Lucian Summers: New page: Cast ''{in order of appearance}'': Tom, Axel, Tex, Austin, TJ, various RPG type monsters, Zarel, Aruseus, Chuck Norris (easter egg) Places: Courtroom, Random Valley Computer: None Date:...

2009-01-09T20:22:41Z

New page: Cast ''{in order of appearance}'': Tom, Axel, Tex, Austin, TJ, various RPG type monsters, Zarel, Aruseus, Chuck Norris (easter egg) Places: Courtroom, Random Valley Computer: None Date:...

New page

Cast ''{in order of appearance}'': Tom, Axel, Tex, Austin, TJ, various RPG type monsters, Zarel, Aruseus, Chuck Norris (easter egg)

Places: Courtroom, Random Valley

Computer: None

Date: January 9th, 2009

== Transcript ==

''{Cut to the Courtoom, two officers carry off Axel}''

'''TOM:''' So it was him all along. Murder, for attention.

'''AUSTIN:''' That's what happens when you don't get enough screentime.

'''TEX:''' What are they going to do to him?

'''TOM:''' Well, TJ decided that he didn't need Axel anymore, so they're going to throw him in a car crusher.

'''TEX:''' It's like a guillotine, but for androids.

'''TOM:''' Yup. And a guillotine wouldn't work anyway, he'd still somehow get his head reattached.

'''TEX:''' Speaking of which, random question. Austin, is that a mask or is your head just made of bone-NO THAT WASN'T MEANT TO BE AN INSULT.

'''AUSTIN:''' Well, truth is...it's a mask. As a memorial my race will wear the skull of their deceased parent on their head.

''{Tom and Tex both stare awkwardly at Austin}''

'''AUSTIN:''' WHAT?! It's just culture!

'''TOM:''' Speaking of deceased, now we have no more Arumail!

'''TEX:''' No more entertainment.

'''AUSTIN:''' No more idiocy.

''{Tom glares at Austin}''

'''TOM:''' Okay, I SAY WE BRING HIM BACK!

'''TEX:''' Yes...but how?

'''TOM:''' We go on some cheesy quest to collect some stuff and make a wish and crap that'll bring our buddy back!

'''AUSTIN:''' Or we could ask TJ.

'''TJ:''' ''{offscreen}'' I prefer the cheesy quest!

'''AUSTIN:''' Damn it!

''{cut to a random valley}''

'''AUSTIN:''' So why are we in this random valley?

'''TOM:''' We have to use the Komodo Map to find the seven Komodo Orbs! After that, we use them to summon the mighty dragon, Shinguard, who will grant us a wish, and then just wish for Aruseus to come back and BAM! Quest over.

'''TEX:''' Is this some obligatory anime reference?

'''TOM:''' Right! Because references are what make email shows go 'round!

'''AUSTIN:''' So what the hell do these even look like?

'''TOM:''' Well, Komodo Orbs are red orbs with a different number of squares ranging from one to seven. Collect all seven, and make a wish.

'''AUSTIN:''' Holy crap! A random encounter!

''{The screen does a black spiral transition. The three heroes (Tom, Tex, and Austin) appear on an RPG-esque scene. The following messages appear}''

<pre>
Slime Appears!
</pre>

'''TEX:''' ''{voiceover}'' Generic RPG enemy. Woo.

<pre>
Tex attacks!
1 damage to Slime! (19/20)
</pre>

'''TEX:''' ''{voiceover}'' Come on!

<pre>
Tom casts Fireball!
1 damage to Slime! (18/20)
</pre>

'''TOM:''' ''{voiceover}'' Damn, I suck.

<pre>
Austin attacks!
467 damage to Slime! (-485/20)
</pre>

'''TOM:''' ''{voiceover}'' What the?!

<pre>
Slime has fallen!
</pre>

'''TOM:''' ''{voiceover}'' Damn you, Austin...

<pre>
Austin gained 30 XP!
Tex gained 20 XP!
Tex is now Level 3!
Tom gained 20 XP!
</pre>

<pre>
Your party collected a rusty dagger!
30G obtained!
</pre>

''{Cut back}''

'''TOM:''' Well that was pointless!

'''TEX:''' I gained a level! Don't call it pointless!

'''AUSTIN:''' Wait...what's that?

''{Pan to see the 2-square Komodo Orb}''

'''TOM:''' A Komodo Orb! Let's get it!

