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User:JCM/songs

2022-04-11T16:53:51Z

JCM: adding words

''It seems today that all you see'' 
''Is postmodern humor of master's degree'' 
''But where are those good old fashioned gimmicks'' 
''On which we used to rely?'' 
 
''Lucky there's a family guy'' 
''Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make the'' 
''Experts cry'' 
''Cause he's a family guy!''

Hey, Lois, remember that time when JCM wrote all those parodies and stuff:

== Parodies ==

=== Don't Upload That Pic ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZFOQ0hs6E "Don't Download This Song" by Weird Al].

==== Lyrics ====

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge 
To turn and upload useless communism 
Like bringing in images for file-sharing sites 
The Wiki User Wiki's already terrorism 
 
But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad 
And the shame would kill your reputation 
'Cause it starts out as a file and it becomes a hotlink 
And cracking into sites from every comp in your nation 
 
So don't upload that pic 
Photobucket's where you should stick 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Oh, you don't wanna mess with the whole MGMT 
They'll ban you if you reupload that twice 
It doesn't matter if you're autistic or a seven year old child 
They'll eat you like a giant delicious plate full of brown rice 
 
So don't upload that pic 
Don't go around here acting like some hick 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't take away MBs from disk space like it's free 
How else can Super Sam afford to keep this great wiki 
And the HR and HRF 
These things don't grow on trees 
So all I ask is, "Everybody everybody please..." 
 
Don't upload that pic (Don't do it, no, no) 
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's sick (You can just ask him) 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong (It's really wrong) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (Oh please, don't you do it) 
Or you might wind up banhammered really quick (Remember Jimbo) 
Don't be a communist (Ever) 'cause you know that it's wrong (Don't ever do it) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (No, no, no, no, no, no) 
You'll burn in hell from just a kick (And you'll deserve it) 
Don't be a communist (Don't do it) 'cause you know that it's wrong (You stupid troll) 
Oh, don't upload that pic

=== Fat N' Lazy ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nf4DhXy9oU "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire].

==== Lyrics ====

'''TEMPTERS:''' YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN GIANT! THAT MEANS EAT UP!

They see me chowin' 
My garden 
I know they're all thinking 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy! 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
But so far they all think 
I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Really, really fat n' lazy 
 
Last in my class here at kindergarten 
No skills, I'm a loser at being retarded 
Mr. Bed is my BFF, Daddy Mack 
Keep your cold one 
I'll just have some Pepsi Throwback 
My oven is hot enough to marry 
You'll find they are extremely rare-y 
All of my delicious meals are scary 
Doctors are watching my library 
My wiki pages are never touched 
I got people running from my own friends spaces 
Yo, I've had pie in all it's hundred flavors 
Lost most my teeth cause I don't wear braces 
I order all sandwiches with/without mayonnaise 
I suck at Pinball and any cereal maze 
All of my sweets are gonna make me go real crazed 
My mouth is movin' so fast, I think I'll talk for days 
There's no race that I have run 
At last hour, well, I'm number none 
Eat mints and cough drops just for fun 
I ain't got a lock but a ball of dung 
I know every single theme song 
No matter how flip short or how flop long 
I'll chomp any kind of food that you bring on 
I'd beat up Godzilla and King Kong 
Here's the part I sing on 
 
They see me roll on the subway 
I know in my heart they think I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
Although it's apparent I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
How'd I get so fat n' lazy? 
 
I've been snoozing, ingestin' 
All those comics you know I collect 'em 
The bags full of chocolate 
I must protect 'em 
My big kitchen table never leaves me bored 
Shopping online for deals on some sunflower seeds 
I look for all my cheesy needs 
I sleep for 12 hours a day 
I'd rather lose my tongue than go outside and play. 
I got a business doing taste tests 
When my friends need some food who do they call? 
I won't give a bite to any or all 
Not even my stupid, whiny dog! 
Yo! Got myself a calorie pack 
They were having a sale down at Wal-Mart 
Spend my nights with some candy hearts 
MUNCH MUNCH! Hope no one sees me gettin' sneaky! 
 
I'm lazy in the extreme and fatter than TV dads seem 
I'm not in any school clubs or even the football team! 
The first question that was easy for me 
Was do I like Kool-Aid or do I like Black tea? 
I spend my every weekend 
At all-you-can-eat 
I own a wagon for all my meat 
 
They see me strollin' 
They laughin' 
And rollin' their eyes 'cause 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
All because I'm fat n' lazy 
Holy cow I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna sew with 
The hot chicks 
But oh well it's obvious I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy!

=== Well ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJPcD6QWe4 "Lump" by Presidents of the United States].

==== Lyrics ====

Well's from the Pokemopolis forums 
His name is Awesome, and possibly the one 
He is really strange, like aluminum sea boats 
He knew he'd never be like any other emotes 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's just a head 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he on meds? 
 
Well was a small celebrity 
He soon came to be a crappy internet meme 
He's something awful, that's for sure 
The mass madness he causes will never have a cure 
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's kinda round 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
What have we found? 
 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... smile... smile in your face now 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... look! 
 
Well's alter egos circulated in tens 
He spends most of the day looking for real friends 
He never lies or cheats, but he steals 
Each time you click him he gets 20 meals 
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's really bright 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he all right? 
 
Is this Well a hint of red? 
I think so 
Will this Well never be wed? 
I think so 
Did this Well gain lots of cred? 
I think so 
And that's all I'm gonna say about that

=== Worst Night Ever ===
Set to the same tune as [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF1L48CsVZ0 "Best Day Ever" by SpongeBob SquarePants].

==== Lyrics ====

Mr. Moon came out and he laughed at me. Said it's gonna suck tonight, just wait and see! 
Crawled out of bed and I tried to hide, feeling so extra dang horrified! 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
I'm so sleepy, but heard something new. Spent the last five hours here, I need to poo. 
Every hour, every stupid Dan, attempts to pull me out by hand. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
This time scary big things start coming in on me, I'm here upside down, I'm gonna lose my frown, then they throw me out the window without a sound. 
Those stars above me just disappear, it's crazy what's happening, and now I can't hear... 
Soon Mrs. Sun will be shining gay so the worst night ever will last all day. 
No, the worst night ever's gonna last all day now. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
(worst night ever)

=== Always Gonna Give You Up ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley].

==== Lyrics ====

We're no strangers to hate
 You screwed the rules just cause you had money
 I think it's now time to retaliate
 You'll wish that you never messed with Rick, honey
 
 And if you ask me what I'm doing
 When will you just understand?
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie to hurt you
 
 We've know each other for too long
 Your fart's been leaking
 But you're too shy to say it
 Inside we both know what's been going on
 We've done the game so don't try to play it
 
 And if you ask me what I'm doing
 When will you just understand?
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 (give you up), (give you up)
 Always gonna give, always gonna give (give you up)
 Always gonna give, always gonna give (give you up)
 
 We've know each other for too long
 Your fart's been leaking
 But you're too shy to say it
 Inside we both know what's been going on
 We've done the game so don't try to play it
 
 I just wanna tell you what I'm doing
 Gotta make you understand
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you

=== Sinny Lane ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Penny Lane" by The Beatles].

==== Lyrics ====

In Sinny Lane there's an assassin showing all his plaques 
With every head he's had the pleasure to have sliced, 
And the people that have paid the price, 
Hops over us twice. 
 
On the corner is a salesman with a purse-suitcase, 
The little children laugh at him behind his back. 
And the salesman steals all of their Macs 
In the pouring rain, they all hang. 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
I sit, and meanwhile back 
In Sinny Lane there is a minister with an hourglass 
And in his pocket is a portrait of the scene. 
He likes to keep his big figure mean. 
He's a mean machine. 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
I lost my fish and finger pies 
In summer, meanwhile back 
Behind the shelter in the middle of the roundabout 
An evil nurse is selling puppies from a tray 
And she made sure that all the owners lay 
She is really gray. 
 
In Sinny Lane the assassin mounts up another head, 
And the salesman rubs his neck as he walks by. 
And then the minister sanctifies. 
In the pouring rain, we all sang: 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies >
I sit, and meanwhile back. 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
Sinny Lane.

=== Stop Before You Get Too Much ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

Hateful is the feelin' now 
Fevers, temperatures goin' down 
Power (ah power) is the force, the pow 
That makes it happen, please ask no questions why (oh) 
So get farther (farther now) from my body now 
Just hate me 'til you don't know how (oh) 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Touch me and I'll be on fire 
Ain't nothin' like a hate desire (oh) 
I'm freezing (I'm freezing) like Antarctica 
A nation (oh a nation) stupid where we're at (oh) 
 
So let hate take us through the months 
I won't be complanin' 'cause this is tasty lunch (oh) 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
(Oh) 
 
Heartbreak does not describe Hell 
Eternal (ah eternal) hate shines in my health (oh) 
So let hate take us through the months 
I won't be complanin' (no no) 
'Cause your hate is ok, ok 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Hateful is the feeling now 
I won't be complanin' (oh oh) 
The force is crazy love 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 

=== Whiny Crappy People ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.].

==== Lyrics ====

Whiny crappy people crying 
See you in Moscow 
People, people 
Hope that y'all get wound-ed 
Hate you, hate you 
Please get out of town 
Crappy, crappy 
Head into the ground 
Where the tree roots grow 
Sucking up to time 
 
Whiny crappy people from the land 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Everyone around hates them, hates them 
Take them off our hands 
Take them, take them 
There's no time to cry 
Crappy, crappy 
Do it from your heart 
Or they will be mine 
And I won't be kind 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Hey, here you go 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying

=== You're My Rival ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTvxq8IfRMs "You're my Best Friend" by Tim McGraw].

==== Lyrics ====

I've always had someone...that I could count on. 
Never been left down in my life. 
I have never been hurtin'...never needed searchin'. 
'Til you crawled into my life. 
It was a feelin'...I'd never known. 
And for the first time...I had to pick a bone. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're against me...and you never hear me. 
Like nobody ever did. 
When my world goes crazy... 
You're there to laugh at me. 
You make me see how much I want. 
And I still tremble...when you cough. 
And...ugh the look in your eyes when I eat lunch. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just losers. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
 
You're my rival (my rival) 
You're my rival (my rival)

=== What a Horrible World ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk9ItaDWxgk "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong].

==== Lyrics ====

I see weeds of green, pink roses, too 
And then they grow to annoy you 
And I think to myself what a horrible world. 
 
I see skies of black and clouds of gray 
The dark cursed day, the dark cursed day 
And I think to myself what a horrible world. 
 
The tapping of all the rain so crazy on the roof 
Are also on the faces of people going by 
I see ladies slapping men asking what can they do 
Inside they're saying I hate you. 
 
I hear babies crying, I watch them grow 
They'll cry much more than I'll ever know 
And I think to myself what a horrible world 
Yes I think to myself what a horrible world.

=== I'm So Exhausted ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6A6pMO_WKM "I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters].

==== Lyrics ====

Tonight's the night I'm gonna have it happen 
Tonight I'll put all other things aside 
Get out this time and just do all the washin 
I'm going for the bed pleasures this night 
I want to sleep, you fool, you 
Gonna have some dreams, you 
I want to snooze, you. Screw you 
I want to get enough 
And time won't go so slow 
To bed I'll go! 
 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it 
I'm going to lose control and you'll know I lost it 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it 
And I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to 
 
I will have to think about tomorrow 
The memories will last for not so long 
I'll have a good time, baby 
Don't you worry 
And if I'm still snorin around boy 
That's just fine 
I get exhausted, ooh 
You just can't watch it, no, no, no 
I'm going to lose control and you'll know I lost it 
 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it, no, no 
I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to, I want to 
 
Oh boy, I'm gonna hate you 
Fooled you. Gonna have some dreams, you 
I want to snooze, you. Screw you 
No, I want to get enough 
And time won't go so slow 
To bed I'll go! 
 
I'm so exhausted, oooh-weee 
You just can't watch it 
Oooh, I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, oh, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
And you just can't watch it, no, no, no, no, no 
I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to 
Want to 
 
Look what you did to me 
I'm right here sweating up 
Oh 
Why don't you work for me 
You've got to give it up 
Oh 
Baby, I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.
 
I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.
 
I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.

=== Twitter ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glxyn-AxXl8 "Thriller" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

You've tweeted all night and then followed a bunch of question marks 
It is a website that you have been on every day since March 
You have to scream when you get to the hundred forty limit 
And every scene of your life has gone down unrestricted 
You're addicted 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
And no one's gonna save you from the thing we all dislike 
You know it's Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
You have a MySpace, a Facebook, don't forget your LinkedIn 
You are a nutcase in the eyes of your family and friends 
You will get fired if you don't get your face out of your cell phone 
And you will cry and end up tweeting it on the way home 
Future unknown 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You're caught into a trance and it is one you cannot fight, no 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
When you are eating, you detail every aspect of your meal 
When you watch TV, not one spoiler will be concealed 
(It's all revealed) 
This obsession is surreal 
 
You see a whale fail; you F5 quicker than a speeding car 
On a Twitter scale, your amount of usage is just bizarre 
Now is the time for you to get a lot of therapy, now 
Although the trial won't get you close enough to being free 
You have to see 
 
That this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a 
Fitter Twitter, whatever here tonight 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a fitter Twitter, ow!

=== Average Day ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiZMzi-Hw8U "Toes" by Zac Brown Band].

==== Lyrics ====

My cup of joe's on the table, paper in hand 
Though I'm not really reading, don't it make me look grand? 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
Well, I had to leave for work at 8 o'clock 
Made sure to kiss my wife goodbye 
So she wouldn't suspect that I left her 
For someone better on the eyes 
My office job's so boring I could sob like the spoiled brat I am 
Though I'm not a recaller 
I could have been a lawyer 
If I had an attention span 
 
My computer's on the table, mouse in my hand 
The boss logs everything, so I'm under his command 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I say "welcome from Spain" 
But the Spanish-fluent workers and all the random lurkers 
Give me a real dirty face 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
When I get out of here 
Gonna take myself a nap and forget all the crap 
That ever happened this year 
 
The hours flew by like a drunk bald eagle, meaning that it was pretty fast 
I'm at the door, as my time is no more 
At the car, I step on the gas 
But it doesn't start because it's not on 
"Not again," I say with the key 
And the cars next to me laugh before taking off and now I've put it in, I guarantee 
 
Cellular phone's in my shoulder, wheel in my hand 
In a few more miles I will be in the promised land 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
Says the car behind me 
I think it was important since the man flipped me off when I said I was busy 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
He sounds really annoyed 
I probably should speed her and take the call later 
The road's so hard to enjoy 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
Thank God that I'm back home 
Oh no, the children are back from school with my wife, how cruel 
Now the whole family's here 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I sure can't wait for work 
 
I'm just gonna drink my cup of joe 
And put my head in the paper 
Wait for my wife 
And think about what I did to deserve this looping life 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 

=== D.M.C.A. ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_spj5LJ08y8 "Y.M.C.A." by Village People].

==== Lyrics ====

Young man, why the frown on your face? 
I said, young man, looking like a disgrace 
I said, young man, you are in a new place 
So don't be so rotten sappy 
 
Young man, the internet's for all 
I said, young man, when you can't afford Brawl 
Just download it, and keep downloading more 
'Till your eyes fall on the floor 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
Young man, you'll find this stuff online 
I said, young man, and you won't (probably) pay a fine 
I said, young man, what are you waiting for? 
You've got a big land to explore 
 
You can come right out that shell 
I said, young man, don't contemplate your cell 
If you breach it, yeah the D.M.C.A. 
You'll be dumbfound by the array 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
I once was a sissy like you 
I said, I once feared the law like its Jew 
I thought nothing could to be worth it to break 
That it would all be a mistake 
 
Someone finally understood 
And said, young man, come back down to the 'hood 
There's a law here called the D.M.C.A. 
It will show you what to "obey" 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, get that frown off your face 
Young man, young man, you are not a disgrace 
 
D.M.C.A. 
Violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, a sissy don't be you 
Young man, young man, you are not the law's Jew 
D.M.C.A.

=== Rabies ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uim4GwSfzxY "Baby" by Justin Bieber].

==== Lyrics ====

A hog just bit me 
It really hurts 
I'm going to have 
To stay alert 
It could be small 
It could be big 
And I could really maybe turn into a pig 
 
You say that's silly 
That I am just fine 
How do you know 
I won't be a swine? 
Please face the facts 
You cannot avoid it 
Before you know I'll be eating my own...yeah 
 
I tell you, it's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
You tell me 
That it isn't so, up straight 
Don't have to go on eHamony for a sow-mate 
Don't treat me like I'm well 
I'll write the note myself 
It's worth a week of school 
Or forty weeks of school 
 
And I'm going mad 
Rabies does that 
Don't be surprised if my pink eyes begin to scat 
I'm gonna squeal, squeal 
Squeal 
Squeal 
It's coming soon, I promise, this I can really feel 
 
It's the 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Yeah 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Got 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
BLACK DUDE 
When I was like three, I had my first cold 
There was no disease that ever made me sneeze 
Or make anything I'm saying understandable 
It had me goin' crazy 
Oh, I was effed up 
It woke me up daily 
What's two girls one cup? 
Oh right, this rap thing 
I drank orange juice and that disgusting red goop and 
There wasn't any drink 
That could stop the flow of my nose's poopin' 
I had an immune system, 
That did the work of six men, 
But I haven't been cured yet 
So it's like rabies I guess... 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Like 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
He said 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Dang 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
Them 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Away, away, away 
You're gone

=== I Feel Shitty ===
Set to the tune of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpdw3K9mD2s "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story].

==== Lyrics ====

I feel shitty 
Oh, so shitty 
I feel shitty and gritty and grey 
And I pity 
Myself more than anyone else could today 
 
I feel bloated 
Oh, so bloated 
Unfortunate how bloated I feel 
And so shitty 
That I wish nothing around me were real

{{JCM Productions}}

User:JCM/songs

2022-04-11T15:59:39Z

JCM: removing originals and adding new parody

The Gamers Association/JCM/Cheatball Katchum

2021-12-04T14:43:30Z

JCM: /* Download */ epic gamer update

[[Image:CK.png|center]]

Hi, everybody! I, [[User:JCM|JCM]] have decided to create an actually original game starring Cheatball. In it, you have to move a platform and have Cheatball bounce off of it and collect bread. Fast fun for all! Put suggestions and comments on the talk page.

== Controls ==

*Press enter to start the game.
*Press the right and left arrow keys to move the platform.

== Characters ==

[[File:Level1.bmp|thumb|A level select screen I never used because, once again, lazy]]

*'''¢heatball''' - This cute little guy is the star of the game. Hence the title. Before the animal abuse prevention gets on me, you are not actually hurting Cheatball. You are helping him get the bread. Think of it as feeding him. Just don't have him lose lives and he'll be safe.
*'''†enderbread''' - These guys are what you are supposed to get. That concept was totally by me and has nothing to do with that other game. That is just a coincidence.

== Levels ==

*'''One:''' This is just easy to test you out. If you lose all your lives in this, you have no chance in the rest of the game.
*'''Two:''' This is not really that hard, either. But, it is the debut of Rox.
*'''Three:''' A little bit harder than the last.
*There are no levels after three because I'm lazy.

== Download ==

You still want to play it? Well, fine, here it is.
[http://jicemscrib.com/cheatball.php Here ya go!]

{{JCM Productions}}

Jubilee

2018-04-12T22:06:04Z

JCM: Created page with "this is a thing i wrote for a college class it isnt very good but ill probably still get an a == Jubilee == “It’s time to wake up, Harry.” I woke up to the sound of..."

this is a thing i wrote for a college class

it isnt very good but ill probably still get an a

== Jubilee ==

“It’s time to wake up, Harry.”

I woke up to the sound of a drone hovering beside my bed.

“Alright, I’m up,” I muttered.

“Remember: President Riley loves you,” droned the drone.

The drone flew out of the window, and I stumbled out of bed. I reached around for a pair of pants with my four-fingered right hand, and once I found a pair I could use, I pulled it on. I kneeled beside my bed, said my daily prayer to Riley, then got up and walked to the kitchen. Due to rationing, there wasn’t a lot of food available, but I was able to nab an apple for just $300 at the farmers market last week, and I saved it for today, because today’s a special occasion.

I removed a tile on the floor and grabbed a key I was hiding under it. I used the key to unlock a cabinet on the wall, and inside was the fruit of weeks of busting my butt in overtime at the factory, as well as an actual fruit. I pulled the apple out of the cabinet and started eating it, making sure to savor each bite, because it was the only meal I would have that day.

I turned on a television mounted on the adjacent wall and swiped through the channels. Riley Network, Riley News, Riley Sports, Riley Kids. That last channel was a guilty pleasure of mine. When I switched to the network, there was a puppet show on, featuring puppets of a green and blue frog. The puppets weren’t very realistic, though, because the frogs only had two eyes.

“Man, the world can really stink sometimes,” said the green frog.

“Whoa there!” said the blue frog. “You just committed the crime of free thought!”

“What’s free thought?” wondered the green frog.

“Free thought it when you think or say something that goes against the ideals of our Glorious Leader James Riley. Anybody caught in the act of free thought will be sentenced to 600 lashings!”

“Oh, boy,” said the green frog, putting webbed feet with noticeable strings attached to them on its face. “You won’t be getting any more free thoughts from me!”

By now, I had finished my apple, so I returned to my room and looked for my best shirt in the closet. I found a shirt that only had three holes in it, so I put it on. I grabbed my identification card, which was hanging by its lanyard from the closet, and placed it over my neck. After putting on my shoes, I was ready to leave my house, but before I was even out of my room, I heard a knock on the front door.

I walked through the living room and peeked out the window beside the front door, making out the face of my acquaintance, Nathaniel, in the darkness. Every citizen of the Democratic People’s Shining Republic of North America was entitled to one and just one acquaintance, whose name was under our own on our identification cards. The purpose of these acquaintances was to provide us with much-needed company and somebody else to remind us how much President Riley loves us.

There was also an unspoken but just-as-important purpose to acquaintances, which was to provide a check against free thought. Our responsibility as citizens is to always monitor others for instances of free thought, but because we’re with our acquaintances more than anybody else, we’re more likely to hear instances of free thought from them than anybody else. People who successfully report an instance of free thought to the Bureau of Good Vibrations are handsomely rewarded, so as much as I liked James, I always secretly hoped that he would express some free thought so I could report him.

“How’s it going, Harry?” said James as I opened the door and let him in.

“Great!” I replied. “Are you excited for President Riley’s diamond jubilee?”

“Of course, I am! After all…”

“President Riley loves us,” I said, finishing the thought.

Nathaniel chuckled. “That’s right. So, you want to start walking over to Main Street before the traffic gets bad?”

“Yeah.”

One benefit of living in Jamestown, North America’s capital, was getting to experience moments like the diamond jubilee up close. The country’s entire population of 5 million people would either be here, watching the diamond jubilee at home, or watching it on one of the big televisions set up in every city. Once the ceremony started, every network (including Riley Kids) would be tuned into it. I felt proud to be a part of this moment, and my love for President Riley burned stronger than ever.

