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RiffText/Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Bell Quest

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Original

Host Segment 1

{Open up to the concession and tickets room. Chwoka walks in from the side, then jumps and turns.}

CHWOKA: Oh, hey, the camera's finally working. Just in time, too!

BLUEBRY: So, Chwoka, mind explaining to everyone what we're going to do?

CHWOKA: I honestly have no idea, but it apparently has something to do with fried brains...and movie theaters.

{Pan: left. Behind the concession camper, pops up Dr. Brainfreeze}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes, this is a bit of a....{eyes dart the room. Hands are put together and rubbed} psycology experiment {chuckles}

CHWOKA: Wait a minute, you're Dr. Brainfreeze! {pause} I thought ice was your-

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Hey, I'm a doctor also!

BLUEBRY: Righto, can we start this ho or what?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: You actually want to?

CHWOKA: {uncaring of what Bluebry is saying} Wait, where's Skullbuggy?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Frozen.

BLUEBRY: He's a dumpface, let's start this now so I can vomit and go home.

DR. BRAINFREEZE: You're not going home.

BLUEBRY: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Well, if I let you go, you could recuperate. Plus, I wouldn't be able to monitor you.

CHWOKA: ...frozen?

{Bluebry turns blue}

CHWOKA: You monster! You made Bluebry sad!

DR. BRAINFREEZE: {turns to the audience} We'll be right back.

CHWOKA: Oh, we're on TV too!?

{end segment}

{fade in. Chwoka patting a very cold SkullB, who has a hot cocoa and a blanket.}

CHWOKA: There we go, buddy.

SKULLB: So it turns out I wasn't able to do the Polar Plunge. The damndest thing, right? ... Oh, wait. No. That's not right, is it?

CHWOKA: No. You were shoved in a minifridge. That is not the polar plunge.

{Dr Brainfreeze enters, scribbling down on a notepad.}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: {muttering} Polar Plunge, must remember that.. {puts the notepad away and enters a military stance.} I suppose you...three? Where's Bluebry? He needs to hear this.

CHWOKA: In the bathroom.

{Bluebry returns}

BLUEBRY: They have foam soap and it is magnificent.

SKULLB: Really? I love that stuff! ... So who's this old person again?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: How do you not know me? I'm Dr. Brainfreeze - famous supervillian!

BLUEBRY: Where did you receive your M.D.?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Once I discovered the cure for aging, I went to every college in the United States and a couple across the pond. Would you like to read my- Why am I making small talk with my lab rats!?

CHWOKA: Your laboratory is a very smelly theater?

SKULLB: Speaking of, do you have any popcorn? Like, with the yellow goop that smells like butter?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Ah, movie popcorn. Which brings me to my next point - movies. Our experiment is about the worst fanfics on the HRFwiki community.

CHWOKA: But that doesn't make much se-

DR. BRAINFREEZE: It's also about isolation. Today's experiment is called "Bell Quest", a fanstuff full of in-jokes and bad composition.

CHWOKA: Are they searching for a bell?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes, and that bell is also a cat.

SKULLB: What would you call a furry bell? A bellie?

CHWOKA: Oh god, furries.

DR. BRAINFREEZE: You know what's worse than furries?

CHWOKA: What?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Get into the theater.

SKULLB: Oh, alright. Be that way.

{end segment}

MOVIE

(Redirected from YOUR FACE!!!)
{Chwoka walks in, carrying SkullB. He sets him down to his left.}

CHWOKA: Everything's better with poop!
BLUEBRY: Except cyanide capsules, the output is still the same. Speaking of which, where did I put them...

SKULLB: Here's a tip for all you aspiring comedians--add exclamation points! They're funny!!!!

Welcome to Bell Quest. No, it ain't a interactive game.

CHWOKA: And ain't ain't a word.
TECHNO: {reading dictionary} Aint 1. Nonstandard except in some dialects . am not; are not; is not.
2. Nonstandard . have not; has not; do not; does not; did not.

It's just a fanfic by belstrnnmmvnmn & Badstar

BLUEBRY: I'd rather it be an interactive.
SKULLB: {imitating Bell} Eeeeeh, it's just a fanfiiiiic.

Bellquest.PNG

SKULLB: AAH WHAT IS THAT

Chappies

Prologue

  1. Chapter 1: Idiots To The Rescue
  2. Chapter 2: On The Road
  3. Chapter 3: Anti-Bling Attacks!
  4. Chapter 4: Alone
  5. Chapter 5: The Shortest Chapter Ever! Enter Demon Bell! or Bellson saves the day?
Host Segment 2
  1. Chapter 6: the Longest Chapter Ever! 60+ Lines!!! The Flood
  2. Chapter 7: What's Taking Them So Long?!!!
  3. Chapter 8: Wasting time... in song!
  4. Chapter 9: The Penultimate Terror!
  5. Chapter 10: The Final Battel!
Host Segment 3

DVD Version

Host Segment 4