Blue Lasermail/P. O. Box

2011-01-13T22:02:12Z

Falcon Paunch:

<blockquote class="bluelaser">Leave Blue Laser a message using this blockquote!</blockquote>
==Messages==
<blockquote class="bluelaser">
Dear Sir(s)<br />
<br />
I am calling from a third wurld country and needs your credit card number
to keep the spread of malaria from killing the potentate. I have also
been informed that you have one the bangladeshian lottery. I f u give me
your ID, Social sicurity number, and banck acount i will tranfer it to u
there.I wil should be at your apartment/dorm rome tonight...please to be
letting me inside your home. I come from a country of the thurd worwald
to recive a donation to keep this county from faling. Gass prices gotcha
doun. Call me at 1-800-4493636669. Hav your credit card # ready. THIS IS
NOT FAKE THIS IS REAL! IT HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER IN LAW YESTERDAY! I AM A
WORLD RENOWNED BISNESS MAN AND NOT A CAT!<br>
<br>
Earnestly and Not Spam(iest) yors<br>
Knowingnest J. Drawbridges
</blockquote class="bluelaser">
<blockquote class="bluelaser">Dear Blue Laser,<br>
Why are you enemies with the Cheat Commandos? Did they do something to you in the past? <br><br>
Nothin's gonna change my woild<br>
John Lennon
</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: Jinjergahjkf</div>
Hewo funeh maan,<br/>
Whro ar u? I am emialing a randokm emila andrez uzin mah blgoa komputar<br/>
plz upn diz feil:<br/>
Da Tomsar
<font color=blue>'''Attachment: AMI ADREZ.txt'''</font></blockquote>

<blockquote class=bluelaser>
<div>Subject: babies</div>
Dear Blue Laser,<br/>
Just who are the Laserbabies?<br/>
Are they your offspring?<br/>
Or are they just babies enlisted in your army?<br/>
-Jenkins</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: life story</div>
Dear Mr. Laser, <br/>
Have you ever considered writing your life story and making it into a movie? I think you'd make a lot of money.<br/>
I mean, no one wants to see something boring, right? You could make your own franchise for that.<br/>
Filling 'em with midnight as always,<br/>
Spades Slick<br/>
</blockquote>

<blockquote class=bluelaser>
<div>Subject: history</div>
Dear Blue Laser,<br/>
What happened to your organization? It seems like it'd have hundreds of soldiers, and yet we only know of at least three.<br/>
Was there some event in the past that wiped out your army?<br/>
-Diamonds Droog</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: time travel</div>
Lord English<br/>
Sincerely yours,<br/>
I think it would cause confusion and wreak havoc on the Cheat Commandos.<br/>
Have you ever considered developing time travel for your army?<br/>
Dear Blue Laser,</blockquote>

<blockquote class=bluelaser>
<div>Subject: GREETINGS</div>
DEAR INSIGNIFICANT CHEAT,<br/>
WE HAVE MET BEFORE. OR, WE WILL BE MEETING IN THE FUTURE.<br/>
THERE IS MUCH YOU NEED TO KNOW, BUT I HAVE EXPLAINED IT, OR WILL EXPLAIN IT, MANY TIMES, AND I AM TOO FRUSTRATED WITH THIS WHOLE THING TO DO SO AGAIN.<br/>
ANYWAYS, GET READY.<br/>
-carcinoGeneticist</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: advertisements</div>
Dear Blue Laser,<br/>
How have you done in your advertising of late? What kind of cool slogans and witty jingles have you used to advance Blue Laser?<br/>
Your friend,<>
Strong Vader</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: computers</div>
Dear Blue Laser,<br/>
How do you deal with really slow computers? Don't you just hate it when that happens? Do you know how to fix mine?<br/>
Your friend,<br/>
Doze
</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: janitor</div>
Dear Blue Laser,<br/>
Does Blue Laser have a janitor? What kind of janitors do you look for? Have you ever hired a janitor only to find that he was a Cheat Commando in disguise?<br/>
Following your past trail,<br/>
-Trace</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: Fans</div>
Dear Blue Laser,<br/>
How do you deal with pesky fan clubs and even peskier fan fiction? Do you do it violently? Would you mind sending me your autograph?
-Dr. Brinner
</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
<div>Subject: Kidnapped</div>
Hey, stupid!<br/>
We have your brother Redd. We will shoot him, or maybe tickle him with this cool eagle feather, or maybe force him to watch some stupid movie or something if you do not pay up 12 million dollars at town hall by noon tomorrow. You cannot find us. You cannot track us. You do not know who we are.<br/>
Sincerely,<br/>
Gunhaver. I mean, Silent Rip. I mean, Fightgar. I mean, Reynold. Yeah, let's stick with Reynold. It's definitely not Gunhaver, that's all you need to know.
</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">Subject: boring<br>
<br>
Dear Blue Laser,<br>
Do you get bored when there's a boring movie on.<br>
-Chris Holland from Missisipi
</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
Subject: Flashback<br>

Dear Blue Loser,<br>
Why do you hate Redd so much? He seems like a pretty OK guy. Was there some form of horrible incident in your childhood you could convienliently flashback to that caused you to hate him?<br>
Not your friend in a million years,<br>
The Failmonger </blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">
Subj:Tasteball e-mail<br>
Dear blue laser.
I informing you that your actions of "tete crushing the cheat commandorks a tete" failed 80 times. That means you have only one change to destroy them. Fail one more time and your FIRED!
That includes your minions TOO!
Patiently waiting for your winning
-Fightflash. (Flashfight's brother)
</blockquote>

<blockquote class="bluelaser">Dear Blue Laser,<br>
What convinced you to fight the forces of good? Did it all start because of something Gunhaver did, or did something else spark this new lifestyle?<br>
Patiently waiting for a reply,<br>
Susan "Falcon Paunch"</blockquote>

Wiki User Wiki - User contributions [en]

Blue Lasermail/P. O. Box