We walked out onto the dry dirt, and our faces were assaulted by freezing winds. As we walked, we passed several homeless people, stray dogs and cats with extra eyes, ears, and noses, and abandoned vehicles, relics from many years ago. I heard the moans of the homeless people and the whining of the stray dogs even as I was a mile away from them, and I started talking just to get them out of my head.

“So, did your wife give birth yet?” I asked Nathaniel.

“Yes,” muttered Nathaniel, who didn’t seem to want to talk about it.

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

Nathaniel looked down, not wanting to make eye contact. “Girl.”

Unable to ignore the way Nathaniel reacted to my questions, I asked one more. “Is the baby okay, Nathaniel?”

Nathaniel’s thick black goatee made it seem like his mouth was separated from the rest of his body in the darkness as he licked his lips. “The baby’s perfect. Five fingers on each hand, five toes on each foot.”

I immediately regretted asking. “Oh my God, Nathaniel. I…I’m so sorry.”

“Best case scenario, she’ll simply get made fun of a lot at school. Worst case…”

I grabbed Nathaniel’s shoulders, and we both stopped walking. “Don’t think like that! You’ll be okay! She…she’ll be okay.”

“My wife called her a monster, Harry. Couldn’t even look at her. I could barely look at her myself.”

I thought about telling him the truth about myself right then and there, but I knew better than to do that.

“Just remember,” I told Nathaniel. “President Riley loves us. He’ll make everything okay.”

“I know he will,” replied Nathaniel, but I saw something in his eyes that indicated he didn’t believe that.

“Let’s just…enjoy the diamond jubilee. We’ll never experience something like this again.”

Nathaniel took a deep breath. “Yeah, I know.”

Rays of sunlight peeked out through the clouds. That was the most sunlight I ever got to see. According to President Riley’s autobiography, which I read chapters of every night before I went to bed, the sky used to be blue and have a big bright sun that warmed our bodies and grew food below us, but the forces of evil brought on by free thought blotted out the sun, which we can only bring back by wiping out all of the remaining free thought in existence.

We started walking again, and about an hour later, we had finally reached Main Street. There was a man on the side of the road getting whipped by a pair of drones. He was already dead, and was decaying by this time, but the drones, who didn’t know or didn’t care, continued whipping him.

“Isn’t it great that we can see crime being punished?” I said.

“Uh, yeah,” said Nathaniel, clearly thinking about something different.

“Don’t tell me you’re still upset about your daughter!”

“She’s my daughter. Of course, I’m still upset about her! Maybe if you had children of your own, you’d understand.”

That was a low blow, and he knew it. Unlike acquaintances, wives weren’t assigned to us. To encourage child-rearing, the government let men and women choose their own partners, but their love of each other couldn’t take precedent over their love of President Riley, of course, and they had to monitor their spouses just as closely as anybody else for instances of free thought.

I had trouble forming relationships with people the government didn’t assign to me, including my parents and siblings, who I hadn’t talked to since I had left home three years before. My love of President Riley had just been so strong that there wasn’t room for anybody else in my life, other than Nathaniel, who I didn’t feel that close to, either. I wanted to understand more about myself, but the risk of accidentally committing free thought in the process was too strong for me to try it.

We were passing more and more drones, meaning the ceremony had to be close. A few minutes later, we able to see the stage President Riley would give his speech on in the distance.

“I’m so glad we got here early!” I said.

“Yeah, there aren’t a lot of people around here,” said Nathaniel.

“That won’t be the case for long.”

More people started appearing around us, first at a gradual rate, and then quicker until there were so many people around us we could barely move. The parade began above us, with drones projecting holograms of legendary figures like Elvis Presley, Elton John, and Whitney Houston, each singing a verse of our national anthem before the next figure sings the next verse. Fireworks exploded into the number “60” above us, and the spectacle was so grand that I began to cry. Nathaniel, however, stood beside me with the same stoic expression that had been on his face since I first asked about his daughter.

The ceremony continued with large, decorated airships floating above us and projecting even larger images of President Riley, first as a military officer, then as a military commander, then in his current position as leader of the Democratic People’s Shining Republic of North America. The crowd cheered as all of this was going on, and the cheers grew louder as the airships halted right above the stage and pointed lights at the stage to reveal our president, a tall, slender man with large glasses, smooth blonde hair that the small amount of sunlight burning through the clouds seemed to reflect off of, and a face so clean-shaven you couldn’t even see the hair follicles on the massive images of his face that the airships were now projecting into the sky.

“Hello,” said President Riley, barely audible under the cheers of the crowd.

Riley smiled and held a hand up to quiet the crowd.

“Hello. I am your great and powerful ruler, democratically elected to a lifetime term of service to you all,” said Riley. “I have without a doubt the hardest job on this continent...”

A drone flew beside him holding a plate of assorted chocolates with a mechanical arm.

“Thank you,” said Riley, grabbing a piece of chocolate and eating it. “Mmm. Where was I? Oh, yes. I have the hardest job on this continent, but I bear it because I love each and every one of you. I also love this chocolate. Is that caramel?”

“Indeed,” said the drone with a female voice.

“God, I’m such a genius,” said Riley. “Anyway, I want to thank you all for complying with food rationing. Our food supply has been shrinking for a while, and…could you just feed the rest of them to me?”

The drone started putting chocolates in Riley’s mouth.

“Mmm, yes. Our moom mummly ham meen mimking mor a mile, am…”

Riley held up a finger to stop the drone, and he swallowed the chocolates, pulling a handkerchief out from under his purple blazer and using it to wipe his mouth. The drone extended another mechanical arm, grabbed the handkerchief, and pulled the arm with the handkerchief back into its oval, metallic body.

“…and it’s important that we all work towards preserving what little food we have left for future generations,” said Riley.

“Hypocrite,” muttered Nathaniel.

A horde of drones immediately flew out from behind the crowd.

“What’s going on over there?” wondered Riley.

“Free thought detected!” exclaimed a drone with the same female voice.

“What did you just do, Nathaniel?” I whispered.

“I…I don’t know. It just came out of me!” said Nathaniel.

“Free thought detected!” repeated another drone.

“Ooh, free thought? This is gonna be good!” said Riley.

“More chocolates?” asked the drone holding the plate next to Riley.

“Do you even need to ask?” said Riley, rubbing his hands together.

People in the crowd screamed and ran over one another as drones flew all around us, blinking red lights and extending electroshock weapons from their bodies. The projections over us disappeared, and we started running with everybody else.

“Free thought detected! Free thought detected!” echoed the female voices through the crowd.

Nathaniel tripped, and I grabbed his hand.

“No!” Nathaniel pulled his hand away. “Leave me here! Save yourself! I’m dying either way.”

I should have left him there, but all I could think about in that moment was Nathaniel’s daughter, and I knew it wasn’t an option. I picked Nathaniel up and put him on my back. He was lighter than I expected, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. He always wanted to save money instead of using it to buy food, so he sometimes went weeks without eating. The baggy clothes he wore just did a good job of hiding how underweight he really was.

Nathaniel ribs dug into me as I ran, Nathaniel screaming and crying and begging me to let him go. The drones continued flying everywhere, but fortunately, I don’t think they knew where the source of the blasphemy came from, and I wasn’t about to let them find out.

After about 15 minutes of running, my legs were already sore, and we were far enough away from the chaos that I felt safe stopping for a bit. I crawled into the window of one of the many abandoned stores on the side of the road and gestured to Nathaniel to follow me inside. Once we were both inside, we sat under the window where hopefully the drones wouldn’t be able to find us.

“Why did you help me?” asked Nathaniel after a long silence.

“Because you’re my friend,” I replied.

“I’m not your friend! I’m your acquaintance! If I caught you in that situation, I wouldn’t have hesitated to turn you in, so why didn’t you turn me in?”

“Shh! Be quiet! They might hear us!”

“I don’t care at this point. My options are either to die here or go back home and wait for the Bureau of Sweet Loving to take my daughter away.”

I didn’t know what to tell Nathaniel. Actually, I did know, but I was afraid to. I looked into Nathaniel’s eyes, which were such a dark brown that it was hard to tell where his pupils ended. I looked outside the window and saw that most of the drones were gone before sitting back down.

“Nathaniel, there’s something I need to tell you.”

I was born just a few miles south of Jamestown. My parents were factory workers, just like I was, and just like everyone who didn’t work in one of the bureaus. I was in a small white room, and I saw my parents standing with a very tall man in a white coat.

“Your baby is perfectly healthy,” said the man. “Ten fingers on each hand, ten toes on each foot.”

My mother and father were holding hands and both crying. Neither looked in my direction the entire time they were there.

The tall man handed me to my parents, and they drove me home, still not looking at me once. I spent the next several years doing nothing but watching Riley Kids on the television they set up in my room. My parents still fed me, bathed me, and clothed me, but they never said more than few words to me or looked at me for more than a couple of seconds. One day, when I was three or so, I saw an episode of the cartoon show Riley’s Little Runts, and when one of the kids in the show was afraid of a monster under his bed, his mother told him to simply close his eyes and think about Riley whenever he was hurt, scared, or confused.

I was five when I first decided I’d try to watch the television in the living room, which my parents said was off-limits, but which was larger than the one in my room. When I turned the television on, it was tuned into Riley News, which currently had a shot of a reporter in front of a strange building. I didn’t know how to change the channel to Riley Kids, so I just kept watching this instead.

“These cullings have been great for scientific advancement and the future of the human race,” said the reporter. “And I for one am excited to see what we’ll learn from this next one.”

At that moment, the television turned off, and I turned around to find my mother standing behind me.

“Didn’t I tell you that you weren’t allowed to watch this TV, Harry?” said my mother.

“Mom,” I said. “What’s a ‘culling’?”

My mother’s face darkened. Whatever this “culling” was, I knew it had to be bad based on the way she was looking at me, longer than she had ever looked at me before, with a mixture of sadness, regret, and despair.

“Harry,” she said. “Sit down.”

My mother explained to me that the culling was a government initiate to take a portion of the “perfect” population every few years and put them in a laboratory where they’d be subject to regular genetic experiments. Those who had already hit puberty would have significant portions of their eggs and sperm extracted first, but children weren’t exempt from the culling, as many of the experiments needed younger subjects. While age varied, one thing about the culling never varied: those who are taken in the culling never return.

That night, I struggled to fall asleep. I said to myself “close your eyes and think of Riley” over and over again, but when I closed my eyes, all I could think about were needles and men in white coats. This continued until deep in the night, when I finally decided on what I would do.

I snuck out of my room and into the kitchen, where I crawled onto the kitchen counter and found a set of steak knives. I grabbed a steak knife, put my right hand on the counter, then I closed my eyes and thought of Riley. I continued thinking of Riley as I felt a sharp pain in my pinky finger and everything momentarily went white. I continued thinking of Riley as I felt the warm liquid under my hand. I grabbed a kitchen towel, wrapped my hand around in it, and returned to bed, where I no longer had trouble sleeping.

My parents were horrified when they first saw what I had done to myself, but they eventually accepted it, and they were happier with the culling no longer hanging over their heads. They had two more children over the next five years after not having one during my first five years. I could never establish a relationship with them, though, due to the same problems that hampered me from establishing relationships with anybody.

A few days after the birth of my second sibling, we heard a knock on the front door, and my father opened it to find a government officer standing there.

“I’m with the Bureau of Sweet Loving,” said the officer. “Is there a Harry here who I can speak to?”

My father looked at me with concern, but I approached the officer without fear.

“That’s me,” I said.

“It looks like you’re up for the latest culling,” said the officer. “I’ll need you to come with me.”

I raised my right hand. “Do I look like somebody who’d be on the list for the culling?”

The officer looked at my hand with confusion. “There…must have been a mistake. I’m sorry for wasting your time, sir.”

The officer left, and after I closed the door, I let out a large sigh of relief. My parents congratulated me on how brave I was and how strong I was, but I could only think about all the people like me who couldn’t get out of going with that officer. I remembered all the “perfect” kids getting beat up at my school, and instead of helping them, I simply ignored them. I simply ignored us.

Nathaniel said nothing for a while, and when he did, he simply said, “I’m hungry.”

“When was the last time you ate?” I asked Nathaniel, standing up.

Nathaniel stood up with me, and we both crawled out the window and walked down the street, which was now empty.

“Two, maybe three days ago,” said Nathaniel. “Got anything at your place?”

“I’ll buy more food when I get paid tomorrow, and no, you can’t have any of it!”

I still didn’t understand very much about myself, but like the sunlight through the clouds, I had an inkling of it now. I was loyal to my friends. I was no longer afraid of free thought. I realized that the world could really stink sometimes, but I didn’t have to stink with it, and while I could never truly be perfect, that didn’t I couldn’t at least try.

WUW:Birthdays

2017-07-17T15:46:00Z

JCM: man oh man

<noinclude>
__NOTOC__
{| border=2 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=5 style="border-collapse:collapse; border: solid 2px;" width=100%
|- valign=top
| width=25% bgcolor=#DDDDDD |
=== <center>January</center> ===
8th - {{u|Toonypie}} 
9th - {{u|Vince Gagoman}}, {{u|Ninja Pom Pom}} 
18th - {{u|Color Printer}}, {{u|Remolay}} 
23rd - {{u|Chwoka}} 
| width=25% bgcolor=#EEEEEE |

=== <center>February</center> ===
1st - {{u|Superfield Credit Union}} 
4th - {{u|*Micah*}} 
10th - {{u|DonZabu}} 
17th - {{u|TheCheese}} 
21th - {{u|20eric06}} 
27th - {{u|Patrick}} 
28th - {{u|Homfrog}} 
| width=25% bgcolor=#DDDDDD |

=== <center>March</center> ===
7th - {{u|Shwoo}} 
17th - {{u|Sinta-tan}} 
27th - {{u|Noxigar}} 
29th - {{u|TheDenzel}}
| width=25% bgcolor=#EEEEEE |

=== <center>April</center> ===

1st - {{u|StrongRad}} 
11th - {{u|x66x66}} 
14th - {{u|SimplyMP}} 
17th - {{u|Ninjaduck}} 
18th - {{u|Joshua}} 
26th - {{u|Good Deal Dan}} 
28th - {{u|MotorAndroid}} 
30th - {{u|Homoon}} 
|- valign=top
| bgcolor=#EEEEEE |

=== <center>May</center> ===
12th - {{u|NachoMan}} 
13th - {{u|InsanityDemon}} 
18th - {{u|JuomariVeren}} 
19th - {{u|X On Fire}} 
21st - {{u|Cryptogamer12}} 
23rd - {{u|Fenix}} 
25th - {{u|Super Sam}} 
| bgcolor=#DDDDDD |

=== <center>June</center> ===
4th - {{u|StroHersh}} 
14th - {{u|HunkOfJunk}} 
17th - {{u|Homestar tiger}} 
23rd - {{u|Meme3}} 
| bgcolor=#EEEEEE |

=== <center>July</center> ===
2nd - {{u|Brerose}} 
3rd - {{u|The Spainish Inquisition}} 
4th - {{u|Bellstrom}} 
10th - {{u|Kirbychu}} 
16th - {{u|Conchris}} 
17th - {{u|Man-o-man}} 
30th - {{u|TheStick}}
| bgcolor=#DDDDDD |

=== <center>August</center> ===
5th - {{u|Zoo977}} 
13th - {{u|The thing}} 
22nd - {{u|Skullbuggy}} 
25th - {{u|TheValentineBros}} 
25th - {{u|ALXXMaXX}} 
|- valign=top
| bgcolor=#DDDDDD |

=== <center>September</center> ===
1st - {{u|WhatIAm}} 
5th - {{u|Dane}} 
7th - {{u|JCM}} 
10th - {{u|The Noid}} 
12th - {{u|MikeControl}} 
21st - {{u|Clover}} 
22nd - {{u|Captcha}} 
23rd - {{u|Ryan Bluefox}} 
| bgcolor=#EEEEEE |

=== <center>October</center> ===
2nd - {{u|Shadow Scythe}} 
17th - {{u|Dinoshaur}} 
26th - {{u|Nebs}} 
| bgcolor=#DDDDDD |

=== <center>November</center> ===
8th - {{u|Cluelesscat}} 
9th - {{u|Ekul}} 
12th - {{u|Badstar}} 
17th - {{u|Lilfut}} 
26th - {{u|Aussie Evil}} 

| bgcolor=#EEEEEE |

=== <center>December</center> ===

2nd - {{u|Stinkoman K}} 
4th - {{u|Vindicator}} 
12th - {{u|Sam The Man}} 
25th - {{u|Bluebry}} 
31st - {{u|Lex}}
|}</noinclude>
 
<div align=center>
'''Birthdays on {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTDAY}}{{#switch:{{CURRENTDAY}}|1|21|31=st|2|22=nd|3|23=rd|th}}, {{CURRENTYEAR}}:''' 
{{ #switch:{{CURRENTDAY2}}{{CURRENTMONTHABBREV}}
| 09Jan = {{u|Clamburger}}
| 18Jan = {{u|Color Printer}} {{age|1|18|1992}}
| 23Jan = {{u|Chwoka}}
| 17Feb = {{u|TheCheese}}
| 29Mar = {{u|TheDenzel}}
| 18Apr = {{u|Joshua}}
| 26Apr = {{u|Good Deal Dan}}
| 07May = {{u|NachoMan}}
| 13May = {{u|InsanityDemon}} ({{age|13|5|1993}})
| 18May = {{u|Chaosvii7}} ({{age|5|18|1995}})
| 25May = {{u|Super Sam}} ({{age|25|5|1991}}) and {{u|Clamburger}}
| 02Jul = {{u|Brerose}} ({{age|2|7|1997}})
| 03Jul = {{u|The Spainish Inquisition}}
| 04Jul = {{u|Bellstrom}} ({{age|4|7|1996}})
| 10Jul = {{u|Kirbychu HR'D}}
| 16Jul = {{u|Conchris}}
| 17Jul - {{u|Man-o-man}}
| 30Jul = {{u|TheStick}}
| 05Aug = {{u|Zoo977}}
| 22Aug = {{u|Skullbuggy}}
| 07Sep = {{u|JCM}}
| 10Sep = {{u|The Noid}}
| 23Sep = {{u|Ryan Bluefox}}
| 09Nov = {{u|Ekul}}
| 12Nov = {{u|Badstar}}
| 04Dec = {{u|Vindicator}}
| 12Dec = {{u|Sam The Man}}
| 25Dec = {{u|Bluebry}}
| 31Dec = {{u|Lex}}
| 01Feb = {{u|Superfield Credit Union}}
| 02Oct = {{u|Shadow Scythe}}
| 05Sep = {{u|Dane}}
| 02Dec = {{u|Stinkoman K}}
| ''No birthdays today''
}}
</div>

Template:Main Page/Wiki Stuff

2017-07-17T15:40:01Z

JCM: rv/v

===Wiki Stuff===
 • '''[[WUW:Fanstuff Guidelines|Fanstuff Guidelines]]''' — The standards for fanstuff. It is advised that you read it before creating anything.
 • '''[[WUW:Sandbox|Sandbox]]''' — The Sandbox. Use this as a testing area.
 • '''[[WUW:Suggestions|Suggestion Box]]''' — Help us improve the HRFWiki.
 • '''[[WUW:Userboxes|Userboxes]]''' — Informative boxes to decorate your userpage.
 • '''[http://z13.invisionfree.com/Fanstuff/index.php?showforum=33 WUW Sub-Forum]''' — A public forum to talk and hang out.
 • '''[[WUW:Disputes|Disputes]]''' — A place to discuss the various issues at hand.
 • '''[[WUW:Birthdays|Birthdays]]''' — Reveal your birthdays here.

Template:Main Page/Fanstuff

2017-07-17T15:39:03Z

JCM: rv/v

=== Content ===
 • '''[[Wiki User Fanstuff]]'''
 • '''[[Text Fiction]]''' - Stories.
 • '''[[Visual Fiction]]''' - Flash, images, anything visual.
 • '''[[Characters]]''' - The characters used on the WUW.
 • '''[[Interactive]]''' - Interactive games of the text variety.
 • '''[[Video Games]]''' - Meant to run as separate programs.
 • '''[[Text Adventures]]''' - Games that utilize page linking for hours of fun.
 • '''[[Immigrants]]''' - Fanstuff migrated over from the Fanstuff Wiki.
 • '''[[Groups]]''' - Groups and studios fronting created work.
 • '''[[Awards]]''' - Awards and Point Systems.
 • '''[[Misc]]''' - Everything else.

Template:Main Page/Intro Message

2017-07-17T15:37:01Z

JCM: rv/v

<div align=center style="margin-bottom: 10px;">Welcome to the '''Wiki User Wiki!''' Why are you even here?</div>

<div align=center>The WUW is a collection of stories, games and other fiction created by the {{NUMBEROFUSERS}} [[Special:Listusers|community members]] of the wiki. We currently have {{NUMBEROFEDITS}} [[Special:Statistics|edits]] across {{NUMBEROFARTICLES}} [[Special:Allpages|pages]]. </div>

Discord Comics

2017-02-20T20:55:09Z

JCM: Created page with "Comics generated from [http://www.discordapp.com Discord] discussions. File:Comic1.png File:Comic2.png File:Comic3.png File:Comic4.png File:Comic5.png..."

Comics generated from [http://www.discordapp.com Discord] discussions.

[[File:Comic1.png]]

[[File:Comic2.png]]

[[File:Comic3.png]]

[[File:Comic4.png]]

[[File:Comic5.png]]

[[File:Comic6.png]]

[[File:Comic7.png]]

[[File:Comic8.png]]

[[File:Comic9.png]]

[[File:Comic10.png]]

File:Comic10.png

2017-02-20T20:54:15Z

JCM:

File:Comic9.png

2017-02-20T20:54:10Z

JCM:

File:Comic8.png

2017-02-20T20:54:03Z

JCM:

File:Comic7.png

2017-02-20T20:53:55Z

JCM:

File:Comic6.png

2017-02-20T20:53:48Z

JCM:

File:Comic5.png

2017-02-20T20:53:40Z

JCM:

File:Comic4.png

2017-02-20T20:53:29Z

JCM:

File:Comic3.png

2017-02-20T20:53:14Z

JCM:

File:Comic2.png

2017-02-20T20:53:06Z

JCM:

File:Comic1.png

2017-02-20T20:52:59Z

JCM:

The Skype Squad/2

2016-08-17T04:27:03Z

JCM: the show must go on

Strong Intelligent's and Raiku's gangs compete in karaoke night.

== Transcript ==

''{Sephiroth walks into his apartment and finds JCM watching SpongeBob on the couch.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' How the fuck did you get in here?

'''JCM:''' Your lock wasn't very hard to pick.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Get out!

'''JCM:''' Come on! The neutrals need to stick together! Plus, the rent here is too expensive.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Get a job!

'''JCM:''' I'm in the process of doing that! But I need a place to stay first! Please?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' ''{sighs}'' Fine. But once you have that job, you're paying an entire month's rent.

''{JCM jumps off the couch and hugs Sephiroth tightly.}''

'''JCM:''' Thank you, thank you, thank you!

