Punching Bells/1

{Open to Cow's house. Bell is there.}

COW: I am bored! Let invent!

IM A BELL: Invent what?

COW: Invent... an emergency zombie invasion kit!

IM A BELL: ...How are we going to do that?

COW: Montage!

{"Teenage Wasteland - The Who" plays while they have a SUPER MONTAGE}

COW: Okay, so, we've got a hammer to break the glass on the outside, and on the inside we've got some cool glasses, a swiss army knife-phone, a pistol, a bullet proof vest, and a chainsaw. Sounds like a winner to me!

IM A BELL: But to me it sounds like the perfect tool for murderous rampages. And, wouldn't the swiss army knife-phone cut up your ear?

COW: See, it flips out to be a swiss army knife, but it's disguised as a normal phone, so you don't really use the phone. Also, let's add a bell alarm {Tries to stuff in bling and puts on the glass}

BLING: HNNNGHHH

COW: ... Okay! Let's sell it!

IM A BELL: ...No, wait!

{Bling starts to seem calm}

IM A BELL: Where are we going to sell it?

{Bling starts to panic}

COW: Hmmm... Maybe we can tell Walmart to install it.

IM A BELL: Will they pay us, though?

COW: Yeah, they'll pay us $100 for giving it to them, $300 for every use.

IM A BELL: So, we'll eventually get $400, right?

COW: Yeah, and we can install 10, so that would be $5000 after a single invasion!

IM A BELL: ...Do we have enough alarms for ten?

COW: ...Oh, no. {Pulls Bling out, who's struggling for air}

BLING: YOU STUPID {BLEEP}ING {BLEEP}! WHY THE {BLEEP} DID YOU {BLEEP}ING {LONG BLEEP}

COW: Oh, be quiet.

BLING:{LONG BLEEP} ON A {BLEEP}ING {BLEEP} WITH FOUR {BLEEP}S {LONG BLEEP} ANCIENT EVIL {LONG BLEEP}ING ARNOLD RIMMER WHILST {LONG BLEEP} TISSUES {LONG BLEEP} HEY LOOK A {LONG BLEEP}

COW: That was so jlagazing, Bling!

BLING: SWEET {BLEEP}ITTY {LONG BLEEP} WITH A BUCKET OF {LONG BLEEP}

COW: Ahhh, shut the hack up.

BLING: FLIPPING {LONG BLEEP}ING {BLEEP} SANDWICH WITH A SIDE OF {LONG BLEEP}

COW: ... {Tapes Bling's mouth shut}

BLING:{muffled screams}

IM A BELL: SHUT UP!

COW: Now, let us sell!

{They drive to Wal-mart with all ten kits}

IM A BELL: That was the most interesting ride to Wal-Mart I've ever had!

BLING:{rips the tape off of his mouth} We met so many celebrities!

COW: Yeah, I know you were being sarcastic, but I SWEAR I ran over Tom Hanks and Ashton Kutcher.

IM A BELL: Poor Tom... At least you missed Robin Williams.

COW: I do miss Tom, but Ashton deserved it. And it's a miss that I missed Joe Jonas and Miley Cyrus. Now, let's go on in.

{they walk in and show the manager.}

{OOC: You control the manager}

MANAGER: ...What is it?

COW: It's a Zombie Invasion Kit!

IM A BELL: It's also good for mad rampages!

MANAGER: Hmm... This is relevant to my interests. How much are you selling these Invasion Kits for?

COW: We were thinking about 100$ per installation in your store, 400 per use.

MANAGER: Hmm... {looks at a Wal-Mart sign} Sounds reasonable.