''{The three run on to grab it, but before they can, they freeze and the spiral transition comes up again}''

''{RPG BATTLE TIEM}''

'''TOM:''' ''{voiceover}'' God damnit...

<pre>
Dancing Rock appears!
</pre>

'''TOM:''' What the f-

<pre>
Austin attacks!
679 damage to Dancing Rock! (-659/20)
</pre>

<pre>
Dancing Rock has fallen!
</pre>

'''TOM:''' ''{voiceover}'' Can't we just skip this?

<pre>
Austin gained 70 XP!
Tex and Tom gained no XP for being lazy asses!
</pre>

'''TEX:''' ''{voiceover}'' HEY!

''{Cut back}''

'''TOM:''' So we got the first orb. Now what?

''{Austin walks in holding the 3, 4, and 7-square Orbs}''

'''AUSTIN:''' I just found 3 more.

'''TEX:''' Me too! ''{holding the 5, 1, and 6-square Orbs}''

'''TOM:''' I guess it's time to wish!

''{The three lay the Komodo Orbs down which start to glow.}''

'''TOM:''' Arise, great dragon, Shinguard!

''{Zarel starts falling out of the sky, wearing a Santa hat}''

'''ZAREL:''' <small>Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa</small>aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH-OOF!

''{Zarel hits the ground and breaks apart}''

'''TOM:''' Zarel, what the hell are you doing here?

'''ZAREL:''' There is no Zarel, only Zuul...I mean...Shinguard. ''{starts waving his arms around, in an ominous voice}'' And I will grant you threeeeeeeeeeee wishes. ''{normal}'' Wait, no, only one.

'''TOM:''' We want our friend back!

'''ZAREL:''' Oh! I see! Tell me when to stop as I read this list of rejected characters. Let's see... ''{puts on reading glasses}'' Hm...Garzel...Algernon...

'''TOM:''' ''{yelling}'' YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT!

'''ZAREL:''' ''{stares for a second and then continues to read}'' Roy, Roy Jr, Nick, Inner-

'''TOM:''' ''{furious}'' ARUSEUS, YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH! BRING BACK ARUSEUS!

'''ZAREL:''' JEEZ! This is Komodo Orb Q, not "Tom and The Noid's PMS Hour..." Okay, fine.

''{Zarel snaps his fingers, and then Aruseus, alive and well, falls from the sky and onto Tom}''

'''TOM:''' OOF!

'''ARUSEUS:''' TOM!

'''TEX:''' Holy damn, he's alive!

'''ARUSEUS:''' I was dead?

'''AUSTIN:''' Yeah. Axel murdered you.

'''ARUSEUS:''' He killed me? That bastard!

'''TEX:''' Well, he died too.

'''ARUSEUS:''' Then I hope his soul forever BURNS IN THE FIERY CREVICES OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IN THE VERY REACHES OF THE DEPTHS OF HELL! ''{starts laughing manaically}''

''{The three stare at Aruseus awkwardly}''

'''ARUSEUS:''' What?

''{The Paper comes down, reading "Aruseus C. Parker, 1988-2008-2009"}''

'''ARUSEUS:''' Is that supposed to mean something?

''{The Paper prints further, reading "The third year is your rebirth date, fool."}''

'''ARUSEUS:''' Oh! And I almost forgot! Happy belated 2nd anniversary to my show!

'''TOM:''' Wow. We've been doing the same song and dance for 2 years now.

''{The End.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*Click on Austin to see an extra RPG battle scene.

<pre>
Chuck Norris appears!
</pre>

<pre>
Austin attacks!
1 damage to Chuck Norris! (Infinity/Infinity)
</pre>

<pre>
Austin has fled!
</pre>

'''TOM:''' ''{voiceover}'' Wimp.

==Fun Facts (I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME!)==
*A slime is a common enemy in some RPGs like Dragon Quest.
*The entire "cheesy quest" was a take on Dragon Ball Z. There are also a few similarities in names.
:Komodo Orb = Dragon Ball
:Komodo Map = Dragon Radar
:Shingard (or Zarel) = Shenron
:Komodo Orb Q = Dragon Ball Z
*Aruseus has come back! Woot.

Aruseus Emails/msw3 - Revision history

Lucian Summers: New page: Cast ''{in order of appearance}'': Tom, Axel, Tex, Austin, TJ, various RPG type monsters, Zarel, Aruseus, Chuck Norris (easter egg) Places: Courtroom, Random Valley Computer: None Date:...