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Please let go of me.

'''JCM:''' ''{lets go}'' Sorry.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Anyway, I need to practice for karaoke night at SingSnap, so you need to turn that off.

'''JCM:''' SingSnap? What's that?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' It's Skype City's hottest club. They do karaoke nights every Saturday, and whoever gets the biggest response gets 100 bucks. I plan to win tonight.

'''JCM:''' Ooh, can I watch?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Sure. I need to get used to singing in front of an audience, and you're the closest thing to an audience here.

''{JCM turns off the television. Sephiroth pushes a button on a radio, and Michael Jackson's "Bad" starts playing.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' ''{singing}'' Your butt is mine. Gonna tell you right. Just show your face in broad daylight.

''{As Sephiroth sings the rest of the song, JCM nods his head.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' What do you think?

'''JCM:''' I liked it. Definitely could use less crotch-grabbing, though.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' ''{rolls eyes}'' Good enough. You can go back to watching SpongeBob now.

'''JCM:''' Yay!

''{JCM turns the television back on as Sephiroth goes to his room.}''

''{Cut to SingSnap at night. JCM and Sephiroth are at the end of a long line.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Goddamn it. We should have gotten here earlier.

''{Raiku, Chaosvii7, Im a bell and Badstar walk into SingSnap to find Strong Intelligent, Lemon Demon43, Remolay, and Noxigar seated at a table.}''

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' So I see you've got new recruits, too.

'''RAIKU:''' Yeah, but I doubt I'll need them to kick your ass.

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!

'''RAIKU:''' I'm...younger than you.

''{JCM and Sephiroth walk in.}''

'''JCM:''' Hey, Noxigar! I haven't seen you in forever!

'''NOXIGAR:''' Go fuck yourself.

'''JCM:''' ''{laughs}'' I missed you, too.

''{ProhibitTheBastard walks onto the stage.}''

'''PTB:''' Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SingSnap's karaoke tournament! Above me is the SnapMeter, which will measure the reaction to each of our singers! Whoever has the biggest reaction will win one hundred dollars! First up... ''{reads from a piece of paper}'' Sephiroth!

''{Sephiroth walks onto the stage and sings "Bad". When he's finished, the crowd cheers loudly enough to make the SnapMeter more than three quarters full. Sephiroth returns to JCM satisfied.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' I think I did pretty good.

'''RAIKU:''' It's our turn. Come on, guys.

''{Raiku, Chaosvii7, Im a bell and Badstar walk onto the stage and start singing "Don't Stop Believing".}''

'''JCM:''' ''{wipes away a tear}'' Such a beautiful song.

'''REMOLAY:''' Whose side are you on?

'''JCM:''' I'm on no side! I'm Spain.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' It's Switzerland, but I guess Spain works, too.

''{Raiku's gang finishes "Don't Stop Believing", and the patrons of SingSnap cheer so loudly that the SnapMeter reaches its highest level ever. Raiku walks past Strong Intelligent's table with a smirk.}''

'''RAIKU:''' Beat that.

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' Alright, guys. We have some hard work ahead of

''{Strong Intelligent looks around to find that the rest of his gang has disappeared.}''

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' Well shit.

''{Strong Intelligent walks onto the stage as "Straight Outta Compton" starts playing. He's about to rap the opening verse when he sees the rest of his gang walking out of the door, and he's unable to get the first word out. Strong Intelligent runs off the stage in tears. Remolay, the last person out the door, decides to turn around at the last second.}''

'''BADSTAR:''' What are you going to do with your share, Bell?

'''IM A BELL:''' Probably buy some hentai.

'''BADSTAR:''' Respect.

''{After talking to the karaoke people, Remolay walks onto the stage and begins singing "The Show Must Go On". Strong Intelligent walks out of the restroom and smiles when he sees Remolay on stage.}''

'''RAIKU:''' Holy fuck, he's a good singer.

'''CHAOS:''' Think he can beat us?

'''RAIKU:''' No. Nobody can beat us.

''{When Remolay finishes, the crowd cheers so loudly that the SnapMeter breaks. ProhibitTheBastard walks onto the stage with an envelope.}''

'''PTB:''' I think we know who the winner is.

'''RAIKU:''' No!

''{Strong Intelligent runs onto the stage and hugs Remolay.}''

'''JCM:''' I have a strange feeling in my pants.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' So do I, JCM. So do I.

'''IM A BELL:''' ''{sighs}'' Guess I'll have to pirate my hentai again.

'''RAIKU:''' Don't worry, Bell. They may have won the battle, but they have not won the war.

'''JCM:''' Adios mio.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' It's "ay dios mio".

'''JCM:''' I think Spain knows Spanish a little better than you do, Seph.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Somebody shoot me.

''{The End}''

The Skype Squad/1

2016-07-30T18:43:01Z

JCM: cough cough

JCM moves to Skype City, and the gang splits in two.

== Transcript ==

''{The students of the Homestar Runner Fanstuff School are crowded in front of It's dot com as he prepares to make an announcement, standing where the HRFSchool once stood.}''

'''IT'S DOT COM:''' I'm sorry it had to come to this, but I will not be rebuilding the Homestar Runner Fanstuff School. It will be shutting down, for good this time.

''{The students boo.}''

'''IT'S DOT COM:''' Oh, please. I think we all knew this would happen. All the purge did was postpone the inevitable. Let's face it: a school about Homestar Runner fanstuff is a stupid fucking idea.

'''JCM:''' ''{whispers}'' Did he just swear?

'''IT'S DOT COM:''' Now, if you excuse me, I'm going back to running a real school. A good school. A school that has 10, 15 years left in its engine. Goodbye.

''{It's dot com walks to the Homestar Runner School with his head held high. Three years later, the Homestar Runner School has a "Closed" sign in front of it.}''

''{Cut to the Skype City Airport. JCM walks off a plane, and once he enters the building, he gets patted down by Raiku.}''

'''JCM:''' Raiku? Are you with the TSA?

'''RAIKU:''' No, I just like groping people.

''{Sephiroth and Strong Intelligent come out of an airport restaurant with a fish and fries dish.}''

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' These fish and chips are excellent.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' JCM, you made it!

'''JCM:''' I did! And I see that Strong Intelligent stills calls french fries "chips". What a silly man.

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' I see you haven't changed at all.

'''JCM:''' Man, I can't believe it's been three years since we all last saw each other.

'''RAIKU:''' Why did you guys leave the School Student School, anyways? I know why I did.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' You were expelled.

'''RAIKU:''' I was expelled. Good times, good times.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' We left the School Student School because it reminded us too much of the HRFSchool, and knowing that the latter would never come back was just too much to bear. So, we went our separate ways.

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' But now we're back together again, finally!

''{Lemon Demon43 comes out of the same restaurant Sephiroth and Strong Intelligent came out of.}''

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' Who the fuck invited Raiku?

'''RAIKU:''' Why the sour 'tude, Lemon?

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' Quit it with the puns!

'''RAIKU:''' What, are you afraid of a bit of ribbing? Don't be yellow!

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' Grr!

''{Chaosvii7 comes out of the restaurant with a drink.}''

'''CHAOSVII7:''' Did I miss something?

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' ''{eats a fry}'' No, not really.

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' As long as Raiku's in this group, I don't want anything to do with it!

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Oh, come on! Don't split up the gang already!

'''JCM:''' There's a gang? Is this like the Scooby Gang or what?

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' My decision is final. Whoever wants to join me can join me.

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' I'll join if we call it the SI gang!

''{Sephiroth gives Strong Intelligent the evil eye.}''

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' Come on! I've never had my own gang before!

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' Anybody else want to join? Maybe someone else whose name starts with "s"?

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Nuh-uh! There is no way I'm taking sides! I'll be a neutral party, kind of like Switzerland.

'''JCM:''' Nobody understands your obscure historical references, Sephiroth!

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' I understood it.

'''CHAOSVII7:''' So did I.

'''RAIKu;''' You're just not very smart, JCM.

'''JCM:''' Coming from the guy who flunked out of school!

'''RAIKU:''' I didn't flunk out. I got expelled for raising Super Sam's boxers on the flagpole. Good times.

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' We're going off-topic. Who's in Raiku's gang and who's in SI's gang?

'''CHAOSVII7:''' I'm in Raiku's gang. He throws the best parties.

'''JCM:''' I'm in neither. I'll be Sweden like Sephiroth.

'''SEPHIROTH:''' I said Switzerland, but Sweden works as well.

'''LEMON DEMON43:''' Fine! Let's go, Strong Intelligent!

'''STRONG INTELLIGENT:''' Hey, I give the orders! Let's go, Lemon!

''{Lemon Demon43 and Strong Intelligent walk out of the airport.}''

'''SEPHIROTH:''' Oh, no! He left with the fish and chips!

'''JCM:''' Sephiroth! Not you, too!

''{The End}''

WUWfinder

2016-05-13T03:35:34Z

JCM: /* WHERE CAN WE SIGN UP */

So, I'm going to run Pathfinder. Max of five players (though more than five may sign up and I'll pick among you but what am I kidding only three people on the wuw), story synopsis is kind of in progress at this point and is going to be a personal endeavor based around the characters, therefore requiring signups before I can put in a lot of work. Here's the info.

'''BOOKS ARE HERE: [https://mega.nz/#F!lpcWzZjS!RIAhJVH8J6Qq-ZHvCp1gow]'''
== WHAT IS PATHFINDER ==
Basically, Pathfinder is a still-updated and maintained version of Dungeons and Dragons 3.5. If you've played 5E, you'll recognize some of it, though some other things are different and will be taught in a tutorial before the campaign starts. The big thing about Pathfinder is how much damn customization it has. Two dozen races, almost two dozen classes, and a ton of choices even inside those. Whatever character you make, it'll almost certainly be original.

== WHAT IS THIS CAMPAIGN ==
This campaign takes place in a world known as Themelio, which is a heavy ocean-based planet. Islands litter the seas with at least one continent existing to the East, and climates of all types exist. Creatures of all shapes and sizes roam the land, ranging from living goo to elves to furries to half-furries to people made of fire. The world's technological level varies, from stone age civilizations to steampunk-medieval empires to ninjas and samurai. If you have any idea of an island or nation you need to exist for your character concept, just message me on Skype mang, I'll put it in. Locations will be described in terms and actually mapped out and fleshed out when players show interest in them or have them in their background.

The campaign will begin when the party is hired as bodyguards for a merchant noble heading to a fishing-town on the river for a large-scale business deal. The party will either meet here or have met before in background, up to individual players, and more information on this will be added as I do the work.

Any questions about what isn't and is allowed can be sent to me at any time!

== WHAT CAN WE PLAY ==
Obviously, you choose a race and a class. Any of the Paizo-created (non-third party) ones in the SRD can be used, though some (Android and Catfolk) have been refluffed. Androids are steambased, while Catfolk are more like Nekomata rather than shitty DeviantArt furries.

Races: [http://www.d20pfsrd.com/races]

Classes: [http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes]

I'll work with you to make your sheets closer to actual game, though knowing your character's background and the like will be very important to actually make the game.

==WHERE CAN WE SIGN UP==
Simply put (Your Name - Character's Name - Race/Class) below, and when you have it worked out, message me your background and other details on Skype, or simply ask to work with me!
*Your Name - Character's Name - Race/Class

*Bellstrom - <to be determined> - Vanara/Wizard
*JCM - Rennyn Venyarus - Elf/Alchemist

The Gamers Association/JCM/Cheatball Katchum

2015-12-08T05:00:46Z

JCM: Extras!

[[Image:CK.png|center]]

Hi, everybody! I, [[User:JCM|JCM]] have decided to create an actually original game starring Cheatball. In it, you have to move a platform and have Cheatball bounce off of it and collect bread. Fast fun for all! Put suggestions and comments on the talk page.

== Controls ==

*Press enter to start the game.
*Press the right and left arrow keys to move the platform.

== Characters ==

[[File:Level1.bmp|thumb|A level select screen I never used because, once again, lazy]]

*'''¢heatball''' - This cute little guy is the star of the game. Hence the title. Before the animal abuse prevention gets on me, you are not actually hurting Cheatball. You are helping him get the bread. Think of it as feeding him. Just don't have him lose lives and he'll be safe.
*'''†enderbread''' - These guys are what you are supposed to get. That concept was totally by me and has nothing to do with that other game. That is just a coincidence.

== Levels ==

*'''One:''' This is just easy to test you out. If you lose all your lives in this, you have no chance in the rest of the game.
*'''Two:''' This is not really that hard, either. But, it is the debut of Rox.
*'''Three:''' A little bit harder than the last.
*There are no levels after three because I'm lazy.

== Download ==

You still want to play it? Well, fine, here it is.
[http://infomercial.cuccfree.com//cheatballkatchum.zip Here ya go!]

{{JCM Productions}}

File:Level1.bmp

2015-12-08T04:57:33Z

JCM:

MediaWiki:Sitenotice

2015-12-08T04:00:22Z

JCM: shameless advertising

Got a minute to waste? [[The Gamers Association/JCM/Cheatball Katchum‎|Play the new and improved Cheatball Katchum!]]

File:CK.png

2015-12-08T00:06:38Z

JCM: JCM uploaded a new version of "File:CK.png"

The Gamers Association/JCM/Cheatball Katchum

2015-12-08T00:00:50Z

JCM: rebooted

[[Image:CK.png|thumb|center|250px]]

Hi, everybody! I, [[User:JCM|JCM]] have decided to create an actually original game starring Cheatball. In it, you have to move a platform and have Cheatball bounce off of it and collect bread. Fast fun for all! Put suggestions and comments on the talk page.

== Controls ==

*Press enter to start the game.
*Press the right and left arrow keys to move the platform.

== Characters ==

*'''¢heatball''' - This cute little guy is the star of the game. Hence the title. Before the animal abuse prevention gets on me, you are not actually hurting Cheatball. You are helping him get the bread. Think of it as feeding him. Just don't have him lose lives and he'll be safe.
*'''†enderbread''' - These guys are what you are supposed to get. That concept was totally by me and has nothing to do with that other game. That is just a coincidence.

== Levels ==

*'''One:''' This is just easy to test you out. If you lose all your lives in this, you have no chance in the rest of the game.
*'''Two:''' This is not really that hard, either. But, it is the debut of Rox.
*'''Three:''' A little bit harder than the last.
*There are no levels after three because I'm lazy.

== Download ==

You still want to play it? Well, fine, here it is.
[http://infomercial.cuccfree.com//cheatballkatchum.zip Here ya go!]

{{JCM Productions}}

The Gamers Association

2015-12-07T23:54:21Z

JCM: /* Members */ i do have a new name now don't i

Behold! A club with Wiki Users dedicated to making Gaming projects of any kind! RPG, Fighting, Action, Shooter, Racing, anything!

'''We are discussing about making Group Projects. Please help us reach our decision.'''

There are just a few things you need to do.

==Sign Ups==
You need:

*'''Any form program that makes games'''
*'''To begin work on a game with it'''

To sign up, use this format!

Format:
<pre>
<nowiki>
[[/<YOURNAME>|<YOURNAME>]]-<Version of Gamemaker>
</nowiki>
</pre>

Then, on your subpage, put:

*'''Your Username'''
*'''Game Projects you're worknig on(Do [[/<PROJECT>|PROJECT]] And on that page, list things specific to the game's style.)'''
*'''If you have more than 1 program, you MUST divide it into multiple sections for each of the games.'''

===Members===
*[[/Chaosvii7|Chaosvii7]]-Game Maker 7, ShugenDo fighting simulator
*[[/TheStick|TheStick]] - RPG Maker 2000
*[[/Userunknown|Userunknown]]-RPG Maker 2000, Game Maker(7), Pivot(Animation useing stickmen)
*[[/Toonypie|Toonypie]]-RPG Maker 2003, VX
*[[/Superfield Credit Union|Superfield Credit Union]]-Game Maker 7
*[[/Lucas|Lucas Aura]]-Game Maker 7 (Starting a game starring CD-I Link)
*[[/Kirbychu|Kirbychu HR'D]]-Game Maker 7 Lite
*[[/Sephiroth|Sephiroth]]-RPG Maker 2000, 2003, XP, and VX, Game Maker 7
*[[/Tahu|Tahu]]-RPG Maker 2000 and XP
*[[/JCM|JCM]]-Game Maker 7 Lite
*[[/SkullB|Skullbuggy]] - Adventure Game Studio, Game Maker 7 Lite
*[[/Chwoka|Chwoka]] - MaiTAI, Game Maker 7 Lite
*[[/Zoo977|Zoo977]]- Game Maker 7 (not sure if lite or not)
*[[/Lemon|Lemon]]- Game Maker 7
*[[/Raiku|Raiku]] - Game Maker 8 Beta, RPG Maker 2000
*[[/Cow|Cow Puncher]] - Game Maker 7
*[[/NINJADUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|NINJADUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]] - Game maker 7
*[[/*Micah*|*Micah*]]- Game Maker 8.1

==The Table Order of the Circle-shaped badge==
To get into this super secret club, with it's perks, you need to:

*Compete in the Group Project
*Complete 1 Project that wasn't already started before you joined

But you get perks, like a badge...shaped like a circle...

===Members===

==Game Projects==

There are two teams of three people each. One team with RPG Maker 2000, and the other with Game Maker 7. You are assigned to make a game in 6 months time, after both of the teams fill up. In those six months, you will think about the game, brainstorm it, and make it. Chaosvii7 and TheStick are judges. The team with the best game, as decided by the judges, is the winner. You can only sign up on one team, and you can only sign up if you have the program.

To sign up, simply replace a Blank with your username under the team of your choosing.

===Signups===

====[[/Team Game Maker 7|Team Game Maker 7's Headquarters]]====

*#{{User:Superfield Credit Union/sig}}
*#{{User:Kirbychu HR'D/sig}}
*#{{User:WUjcm/sig}}

====[[/Team RPG Maker 2000|Team RPG Maker 2000's Headquarters]]====

*#[[User:Sephiroth|Sephiroth]]
*#[[User:Tahu|Tahu]]
*#[[User:Toonypie|Toonypie]]

===Due Date===

This project is due on November 19, 2008.

MediaWiki:Monobook.css

2015-10-08T23:18:00Z

JCM: this has always annoyed me

/* edit this file to customize the monobook skin for the entire site */

body {
font-size: 10px;
font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;
background: #ffffbf;
}

#p-personal li a { color: #06f; }

#p-personal li a:hover {
text-decoration: underline;
}

#p-cactions li a { color: #00c; }

#p-cactions .new a { color:#c00; }

#content {
margin-left: 12.6em;
}

#p-cactions {
left: 11.9em;
}

.portlet {
width: 12em;
}

input.searchButton {
padding: 0 0.4em !important;
cursor: pointer;
background-color: White;
border: 1px solid #2f6fab;
font-weight: normal;
}

#searchGoButton {
font-weight: normal;
}

#searchInput {
border: 1px solid #2f6fab;
}

input[type="radio"], input[type="checkbox"] {
border: none;
}

select {
border: 1px solid #2f6fab;
color: Black;
}

Terrell's Blog

2015-10-01T04:21:36Z

JCM:

{{:Terrell's Blog/14}} 
{{JCM Productions}}

Terrell's Blog/14

2015-10-01T04:15:29Z

JCM: Created page with "{{Terrell'sBlog}} {{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=March 7|H=Quick Plot Development|M=Flabbergasted|S=Back on my bed|E=Flabbergasted is a funny word. But besides that, you have..."

{{Terrell'sBlog}}
 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=March 7|H=Quick Plot Development|M=Flabbergasted|S=Back on my bed|E=Flabbergasted is a funny word. But besides that, you have to know what I've just learned from the Shadowy Figure himself after a big announcement to everyone. He wasn't trying to replace us! He was just trying to add upgrades to the bosses! Saargtsson was just trying to scare me! I should've known that, coming from him. Why would the Shadowy Figure replace good old minions like us? He's not going to upgrade us too, though, since it didn't work so well last time he tried. Oh well, the knowledge that I'm not going to have to do dreadful chores out there for money is all I need. I already dreadful chores in here for free. At first, I thought that the upgrades were for a new attack on Stinkoman, but guess what? I was totally wrong. It appears that the original ultimate boss, not the ultimate ultimate boss that I thought existed for over a week, the one I talked about at the top of the last page and the bottom of this, is coming back. He mailed Shadowy Figure on the day I found him working in his laboratory again, saying he's returning to, and I quote "finish some...un...finished...business...yeah". Yeah, that's enough to put a chill in my spine. I can't imagine how it is for the Shadowy Figure. Updates soon.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=March 6|H=A Good Night's Sleep|M=Indescribable|S=Escaping the Lava Zone|E=It worked! It worked! I know what happened! You see, I constructed the perfect plan to stop the Shadowy Figure. I'd sneak back into his laboratory and mess with the parts when SF wasn't looking so the ultimate ultimate enemy wouldn't be as ultimate, maybe even bad. Then we'd never be thrown out. Unfortunately, Saargtsson decided to be loyal for once and stop me in my tracks. There was an inevitable struggle, and I was the inevitable loser. I was dragged to the Lava Zone unconscious, and fell through a crack in the floor (thanks again, whoever designed this place). I ended up falling through another crack and into the dark layer above the lava, which was softening, hence the rising heat. I've just jumped out of the crack and am currently getting the heck out of here before the entire Lava Zone collapses. I have no idea where Saargtsson is right now, but when I see him again, I swear to you all that I'm going to... run the opposite direction! Now that that's all settled and done, I'm going back to my friends. I hope I wasn't missed too long. I'm totally lying. I hope they missed me like crazy! ^_^}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=March 5|H=This is the Day. Seriously|M=Determined to get out of this pothole|S=In a dark mysterious, and hotter place|E=I've managed to get myself back together, so now I'm going to actually think. How did I get here, and how can I get out of here? Well, so far, after looking at the entries at the bottom of the page, I got that I was trying to figure out what the Shadowy Figure was up to in his laboratory, and I learned that he was creating an enemy more ultimate his most ultimatist enemy, if that makes sense. If not, just look at the entries yourself. I'm still not in my most thoughtful state. Anyway, I was apparently about to stop the Shadowy Figure's plan before ending up here. My best guess would be that it didn't go well. But I'm not sure if Shadowy Figure would be cruel enough to just let me die like this. I am gaining strength, but I'm not sure if it's enough yet. I might have a few days, or even a few hours, left. Which is why I need to know everything as soon as possible. And so far I have a good head start. So let's hope that a good night's sleep will be the thing to get me my memory back.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=March 5|H=Get Ready For Fried Chicken|M=Disoriented|S=In a dark mysterious, and hot place|E=Whoa, in this time I've been here, it's never been this hot. Regular chickens can't handle non-neutral weather. I have no idea what could happen to only the head of one. Something gives me the idea it won't be pretty. More incentive for me to get out of here as soon as possible. So far, the only effects I've endured is slowing of heart rate, which is fine since my heart is extremely tiny anyway. Or that could be bad. The heat has affected my thinking, too. Which will just make figuring out how I got here all the more difficult. Oh well. By the way, the temperature is also slowing me down, too. Which in itself could actually be caused by my heart rate, but it's really the same thing. Anyway, it's taken an hour just to get this far, so I don't think I'll continue. More later.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=March 4|H=Putting It All Together|M=Puzzled|S=In a dark and mysterious place|E=Yikes, I've been out cold for a week. How did I get down here, though? I recognize the place, but I'm not sure... My head hurts. I'm not sure what happened. The last thing I remember was eating some juicy seeds, then I woke up here. Everything in between was a blur. This is a dark and mysterious place. More dark and mysterious than Shadowy Figure's lair. I have absolutely no idea what's going on around here. Did I do or say something to provoke someone into knocking me out and dragging me down here? I wouldn't put it past myself. But gosh, my head hurts. I'll try and figure this out tomorrow.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 25|H=The Ultimate Ultimate Enemy|M=Cautious|S=Under my bed thinking|E=So, in my day of watching the Shadowy Figure work in his lab, I learned one thing. He's building a new enemy, one better than all others, including the one I talked about in the last entry. He is making it a robot, though, so it won't make the mistake of having free will. How did I learn this, you may ask? Well, I'm a very physiological chicken, and could tell these things from noticeable features like how hard and quickly he worked, the number of grunts per hour, that type of stuff. It also helped that I bumped into Saargtsson after I left from boredom and he told me everything. This is a very serious matter, though. If the Shadowy Figure finally makes a boss capable of defeating Stinkoman, he won't have a need for us anymore and we'll be out on the street! I've got to do something before it's too late.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 24|H=Don't Try This At Home|M=Serene|S=Watching the Shadow Figure hidden in his lab|E=A boss that everyone would shake to at the mere utter of his name. Such a powerful boss like that would be perfect for the Shadowy Figure's plans. Stinkoman would never be able to stop it once he got to the lair. After a few days, SF finally finished this ultimate boss, which was, for a few seconds, his most wonderful achievement. However, this powerful boss came with an even more powerful ego, and after the Shadowy Figure was finished creating him, he rebelled at the first order, fighting the Shadowy Figure off when he tried to constrain him, and escaping the lair. The Shadowy Figure ended up with a horrible scar after that defeat and never showed his face to anyone or came into the lab ever again. Until now.

