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RiffText/TheWorld'sGreatest

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Prime 8.png

NOXIGAR: Aagh! What is this image and why will it haunt my dreams tonight?!

And by greatest I mean "most curmedgeonly"

NOXIGAR: Wait so this is promising The World's Greatest to be "The World's Most Sourpussly."

NOXIGAR: 'Cause curmudgeon is the correct spelling, and curmudgeon essentially means bad-tempered, difficult, or cantankerous.

NOXIGAR: I'm going to surmise this is par for the course in regards to Strong Intelligent's mannerisms in regards to me. After all, he was hesitant about me riffing his thing when I suggested it to myself and he doesn't really like a majority of my riffs. I can't blame him, personally, as a few are somewhat mediocre due to the source material being that bad (see: GAME 1 - I'm never going to finish that because GAME 1 is too boring to riff).

THEME SONG: "Oooooh, I'm a snaaake, and I'm here to tell you my secrets!"

NOXIGAR: I'd like to hear those secrets over some tea.
now maybe my mother will love me

THE SHOW

This show is about Quint, a koala bear and his talking helicopter friend called Henry.

NOXIGAR: This is a premise that sounds promising.
However, it is only pronounced
Henry
"HENRAHHHHGH".
Quint
Every episode is simply Quint and Henry's journey from Andorra to Maine, which takes several years.
NOXIGAR: Pray tell, where is Andorra?

EPISODES

NOXIGAR: Uh, shouldn't "A New Hope" be what Episode 4 is called?
NOXIGAR: It doesn't seem that special, to be honest.
NOXIGAR: So... it's like an HD version of your previous system?
NOXIGAR: Despite my positive memories of Friends, I wouldn't want this to be similar to that show in episode quality.
NOXIGAR: I fixed that parentheses which would otherwise be missing. Also, I don't really care that much about the Undertaker and don't find anybody's pecs attractive.
NOXIGAR: I hope the episode's longer than The World's Greatest 2. I don't think I ever got the Turbo expansion.
NOXIGAR: I'm not sure why Episode 22 isn't called "On Water!" since that's what you'd get when you mix ice and enough heat to melt it.
NOXIGAR: As far as I can tell, none of these titles have anything to do with the episodes they correspond with.
NOXIGAR: For StroHersh's sake I'll pretend this wasn't a shitty "sixty-nine" joke.
NOXIGAR: Ooh, I wonder how gritty it'll be?!
NOXIGAR: That's what every episode of The World's Greatest is, though. Especially Episode Nineteen or whatever.
NOXIGAR: My sentiments exactly.
NOXIGAR: Jumping the shark implies The World's Greatest can get worse. This is upsetting for a lot of reasons.
NOXIGAR: Isn't that in of itself a "Douglas Adams joke"?
NOXIGAR: If This is the RED version, I shudder to think what the BLUE version would have been like.
NOXIGAR: Wow, so milestone. Very innovative. Such impressive.
NOXIGAR: Do you expect to be victorious? Because victory has already defeated you.
NOXIGAR: AUGUSTUS GLOOP, AUGUSTUS GLOOP, THE MEAN AND GREEDY NINCOMPOOP. AUGUSTUS GLOOP, SO INFANTILE, HE DESERVES TO BE THERE FOR A WHILE.
NOXIGAR: I don't always get the jokes within 5 seconds of them being told, but when I do get the jokes within 5 seconds they tend to be terrible jokes.
NOXIGAR: I always feel like a Time Lord whenever I'm anywhere, honestly. I'm always that out-of-place.
NOXIGAR: Naming an episode based on the best console series ever is a good way to show hidden quality. Maybe The World's Greatest isn't entirely terrible after all- nah, I'm kidding, even if someone made a fanstuff that referenced everything I liked and handled it reasonably well I'd still have to take an objective glance at it in case it winds up having mediocre writing.
NOXIGAR: I'll pretend for StroHersh's sake that this isn't a shitty "sixty-nine" joke.
NOXIGAR: Most TV shows have more lines of dialogue than ten in each episode.
NOXIGAR: I get the feeling you already have Mace Swinger.
NOXIGAR: For what it's worth, I actually don't mind these Steam titles being appropriated into TWG Episode titles, since some of these are actually kind of creative.
NOXIGAR: His admittance of how shoddy these titles all are is really unnerving. It makes me wish he actually tried to write well, is all.
NOXIGAR: I wish I watched Luther so I could get the joke of this episode title.
NAMINE: Is this link like the Aruseus Emails episode in that I'd have to-

NOXIGAR: Nah, nothing obtrusive has to be downloaded and I still wouldn't riff this anyway.
NAMINE: How come?
NOXIGAR: Remolay's voice is actually pretty awesome-sounding for Henry.
NAMINE: And what about Quint?
NOXIGAR: I don't think he actually says anything, unless he's the one inviting me to watch The World's Greatest on CBBC.

NAMINE: You can't go wrong with CBBC.
{Noxigar accidentally spills coffee on the page.}

Episode 14: Crash

{A portal to the Lost Episode opens. Before Noxigar can do anything, Namine jumps in and the portal closes.}
NOXIGAR: Guess it's just me tonight, with the Giuseppe's Pizza Cabin that we both ordered. :(

nah

nah

NOXIGAR: What's the point of this? To be salty at me?
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