The Wheelchair: Image!

2010-05-28T19:24:07Z

Image!

New page

<center>http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y220/lombre459/Profiles/BLemail/BLEmail3Image.png</center> 
Blue Laser does his best Kool-Aid Man impression. Yeah, you read that right.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[Hrwiki:Blue Laser Commander|Blue Laser]], [[HRwiki:Blue Laser Minion|Blue Laser Minon]], [[Blue Lasermail#Redd Laser|Redd]], [[HRwiki:Flashfight|Flashfight]], [[Blue Lasermail#Lemmy|Lemmy]]

'''Places:''' Computer Room, [[HRwiki:Blue Laser Commander's Nana's Backyard|Nana's Backyard]], The Sky, BEEFF Headquarters

'''Computer:''' Blasty 987

'''Date:''' Thursday, February 11, 2010

'''Page Title:''' Blasty Time!!

== Transcript ==
'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{singing}'' Email! Email! E-e-e-e-e-e-e-email! ''{brings up an email}''

<blockquote class="bluelaser">Dear Blue Laser, 
Being the evil genius type, do you 
build any kind of flying machines? 
How do you feel about flying? 
Yours, 
Zarel</blockquote>

'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{nervously}'' Of course I have a flying machine. I love flying! What kind of useless villain doesn't have a flying machine? A useless one, that's what kind. Uh.. I have to go! ''{runs offscreen}''

''{Cut to Nana's Backyard. This is a large curtain set up, and construction noises can be heard from behind it. Blue Laser enters.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' So how's it going back there, guys?

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' ''{from behind curtain}'' We're almost finished!

'''BLUE LASER:''' Fantastic!

''{Pan right to show Redd standing there.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' Redd! I see you're completing your portion of the project nicely!

'''REDD:''' You assigned me to stand around and do nothing.

'''BLUE LASER:''' Of course! I can't have you messing up my flying machine with your dumb physics!

'''REDD:''' ''{annoyed}'' I hope you realize I'm the only one here with even a lick of knowledge about air travel.

'''BLUE LASER:''' Fine! You're head of ground communications. ''{tosses Redd a headset}'' But don't you dare mess this up!

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' ''{leaning in from offscreen}'' She's ready, sir!

''{The curtain is pushed aside to reveal a small and poorly constructed plane. It has an "Air Laser" logo and... headlights?!}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' She's... beautiful! ''{jumps into cockpit}'' Alright minions, hit me with the launch precautions!

''{The Blue Laser Minion pulls out a paper.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' ''{reading}'' "Air Laser Pre-Launch Pre-Flight Pre-Cautions." Firstly, the Air Laser runs at a steady two miles per hour. Any attempt to make it go faster will result in spontaneous combustion. Secondly, The red button-

''{Cut to show a large red button on the Air Laser's control panel.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' -is for emergencies only. It does not double as an arm rest.

''{Cut back to the Blue Laser Minion.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' Thirdly and finally, there is a stock of parachutes under the seat cushion, these are to be used for war tactics, evacuating, or getting the crap out of dodge. They are not-

'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{interrupting}'' Enough already! Time for launch!

''{Blue Laser pulls on a lever and the Air Laser blasts into the air.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' I'm flying! That Zarel kid was right, this is awesome! ''{grabs a walkie-talkie}'' Ground control, do you read?

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' Codename Shirley, this is ground control, I read!

'''BLUE LASER:''' I never agreed to that codename!

'''REDD:''' But the New Girl said you-

'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{interrupting}'' Shut up! So okay, according to this I'm flying at an altitude of... Why is our altitude meter a magic eight ball?

''{Cut to show the "altitude meter", a Magic 8 Ball reading "Yes you can!"}''

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' It was all your minions could find on short notice.

''{Cut back to the full view of the plane.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' Oh. Anyway, I have a building in my sights. No way!

''{Cut to show a skyscraper with a sign on it reading "BEEFF HQ".}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' It's the Borough of Every Elite Fighting Force's headquarters! Para-trooping time!

''{Blue Laser lowers altitude to aim the plane directly at the building.}''

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' Uh, why are you getting ready to fly into the side of the building?

'''BLUE LASER:''' What are you, deaf? I just said I'm para-trooping!

''{Cut back to the backyard, where Redd is watching the scene on Blue Laser's supercomputer.}''

'''REDD:''' I'll ask again. Why are you getting ready to fly into the side of that building?

''{Cut back to the plane.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' Look, are you trying to tell me that para-trooping isn't flying into the enemy base in an attempt to cause as much structural damage as possible?

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' No, it actually involves having paratroopers.

'''BLUE LASER:''' Oh. Crap.

''{The Air Laser crashes into the building. Cut to inside where the vehicle is protruding into what appears to be a janitor's closet. Flashfight walks up.}''

'''FLASHFIGHT:''' What the blazes happened here?

'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{dazed}'' Alright, how much structural damage did I cause?

'''FLASHFIGHT:''' Very little, luckily. Seems all you succeeded in doing was destroying the janitor's closet. Now follow me so we can get this arrest over quickly.

'''BLUE LASER:''' Bull honkey! I'm not surrendering! Time to fire the missiles!

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' Yeah.. we didn't really install any missiles.

'''BLUE LASER:''' Oh. Well then, time to turn on the brights.

''{Blue Laser presses a button and the Air Laser's headlights come on.}''

'''FLASHFIGHT:''' ''{covering his eyes}'' My eyes! ''{runs away}''

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' Alright, now get out of there before Flashfight realizes he's wearing sunglasses!

''{Blue Laser presses a few buttons, but the Air Laser only shakes a bit.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' It's not starting!

'''REDD:''' ''{over walkie-talkie}'' Hmm.. must have been damaged in the crash. Does the emergency button still work?

''{Blue Laser presses the button, and the Air Laser blasts backwards at high speed, knocking Blue Laser out. Cut to outside the building's entrance, where Lemmy is leaving.}''

'''LEMMY:''' And if it gives you any more problems, just stick a Sega tape in the VCR slot or something. That oughta do the trick.

''{Lemmy continues walking. Blue Laser can be heard screaming in the background, and after a few moments falls on Lemmy. Blue Laser lies there for a moment before grabbing the walkie-talkie.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{weakly}'' Yup. Still works.

'''LEMMY:''' ''{weakly}'' Ohhhhhhhh... That's it. I'm doubling your cable bill.

''{Cut back to the Blasty.}''

'''BLUE LASER:''' ''{typing}'' You see what you did, Zack? Now I'm stuck paying double for my cable! Oh well, it's worth it. You won't find a more reliable cable provider than Lemmy.

''{Cut to the living room, where Blue Laser and Redd are watching TV.}''

'''TUCKSWORTH:''' ''{on TV}'' Caleb, did you paint flames on my car?

'''BLUE LASER:''' Oh yeah. It's like I'm right there, right in the action.

''{Cut to the TV screen. The picture is in black and white and is hardly comprehensible.}''

'''CALEB:''' ''{on TV}'' I did now.

''{The Laserjet Paper comes down.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*Click on the TV screen at the end to see Redd and a minion chatting in Nana's Backyard.
'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' So how'd you get to be head of ground communications? 
'''REDD:''' Well, you know. Hard work, determination... 
'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' You begged, didn't you? 
'''REDD:''' Yeah, pretty much.

==Fun Facts==
*Redd calling Blue Laser "Shirley" is a reference to the 1980 film [[Wikipedia:Airplane!|Airplane!]]

Blue Lasermail/flying machine - Revision history

The Wheelchair: Image!