And look up serene yourself.}}

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2015-10-01T04:14:58Z

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Terrell's Blog/13

2015-10-01T04:13:55Z

JCM: Created page with "{{Terrell'sBlog}} {{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 24|H=Don't Try This At Home|M=Serene|S=Watching the Shadow Figure hidden in his lab|E=No, the Shadowy Figure is not h..."

{{Terrell'sBlog}}
 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 24|H=Don't Try This At Home|M=Serene|S=Watching the Shadow Figure hidden in his lab|E=No, the Shadowy Figure is not hidden in his lab, I'm hidden in his lab. While watching him, I'm going to tell you about a major accident that happened here. Yes, I talked about accidents happening here before, like me and the other misfit minions, but there were others. It all started about a year ago. While I was enjoying life under Stinkoman's kitchen, the Shadowy Figure was cooking up the ultimate scheme, like the ultimate ULTIMATE scheme. Stinkoman was fighting through his robots and was nearing his first robot with human intelligence, Tampo. But a robot with a brain wasn't enough for the Shadowy Figure. Neither were his other robots. Neither were us chickens. Neither were the Poorbts or Gaspeaus or the My Benjs. None of it was sufficient enough for the Shadowy Figure. He wanted everything planned for Stinkoman's timely demise, so he started building a boss like no other boss.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 23|H=Figuring out Shadow|M=Suspicious|S=See title|E=I thought last night would be the end of it, but I'm not sure anymore. The Shadowy Figure is acting more mysterious than usual. And being a walking silhouette and all, he's often very mysterious. Now he's just not, well, himself. He spends an inordinate amount of time in his lab, the sounds of a chainsaw woke me up this morning. What would he be doing with a chainsaw in a lab? Besides extremely illegal cloning techniques. I went down to ask him about it and he screamed me out of there. I care way too much about my life to try it again. He hasn't stepped foot in that lab since the last accident, which I'll tell you about tomorrow. Hopefully I'll piece things together by then.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 22|H=How it went|M=Superfluous|S=In my room amazingly unpunished|E=I heard the word "superfluous" somewhere and it sounded like the perfect one to use for my mood, even though I don't know what it means and don't feel like looking it up. In other news, the dinner yesterday went almost great. We made macaroni and cheese for the evil masters and they seemed pleased, until one of the evil masters, coincidentally the one we gave an eyepatch to, had a stroke and died. Evil masters are trained not to show their soft sides, so instead of mourning, they just continued on with their mac 'n cheese, then called a doctor, who revealed that the evil master was extremely allergic to every ingredient in our serving. The Shadowy Figure looked at me and the others scornfully during the burial and we went straight to bed. Hey, how were we supposed to know? Fortunately, we weren't given any punishment. The other evil masters said the eyeless one was worthless now, and they were planning to fire him during the dinner. Though he will be missed, it won't be a loss to them, so they didn't care. That was a close one.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 21|H=I Say|M=I say|S=I say-I mean, looking at cookbooks|E=It's funny how easily JCMBlogs got hacked. The administrator said it was because he choose too easy a password for the site (hint: it wasn't "jcm"). Hopefully he changed it by now, because I really don't want indecent pictures of me popping up whenever you read this blog. I know the rules of the instanet, but it doesn't mean I like it. Back to family safe discussion, the Shadowy Figure is apparently having some dinner guests over, most likely the evil masters I turned against him. He asked us minions to "make use of ourselves" and cook the dinner. Yes! This is my chance to redeem myself! I'll tell you guys how I inevitably fail tomorrow.

And yes, I'm reverting back to my regular format. The variety gets annoying after a while. I'll just update my blog regularly and see how it goes, k?}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 19|H=The Unbearable Sadness of Being (Myself)|M=Unbearably sad|S=Being myself|E=I really love this entry format. I'd never be able to pull off just repeating the title twice if I used another one, though "Being myself" isn't really much of a scene. Hey, it gets the bills paid. Anyway, since moment to moment stuff doesn't work out, I'll have no choice but to talk about my-gulp-feelings. Even though I am a tiny chicken head, I do like to think of myself as relatively tough. I've pulled off things no other chicken head ever thought to pull off. I've never seen another chicken head before, but I'd like to think they'd never be able to pull off the things I've pulled off in their lifetimes. Anyway again, it still hurts to be a chicken head. People always push you around. Like you're nothing but a chicken head. I'm much more. I'm a chicken head with feelings. And I don't enjoy being pushed around like a chicken head. Please, if you ever see a chicken head walking down the street, and you're completely sober, just leave it alone. That or step on it and end its misery once and for all. But the latter would cause an animal cruelty suit, so I wouldn't recommend that. Hey, that wasn't really that bad. I like getting it all out. Maybe I should try it more in the future. I'm a chicken head. I can't get more humiliated by anything than that fact.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 18|H=Let's Get This Started Then|M=Neutral|S=Irrelevant|E=I'm not going to worry about the moods and scenes for now, I'll just update. Today I woke up from bed and ate an apple seed. Then I said "Hi" to my friends sarcastically (as I'm still kind of angry at them about last) and ate another apple seed. Then I went out and watched the clouds while chewing on another apple seed. After that, I went back inside and ate dinner, which was, you guessed it, a bologna sandwich. That's pretty much all. I think just talking about my day to day activities isn't going too well. I'll try out something new tomorrow.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 17|H=I Thought It Never Had to Come To This|M=Woeful|S=Doing absolutely NOTHING|E=You probably don't have a completely clear idea of what woe is, so I'll tell you anyway. Woe means distress, which I am right now. I haven't been this bored for a while. Those of you who regularly read the blog since its start (read: None of you) should know that I wasn't exactly the most exciting chicken head at the beginning. The climax of the first page was when my big dark secret was about to come out. So yeah, a lot happened this past year, and I'm glad there's this blog to keep the memories preserved on, because I don't exactly have the largest of brains, obviously. However, since nothing good is happening anymore, I guess I'll have to start talking about my random day to day moments again, like 96% of blogs out there do. This blog has started to become a storyline-riddled episodic. And "started to" is probably and understatement. So yeah, for the rest of the week, I'll just use this blog to talk about whatever random stuff is on my mind, trying to keep to the 15-line limit without having to continue on to the next entry. Let's see how that goes.}}

Terrell's Blog/12

2015-10-01T04:13:03Z

JCM: Created page with "{{Terrell'sBlog}} {{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 16|H=Benj-ee Jumping|M=Amused|S=At the field watching My Benjs get shot up|E=Yes, if you didn't know, I was just kidd..."

{{Terrell'sBlog}}
 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 16|H=Benj-ee Jumping|M=Amused|S=At the field watching My Benjs get shot up|E=Yes, if you didn't know, I was just kidding in the last entry. To make it up to you, I'll use a normal mood again. On another subject, I really shouldn't have so much fun watching the My Benjs get abused, but it's not my fault. They're always so smug about being almost indestructible. They're actually easy to physically kill, but they're so tiny and quick, it is a little harder than attacking me. Such tiny minions, tinier than me, shouldn't be this self-centered, though. It just shouldn't be possible. Needless to say, the fact that the Shadowy Figure banned My Benjs from his lair for being hard to control is one of the admirable things about the silhouetted guy. I was taking a stroll through the field today and saw them being chased by an angry farmer with a gun, probably because they were messing up his crops or something. My Benjs look unfortunately look much like pesty critters. So far, the farmer's got about 10 of them. I'll stay and watch as he gets the rest. It's pretty fun.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 15|H=Out of the Cupboard|M=Optimistic|S=Outside, enjoying my first breath of fresh air in days|E=Yes, you heard the title right, folks! The Shadowy Figure let me out of the cupboard! It only took about an hour or so of begging. -_- But it was totally worth it. I never loved the grass this much since forever! Not to mention the sun! Natural light is the greatest kind of light. I am currently peeved at my friends for not standing up for me, though. When you spend this much time in a cupboard, your whole outlook on life changes. You must cherish every single moment of-}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 14|H=Look At What You've Done|M=Turbulent|S=In another cupboard somehow|E=It seems JCMBlogs was down the last two days, considering it took about an hour for my browser to load a 404 Error. Anyway, turbulence means a state of unrest, which I am in. I tried to break out of the cupboard by taking a fork lying around and scratching myself through the wall. A crazy plan, I know, but it worked! And when I jumped through the hole I made, I ended up in another cupboard. After a bunch of jumping back and forth, I realized the Shadowy Figure must have specifically put cupboards on opposite sides of the wall so his prisoners wouldn't try and break. Well, at least I have more room. Though being trapped in a cupboard with nothing but your laptop probably won't be relieved very long by being trapped in ''two'' cupboards with nothing but your laptop, so I'm currently figuring out another way out of here while unsuccessfully trying to keep my cool, hence the mood.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 11|H=Cupboard-phobia|M=Apprehended|S=Still in the cupboard, hence the title|E=Apprehension means fear, and I'm in greater fear than ever now that I've stayed in this cupboard long enough. The Shadowy Figure hasn't fed me or let me out of the cupboard yet, and I'm afraid he isn't going to. This isn't just a regular cupboard you see nowadays. This is a medieval cupboard, with no glass door or anything of the sort. There is a small opening for me to breathe, but it's still extremely dark. And lonely, except for the fact that there are spiders all over the inside of this place, but with what Shadowy Figure does for a living, I might turn into a real live Spider-Man if I'm not careful enough around them. If the Shadowy Figure does let me out, I'm most likely going to be nervous around cupboards for the rest of my life. Which stinks, because I already suffer from Stinkophobia (or the fear of being blown up by Stinkoman). It's a word I coined. Clever, huh?}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 10|H=I Knew It Wouldn't Last|M=Melancholy|S=Sitting in the cupboard|E=Back to using moods no one's heard of, melancholy means being sad. Which I am. My days of happiness are over, as I decided to upset the Shadowy Figure. It wasn't even my fault. We were going to an evil master's convention, and me, Grundy, Brody, and some other minions were kept in a suitcase, probably because the Shadowy Figure was too embarrassed of us to show us to his friends, which is completely understandable. I'd be embarrassed of me, too, if I was in his shoes. Anyway, I was suffocating in the suitcase, so I I decided to break out of it. Thanks to Pink Cham Cham and his laser horns, I got out easily, but unfortunately, the suitcase's lock flew off and hit an evil master conveniently walking by in the eye. Fitting to say, the Shadowy Figure isn't allowed at any more conventions, because despite his inevitable denial of knowing us, he has a nasty habit of "trademarking" (I'm not going to tell you what that means) his creations. The other misfits minions quickly threw me under the bus, it being my idea and all, and SF decided to punish me using a method straight out of Harry Potter. The suitcase was heaven compared to this cupboard I'm sitting in.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 9|H=Birthday-and-a-half?|M=Indifferent|S=Coming out of bed|E=After 30 straight hours of watching the Super Bowl, I finally had a good night's sleep. Which is why I'm using a reasonable mood today. So, like I promised, I'm going to tell you about my birthday-and-a-half. You see, we chickens have short life spans, so every moment we have is a cause for celebration. That's why we mark half-years and regular years and sometimes even quarter years as holidays on our calenders. Humans have no need to do so, since they live an average of 75 years. And don't even mention robots. They can go hundreds of years without falling apart! Anyway, my half birthday was on January 29, meaning if you do the math, my actual birthday was around the time I took that month-long holiday. It was probably not a coincidence, but I have no idea since it six months ago. I could have simply lost track of time with all that was going on. Either way, I didn't have the best birthday in the world. Maybe it'll be better next time around.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 8|H=The Best Day Ever|M=Jubilated|S=Watching the Sports Plate rerun over and over again with Grundy and Brody|E=When you're nothing but a head, you have very little happy endings in life, and I think it's justifiable to say that this was one of those few happy endings. You see, jubilation means being in great joy, and I really am in great joy today. I haven't been this happy in years, and I'm only a year and 6 months old! Speaking of that, my birthday-and-a-half has just passed. More info on that tomorrow. Anyway, yesterday, a miracle happened. The Birds won. Somehow, they managed to catch up after it started raining and all the robots started short-circuiting. For once, flesh and bones beat out nuts and bolts. Then, as I watched the Birds fly around in victory, the Shadowy Figure and the rest came in the door. I was too cheerful to be angry at them for abandoning me, and when I told them what happened, they all congratulated me and crowded around the big screen in awe, except the Shadowy Figure, who just stayed in the corner muttering something about losing a bet. Eh, who needs him anyway? Me and my friends will never stop watching the reruns of the day birds defied all odds.}}

Terrell's Blog/11

2015-10-01T04:07:32Z

JCM: Created page with "{{Terrell'sBlog}} {{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 7|H=Go Birds!|M=Zestful|S=Watching the Sports Plate|E=It's a great thing Wikipedia survived all these years. Zest is..."

{{Terrell'sBlog}}
 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 7|H=Go Birds!|M=Zestful|S=Watching the Sports Plate|E=It's a great thing Wikipedia survived all these years. Zest is really just being excited, which I am, because there's nothing to take the edge off like watching sports while eating a big bag of apple seeds. The team I go for is the Birds, because, obviously, I can relate to them. Even though they'll never beat the impenetrable Robots, just the idea that they made it this far is enough to make me proud of who I am. While watching these birds get crushed and thrown and just humiliated, I see myself in a way, and that's enough to make me enjoy sports to the extent that I watch the Sports Plate each year. And on that note, the Shadow Figure and folks just sent me a letter saying they'll be back soon. Let's hope they keep their promise. It's less exciting to watch sports alone. Fortunately for them, I'm recording this.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 6|H=And now we're back|M=Exasperated|S=Trying to fill in the plotholes however I can|E=Yes, exasperation is an actual mood. It really means the same as annoyance, but hey, whatever will make me look most original. Now, for the scenes, well, I gave up on those a while ago. Anyway, I think it's time to talk about what happened to minions like me. We were created using chemical combinations. That's also how most of the bosses were created, too, but our chemicals are less strong, just powerful enough to make a difference. But when you're using chemicals, things can go wrong. That's why Grundy has no arms, Stobat has no appetite control, and I have no, well, body. The Shadowy Figure just dismissed us as good enough and sent us on our way. We aren't the only messed up minions, though. Gokul was supposed to be an advanced Poorbt, and Pink Cham Cham was supposed to be a terrifying monster with laser guns for horns. That's probably why SF favors robots. He had more control when creating them, so they all turned out favorable. I don't have any idea why only we ended up how we did, and why only some of the Lava Zone minions ended up how they did. I filled in enough plotholes for today, don't you think?}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 6|H=Oh look, a blog|M=Unsatisfied|S=Writing a strongly worded email to JCMBlogs|E=Sorry I skipped a day, but to make it up to you, I'll do 2 entries in one day! You see, JCMBlogs had a server overhaul, which made me unable to create entries and also caused me to lose a lot of the images I embedded. Their service is terrible and I don't recommend it to anyone. It took a month just to get my blog open again, because they have some policy against extremely inactive blogs. Because less updates equals less money, and JCM Productions is not a non-profit organization. But that gives them no right to add an entry count to my control panel, because now I get reminded every day that I'm not actually at 70 entries. Thanks, And on another note, I'm running out of moods. Maybe I should start making them up like that Homsar dude. Man, his blog was so awesome. If only Super Sam.com still existed. I definitely would have chosen that as my provider. 
''Edit by administrator: You are on thin ice, my friend.'' 
How was I supposed to know that the administrator read my blog regularly?}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 4|H=Where the Wilder Things Are|M=Unaccepted|S=In the lair alone|E=Well, this is great. The Shadowy Figure left with Brody and the enemies but forgot about me! I hate this place enough already. Missing out on chances to leave doesn't help. I almost feel they abandoned me on purpose. I wish my clones weren't defeated like the other enemies' (besides The Benj, of course). Speaking of that, I haven't really talked about the bosses or enemies in this blog yet, so I think this is a good time. Grundy, Stobat, and I are from a long line of minions chosen to assist bosses, who I already said were created by the Shadowy Figure. However, most of them couldn't survive the wrath of Stinkoman and were blown up. But the few that did survive are Brody, of course, Tampo (currently a brain in a cup of water), Liekand (currently a mouse living in the wall), and Saargtsson (currently the SF's assistant). The minions were made by the Shadowy Figure by the bosses' request, since taking on "The Guy" wasn't going to be easy. Long story short, here we are. But there is more. The reason why there are mutant minions like me will be covered later. Hopefully, everyone will be back by then.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 3|H=Moving on|M=Chill|S=Getting used to my location|E=You know? Now that I've read the previous blog entries again and realized what I've been through until now, I understand that I should be lucky we were picked up from the road this time. And even though I hate this place and everyone here (except Brody and my friends, of course), I think I can adapt to this place. After all, it is in my genes, right? Some of the earliest birds had to adapt from water to land and I'm pretty sure they didn't like their new lifestyle at first themselves. And if they can grow on land, I can grow on the Shadowy Figure's lair. Hey, wait a minute. I'm only a few inches tall! I can't grow on anything. I'm destined to be miserable all my life! You know what, forget this entire entry. I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to Stinkoman now. >:(}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 2|H=The Haunted House of Horrors|M=Creeped out|S=Shadowy Figure's lair|E=Something I hate about the lair, besides the Shadowy Figure's constant rudeness, is the atmosphere. Brody and my friends seem to like it here, though. I don't know why. Yeah, it's a mansion. But it's more like a ''haunted'' mansion. If you've seen it yourself, you'd know. It's always dark and gloomy. That's the Shadowy Figure's style, though, so I won't peck on him for that. But either way, I hate it here and want to go home. All the other bosses and enemies probably feel that too. Stinkoman destroyed all of their places a while ago. Luckily, Stinkoman wasn't idiotic enough to destroy his own house, so we got the long end of the stick. If we weren't kicked out, we'd still be living there, which I will probably continue to complain about until the end of this week. It's too bad he didn't destroy this foul place with the rest, thanks to that settlement I'm legally required not to reveal on this blog.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=February 1|H=I'm Back|M=Bewildered|S=On my computer again|E=Wow, I haven't made a post in almost a year. It's a new record, not just for Terrell's Blog, but blogs as a whole! Though I better check that for accuracy. Nope. Turns out I'm wrong. It's nice to be back on here anyway. I don't know what could have been dire enough to keep me away from my love and joy. Oh, yeah, now I remember. We've moved to the lair of someone called the "Shadowy Figure". I know. It's very mysterious. It seems that he's the creator of Brody and the other bosses and enemies and that "tiny freaks like me" were just "unfortunate by-products". I hate him already. The reason we're moving in the first place is because Stinkoman knows where we live now and is not exactly a fan of sharing, so he kicked us out. More on that later.}}

Terrell's Blog/10

2015-10-01T03:59:58Z

JCM: Created page with "{{Terrell'sBlog}} {{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=July 31|H=The End? Nah|M=Confidential|S=On Stinkoman's roof.|E=Today is the day. No, not the day to end Terrell's Blog. I'm no..."

