revision history2026-04-26T01:58:52ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.28.2https://wuw.clamburger.org/w/index.php?title=Brooks:_A_Life_in_Five_Acts&diff=73221&oldid=prevThe Noid at 23:14, 14 November 20082008-11-14T23:14:53Z<p></p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>==Act I==<br />
A middle aged man stood on his boat.<br />
<br />
A fishing rod was in his hand.<br />
<br />
His sultry wife came out of the cabin and kissed him on the cheek.<br />
<br />
"Honey," she said, "I have something to tell you."<br />
<br />
"What is it?" he asked.<br />
<br />
"I...I'm sleeping with your brother."<br />
<br />
The man turned to face his wife, expecting tears in her eyes.<br />
<br />
There were no tears.<br />
<br />
The man pushed his wife to the deck.<br />
<br />
He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.<br />
<br />
He produced a bat from his closet.<br />
<br />
He swung at his wife, hitting her in the face.<br />
<br />
He did this until she was on the floor.<br />
<br />
The wife started laughing.<br />
<br />
"You think this is funny?" he asked in outrage.<br />
<br />
"Yes." the wife answered.<br />
<br />
The man swung at her. She caught the bat and hit the man with it.<br />
<br />
She started taking off her makeup and wig, exposing herself as a man.<br />
<br />
The man produced a knife from his pocket.<br />
<br />
He slashed the other man in the throat three times.<br />
<br />
When the boat had docked, the body was buried next to that of his wife's on the beach.<br />
<br />
==Act II==<br />
Brooks sat in a McDonald's booth, admiring his number 7 hamburger.<br />
<br />
The warm patty, soft bun, crisp lettuce, delectable tomato slices... <br />
<br />
And then the ketchup, so thick, so warm.<br />
<br />
Brooks raised the hamburger to his mouth. <br />
<br />
He took a long sniff in. <br />
<br />
He sighed with satisfaction and took a juicy bite into the burger. <br />
<br />
His taste buds trembled at the taste. <br />
<br />
Brooks continued eating his meal, and went on his way. <br />
==Act III==<br />
Officer Oglesby sat in his patrol car, driving along the road. <br />
<br />
A homeless beggar ran in front of his car, and Officer Oglesby, too distracted by the woman showing too much of her body walking down the corner, hit him.<br />
<br />
Officer Oglesby ran out of the car and held up the beggar. <br />
<br />
"Are you okay?" he asked. <br />
<br />
The beggar turned his face to officer Oglesby. <br />
<br />
"Just peachy." he said. <br />
<br />
The beggar quickly stabbed Officer Oglesby and threw him in the back of his cop car. <br />
<br />
He took off his fake beard, revealing himself to be Brooks. <br />
<br />
"We're going on a trip, officer!" Brooks said. <br />
<br />
==Act IV==<br />
Brooks was standing in line at the ATM. <br />
<br />
A man was talking loudly in front of him. <br />
<br />
A teenager, almost certainly under some influence, was behind him. <br />
<br />
The line did not move for six minutes and twelve seconds. <br />
<br />
The talking man was in front. <br />
<br />
He stayed there for forty-three seconds. <br />
<br />
It was Brooks's turn. <br />
<br />
Brooks fished through his pocket and pulled out a leather wallet. <br />
<br />
And out of that, he pulled a flat, 20 dollar bill. <br />
<br />
Brooks stuck the dollar in the slot. <br />
<br />
He then pulled a white sock out of his pocket. <br />
<br />
Several coins fell out of the ATM. <br />
<br />
Brooks scooped them up into the sock and went on his way. <br />
<br />
==Act V==<br />
<br />
Brooks was in his basement. <br />
<br />
Oglesby was tied upside down to a pole. <br />
<br />
Brooks paced around him, admiring his naked body. <br />
<br />
He then took out the sock and swung at him. <br />
<br />
Oglesby screamed in pain. <br />
<br />
Brooks continued to torture him, laughing with glee. <br />
<br />
He heard a knocking on his door upstairs. <br />
<br />
"I'll be right back," Brooks said. <br />
<br />
Brooks went upstairs and found a girl scout on his doorstep. <br />
<br />
She was offering cookies. <br />
<br />
Brooks examined her as much as he could. <br />
<br />
He then bought some cookies and sent her on her way. <br />
<br />
Brooks shut the door, cookies in hand. <br />
<br />
Turning the corner, somebody jumped out behind him. <br />
<br />
Oglesby hit him in the back of the head with the sock. <br />
<br />
Brooks fell to the floor, dropping the cookies everywhere. <br />
<br />
Oglesby picked up a lamp and beat Brooks with it.</div>The Noid