{{Terrell'sBlog}}
 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=July 31|H=The End? Nah|M=Confidential|S=On Stinkoman's roof.|E=Today is the day. No, not the day to end Terrell's Blog. I'm not doing that until I have at least 100 entries. Yes, I know I'm going ahead of myself because of the fact that I have more entries than any blog ever, but I'm not stopping until I reach my goal. Terrells are not quitter! Usually. But what do you think? I'm less than an inch tall! Sometimes, we just have to quit. But, that's not the point. I'm not quitting in this situation because it's possible to do it without dying or getting seriously injured. Terrells aren't quitters when it comes to something that won't get us killed or seriously injured. OK, in some situations, we are, but, let's just get back on topic! I'm sure people back then had a name for something like this. Breadink? No. Buncrayon? Can't be. Tinfoil? OK, now I'm making no sense. Anyway, whatever that word is, I'm going to do it right now. So, today is the day my blog gets to the 70th entry. And to celebrate, I'm going to take a vacation. I know I just came back from one, but I didn't know I was so close to 70 entries at the time. So, goodbye for goodness knows how long. May you never forget the chicken head writing this. Because he's so adorable, and cute. How could you forget someone like little ol' me?}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=July 30|H=Exercised out|M=See title|S=In bed.|E=Well, I couldn't find something to reference for this situation, so I decided to use an original title, I think. But, enough about my header, let's about me. I tried to get Stobat to exercise, but he refused to do it alone. I asked Grundy and he said he was busy cleaning up, but he would gladly switch. Of course, I didn't take the offer, so I went to Brody and he laughed in my face, saying trying to get him to exercise is like trying to get Pan Pan to. Hmm, I should think about doing the same to Pan Pan if my plan works. Anyway, since I was the only chicken left, I had no choice: exercise with Stobat. Well, i do have a choice: Clean up the place, or exercise with Stobat. But, this place is a pigsty. In other words, pigs should be living here, not chickens. But, no worry, exercising with Stobat is easy. Just say that you're going to be next, and, when your turn comes up, say you have to go to the bathroom. The strange thing is, it worked even though we don't even have a bathroom! Even if we did, I couldn't use it, I'm a chicken head! So, he had to take my turn. Though, I felt kind of bad for Stobat, so I exercised in my room. I jumped up and down 100 times. Now, I'm wore out. Or, exercised out! Yeah, I'm still not funny.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=July 29|H=Seeds of Luxury|M=Spoiled|S=In Stinkoman's refrigerator.|E=I don't know if the title is referencing anything, it just sound like it is. Anyway, I'm in Stinkoman's refrigerator, eating some leftover apple seeds. I feel so spoiled here. And cold. But, at least I'm not in the freezer! *silence* Yeah, that wasn't meant to be funny. Anyway, I love these apple seeds. Is it wrong to love a fruit? And, if it is, is it wronger to love the fruit's seeds? I thought not. Anyway, apple seeds are very healthy and it a great part of any dieting chicken. Of course, I don't need to diet. I don't even have a body to be skinny with! Though, Stobat, on the other hand, does need to diet. He says he's big-boned, but considering all the times he released his bones, it'd be near-impossible to believe that. And he says he hates fruit seeds. Weirdo. Anyway, I'm going to either force him to exercise or force seeds down his throat. Either way, he will lose weight. In fact, I'm going to start right now!}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=July 28|H=Vacation|M=Relaxed|S=Back at home after a month-long vacation|E=Hi, guys, please don't think of this as an excuse of why I didn't update in over a month, because it is. You see, on June 25, Brody picked me up and threw me into one of Stinkoman's suitcases. I forgot about that month-long vacation we have every year. Too bad I didn't have any time to get my suitcase, because Brody left after that. Anyway, for the vacation, we went to Austarilia. It took us only two days to get there! I didn't know that Brody and Grundy could swim like ducks. Must be a gift they have with having no legs. I wish I had a gift for having no legs, or any body part, for that matter. Anyway, poor Stobat was too heavy and had to "walk" there from underwater. Luckily, Stobat has the ability to hold his breath for 718 days. I can't hold my breath for 5 seconds! After a month we came back, taking the equal amount of time. Even though, when we got there, the place was very hot and the only cool thing there were the clamburgers they had, I did learn something. I have no purpose in life but to annoy passerbys.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=June 24|H=Something|M=Whatev|S=Somewhere|E=Yeah, so today was a cool day, man. I was messin' around with those inventions and, boy, some weird flash came on my dang face! Heh, but nothing happened to me, yo, at all. At all! Oh dear, I'm going crazy, but I don't care! Ha ha ha! I should stop this. But I won't! Hee hee! Can someone please help me? So my nerdy side won't come back, yeah! Please help. Or else, yo! Gosh, this is so dumb! Oh my gosh! Why me? Why did I have o play with that invention. I should've listened to Brody and kept my hands to myself! Dude, lighten up! No! You're embarrasing me on this blog entry, considering the fact that I'm talking to myself! Wah wah, I don't wanna be cool! I don't! I'm just a darn chicken! I'm just a darn chicken. Are you mocking me? Yes sir, yes sir I am. Crud, I hate this side effect. Now you're calling me names? Yes sir, yes sir I am. :P But seriously, I need to end this. See ya.}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=June 23|H=The Cluck of Friendship|M=Extatic|S=Wowed in Stinkoman's-you know.|E=Sorry about the referencing of an old movie in my title, but this blog's inactivity amazes me. Guess what, I found out my competition's blog was cheated to the most entries so I have the most! Hooray! I know, it doesn't excuse my absence. Nothing will. But, at least I have a reason this time. Hooray! I'll stop now. Anyway, this month, I ate apples and Stinkoman and 1-Up came back with-guess who? Yes, my mother! Not really, it was Brody, Grundy, and Stobat. But, that's the same thing. Right? Hopefully not. Anyway, I was never that happy in my life! I still don't know how Stinkoman got them, I was too excited to ask. Oh well, at least I don't have to run away looking for them again. Even though it happened last week, it feels like 6 days ago when they came back. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to play with my two best(and only) friends!}} 
{{Terrell'sBlog/Entry|D=June 9|H=Unexcused|M=Lazy-ish|S=Nothing much|E=OK, everyone, I got to 70 entries and then I started slacking more than usual. I mean, just 19 more entries and I'll have the most blog entries than anyone ever. I feel so special. So, I decided to play around in Stinkoman's kitchen. I went into the refrigerator and had a good time there...until I accidentally knocked over a bottle...on myself. Darn, that hurt. Anyway, I was unconscious for three weeks. Then I woke up in the hospital. 1-Up apparently found me on the ground with that broken bottle and he decided to help me. By the way, I forgot to make him a thank-you letter. I should get to that, since he's saved my life twice. Yep, that would be nice. And I'm a nice bird. Anyway, I asked one of the nurses if they had a computer somewhere, and they freaked out. 1-Up then told me that this wasn't a hospital, it was a vet. But, he's probably joking. Vets are for cats and dogs, not chickens. So, I looked around the place for one. The kids around here are such crybabies. They acted like they never saw a chicken head before. The parents then assaulted me instead of telling their children that I'm a patient. What bad examples. So, I finally found a computer. It was in a nurse's office. And here I am on it now.}}

Template:Terrell'sBlog/Entry

2015-10-01T03:59:45Z

JCM: strong sadding this shiznit

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{{{D}}} - {{{H}}}</th>
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'''Mood:''' http://i1057.photobucket.com/albums/t381/Coconautical/terrell_zps6axktlkz.png {{{M}}} 
'''Scene:''' {{{S}}} 

{{{E}}}
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Template:Terrell'sBlog

2015-10-01T03:55:15Z

JCM: yee haw

<table align="center" id="navbox" style="margin: 0 2em 0 2em; padding: 0.2em; background:#FFD700">
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<td width="145">http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/images/2/2f/Terrell.png</td>
<td align="center" valign="center"><big><big><big>TERRELL'S TIIINY BLOG!</big></big></big> '''''"A baby chick with no body? That's freaky."'''''

[[Terrell's Blog/1|1]], [[Terrell's Blog/2|2]], [[Terrell's Blog/3|3]], [[Terrell's Blog/4|4]], [[Terrell's Blog/5|5]], [[Terrell's Blog/6|6]], [[Terrell's Blog/7|7]], [[Terrell's Blog/8|8]], [[Terrell's Blog/9|9]], [[Terrell's Blog/10|10]], [[Terrell's Blog/11|11]], [[Terrell's Blog/12|12]], [[Terrell's Blog/13|13]], [[Terrell's Blog/14|14]], [[Terrell's Blog/15|15]]

''Terrell's Blog is hosted for free at [[User:JCM|JCMBlogs]]''
</td></tr></table>

Wikihood/characters/JCM

2015-03-09T03:56:10Z

JCM: rewriting

== Basic Info ==
'''JCM''' is the oldest resident of Townindale, witnessing the construction of Wikihood Manor as a child. He claims to have known the monor's original owner, but he's forgotten most details about him due to is advanced age. He regularly hits on Ventin, getting rebuffed by her at best and nearly killed by her at worst. He is sexist, racist, and slightly homophobia, but despite these flaws, he's respected in the Wikihood Manor for his wisdom and knowledge; plus, he's really good with a cane.

== Descriptive Information ==
*Full Name: Jason C Mendleson
*Gender: Male
*Age: 118
*Height: 4 Feet, 9 Inches
*Weight: 120 lb
*Eyes: Black
*Skin Color: Teal

Wikihood/Places

2015-03-09T03:16:21Z

JCM: you people are pathetic

==Townindale==

Where our story starts, and mostly takes place. The town of Townindale is surprisingly developed for a random town in Listless, America. The most central location in our story is of course the '''Wikihood Manor'''. Of course all of the big problems in town are oft run by '''Town Hall.''' The only other real places of note include '''D'Arque Theater''' , which is known for having mysteriously been abandoned, fell apart, and sent into a state of disuse and disrepair.

===Wikihood Manor===

[[File:Floorplan.png|thumb|right|Floorplan schematics of the Wikihood household, with room assignments.]]

The happy home where our story starts. Censuses from past tell us that the house is many many many years old, originally owned by a currently mysterious owner, who put it straight to market. However, as it went up on the market, he mysteriously disappeared, for no explainable reason. In his stead, Town Hall finished the papers and filed the house onto the market, where it was bought by 4 people, all claiming to be "successful college graduates", though the validity of this point is no longer visible. These 4 people: Chaos, Lex, Vindicator, and Noxigar, would spend the next year or so in the manor. As The Fates would have it though, there's a huge blank in Census records, where it seemed nobody inhabited the house. However, about another 5 years later in 2011, only three names were written on the census: Noxigar, Lex, and Chaos. Similarly, Vindicator's name was written off all of the papers, and he is no longer considered to have anything to do with the house. The house has recently evaded becoming the future site of the Townindale Dump, and has since been accepting new people to come live in it at a meager cost of rent. The house is doin' pretty good; Membership has doubled in less than a month, and the gang has become active in efforts against the tyrannical Debonair D'Arque.

It was revealed in Episode 5 that the entire crew jumped ship for a few years to evade authorities both on Earth and from outer space. Vindi returned before everyone else, but was confined to the basement for the rest of his days. The house was temporarily moved to Midway City, where it was kept safe from D'Arque's influence, but then brought into the domain of James Rosenberg, who attempted to appeal to the sensitivities of the Wikihood with his "enemy-of-my-enemy" proposition, but to no avail. After being put smack dab in the middle of their conflict, the household has been trying to survive while the two forces slowly mobilize and gain momentum in what will surely become an epic conflict.

===Townindale Hall===

The Town Hall, it has been there an unnaturally long time, and it shows on the outside of the building. It appears that Chaos has an obvious hatred of them for their desire to pry their way into Chaos' personal life (which he never liked himself), and the fact that he was caught up in it for almost 12 hours, trying to file the paperwork to stop his house from becoming a dump. His inability to get things done couple with the fact that they have such prying eyes caused him to snap and grow a sinful anger at the Hall, presumably because a building won't get mad at him. He may just vent his frustrations by talking all talk. Unsurprisingly, nobody else among the Wikihood Manor's inhabitants seem to share his antagonism with Town Hall.

===D'Arque's Theater===

The D'Arque Theater has a long and powerful history about it, established by the namesake of the theater, Debonair D'Arque, one of the original of the D'Arque bloodline. D'Arque seems to spend most of his time here, despite it being ruined and dilapidated. Regardless of whether or not this is his homebase or if he operates out of a different venue is unknown. The theater was recently re-opened by D'Arque in an attempt to subdue and thwart the Wikihood gang, although his attempts were ultimately foiled thanks to Lex wasting large quantities of money making "movie magic". D'Arque seems to have avid interest in having the building restored to a hospitable state, though his exact reasons behind it are unknown.

===The Black Market===

Occasionally, Remolay and Lex (as well as their compatriots) venture into the sewers of Towningdale, where the Black Market is located. Various businesses are present there, such as a general store and a Bed Bath & Beyond. Despite its dubious name, there's actually nothing illegal about the market in question, simply being the choice area for certain businesses due to its low rent. However, its unconventional position in Townindale is also particularly convenient in the fact that the residents of The Black Market are less susceptible to D'Arque's evil overground shenanigans.

===Mount Nottigen===

The location of D'Arque's manor house and the highest point in Townindale. The manor was where Debonair D'Arque's Mad Dash took place; however, after the events of the Mad Dash the Wikihood gang was responsible for blowing it up using some mines that were set off with voice command. The act of arson thankfully did not damage anything else in Mt. Nottigen.

==Phoenixshire==

A town adjacent to Townindale, Listless, America. Oiracul originates from Phoenixshire.

=== DuFour Estate ===

Oiracul's original home. Originally in the claim of a singular person, it was then transferred to Oiracul and her companions, who were assigned to keep tabs on the area to keep the interests in the area safe. The house was eventually ruined in a falling out that also left Oiracul personally homeless. The outcome of the conflicts that drover her from her home, as well as the actual status of the estate, are still a mystery.

==Midway City==
[[File:Midway.png|thumb|right|The city, in all its glory. Well, the good part of it at least.]]

The sprawling metropolis known as Midway City happens to be the biggest city in Listless, USA, and also the place where James Rosenberg takes main residence. A city defined by its almost-futuristic cityscape, it is known to be the forefront of technology and enlightenment in the state of Listless. The reason why this city is renowned for its marvels is due to the one and only James Rosenberg, who's never-ending genius and sprawling technological empire transformed this once humble desert mining-town into the beacon of enlightenment today.

Lately however, the city has fallen on some hard times, and as such, is not performing at its maximum capacity. Several areas of the city have fallen into urban decay, and while it is not as bad as Bluehaven, it still is not the most pleasant of areas. Really, it's just like any other city, with its humble suburbs, poor ghettos, right down to the center, where at night, the city looks like something out of a sci-fi film. How it managed to develop so quickly is a mystery to everyone but the illusive man who lives in the tower.

===Rosenberg Tower===

The Midway City equivalent of Town Hall. This is where Stephanie Young resides, as her occupation demands it. It's also James Rosenberg's firm location, as he cannot leave the premises without risking fatal injuries from Midway City's atmosphere.

== Bluehaven ==

A city in-between Phoenixshire and Midway. Known to many as the worst city in the entire United States of America, due to it's high amount of gang-related crime and poverty. Originally considered one of the greatest cities back in the 1950s, time has not been kind to this city, as economic problems has caused this city to decline hard. A city where the yearly homicide rate is higher than that of the whole of Canada, its reputation precedes it greatly. Despite its corrupt city government, the real rulers of this city happen to be "The Glabal MC", a tyrannical motorcycle gang hell-bent on causing terror and destruction wherever they happen to ride.

== San Cristóbal ==
[[File:San Cristóbal.png|thumb|right|What up]]
San Cristóbal is a coastal city located a short distance away from Towningdale. Known for its beautiful beaches and resorts, and located in an area that gets sun almost all year around, San Cristóbal is known to many as one of the best vacation spots around. It is also renowned for its amazing club and party culture, and also the main residence of the King of Clubs himself, Marv Rosenberg, the owner of many famous nightclubs around the country. It is truly a place that is loved by many. One interesting thing to note about this city is the fact that in terms of fashion and common pop-culture, it really hasn't left the 1980s at all. While all the other cities in America went through a cultural change once the 90s came, San Cristóbal was perfectly happy staying as it was. This, along with the natural progression of technology, makes the city look rather anachronistic.

JCM Grows Up While ExKizuna Gets In Touch With His Female Side

2015-02-26T02:19:03Z

JCM: how did i not notice this

(ExKizuna is shivering in the nurse's office. JCM takes a thermometer out of his mouth.)

ExKizuna: How's it looking, doc?

JCM: I don't know. I can't read this stuff.

ExKizuna: Then why did you use the thermometer in the first place?

JCM: Who's the doctor here?

ExKizuna: What the fuck is wrong with me?

JCM: You probably just have a headache.

ExKizuna: Headaches cause shivering?

JCM: I think so. Just take some asprin from that blue container over there, and you should be fine.

ExKizuna: The blue container?

JCM: Yes. The red container.

ExKizuna: But you just said the blue container.

JCM: Did I?

ExKizuna: Make up your fucking mind!

JCM: Oh, I remember now! It's the purple container!

ExKizuna: Alright. Purple container. I'm sticking with that.

(ExKizuna grabs the purple container, opens it, and pours the pills into his mouth.)

JCM: Wait, no. The purple container is where I store my estrogen pills.

ExKizuna: Estrogen pills? Why the fuck do you take estrogen pills?

JCM: It keeps stuff from happening...down there.

ExKizuna: YOU USE ESTROGEN PILLS TO KILL BONERS?

JCM: ExKizuna! We are in a school setting!

ExKizuna: (grabs JCM's neck) I AM GOING TO...snuggle you like a snuggle snuggie bear! (hugs JCM)

JCM: I like this new Ex! Oh, no! There aren't any pills left! And I'm starting to get...the feeling.

(Ex lets go of JCM in shock as a tent appears in his pants. JCM then grows a mustache and beard.)

JCM: (feels face) Oh, my goodness! Without the pills, the rest of my masculine functions are taking effect, also!

ExKizuna: Thank you so very much for the help! Goodbye, fuzzy wuzzlekins! (skips out of the office)

JCM: Wait, ExKizuna! (trips over beard) This is not going to end well.

(ExKizuna skips down the hall until he's stopped by Clappy.)

Clappy: Why are you frolicking, sir?

ExKizuna: Wouldn't you frolick, too, if your life was happy and flowers and sunshine?

Clappy: OH MY GOD! WHAT DID JCM DO TO YOU?

ExKizuna: He did nothing to me, you silly willy!

Clappy: (rubs head) Okay, okay. Just stand next to my office and try to look intimidating.

ExKizuna: (giggles) Yes, sir!

(Clappy immediately runs into the nurse's office, where he sees JCM trying to smooth out the tent in his pants with a hammer.)

Clappy: What the fuck are you doing?

JCM: (deep voice) Nothing, principal! I'm just peachy!

Clappy: My friend Ex out there is even peachier!

JCM: I'm extremely sorry about that! I thought I hid my estrogen pills a lot better than I did!

Clappy: ESTROGEN PILLS? Why, JCM, why?

JCM: Do you think I wanted this to happen? Now I'm all broad-shouldered and muscular. I look like an idiot!

Clappy: You look like a man, JCM! Manliness is something to be proud of. I'm a man, Ex was a man, and now you're a man, too!

JCM: Yeah, a caveman.

Clappy: Don't be so hard on yourself. Once you shave your beard and that thing in your pants goes away, it'll all be good for you. Throw those fucking estrogen pills away.

JCM: It was good for me before. Nothing's going to convince me to stay like this. Nothing!

(ExKizuna walks into the office breast-feeding a baby.)

ExKizuna: (squeaky voice) I'm not sure where this baby came from, but it sure loves me, doesn't it?

Clappy: Nothing, JCM?

JCM: I think I'm going to throw up!

ExKizuna: It's just nature, guys.

Clappy: YOU ARE A MAN!

JCM: (swallows) Yes. And I'm a man, too.

(JCM throws the purple container away and walks out of the office.)

JCM: Look, everybody! I'm a man with a stiffie!

(The End)

JCM Grows Up While ExKizuna Gets In Touch With His Female Side

2015-02-26T02:15:18Z

JCM: memories

(ExKizuna is shivering in the nurse's office. JCM takes a thermometer out of his mouth.)

ExKizuna: How's it looking, doc?

JCM: I don't know. I can't read this stuff.

ExKizuna: Then why did you use the thermometer in the first place?

JCM: Who's the doctor here?

ExKizuna: What the fuck is wrong with me?

JCM: You probably just have a headache.

ExKizuna: Headaches cause shivering?

JCM: I think so. Just take some asprin from that blue container over there, and you should be fine.

ExKizuna: The blue container?

JCM: Yes. The red container.

ExKizuna: But you just said the blue container.

JCM: Did I?

ExKizuna: Make up your fucking mind!

JCM: Oh, I remember now! It's the purple container!

ExKizuna: Alright. Purple container. I'm sticking with that.

(ExKizuna grabs the purple container, opens it, and pours the pills into his mouth.)

JCM: Wait, no. The purple container is where I store my estrogen pills.

ExKizuna: Estrogen pills? Why the fuck do you take estrogen pills?

JCM: It keeps stuff from happening...down there.

ExKizuna: YOU USE ESTROGEN PILLS TO KILL BONERS?

JCM: ExKizuna! We are in a school setting!

ExKizuna: (grabs JCM's neck) I AM GOING TO...snuggle you like a snuggle snuggie bear! (hugs JCM)

JCM: I like this new Ex! Oh, no! There aren't any pills left! And I'm starting to get...the feeling.

(Ex lets go of JCM in shock as a tent appears in his pants. JCM then grows a mustache and beard.)

JCM: (feels face) Oh, my goodness! Without the pills, the rest of my masculine functions are taking effect, also!

ExKizuna: Thank you so very much for the help! Goodbye, fuzzy wuzzlekins! (skips out of the office)

JCM: Wait, ExKizuna! (trips over beard) This is not going to end well.

(ExKizuna skips down the hall until he's stopped by Clappy.)

Clappy: Why are you frolicking, sir?

ExKizuna: Wouldn't you frolick, too, if your life was happy and flowers and sunshine?

Clappy: OH MY GOD! WHAT DID JCM DO TO YOU?

ExKizuna: He did nothing to me, you silly willy!

Clappy: (rubs head) Okay, okay. Just stand next to my office and try to look intimidating.

ExKizuna: (giggles) Yes, sir!

(Clappy immediately runs into the nurse's office, where he sees JCM trying to smooth out the tent in his pants with a hammer.)

Clappy: What the fuck are you doing?

JCM: (deep voice) Nothing, principal! I'm just peachy!

Clappy: My friend Ex out there is even peachier!

JCM: I'm extremely sorry about that! I thought I hid my estrogen pills a lot better than I did!

Clappy: ESTROGEN PILLS? Why, JCM, why?

JCM: Do you think I wanted this to happen? Now I'm all broad-shouldered and muscular. I look like an idiot!

Clappy: You look like a man, JCM! Manliness is something to be proud of. I'm a man, Ex was a man, and now you're a man, too!

JCM: Yeah, a caveman.

Clappy: Don't be so hard on yourself. Once you shave your beard and that thing in your pants goes away, it'll all be good for you. Throw those fucking estrogen pills away.

JCM: It was good for me before. Nothing's going to convince me to stay like this. Nothing!

(ExKizuna walks into the office breat-feeding a baby.)

ExKizuna: (squeaky voice) I'm not sure where this baby came from, but it sure loves me, doesn't it?

Clappy: Nothing, JCM?

JCM: I think I'm going to throw up!

ExKizuna: It's just nature, guys.

Clappy: YOU ARE A MAN!

JCM: (swallows) Yes. And I'm a man, too.

(JCM throws the purple container away and walks out of the office.)

JCM: Look, everybody! I'm a man with a stiffie!

(The End)

Jason C. Mendleson

2015-02-10T03:20:09Z

JCM: Created page with "October 29, 2013 - February 9, 2015"

October 29, 2013 - February 9, 2015

RiffText/User:JCM/songs

2014-12-19T04:19:18Z

JCM: finishing off the soured songs

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hello, everybody! I'm back! With special guest Mr. Cloud. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Am I getting paid for this? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hahano. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Goodbye. ''{leaves}'' 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He'll be back. Anyway, tonight's victim is a collection of terrible parody lyrics from none other than JCM. He wrote these during a several-month-long Weird Al obsession, one that thankfully ended before he could grace us with any more of these atrocities. 
''{Mr. Cloud returns.}'' 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Did you seriously lock us inside this theater? Where's the keys? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You'll never find them. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' WHERE'S THE KEYS? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Shh! It's starting!
</blockquote>

''It seems today that all you see'' 
''Is postmodern humor of master's degree'' 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So wait, does the humor ''have'' a master's degree? How does that even work? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I refuse to riff this. I refuse to encourage this hostage situation. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, lighten up.
</blockquote>
''But where are those good old fashioned gimmicks'' 
''On which we used to rely?'' 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Used to? Have you ''seen'' the Big Bang Theory? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' HAHAHA THIS RIFF IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A POP CULTURE REFERENCE 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Screw you, you random assemblage of slightly-pressurized water vapor. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hit me where it hurts, why don't you?
</blockquote>
 
''Lucky there's a family guy'' 
''Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make the'' 
''Experts cry'' 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm crying right now. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What a baby.
</blockquote>
''Cause he's a family guy!''

Hey, Lois, remember that time when JCM wrote all those parodies and stuff:
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Those were dark times.
</blockquote>

== Parodies ==

=== Don't Upload That Pic ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZFOQ0hs6E "Don't Download This Song" by Weird Al].
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Parodying a comedy song? How does that...why would you...what? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Thank you for that sophisticated argument. You have certainly convinced me of your ability to form a coherent thought. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why are you riffing my riff? What is this, Riffception? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Ooh, Riffception. I need to sell that idea to Christopher Nolan. I'd make a killing.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge 
To turn and upload useless communism 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yes, comparing an annoying thing that people do with an entire, oft-abused system of government is a great way to get people on your side.
</blockquote>
Like bringing in images for file-sharing sites 
The Wiki User Wiki's already terrorism 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What...what does that even mean? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I think he just thought of some random thing that kind-of rhymed with communism and was like "sure!" despite the fact that it didn't make any sense whatsoever. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I still hate you, you know. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You'll get over it.
</blockquote>
 
But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad 
And the shame would kill your reputation 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' If the Wiki User Wiki is literally terrorism, I doubt the users there would have much reputation left to kill.
</blockquote>
'Cause it starts out as a file and it becomes a hotlink 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' It's usually the other way around. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And if the file is supposedly useless, why would you want to hotlink it, anyway?
</blockquote>
And cracking into sites from every comp in your nation 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm pretty sure that one comp will do if you're cracking into sites, but sure, let's use every computer in the country. That's viable.
</blockquote>
 
So don't upload that pic 
Photobucket's where you should stick 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Are we still talking about images? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' This sounds like it's straight from a 1950s Washington Post editorial.
</blockquote>
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Oh, you don't wanna mess with the whole MGMT 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Typing out words is for poseurs! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, you spelled it with the "u", too! 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That's when you know it's real.
</blockquote>
They'll ban you if you reupload that twice 
It doesn't matter if you're autistic
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What the fuck? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' WHAT THE FUCK?
</blockquote>
or a seven year old child 
They'll eat you like a giant delicious plate full of brown rice 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He was obviously hungry when he wrote this.
</blockquote>
 
So don't upload that pic 
Don't go around here acting like some hick 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' ''{imitating Hank Hill}'' I tell you what, Bobby. I sure love uploading useless files. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' HAHAHA THIS RIFF IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A POP CULTURE REFERENCE 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Okay, I deserved that.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't take away MBs from disk space like it's free 
How else can Super Sam afford to keep this great wiki 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That you just told us was equivalent to terrorism.
</blockquote>
And the HR and HRF 
These things don't grow on trees 
So all I ask is, "Everybody everybody please..." 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Put me out of my misery.
</blockquote>
 
Don't upload that pic (Don't do it, no, no) 
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's sick (You can just ask him) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Do you even know who Lars Ulrich is? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I think I extorted him for money once.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong (It's really wrong) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (Oh please, don't you do it) 
Or you might wind up banhammered really quick (Remember Jimbo) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Who has nothing to do with this site.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist (Ever) 'cause you know that it's wrong (Don't ever do it) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (No, no, no, no, no, no) 
You'll burn in hell from just a kick (And you'll deserve it) 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What kind of gravity-defying kick would someone have to give you to send you straight to hell? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' People take their pictures seriously.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist (Don't do it) 'cause you know that it's wrong (You stupid troll) 
Oh, don't upload that pic

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well, that song sucked. Hopefully, this next one will be
</blockquote>

=== Fat N' Lazy ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nf4DhXy9oU "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire].
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Nope.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

'''TEMPTERS:''' YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN GIANT! THAT MEANS EAT UP!

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm not feeling good about this one.
</blockquote>

They see me chowin' 
My garden 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' How would a garden be appetizing to a fat person? Or any person for that matter?
</blockquote>
I know they're all thinking 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy! 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' "Go with". Is that implying something? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Cloud! Get your mind out of the gutter! JCM probably hadn't even heard of sex when he wrote this!
</blockquote>
But so far they all think 
I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Really, really fat n' lazy 
 
Last in my class here at kindergarten 
No skills, I'm a loser at being retarded 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, yes. The obligatory offense towards disabled people. You never fail to disappoint.
</blockquote>
Mr. Bed is my BFF, Daddy Mack 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What what?
</blockquote>
Keep your cold one 
I'll just have some Pepsi Throwback 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Is this product placement? In a written parody? What the?
</blockquote>
My oven is hot enough to marry 
You'll find they are extremely rare-y 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What's rare? Ovens or hot ovens? Either way, your oven fetish gives me the creeps.
</blockquote>
All of my delicious meals are scary 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' What are you eating? Frankenstein falafels? Dracula dumplings?
</blockquote>
Doctors are watching my library 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Ooookay?
</blockquote>
My wiki pages are never touched 
I got people running from my own friends spaces 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Assuming there's enough space around you for friends to inhabit! 'Cause you're fat! Can somebody call a doctor? We've got a third degree burn in the house! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' The doctors are too busy watching his library, it seems.
</blockquote>
Yo, I've had pie in all it's hundred flavors 
Lost most my teeth cause I don't wear braces 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm sorry?
</blockquote>
I order all sandwiches with/without mayonnaise 
I suck at Pinball and any cereal maze 
All of my sweets are gonna make me go real crazed 
My mouth is movin' so fast, I think I'll talk for days 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That has everything to do with fatness and laziness.
</blockquote>
There's no race that I have run 
At last hour, well, I'm number none 
Eat mints and cough drops just for fun 
I ain't got a lock but a ball of dung 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, God! That's disgusting! 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Somebody needs to quarantine this fool.
</blockquote>
I know every single theme song 
No matter how flip short or how flop long 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Beep putting random words in my bop sentences.
</blockquote>
I'll chomp any kind of food that you bring on 
I'd beat up Godzilla and King Kong 
<blockquote>
'''GODZILLA:''' Is that a challenge? 
'''KING KONG:''' I can't wait to rip this mofo to shreds.
</blockquote>
Here's the part I sing on 
 
They see me roll on the subway 
I know in my heart they think I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
Although it's apparent I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
How'd I get so fat n' lazy? 
 
I've been snoozing, ingestin' 
All those comics you know I collect 'em 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He didn't even bother to change that line.
</blockquote>
The bags full of chocolate 
I must protect 'em 
My big kitchen table never leaves me bored 
Shopping online for deals on some sunflower seeds 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Because nothing satisfies a man with insatiable hunger more than sunflower seeds!
</blockquote>
I look for all my cheesy needs 
I sleep for 12 hours a day 
I'd rather lose my tongue than go outside and play. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I don't think anybody would be sad if you lost your tongue.
</blockquote>
I got a business doing taste tests 
When my friends need some food who do they call? 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Not you, because you're a fat, greedy bastard!
</blockquote>
I won't give a bite to any or all 
Not even my stupid, whiny dog! 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yeah, screw dogs for wanting to eat!
</blockquote>
Yo! Got myself a calorie pack 
They were having a sale down at Wal-Mart 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Buy your empty calories! Buy your empty calories today!
</blockquote>
Spend my nights with some candy hearts 
MUNCH MUNCH! Hope no one sees me gettin' sneaky! 
 
I'm lazy in the extreme and fatter than TV dads seem 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It seems today that all you see...
</blockquote>
I'm not in any school clubs or even the football team! 
The first question that was easy for me 
Was do I like Kool-Aid or do I like Black tea? 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hello there to you too, hidden text.
</blockquote>
I spend my every weekend 
At all-you-can-eat 
I own a wagon for all my meat 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' A wagon for all your meat. That...that's something. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I don't know whether to laugh or vomit right now.
</blockquote>
 
They see me strollin' 
They laughin' 
And rollin' their eyes 'cause 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
All because I'm fat n' lazy 
Holy cow I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna sew with 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Sew with? What? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yeah, it's obvious he's out of ideas at this point.
</blockquote>
The hot chicks 
But oh well it's obvious I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy!

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That was about five stanzas longer than it needed to be. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Yeah, we're two songs in, and I'm already wiped out.
</blockquote>

=== Well ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJPcD6QWe4 "Lump" by Presidents of the United States].

==== Lyrics ====

Well's from the Pokemopolis forums 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Thank you for the history lesson.
</blockquote>
His name is Awesome, and possibly the one 
He is really strange, like aluminum sea boats 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' And these lyrics.
</blockquote>
He knew he'd never be like any other emotes 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's just a head 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he on meds? 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' No, but you really should be.
</blockquote>
 
Well was a small celebrity 
He soon came to be a crappy internet meme 
He's something awful, that's for sure 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' He's doing the best he can, man!
</blockquote>
The mass madness he causes will never have a cure 
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's kinda round 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' As opposed to you, who's kind of a square.
</blockquote>
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
What have we found? 
 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... smile... smile in your face now 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... look! 
 
Well's alter egos circulated in tens 
He spends most of the day looking for real friends 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Is this song just an excuse for you to be a douchebag for no reason?
</blockquote>
He never lies or cheats, but he steals 
Each time you click him he gets 20 meals 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' HOW DARE WE FEED HIM!
</blockquote>
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's really bright 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he all right? 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' No he isn't, because you bwoke his heawt.
</blockquote>
 
Is this Well a hint of red? 
I think so 
Will this Well never be wed? 
I think so 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So what? The bachelor lifestyle is the best, anyway.
</blockquote>
Did this Well gain lots of cred? 
I think so 
And that's all I'm gonna say about that
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/ikariam/images/0/0a/Emote-Awesome.gif
</blockquote>

=== Worst Night Ever ===
Set to the same tune as [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF1L48CsVZ0 "Best Day Ever" by SpongeBob SquarePants].

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yes, the actual SpongeBob sang that. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Ah, to be innocent and stupid.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

Mr. Moon came out and he laughed at me. Said it's gonna suck tonight, just wait and see! 
Crawled out of bed and I tried to hide, feeling so extra dang horrified! 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Golly gosh dang it!
</blockquote>
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
I'm so sleepy, but heard something new. Spent the last five hours here, I need to poo. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm out.
</blockquote>
Every hour, every stupid Dan,
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Who's Dan?
</blockquote>
attempts to pull me out by hand. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
This time scary big things start coming in on me, I'm here upside down, I'm gonna lose my frown, then they throw me out the window without a sound. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well, this got dark fast.
</blockquote>
Those stars above me just disappear, it's crazy what's happening, and now I can't hear... 
Soon Mrs. Sun will be shining gay so the worst night ever will last all day. 
No, the worst night ever's gonna last all day now. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
(worst night ever)

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' That was mercifully short. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yeah, but look what's coming. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, God.
</blockquote>

=== Always Gonna Give You Up ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley].

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' WHYYY
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

We're no strangers to hate
 You screwed the rules just cause you had money
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, is this song about me?
</blockquote>
 I think it's now time to retaliate
 You'll wish that you never messed with Rick, honey
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Mmm-hmm! You go, girl!
</blockquote>
 
 And if you ask me what I'm doing
 When will you just understand?
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie to hurt you
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Talk about lazy writing.
</blockquote>
 
 We've know each other for too long
 Your fart's been leaking
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' WHYYY 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Now you know how I feel.
</blockquote>
 But you're too shy to say it
 Inside we both know what's been going on
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' We did not need to know what was "going on" inside her.
</blockquote>
 We've done the game so don't try to play it
 
 And if you ask me what I'm doing
 When will you just understand?
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Yes, we get it! You're an asshole! Can you end this now?
</blockquote>
 
 Always gonna give you up
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'll take that as a "no".
</blockquote>
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 (give you up), (give you up)
 Always gonna give, always gonna give (give you up)
 Always gonna give, always gonna give
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Shu-ut up.
</blockquote>
(give you up)
 
 We've know each other for too long
 Your fart's been leaking
 But you're too shy to say it
 Inside we both know what's been going on
 We've done the game so don't try to play it
 
 I just wanna tell you what I'm doing
 Gotta make you understand
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Is it finally over?
</blockquote>
 
 Always gonna give you up
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' AUGH
</blockquote>
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you

=== Sinny Lane ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Penny Lane" by The Beatles].

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Is "sinny" even a word? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' According to Urban Dictionary, "sinny" is a verb that means to put out a joint. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So this Sinny Lane must be in Colorado.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

In Sinny Lane there's an assassin showing all his plaques 
With every head he's had the pleasure to have sliced, 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' It's an underappreciated art form.
</blockquote>
And the people that have paid the price, 
Hops over us twice. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' But they're...dead. What the fuck?
</blockquote>
 
On the corner is a salesman with a purse-suitcase, 
The little children laugh at him behind his back. 
And the salesman steals all of their Macs 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' NOT THE MAAACS
</blockquote>
In the pouring rain, they all hang. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The children or the Macs? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Please be the Macs. Please be the Macs. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Someone's not an Apple fanboy.
</blockquote>
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
I sit, and meanwhile back 
In Sinny Lane there is a minister with an hourglass 
And in his pocket is a portrait of the scene. 
He likes to keep his big figure mean. 
He's a mean machine. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' A mean green bean-eating machine! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hey, I can write word salads, too!
</blockquote>
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
I lost my fish and finger pies 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' NOT THE FISH AND FINGER PIIIES
</blockquote>
In summer, meanwhile back 
Behind the shelter in the middle of the roundabout 
An evil nurse is selling puppies from a tray 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And they were delicious!
</blockquote>
And she made sure that all the owners lay 
She is really gray. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Her too? She and I should get together some time!
</blockquote>
 
In Sinny Lane the assassin mounts up another head, 
And the salesman rubs his neck as he walks by. 
And then the minister sanctifies. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why is there a minister in a place call "Sinny Lane", anyway? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hey, ministers gotta get high sometimes, too. Takes the edge off.
</blockquote>
In the pouring rain, we all sang: 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies >
I sit, and meanwhile back. 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
Sinny Lane.

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' That actually wasn't too bad. At least it wasn't Always-Gonna-Give-You-Up bad. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And best of all, it was short.
</blockquote>

=== Stop Before You Get Too Much ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

Hateful is the feelin' now 
Fevers, temperatures goin' down 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Don't temperatures usually go ''up'' with fevers?
</blockquote>
Power (ah power) is the force, the pow 
That makes it happen, please ask no questions why (oh) 
So get farther (farther now) from my body now 
Just hate me 'til you don't know how (oh) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Don't worry. I'll always know how to hate you.
</blockquote>
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' No.
</blockquote>
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Touch me and I'll be on fire 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I see that you're dating Flame Princess.
</blockquote>
Ain't nothin' like a hate desire (oh) 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Is that even a real thing, or are you just putting random words together again?
</blockquote>
I'm freezing (I'm freezing) like Antarctica 
A nation (oh a nation) stupid where we're at (oh) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Surprisingly insightful political commentary there.
</blockquote>
 
So let hate take us through the months 
I won't be complanin' 'cause this is tasty lunch (oh) 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' This is why you shouldn't eat and write parodies at the same time, kids.
</blockquote>
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
(Oh) 
 
Heartbreak does not describe Hell 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm pretty sure that Heartbreak is the tenth circle of Dante's Inferno.
</blockquote>
Eternal (ah eternal) hate shines in my health (oh) 
So let hate take us through the months 
I won't be complanin' (no no) 
'Cause your hate is ok, ok 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Just okay hate? I wanted great hate!
</blockquote>
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Hateful is the feeling now 
I won't be complanin' (oh oh) 
The force is crazy love 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 

=== Whiny Crappy People ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.].

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Whiny Crappy People a.k.a JCM's theme song.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

Whiny crappy people crying 
See you in Moscow 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Stay out of Moscow! We don't want Putin to wage war on us!
</blockquote>
People, people 
Hope that y'all get wound-ed 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Really? It already was a crappy rhyme. That add-on just made it crappier.
</blockquote>
Hate you, hate you 
Please get out of town 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Just not to Moscow!
</blockquote>
Crappy, crappy 
Head into the ground 
Where the tree roots grow 
Sucking up to time 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' But Time hands out the best treats!
</blockquote>
 
Whiny crappy people from the land 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Everyone around hates them, hates them 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' But not as much as they hate you.
</blockquote>
Take them off our hands 
Take them, take them 
There's no time to cry 
Crappy, crappy 
Do it from your heart 
Or they will be mine 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' But I thought you didn't want them.
</blockquote>
And I won't be kind 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Hey, here you go 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Don't want it.
</blockquote>
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying

=== You're My Rival ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTvxq8IfRMs "You're my Best Friend" by Tim McGraw].

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The Homestar Runner Has Something Stuck in His McGraw.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

I've always had someone...that I could count on. 
Never been left down in my life. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' You've have a pretty awesome life. Can I buy it from you?
</blockquote>
I have never been hurtin'...never needed searchin'. 
'Til you crawled into my life. 
It was a feelin'...I'd never known. 
And for the first time...I had to pick a bone. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You're a h8er.
</blockquote>
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' The comedy is coming like bullets!
</blockquote>
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' "Oh no," he said as he learned that there were four more stanzas left.
</blockquote>
 
You're against me...and you never hear me. 
Like nobody ever did. 
When my world goes crazy... 
You're there to laugh at me. 
You make me see how much I want. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Want what? A cure to your masochistic tendencies? I'll give it to you for $100.
</blockquote>
And I still tremble...when you cough. 
And...ugh the look in your eyes when I eat lunch. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' What's with this guy and lunch?
</blockquote>
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just losers. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
 
You're my rival (my rival) 
You're my rival (my rival)

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' That was really stupid (really stupid)
</blockquote>

=== What a Horrible World ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk9ItaDWxgk "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong].

==== Lyrics ====

I see weeds of green, pink roses, too 
And then they grow to annoy you 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Just like the writer!
</blockquote>
And I think to myself what a horrible world. 
 
I see skies of black and clouds of gray 
The dark cursed day, the dark cursed day 
And I think to myself
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' "What an emo"
</blockquote>
what a horrible world. 
 
The tapping of all the rain so crazy on the roof 
Are also on the faces of people going by 
I see ladies slapping men asking what can they do 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And the men show them several times over as they screw.
</blockquote>
Inside they're saying I hate you. 
 
I hear babies crying, I watch them grow 
They'll cry much more than I'll ever know 
And I think to myself what a horrible world 
Yes I think to myself what a horrible world.

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Now that that's brightened up my day...
</blockquote>

=== I'm So Exhausted ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6A6pMO_WKM "I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters].

==== Lyrics ====

Tonight's the night I'm gonna have it happen 
Tonight I'll put all other things aside 
Get out this time and just do all the washin 
I'm going for the bed pleasures this night 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Ooh, bed pleasures! I'm listening.
</blockquote>
I want to sleep, you fool, you 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh yeah, sleep. That's totally what I was thinking.
</blockquote>
Gonna have some dreams, you 
I want to snooze, you. Screw you 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Well, screw you too, lady.
</blockquote>
I want to get enough 
And time won't go so slow 
To bed I'll go! 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Like pretentious Harvard kids I'll speak!
</blockquote>
 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it 
I'm going to lose control and you'll know I lost it 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it 
And I know, I know, I know, I know 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?
</blockquote>
I know I want to 
 
I will have to think about tomorrow 
The memories will last for not so long 
I'll have a good time, baby 
Don't you worry 
And if I'm still snorin around boy 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' How does one "snore around"? It sounds like something you would do in a Dr. Seuss book.
</blockquote>
That's just fine 
I get exhausted, ooh 
You just can't watch it, no, no, no 
I'm going to lose control and you'll know I lost it 
 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it, no, no 
I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to, I want to 
 
Oh boy, I'm gonna hate you 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' For what? Watching that unspecified "it"?
</blockquote>
Fooled you. Gonna have some dreams, you 
I want to snooze, you. Screw you 
No, I want to get enough 
And time won't go so slow 
To bed I'll go! 
 
I'm so exhausted, oooh-weee 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Kill meee.
</blockquote>
You just can't watch it 
Oooh, I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, oh, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
And you just can't watch it, no, no, no, no, no 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Alright, I won't watch it! Just quit it with the repetition!
</blockquote>
I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to 
Want to 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
</blockquote>
 
Look what you did to me 
I'm right here sweating up 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, so this ''is'' about sex?
</blockquote>
Oh 
Why don't you work for me 
You've got to give it up 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' My virginity?
</blockquote>
Oh 
Baby, I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I already said I wouldn't watch it!
</blockquote>
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Sorry, I already have one job I hate. I'm not taking up another.
</blockquote>
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.
 
I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.
 
I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What is it she wanted to do again? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hell if I know.
</blockquote>

=== Twitter ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glxyn-AxXl8 "Thriller" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

You've tweeted all night and then followed a bunch of question marks 
It is a website that you have been on every day since March 
You have to scream when you get to the hundred forty limit 
And every scene of your life has gone down unrestricted 
You're addicted 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
And no one's gonna save you from the thing we all dislike 
You know it's Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
You have a MySpace, a Facebook, don't forget your LinkedIn 
You are a nutcase in the eyes of your family and friends 
You will get fired if you don't get your face out of your cell phone 
And you will cry and end up tweeting it on the way home 
Future unknown 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You're caught into a trance and it is one you cannot fight, no 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
When you are eating, you detail every aspect of your meal 
When you watch TV, not one spoiler will be concealed 
(It's all revealed) 
This obsession is surreal 
 
You see a whale fail; you F5 quicker than a speeding car 
On a Twitter scale, your amount of usage is just bizarre 
Now is the time for you to get a lot of therapy, now 
Although the trial won't get you close enough to being free 
You have to see 
 
That this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a 
Fitter Twitter, whatever here tonight 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a fitter Twitter, ow!

=== Average Day ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiZMzi-Hw8U "Toes" by Zac Brown Band].

==== Lyrics ====

My cup of joe's on the table, paper in hand 
Though I'm not really reading, don't it make me look grand? 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
Well, I had to leave for work at 8 o'clock 
Made sure to kiss my wife goodbye 
So she wouldn't suspect that I left her 
For someone better on the eyes 
My office job's so boring I could sob like the spoiled brat I am 
Though I'm not a recaller 
I could have been a lawyer 
If I had an attention span 
 
My computer's on the table, mouse in my hand 
The boss logs everything, so I'm under his command 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I say "welcome from Spain" 
But the Spanish-fluent workers and all the random lurkers 
Give me a real dirty face 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
When I get out of here 
Gonna take myself a nap and forget all the crap 
That ever happened this year 
 
The hours flew by like a drunk bald eagle, meaning that it was pretty fast 
I'm at the door, as my time is no more 
At the car, I step on the gas 
But it doesn't start because it's not on 
"Not again," I say with the key 
And the cars next to me laugh before taking off and now I've put it in, I guarantee 
 
Cellular phone's in my shoulder, wheel in my hand 
In a few more miles I will be in the promised land 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
Says the car behind me 
I think it was important since the man flipped me off when I said I was busy 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
He sounds really annoyed 
I probably should speed her and take the call later 
The road's so hard to enjoy 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
Thank God that I'm back home 
Oh no, the children are back from school with my wife, how cruel 
Now the whole family's here 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I sure can't wait for work 
 
I'm just gonna drink my cup of joe 
And put my head in the paper 
Wait for my wife 
And think about what I did to deserve this looping life 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 

=== D.M.C.A. ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_spj5LJ08y8 "Y.M.C.A." by Village People].

==== Lyrics ====

Young man, why the frown on your face? 
I said, young man, looking like a disgrace 
I said, young man, you are in a new place 
So don't be so rotten sappy 
 
Young man, the internet's for all 
I said, young man, when you can't afford Brawl 
Just download it, and keep downloading more 
'Till your eyes fall on the floor 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
Young man, you'll find this stuff online 
I said, young man, and you won't (probably) pay a fine 
I said, young man, what are you waiting for? 
You've got a big land to explore 
 
You can come right out that shell 
I said, young man, don't contemplate your cell 
If you breach it, yeah the D.M.C.A. 
You'll be dumbfound by the array 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
I once was a sissy like you 
I said, I once feared the law like its Jew 
I thought nothing could to be worth it to break 
That it would all be a mistake 
 
Someone finally understood 
And said, young man, come back down to the 'hood 
There's a law here called the D.M.C.A. 
It will show you what to "obey" 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, get that frown off your face 
Young man, young man, you are not a disgrace 
 
D.M.C.A. 
Violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, a sissy don't be you 
Young man, young man, you are not the law's Jew 
D.M.C.A.

=== Rabies ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uim4GwSfzxY "Baby" by Justin Bieber].

==== Lyrics ====

A hog just bit me 
It really hurts 
I'm going to have 
To stay alert 
It could be small 
It could be big 
And I could really maybe turn into a pig 
 
You say that's silly 
That I am just fine 
How do you know 
I won't be a swine? 
Please face the facts 
You cannot avoid it 
Before you know I'll be eating my own...yeah 
 
I tell you, it's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
You tell me 
That it isn't so, up straight 
Don't have to go on eHamony for a sow-mate 
Don't treat me like I'm well 
I'll write the note myself 
It's worth a week of school 
Or forty weeks of school 
 
And I'm going mad 
Rabies does that 
Don't be surprised if my pink eyes begin to scat 
I'm gonna squeal, squeal 
Squeal 
Squeal 
It's coming soon, I promise, this I can really feel 
 
It's the 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Yeah 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Got 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
BLACK DUDE 
When I was like three, I had my first cold 
There was no disease that ever made me sneeze 
Or make anything I'm saying understandable 
It had me goin' crazy 
Oh, I was effed up 
It woke me up daily 
What's two girls one cup? 
Oh right, this rap thing 
I drank orange juice and that disgusting red goop and 
There wasn't any drink 
That could stop the flow of my nose's poopin' 
I had an immune system, 
That did the work of six men, 
But I haven't been cured yet 
So it's like rabies I guess... 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Like 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
He said 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Dang 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
Them 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Away, away, away 
You're gone

== Originals ==

=== Rap ===
Copyright [[JCM Productions]].

==== Lyrics ====

What's up, everyone? I got a story to tell. 
About a whiny little brat lurking on his Dell. 
He said that people like me were doing wrong. 
And he expressed his thoughts on this somehow decent song. 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
With Retards Attempting Poetry. 
And please don't call me stupid for having an opinion. 
I will continue to say it until my days are done. 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
Just Retards Attempting Poetry. 
You say my days are numbered? And sleep with one eye open? 
You won't scare me. You don't scare me. So, listen to me, friend! 
 
Oh yeah! 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
Those Retards Attempting Poetry. 
Think that I don't know that it's just a lack of common sense. 
So remember that one person can make a difference. 
 
So remember the moral of this story. 
Other people can make up these songs for me 
I know it's hypocrisy but 
I do not give a flying

=== Censorship ===
Copyright [[JCM Productions]].

==== Lyrics ====

I was watching a premium channel 
Like Starz, Showtime, and HBO 
When someone said a word that put me in a permanent shock 
 
I was forced to undergo extensive therapy 
And I had to set fire to my flat screen TV 
The same can happen to your children without parental locks 
 
So come on down and get our censorship 
In the USA, it's what they call "hip" 
A family safe environment will finally be in your grip 
 
If you want more, get our extended pack 
Internet, music, and books will get the whack 
If you don't believe us, look at our 12,700 plaques 
 
Any kind of violence has no place with us 
We'll make sure to filter cusses and swears like "shut up" 
Inappropriate behavior will disintegrate to dust 
 
So come on down and get our censorship 
And minors won't get past our walls without a permit 
Just give us a call for minds never being ripped 
(Apart like our hate mail)

{{JCM Productions}}

User talk:Conchris

2014-12-19T02:54:46Z

JCM:

''This is the discussion page for the User that is [[User:Conchris|Conchris]].''

*Archives:
**None! Isn't that great?!

Please, if you're going to talk about a different subject, please press the little + sign beside edit or [http://www.clamburger.org/wuw/index.php?title=User_talk:Conchris&action=edit&section=new click here.]
----

== THAT SERIOUSLY YOU?! ==

Conchris! You're like a freaking legend! Hi! I'm Ryan Bluefox, but I've been on the HRFWiki as Cyrus. Anydangway, they're purging the entire Fanstuff Wiki. Sucks, right? {{User:Lucas Aura/sig}} 19:38, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
:Hey, Conchris! It's Super Sonic X! Remember me? - X On Fire 19:42, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
::Hey Concris, You don't know me so much, It's Cow Puncher, I moved to the WUW until the Chaos is over. [[User:Vince Gagoman|Vince Gagoman]] 19:57, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
:::Oh wow, I didn't know I'm a "freaking legend" but thanks. Yeah, it sucks that they're purging. I'm going to save 30 emails from each season every day before the purge, that means 4 whole days are wasted on backing up the emails, well, the core of it anyway. When I'm done with that, I'll probably let my other HRFWiki Fanstuff burn to the ground to take a fresh start. And yes, I remember you guys. I've been lurking but not editing. -[[User:Conchris|Conchris]] 20:07, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

== Archiving ==

Need any help archiving Con_Email.exe? {{User:Strong Sader/Sig}} 13:03, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
:Yes, if you have time. Archiving 120 emails is pretty hard for one person to do. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 14:16, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
::Thanks for letting me help, I've always loved your emails. {{User:Strong Sader/Sig}} 15:30, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
:::Yeah, it had been fun writing 120 emails on the HRFWiki. Now I have a few small things to add and the archive is finished. Thanks again for helping! -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 15:31, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
::::Will the DVD commentaries be archived as well, or are you going to leave them? {{User:Strong Sader/Sig}} 15:46, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
:::::Most of them are probably already in the archives because they were finished. But I'm leaving the rest to die in the purge sadly enough. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 15:49, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

== Inactivity ==

Your status in [[Wikihood III]] has decended into inactivity. Should you wish to quit Wikihood you are free to do so at any point, although should you wish to make the most of your membership it is recommended that you contribute if possible or take an official leave of absence. Please state you desired course of action below. </formal> {{User:Strong Sader/Sig}} 12:28, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
:I will attempt to contribute to Wikihood III again, as long as somebody can be so kind as to give me a quick summary as to what happened after Episode 2 right up to the current episode. Thanks. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 12:33, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

== 'sup 'chris ==

[[Ultra-late Decemberween Gift Exchange]] 
mind taking a min to read this and consider joining? -{{User:20eric06/sig}} 23:03, 8 December 2008 (UTC)
:WAH! The notification scared me! Sure, I'll check it out. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 23:07, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

i see you're messing around with inform 7

I know, I know, it's way more advanced than my stuff, but I ask you to check out ''my'' text adventure engine, VisTAI, go here: [[Electrokinesis Studios]] -{{User:20eric06/sig}} 13:18, 15 December 2008 (UTC)
:Checked it out. It's actually not that bad. It's like a beginner's program for making text adventures with. Maybe I'll consider using it when making text adventures if Inform 7 decides to make me dive headlong into a wall after it has decided to refuse that one simple line when testing the source. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 11:13, 16 December 2008 (UTC)

== Invitation! ==

You're invited for trick-or-treating next Halloween! Better get your costume ready!
:He's got ten months to kill then. {{User:Strong Intelligent/sig}}
:Strong Rad, I'm afraid that I'll have to '''decline''' your invitation. It's not that I'm a jerk or anything but 1) Like SI said, it's 10 months away, if it were closer there is a better chance of accepting it and 2) I don't feel like contributing to a collab that I feel forced into. Here's hoping you understand - {{User:Conchris/sig}} 17:21, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

== joke is old mang ==

true story. -{{User:20eric06/sig}} 22:48, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
:yeah i know now, thanks. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 22:52, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
You haven't been here for a few months. {{User:JCM/sig}} 20:03, 20 October 2009 (UTC)
:Indeed. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 22:01, 20 October 2009 (UTC)
what even WAS the joke? i can't even remember posting here -{{User:20eric06/sig}} 14:37, 21 October 2009 (UTC)
:I think it was "You know the germans always make good stuff" 'joke', but even then, my memory is kind of fuzzy. -{{User:Conchris/sig}} 16:06, 21 October 2009 (UTC)
::doesn't ring me a bell -{{User:20eric06/sig}} 16:10, 21 October 2009 (UTC)
:::I did some searching about and I found this summary in my contributions, perhaps that was it? [[Special:Contributions/Conchris|"22:22, 2 February 2009 (hist) (diff) Conshow/58 ‎ (You know the <s>Germans</s> Demons always make <s>good</s> bad stuff. </inb4jokeisoldmang>)"]] - {{User:Conchris/sig}} 16:15, 21 October 2009 (UTC)
::::hm. well either way would you mind joining the [[Not-so-late Decemberween Gift Exchange]]? -{{User:20eric06/sig}} 16:23, 21 October 2009 (UTC)

== Question ==

Would you be okay with me riffing Con_email.wue? {{User:JCM/sig}} 21:00, 17 December 2014 (EST)
: That old piece of crap? Sure, riff the hell out of it! Hell, I would join you if given the chance. {{User:Conchris/sig}} 04:55, 18 December 2014 (EST)
:: Oh, cool! Since there are 132 emails, I'm starting from season 3, and even then, it'll be the largest thing I've ever riffed, so any help would be welcome. {{User:JCM/sig}} 21:54, 18 December 2014 (EST)

Template:ProfanityIronic

2014-12-19T02:49:43Z

JCM: gone with you

<table align="center" class="protected" style="background: pink; border: 1px dotted white; padding: .2em; margin-bottom: 3px; width:70%; color: white;">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" style="padding-right: 4px; padding-left: 4px;"><center>http://www.tropicalflowerguide.com/images/smallpic/mandevilla.jpg</center></td>
<td><center>'''{{FULLPAGENAME}} may contain singing animals or other themes of a rated G nature.'''</center></td>
</tr>
</table>

<noinclude>
'''Usage:''' <nowiki>{{ProfanityIronic|words=the f- word and the b- word}}</nowiki> (example) 
Pages with this template are placed into the [[:Category:Pages with Swearing|Pages with Swearing]] category. 
</noinclude>

<includeonly>[[Category:Pages with Swearing|{{BASEPAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

Template:Profanity

2014-12-19T02:47:40Z

JCM: Actually, I'll probably just remove that entirely for now

<table align="center" class="protected" style="background: black; border: 1px dotted white; padding: .2em; margin-bottom: 3px; width:70%; color: white;">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" style="padding-right: 4px; padding-left: 4px;"><center>$^$#@%@!!</center></td>
<td><center>'''{{FULLPAGENAME}} may contain swearing or other themes of an adult nature.'''</center></td>
</tr>
</table>

<noinclude>
'''Usage:''' <nowiki>{{Profanity|words=the f- word and the b- word}}</nowiki> (example) 
Pages with this template are placed into the [[:Category:Pages with Swearing|Pages with Swearing]] category. If you're looking for the pink box, use <nowiki>{{ProfanityIronic}}.</nowiki> '''And don't even think of putting swears in the template itself.'''</noinclude>

<includeonly>[[Category:Pages with Swearing|{{BASEPAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

RiffText

2014-12-18T05:07:29Z

JCM: /* Sign up to be a guest riffer */ raiku being a dumbbutt

{{ProfanityIronic|words=whatever the kids want to say, honey}}
== <center>History</center> ==

Once upon a time, there was [[Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000|a text fiction]]. It became really popular quick, and ended quicker. One of its main riffers became inactive, and then there was a purge that kept the remaining riffer from finding more fanstuff to heckle. So, it was bad off. But one day, a man the same age as the remaining riffer came and asked to help. Of course, he was declined mostly because the remaining actor never liked him or his ideas. But, the man never gave up. He wanted to make a spinoff and called the famous Lightning Guy to help him with it. Of course, he refused, too. Now, the man's name was JCM and he was a bumbling idiot. But then, Lightning Guy thought of the offer, and he knew that JCM wasn't able to do something like that. Seeing the potential for money however, Lightning Guy went to create the thing on his own and called it
<center><big><big><big>'''RIFFTEXT'''</big></big></big></center>

RiffText enjoyed a good few months of success, even establishing the career of a user and leading to that user's acquirement by Mystery Fanstuff Theater itself. But like all good things, it had to come to an end. About a year later, the HRFWiki restarted, and the MFT3K crew used it as an opportunity to start the show up again. Unfortunately, the administrators frowned upon its lack of Homsar-related content and had it delhammered. Determined, the creators set it back up here as the HRFWiki tragically shut down. Now that things are running well again, Lightning Guy has decided to return, milk the continuation for all its worth and hastily bring back the brief phenomenon as
<center><big><big><big>'''RIFFTEXT: THE SECOND UPRISING'''</big></big></big> 
We have nothing to apologize for, you big baby.</center>

== <center>Sign up to be a guest riffer</center> ==

== <center>RiffText On Demand</center> ==
<center>
[[/Adventures of Yobnaf|Adventures of Yobnaf]] 
[[/Currently Untitled|Currently Untitled]] (with Sykuino) 
[[/Dangerous Quest|Dangerous Quest]] (with Lemon) 
[[/The Death of Bell|The Death of Bell]] (with Skully B. and Ninjaduck) 
[[/KickCheat E-mails|KickCheat E-mails]] 
[[/Everything You Know Is Wrong|Everything You Know Is Wrong]] 
[[/Wiki User Email Im a bell|WUE Im a bell]]/[[/Bling Emails|Bling Emails]] Craptacular! 
[[/Kirbychu emails.pie|Kirbychu emails.pie]] 
[[/Holy Crap! Youtube!|Holy Crap! Youtube!]] 
[[/SSXMails|SSXMails]] 
[[/User:Chaosvii7/Battels|User:Chaosvii7/Battels]] 
[[/Green Grass and High Tides Forever!|Green Grass and High Tides Forever!]] 
[[/User:JCM/songs|User:JCM/songs]]
</center>

== <center>iRiffs</center> ==

Now you can control the riffs, suckers! To add an iRiff, put it below the line. You can also choose to do it with a partner.
----
__NOTOC__
=== Example ===
*[[hrfwiki:User:JCM/riff|Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000: Zarel Emails]]
===Ryan===
*[[/The metal detector!|The metal detector!]] - With Ryan. Just Ryan.
===Raiku===
*[[/The amazing strong intelligent does stuff show!|The amazing strong intelligent does stuff show!]] - Raiku
*[[/Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000|MFT3K]] - Archetype
=== Melon ===

*[[/The Aura Chronicles|The Aura Chronicles]] - Only Melon (seriously don't read this one it's crap)
*[[/The Tale of Titin]] - only melon again
*[[/The Adventures of Domo and T Pedo]] - Only Melon.
*[[/Every Single Thing I Made]] - DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT

=== Chwoka ===

*[[/RiffText|RiffText]] - Chwoka, SkullB, Bluebry, NachoMan, Noid, TheCheese

=== Eric ===
*[[/DB:R|Death of Bell: Redux]] - Eric

=== Bellstrom ===
*[[/LongestPage|Jay Cee Em Writes the Longest Page on the WUW]] - Bellstrom

=== Lex ===
*[[/Demon_Hunters|Demon Hunters]] - Lex
*[[/KPSRTV|KPSRTV]] - Lex
*[[/HomestarEmbarassed|Homestar Embarassed]] - Lex

===Remolay===

*[[/Wiki_User_Email_Zoo977|Wiki User Email Zoo977]] - Remolay's Characters (Remolay and Remadin)
*[[/Remolays crap|Everything I've done pre RemoayRemadin project minus Bubs Blog]] Remolay(Character) and Remadin

===Chaosvii7===
*[[/belt|Dinoshaur versus the belt buckle]] - Chaosvii7

===Noxigar===
*[[/3wordstory|A three word story]] - Namine
*[[/NukeNoid|NUCLEAR NOID AND THE ARMAGEDDON TEAM]] - Noxigar
*[[/MFT3K|Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000]] - Noxigar
*[[/ChoomWikihood|Choom Wikihood]] - Noxigar
*[[/Oddish|Oddish Emails]] - Noxigar
*[[/B&D|Brooks & Dylan: Adventures in the City]] - Noxigar
*[[/GAME1|GAME 1]] - Noxigar (INCOMPLETE - GAME 1 IS BORING AS FUCK)
*[[/JCM-MOVIES|JCMovies]] - Namine, with Noxigar sometimes around
*[[/TheBluebryShow|The Bluebry Show]] - Noxigar
*[[/88GiftIdeas|88 Gift Ideas]] - Noxigar
*[[/AruseusEmails|Aruseus Emails]] - Namine
*[[/Robuttnik|Robuttnik's Mean Bean Machine]] - Namine
*[[/Wikihoodremake|Wikihood Redux: The Remake]] - Noxigar
*[[/WUWEdition|WUW Edition!]] - Noxigar
*[[/TheWorld'sGreatest|The World's Greatest]] - Noxigar
*[[/SkullyBVersusTheWorld|Skully B. Versus The World]] - Noxigar
*[[/LegendofNachoMan|Legend of Nacho Man: The Magic Time Flute]] - Noxigar
*[[/Wikihood1|Wikihood 1]] - Noxigar

===Micah===
*[[/MetalDetector2|The metal detector! 2: The longest hunt ever]] - Micah

===Sirrus===
*[[/FHWTF|Fuji Hachi:What The Frag]] - Sirrus and Ventin

RiffText/User:JCM/songs

2014-12-18T04:47:54Z

JCM: two for the price of one

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hello, everybody! I'm back! With special guest Mr. Cloud. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Am I getting paid for this? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hahano. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Goodbye. ''{leaves}'' 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He'll be back. Anyway, tonight's victim is a collection of terrible parody lyrics from none other than JCM. He wrote these during a several-month-long Weird Al obsession, one that thankfully ended before he could grace us with any more of these atrocities. 
''{Mr. Cloud returns.}'' 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Did you seriously lock us inside this theater? Where's the keys? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You'll never find them. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' WHERE'S THE KEYS? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Shh! It's starting!
</blockquote>

''It seems today that all you see'' 
''Is postmodern humor of master's degree'' 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So wait, does the humor ''have'' a master's degree? How does that even work? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I refuse to riff this. I refuse to encourage this hostage situation. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, lighten up.
</blockquote>
''But where are those good old fashioned gimmicks'' 
''On which we used to rely?'' 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Used to? Have you ''seen'' the Big Bang Theory? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' HAHAHA THIS RIFF IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A POP CULTURE REFERENCE 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Screw you, you random assemblage of slightly-pressurized water vapor. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hit me where it hurts, why don't you?
</blockquote>
 
''Lucky there's a family guy'' 
''Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make the'' 
''Experts cry'' 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm crying right now. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What a baby.
</blockquote>
''Cause he's a family guy!''

Hey, Lois, remember that time when JCM wrote all those parodies and stuff:
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Those were dark times.
</blockquote>

== Parodies ==

=== Don't Upload That Pic ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZFOQ0hs6E "Don't Download This Song" by Weird Al].
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Parodying a comedy song? How does that...why would you...what? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Thank you for that sophisticated argument. You have certainly convinced me of your ability to form a coherent thought. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why are you riffing my riff? What is this, Riffception? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Ooh, Riffception. I need to sell that idea to Christopher Nolan. I'd make a killing.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge 
To turn and upload useless communism 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yes, comparing an annoying thing that people do with an entire, oft-abused system of government is a great way to get people on your side.
</blockquote>
Like bringing in images for file-sharing sites 
The Wiki User Wiki's already terrorism 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What...what does that even mean? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I think he just thought of some random thing that kind-of rhymed with communism and was like "sure!" despite the fact that it didn't make any sense whatsoever. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I still hate you, you know. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' You'll get over it.
</blockquote>
 
But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad 
And the shame would kill your reputation 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' If the Wiki User Wiki is literally terrorism, I doubt the users there would have much reputation left to kill.
</blockquote>
'Cause it starts out as a file and it becomes a hotlink 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' It's usually the other way around. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And if the file is supposedly useless, why would you want to hotlink it, anyway?
</blockquote>
And cracking into sites from every comp in your nation 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I'm pretty sure that one comp will do if you're cracking into sites, but sure, let's use every computer in the country. That's viable.
</blockquote>
 
So don't upload that pic 
Photobucket's where you should stick 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Are we still talking about images? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' This sounds like it's straight from a 1950s Washington Post editorial.
</blockquote>
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Oh, you don't wanna mess with the whole MGMT 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Typing out words is for poseurs! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, you spelled it with the "u", too! 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That's when you know it's real.
</blockquote>
They'll ban you if you reupload that twice 
It doesn't matter if you're autistic
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What the fuck? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' WHAT THE FUCK?
</blockquote>
or a seven year old child 
They'll eat you like a giant delicious plate full of brown rice 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He was obviously hungry when he wrote this.
</blockquote>
 
So don't upload that pic 
Don't go around here acting like some hick 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' ''{imitating Hank Hill}'' I tell you what, Bobby. I sure love uploading useless files. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' HAHAHA THIS RIFF IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A POP CULTURE REFERENCE 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Okay, I deserved that.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't take away MBs from disk space like it's free 
How else can Super Sam afford to keep this great wiki 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That you just told us was equivalent to terrorism.
</blockquote>
And the HR and HRF 
These things don't grow on trees 
So all I ask is, "Everybody everybody please..." 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Put me out of my misery.
</blockquote>
 
Don't upload that pic (Don't do it, no, no) 
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's sick (You can just ask him) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Do you even know who Lars Ulrich is? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I think I extorted him for money once.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong (It's really wrong) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (Oh please, don't you do it) 
Or you might wind up banhammered really quick (Remember Jimbo) 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Who has nothing to do with this site.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist (Ever) 'cause you know that it's wrong (Don't ever do it) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (No, no, no, no, no, no) 
You'll burn in hell from just a kick (And you'll deserve it) 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What kind of gravity-defying kick would someone have to give you to send you straight to hell? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' People take their pictures seriously.
</blockquote>
Don't be a communist (Don't do it) 'cause you know that it's wrong (You stupid troll) 
Oh, don't upload that pic

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well, that song sucked. Hopefully, this next one will be
</blockquote>

=== Fat N' Lazy ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nf4DhXy9oU "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire].
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Nope.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

'''TEMPTERS:''' YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN GIANT! THAT MEANS EAT UP!

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm not feeling good about this one.
</blockquote>

They see me chowin' 
My garden 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' How would a garden be appetizing to a fat person? Or any person for that matter?
</blockquote>
I know they're all thinking 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy! 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' "Go with". Is that implying something? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Cloud! Get your mind out of the gutter! JCM probably hadn't even heard of sex when he wrote this!
</blockquote>
But so far they all think 
I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Really, really fat n' lazy 
 
Last in my class here at kindergarten 
No skills, I'm a loser at being retarded 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Oh, yes. The obligatory offense towards disabled people. You never fail to disappoint.
</blockquote>
Mr. Bed is my BFF, Daddy Mack 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What what?
</blockquote>
Keep your cold one 
I'll just have some Pepsi Throwback 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Is this product placement? In a written parody? What the?
</blockquote>
My oven is hot enough to marry 
You'll find they are extremely rare-y 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What's rare? Ovens or hot ovens? Either way, your oven fetish gives me the creeps.
</blockquote>
All of my delicious meals are scary 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' What are you eating? Frankenstein falafels? Dracula dumplings?
</blockquote>
Doctors are watching my library 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Ooookay?
</blockquote>
My wiki pages are never touched 
I got people running from my own friends spaces 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Assuming there's enough space around you for friends to inhabit! 'Cause you're fat! Can somebody call a doctor? We've got a third degree burn in the house! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' The doctors are too busy watching his library, it seems.
</blockquote>
Yo, I've had pie in all it's hundred flavors 
Lost most my teeth cause I don't wear braces 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm sorry?
</blockquote>
I order all sandwiches with/without mayonnaise 
I suck at Pinball and any cereal maze 
All of my sweets are gonna make me go real crazed 
My mouth is movin' so fast, I think I'll talk for days 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That has everything to do with fatness and laziness.
</blockquote>
There's no race that I have run 
At last hour, well, I'm number none 
Eat mints and cough drops just for fun 
I ain't got a lock but a ball of dung 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, God! That's disgusting! 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Somebody needs to quarantine this fool.
</blockquote>
I know every single theme song 
No matter how flip short or how flop long 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Beep putting random words in my bop sentences.
</blockquote>
I'll chomp any kind of food that you bring on 
I'd beat up Godzilla and King Kong 
<blockquote>
'''GODZILLA:''' Is that a challenge? 
'''KING KONG:''' I can't wait to rip this mofo to shreds.
</blockquote>
Here's the part I sing on 
 
They see me roll on the subway 
I know in my heart they think I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
Although it's apparent I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
How'd I get so fat n' lazy? 
 
I've been snoozing, ingestin' 
All those comics you know I collect 'em 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' He didn't even bother to change that line.
</blockquote>
The bags full of chocolate 
I must protect 'em 
My big kitchen table never leaves me bored 
Shopping online for deals on some sunflower seeds 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Because nothing satisfies a man with insatiable hunger more than sunflower seeds!
</blockquote>
I look for all my cheesy needs 
I sleep for 12 hours a day 
I'd rather lose my tongue than go outside and play. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' I don't think anybody would be sad if you lost your tongue.
</blockquote>
I got a business doing taste tests 
When my friends need some food who do they call? 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Not you, because you're a fat, greedy bastard!
</blockquote>
I won't give a bite to any or all 
Not even my stupid, whiny dog! 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yeah, screw dogs for wanting to eat!
</blockquote>
Yo! Got myself a calorie pack 
They were having a sale down at Wal-Mart 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Buy your empty calories! Buy your empty calories today!
</blockquote>
Spend my nights with some candy hearts 
MUNCH MUNCH! Hope no one sees me gettin' sneaky! 
 
I'm lazy in the extreme and fatter than TV dads seem 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' It seems today that all you see...
</blockquote>
I'm not in any school clubs or even the football team! 
The first question that was easy for me 
Was do I like Kool-Aid or do I like Black tea? 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hello there to you too, hidden text.
</blockquote>
I spend my every weekend 
At all-you-can-eat 
I own a wagon for all my meat 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' A wagon for all your meat. That...that's something. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I don't know whether to laugh or vomit right now.
</blockquote>
 
They see me strollin' 
They laughin' 
And rollin' their eyes 'cause 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
All because I'm fat n' lazy 
Holy cow I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna sew with 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Sew with? What? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yeah, it's obvious he's out of ideas at this point.
</blockquote>
The hot chicks 
But oh well it's obvious I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy!

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' That was about five stanzas longer than it needed to be. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Yeah, we're two songs in, and I'm already wiped out.
</blockquote>

=== Well ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJPcD6QWe4 "Lump" by Presidents of the United States].

==== Lyrics ====

Well's from the Pokemopolis forums 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Thank you for the history lesson.
</blockquote>
His name is Awesome, and possibly the one 
He is really strange, like aluminum sea boats 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' And these lyrics.
</blockquote>
He knew he'd never be like any other emotes 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's just a head 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he on meds? 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' No, but you really should be.
</blockquote>
 
Well was a small celebrity 
He soon came to be a crappy internet meme 
He's something awful, that's for sure 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' He's doing the best he can, man!
</blockquote>
The mass madness he causes will never have a cure 
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's kinda round 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' As opposed to you, who's kind of a square.
</blockquote>
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
What have we found? 
 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... smile... smile in your face now 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... look! 
 
Well's alter egos circulated in tens 
He spends most of the day looking for real friends 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Is this song just an excuse for you to be a douchebag for no reason?
</blockquote>
He never lies or cheats, but he steals 
Each time you click him he gets 20 meals 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' HOW DARE WE FEED HIM!
</blockquote>
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's really bright 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he all right? 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' No he isn't, because you bwoke his heawt.
</blockquote>
 
Is this Well a hint of red? 
I think so 
Will this Well never be wed? 
I think so 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So what? The bachelor lifestyle is the best, anyway.
</blockquote>
Did this Well gain lots of cred? 
I think so 
And that's all I'm gonna say about that
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/ikariam/images/0/0a/Emote-Awesome.gif
</blockquote>

=== Worst Night Ever ===
Set to the same tune as [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF1L48CsVZ0 "Best Day Ever" by SpongeBob SquarePants].

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yes, the actual SpongeBob sang that. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Ah, to be innocent and stupid.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

Mr. Moon came out and he laughed at me. Said it's gonna suck tonight, just wait and see! 
Crawled out of bed and I tried to hide, feeling so extra dang horrified! 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Golly gosh dang it!
</blockquote>
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
I'm so sleepy, but heard something new. Spent the last five hours here, I need to poo. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'm out.
</blockquote>
Every hour, every stupid Dan,
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Who's Dan?
</blockquote>
attempts to pull me out by hand. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
This time scary big things start coming in on me, I'm here upside down, I'm gonna lose my frown, then they throw me out the window without a sound. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Well, this got dark fast.
</blockquote>
Those stars above me just disappear, it's crazy what's happening, and now I can't hear... 
Soon Mrs. Sun will be shining gay so the worst night ever will last all day. 
No, the worst night ever's gonna last all day now. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
(worst night ever)

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' That was mercifully short. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Yeah, but look what's coming. 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, God.
</blockquote>

=== Always Gonna Give You Up ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley].

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' WHYYY
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

We're no strangers to hate
 You screwed the rules just cause you had money
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Oh, is this song about me?
</blockquote>
 I think it's now time to retaliate
 You'll wish that you never messed with Rick, honey
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Mmm-hmm! You go, girl!
</blockquote>
 
 And if you ask me what I'm doing
 When will you just understand?
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie to hurt you
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Talk about lazy writing.
</blockquote>
 
 We've know each other for too long
 Your fart's been leaking
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' WHYYY 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Now you know how I feel.
</blockquote>
 But you're too shy to say it
 Inside we both know what's been going on
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' We did not need to know what was "going on" inside her.
</blockquote>
 We've done the game so don't try to play it
 
 And if you ask me what I'm doing
 When will you just understand?
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Yes, we get it! You're an asshole! Can you end this now?
</blockquote>
 
 Always gonna give you up
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' I'll take that as a "no".
</blockquote>
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 (give you up), (give you up)
 Always gonna give, always gonna give (give you up)
 Always gonna give, always gonna give
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Shu-ut up.
</blockquote>
(give you up)
 
 We've know each other for too long
 Your fart's been leaking
 But you're too shy to say it
 Inside we both know what's been going on
 We've done the game so don't try to play it
 
 I just wanna tell you what I'm doing
 Gotta make you understand
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 
 Always gonna give you up
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Is it finally over?
</blockquote>
 
 Always gonna give you up
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' AUGH
</blockquote>
 Always gonna let you down
 Always gonna run around and desert you
 Always gonna make you cry
 Always gonna say goodbye
 Always gonna tell a lie and hurt you

=== Sinny Lane ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Penny Lane" by The Beatles].

<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Is "sinny" even a word? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' According to Urban Dictionary, "sinny" is a verb that means to put out a joint. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' So this Sinny Lane must be in Colorado.
</blockquote>

==== Lyrics ====

In Sinny Lane there's an assassin showing all his plaques 
With every head he's had the pleasure to have sliced, 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' It's an underappreciated art form.
</blockquote>
And the people that have paid the price, 
Hops over us twice. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' But they're...dead. What the fuck?
</blockquote>
 
On the corner is a salesman with a purse-suitcase, 
The little children laugh at him behind his back. 
And the salesman steals all of their Macs 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' NOT THE MAAACS
</blockquote>
In the pouring rain, they all hang. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' The children or the Macs? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Please be the Macs. Please be the Macs. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Someone's not an Apple fanboy.
</blockquote>
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
I sit, and meanwhile back 
In Sinny Lane there is a minister with an hourglass 
And in his pocket is a portrait of the scene. 
He likes to keep his big figure mean. 
He's a mean machine. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' A mean green bean-eating machine! 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' What? 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Hey, I can write word salads, too!
</blockquote>
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
I lost my fish and finger pies 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' NOT THE FISH AND FINGER PIIIES
</blockquote>
In summer, meanwhile back 
Behind the shelter in the middle of the roundabout 
An evil nurse is selling puppies from a tray 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And they were delicious!
</blockquote>
And she made sure that all the owners lay 
She is really gray. 
<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Her too? She and I should get together some time!
</blockquote>
 
In Sinny Lane the assassin mounts up another head, 
And the salesman rubs his neck as he walks by. 
And then the minister sanctifies. 
<blockquote>
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' Why is there a minister in a place call "Sinny Lane", anyway? 
'''MR. CLOUD:''' Hey, ministers gotta get high sometimes, too. Takes the edge off.
</blockquote>
In the pouring rain, we all sang: 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies >
I sit, and meanwhile back. 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
Sinny Lane.

<blockquote>
'''MR. CLOUD:''' That actually wasn't too bad. At least it wasn't Always-Gonna-Give-You-Up bad. 
'''LIGHTNING GUY:''' And best of all, it was short.
</blockquote>

=== Stop Before You Get Too Much ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

Hateful is the feelin' now 
Fevers, temperatures goin' down 
Power (ah power) is the force, the pow 
That makes it happen, please ask no questions why (oh) 
So get farther (farther now) from my body now 
Just hate me 'til you don't know how (oh) 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Touch me and I'll be on fire 
Ain't nothin' like a hate desire (oh) 
I'm freezing (I'm freezing) like Antarctica 
A nation (oh a nation) stupid where we're at (oh) 
 
So let hate take us through the months 
I won't be complanin' 'cause this is tasty lunch (oh) 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
(Oh) 
 
Heartbreak does not describe Hell 
Eternal (ah eternal) hate shines in my health (oh) 
So let hate take us through the months 
I won't be complanin' (no no) 
'Cause your hate is ok, ok 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Hateful is the feeling now 
I won't be complanin' (oh oh) 
The force is crazy love 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 
Away from the force now stop 
Stop before you get too much 

=== Whiny Crappy People ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.].

==== Lyrics ====

Whiny crappy people crying 
See you in Moscow 
People, people 
Hope that y'all get wound-ed 
Hate you, hate you 
Please get out of town 
Crappy, crappy 
Head into the ground 
Where the tree roots grow 
Sucking up to time 
 
Whiny crappy people from the land 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Everyone around hates them, hates them 
Take them off our hands 
Take them, take them 
There's no time to cry 
Crappy, crappy 
Do it from your heart 
Or they will be mine 
And I won't be kind 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Hey, here you go 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying

=== You're My Rival ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTvxq8IfRMs "You're my Best Friend" by Tim McGraw].

==== Lyrics ====

I've always had someone...that I could count on. 
Never been left down in my life. 
I have never been hurtin'...never needed searchin'. 
'Til you crawled into my life. 
It was a feelin'...I'd never known. 
And for the first time...I had to pick a bone. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're against me...and you never hear me. 
Like nobody ever did. 
When my world goes crazy... 
You're there to laugh at me. 
You make me see how much I want. 
And I still tremble...when you cough. 
And...ugh the look in your eyes when I eat lunch. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just losers. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
 
You're my rival (my rival) 
You're my rival (my rival)

=== What a Horrible World ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk9ItaDWxgk "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong].

==== Lyrics ====

I see weeds of green, pink roses, too 
And then they grow to annoy you 
And I think to myself what a horrible world. 
 
I see skies of black and clouds of gray 
The dark cursed day, the dark cursed day 
And I think to myself what a horrible world. 
 
The tapping of all the rain so crazy on the roof 
Are also on the faces of people going by 
I see ladies slapping men asking what can they do 
Inside they're saying I hate you. 
 
I hear babies crying, I watch them grow 
They'll cry much more than I'll ever know 
And I think to myself what a horrible world 
Yes I think to myself what a horrible world.

=== I'm So Exhausted ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6A6pMO_WKM "I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters].

==== Lyrics ====

Tonight's the night I'm gonna have it happen 
Tonight I'll put all other things aside 
Get out this time and just do all the washin 
I'm going for the bed pleasures this night 
I want to sleep, you fool, you 
Gonna have some dreams, you 
I want to snooze, you. Screw you 
I want to get enough 
And time won't go so slow 
To bed I'll go! 
 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it 
I'm going to lose control and you'll know I lost it 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it 
And I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to 
 
I will have to think about tomorrow 
The memories will last for not so long 
I'll have a good time, baby 
Don't you worry 
And if I'm still snorin around boy 
That's just fine 
I get exhausted, ooh 
You just can't watch it, no, no, no 
I'm going to lose control and you'll know I lost it 
 
I'm so exhausted and you just can't watch it, no, no 
I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to, I want to 
 
Oh boy, I'm gonna hate you 
Fooled you. Gonna have some dreams, you 
I want to snooze, you. Screw you 
No, I want to get enough 
And time won't go so slow 
To bed I'll go! 
 
I'm so exhausted, oooh-weee 
You just can't watch it 
Oooh, I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, oh, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
And you just can't watch it, no, no, no, no, no 
I know, I know, I know, I know 
I know I want to 
Want to 
 
Look what you did to me 
I'm right here sweating up 
Oh 
Why don't you work for me 
You've got to give it up 
Oh 
Baby, I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.
 
I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.
 
I'm so exhausted 
(What you did to me) 
You just can't watch it 
(I'm right here sweating up) 
I'm going to lose control 
And you'll know I lost it, yeah 
I'm so exhausted 
(Why don't you work for me) 
I can't deny, no, no 
(You've got to give it up)
I know, I know, I know, I know I want to.

=== Twitter ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glxyn-AxXl8 "Thriller" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

You've tweeted all night and then followed a bunch of question marks 
It is a website that you have been on every day since March 
You have to scream when you get to the hundred forty limit 
And every scene of your life has gone down unrestricted 
You're addicted 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
And no one's gonna save you from the thing we all dislike 
You know it's Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
You have a MySpace, a Facebook, don't forget your LinkedIn 
You are a nutcase in the eyes of your family and friends 
You will get fired if you don't get your face out of your cell phone 
And you will cry and end up tweeting it on the way home 
Future unknown 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You're caught into a trance and it is one you cannot fight, no 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
When you are eating, you detail every aspect of your meal 
When you watch TV, not one spoiler will be concealed 
(It's all revealed) 
This obsession is surreal 
 
You see a whale fail; you F5 quicker than a speeding car 
On a Twitter scale, your amount of usage is just bizarre 
Now is the time for you to get a lot of therapy, now 
Although the trial won't get you close enough to being free 
You have to see 
 
That this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a 
Fitter Twitter, whatever here tonight 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a fitter Twitter, ow!

=== Average Day ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiZMzi-Hw8U "Toes" by Zac Brown Band].

==== Lyrics ====

My cup of joe's on the table, paper in hand 
Though I'm not really reading, don't it make me look grand? 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
Well, I had to leave for work at 8 o'clock 
Made sure to kiss my wife goodbye 
So she wouldn't suspect that I left her 
For someone better on the eyes 
My office job's so boring I could sob like the spoiled brat I am 
Though I'm not a recaller 
I could have been a lawyer 
If I had an attention span 
 
My computer's on the table, mouse in my hand 
The boss logs everything, so I'm under his command 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I say "welcome from Spain" 
But the Spanish-fluent workers and all the random lurkers 
Give me a real dirty face 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
When I get out of here 
Gonna take myself a nap and forget all the crap 
That ever happened this year 
 
The hours flew by like a drunk bald eagle, meaning that it was pretty fast 
I'm at the door, as my time is no more 
At the car, I step on the gas 
But it doesn't start because it's not on 
"Not again," I say with the key 
And the cars next to me laugh before taking off and now I've put it in, I guarantee 
 
Cellular phone's in my shoulder, wheel in my hand 
In a few more miles I will be in the promised land 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
Says the car behind me 
I think it was important since the man flipped me off when I said I was busy 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
He sounds really annoyed 
I probably should speed her and take the call later 
The road's so hard to enjoy 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
Thank God that I'm back home 
Oh no, the children are back from school with my wife, how cruel 
Now the whole family's here 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I sure can't wait for work 
 
I'm just gonna drink my cup of joe 
And put my head in the paper 
Wait for my wife 
And think about what I did to deserve this looping life 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 

=== D.M.C.A. ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_spj5LJ08y8 "Y.M.C.A." by Village People].

==== Lyrics ====

Young man, why the frown on your face? 
I said, young man, looking like a disgrace 
I said, young man, you are in a new place 
So don't be so rotten sappy 
 
Young man, the internet's for all 
I said, young man, when you can't afford Brawl 
Just download it, and keep downloading more 
'Till your eyes fall on the floor 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
Young man, you'll find this stuff online 
I said, young man, and you won't (probably) pay a fine 
I said, young man, what are you waiting for? 
You've got a big land to explore 
 
You can come right out that shell 
I said, young man, don't contemplate your cell 
If you breach it, yeah the D.M.C.A. 
You'll be dumbfound by the array 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
I once was a sissy like you 
I said, I once feared the law like its Jew 
I thought nothing could to be worth it to break 
That it would all be a mistake 
 
Someone finally understood 
And said, young man, come back down to the 'hood 
There's a law here called the D.M.C.A. 
It will show you what to "obey" 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, get that frown off your face 
Young man, young man, you are not a disgrace 
 
D.M.C.A. 
Violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, a sissy don't be you 
Young man, young man, you are not the law's Jew 
D.M.C.A.

=== Rabies ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uim4GwSfzxY "Baby" by Justin Bieber].

==== Lyrics ====

A hog just bit me 
It really hurts 
I'm going to have 
To stay alert 
It could be small 
It could be big 
And I could really maybe turn into a pig 
 
You say that's silly 
That I am just fine 
How do you know 
I won't be a swine? 
Please face the facts 
You cannot avoid it 
Before you know I'll be eating my own...yeah 
 
I tell you, it's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
You tell me 
That it isn't so, up straight 
Don't have to go on eHamony for a sow-mate 
Don't treat me like I'm well 
I'll write the note myself 
It's worth a week of school 
Or forty weeks of school 
 
And I'm going mad 
Rabies does that 
Don't be surprised if my pink eyes begin to scat 
I'm gonna squeal, squeal 
Squeal 
Squeal 
It's coming soon, I promise, this I can really feel 
 
It's the 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Yeah 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Got 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
BLACK DUDE 
When I was like three, I had my first cold 
There was no disease that ever made me sneeze 
Or make anything I'm saying understandable 
It had me goin' crazy 
Oh, I was effed up 
It woke me up daily 
What's two girls one cup? 
Oh right, this rap thing 
I drank orange juice and that disgusting red goop and 
There wasn't any drink 
That could stop the flow of my nose's poopin' 
I had an immune system, 
That did the work of six men, 
But I haven't been cured yet 
So it's like rabies I guess... 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Like 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
He said 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Dang 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
Them 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Away, away, away 
You're gone

== Originals ==

=== Rap ===
Copyright [[JCM Productions]].

==== Lyrics ====

What's up, everyone? I got a story to tell. 
About a whiny little brat lurking on his Dell. 
He said that people like me were doing wrong. 
And he expressed his thoughts on this somehow decent song. 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
With Retards Attempting Poetry. 
And please don't call me stupid for having an opinion. 
I will continue to say it until my days are done. 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
Just Retards Attempting Poetry. 
You say my days are numbered? And sleep with one eye open? 
You won't scare me. You don't scare me. So, listen to me, friend! 
 
Oh yeah! 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
Those Retards Attempting Poetry. 
Think that I don't know that it's just a lack of common sense. 
So remember that one person can make a difference. 
 
So remember the moral of this story. 
Other people can make up these songs for me 
I know it's hypocrisy but 
I do not give a flying

=== Censorship ===
Copyright [[JCM Productions]].

==== Lyrics ====

I was watching a premium channel 
Like Starz, Showtime, and HBO 
When someone said a word that put me in a permanent shock 
 
I was forced to undergo extensive therapy 
And I had to set fire to my flat screen TV 
The same can happen to your children without parental locks 
 
So come on down and get our censorship 
In the USA, it's what they call "hip" 
A family safe environment will finally be in your grip 
 
If you want more, get our extended pack 
Internet, music, and books will get the whack 
If you don't believe us, look at our 12,700 plaques 
 
Any kind of violence has no place with us 
We'll make sure to filter cusses and swears like "shut up" 
Inappropriate behavior will disintegrate to dust 
 
So come on down and get our censorship 
And minors won't get past our walls without a permit 
Just give us a call for minds never being ripped 
(Apart like our hate mail)

{{JCM Productions}}

User talk:Conchris

2014-12-18T02:00:23Z

JCM: /* Question */ new section